By Lara-Elaine Koch
Summary: The song "Two Princes," by the Spin Doctors, gets a Lois & Clark makeover.
Okay, I was in karate doing warm-ups when the song "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors came on. I immediately started re-writing the song in my head. Here it is, and the two princes are Dan and Clark.. could you guess? This was written before WWW. It's a little silly, but oh well, I had the *best* time writing it! I still can't stop laughing. Send all comments to firstname.lastname@example.org
The scene: a deserted theater. Lois is in the back, her arms crossed. All of a sudden a curtain rises on stage to reveal hundreds of people with 'Superman' shirts on. Then, Clark comes out in a charcoal suit, followed by Jonathan and Martha in leather jackets, and then Perry and Jimmy in suits, both wearing sunglasses. The FoLCs cheer, and a rock beat starts up. Then Dan comes out and stands next to Clark.
FoLC's Singing: 1, 2, Princes here before you (That's what I said now) Princes, Princes who adore you (Just go ahead now) One has a red cape in his pocket (can you say, "Wow!"?) The other one, he wants to buy you rockets (Or maybe a leer jet)
Perry and Jimmy: Yeaaaaah, yeah yeah yeah. Bu doop boop, boop boop boop boop.. manna manna manna manna manna… (Lois starts walking down the aisle, towards the stage)
This one, looks great in a charcoal jacket (That"s what I said, now) All I can say is that he certainly doesn't lack it (Ain't in my head, now) You marry him, us FoLC's will condone you (How 'bout that, now?) You marry him, we certainly will disown you (Eat our fax now)
Clark Singing to Lois, who is at the foot of the stage now: Marry him, or marry me. I'm the one who loves you, baby, can't you see? I may not have an earthly family tree, But I know what a prince and lover ought to be I want to be with you, so come on, choose me?
Chorus: (Clark and FoLCs) 'Said If you want to go up flying, I'll be here now You won't have to do any deep fat frying I'll use my eyes now If you'll just accept my secret We'll live in heaven Just do me one thing: Promise not to leak it And we'll go ahead now
(Jonathan and Martha on electric guitar have their solo, Lois gets up on stage and moves toward Clark)
FoLC's again: Said, 1, 2 Princes here before you (That's what I said, now) Princes, Princes who adore you (Just go ahead now) One has a red cape in his pocket (Can you say, Wow!"?) This one, he wants to buy you rockets (or maybe a leer jet)
Clark again, this time on his knee in front of Lois: Marry him, or marry me I'm the one who loves you, baby, can't you see? I may not have an earthly family tree but I know what a prince and lover ought to be I want to be with you, so come on choose meeeee
Lois pushes Dan off the stage, puts her arms around Clark and kisses him deeply. We FoLC's cheer and sing the chorus three times: 'Said If you want to go up flying, I'll be here now You won't have to do any deep fat frying I'll use my eyes now If you'll just accept my secret We'll live in heaven Just do me one thing: Promise not to leak it And we'll go ahead now
Everyone: (Martha and Jonathan making circles around Clark on their guitars, Perry and Jimmy singing their hearts out, Jimmy on drums, and Lois and Clark hand and hand singing): Woahhh Baby, we'll go ahead now Oooooh, baby, baby we'll go ahead now Wohhhh, your majesty We'll go ahead now Come on, forget him and come with me… Go ahead now… Come on, Come on, go ahead now Come on, Come on.. go ahead now…
The music fades out as L&C lock in another kiss. The lights fade, the curtain drops in front of the FoLC's, and everyone leaves, leaving Lois and Clark in their new found happiness)
(Now.. which way is it to that hospital?)