By Sara Kraft (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Summary: A humorous "personal account" of a FoLC for whom the world of Lois & Clark is a little too real. The full title is "Losing a Grip on Reality: The Effects of LCWS on the Mind of a FoLC."
The Effects of LCWS on the mind of a FOLC (Oh wait, did I say _Lois_ing? I meant losing. <g>)
I'm not quite sure if this actually fits into the "fanfic" category, but I thought some FOLCs would enjoy it. When you're done reading, tell me what you think. (Please <g>)
I've always acted and looked the part of a normal high school teenager. I've always been able to hide the symptoms from others. Until recently, I've always had a grip on reality. Lois and Clark are just characters on a television series. They don't go on with their lives when I turn the TV off. Yesterday, I was finally released from the institution. I've once again put on the facade of a normal teenager with a good solid grip on reality. (Or at least that's what the doctors think. They don't know that LCWS stays with you. Once an L&C-aholic, always an L&C-aholic.) As long as I can mask the symptoms, I will be able to stay on the outside.
I first noticed the disease seeping in when my family and friends started teasing me. I didn't seem to find myself humorous, as they did, just because I happened to know the exact hours, minutes and seconds until Sunday night at seven. At school, I started hanging around this guy my age. He just happened to be a dead-ringer for Dean. We got to know each other and even started going out. He and I got along great. That is until the day I accidentally slipped and called him Dean. He dumped me and life went on.
I remember the day of my downfall with extreme clarity, even though the doctors said I was suffering from "temporary dementia". It was a Monday afternoon, the night before was a killer. There wasn't a new episode on, so I watched my tape of Double Jeopardy, thinking I'd get a good laugh out of the clone's antics. It did settle my nerves somewhat, but left me with an unnatural and seething hatred for Lex.
My father had the day off, so the family decided to go out for lunch together. We were seated in the corner booth of a casual restaurant. I had a good view of most of the dining area from my seat on the end of the booth. I was of sound mind until I saw *him* walk in. He was a well dressed, handsome man, apparently on a lunch date with some business associates. Whether it was John Shea, a clone, or just some innocent man with an unfortunate likeness to the former, it didn't matter. All I could see was Lex Luthor.
I stood, my fists clenched and my teeth grinding. I stormed my 5'10" up to his 6'2" and grabbed the poor man. Taking him by surprise, he was completely stunned and unable to escape my super grip. I shook him violently and screamed at him to reveal Lois' whereabouts. He was unwilling to give up the information, so I started punching him. That's when the rest of the diners came out of their initial shock and proceeded to restrain me.
The waitress had called the police, who had just arrived on the scene. They handcuffed my wrists and drug me away to the patrol car. The entire ride to the station, I tried in vain to convince the officers that I was justified in my outburst. I told them of all Lex's crimes that the man was guilty of.
I spent three months in intensive therapy, convincing the therapists and doctors that my fit of rage was a one-time occurrence of temporary insanity. The whole while, I did not so much as whisper the words Lois and Clark. Though I never mentioned anything of the television show, it was always on my mind.
They released me with a clean bill of mental health, just a day before the fourth season premiere of Lois and Clark. The doctors believe me now when I tell them, "Lois and Clark are just characters on a television series. They don't go on with their lives when I turn the TV off."
Today, I still crane my neck to get a good look inside every silver Jeep Grand Cherokee that I see. Every time I see the word 'metropolis' in print, I still smile to myself. I continue to read and write fanfic. And no way have I given up my extensive collection of L&C tapes and memorabilia. I believe that I can live a normal life with my illness. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my medication....a new episode of L&C.