By Lynn Walker (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Summary: Lois and Clark try to find the perfect apartment before the baby arrives.
"One bedroom, one bath. Small, but homey kitchen." Lois read, clearly annoyed. "Doesn't anyone have good apartments for rent?"
Clark, with his super-speed reading power, found an ad perfect for a little joke.
"Lois, listen to this one. Small white house, satellite dish, white picket fence. Call Dave Miller." He was trying to control his laughter.
"Ha, ha, Clark. You know, after all that we've been through, I don't even know how you can call that funny." Lois was right. After all "Dave Miller" happened to be Ching from the planet New Krypton, and wanted to take Clark back with him.
"You're right, Lois," Clark said. "But if we don't find a nice, big apartment soon, this baby," he pointed to Lois' eight and a half months pregnant stomach, "or this baby won't have a place to sleep."
"Well, what do you think of this?" Lois seemed impressed with the ad. "Three bedroom. Large, master bedroom, with three large walk-in closets. Second bedroom joins to the master bedroom, perfect for family with a small child. One and a half baths, large kitchen, living room, family room." Lois held up the paper. "It's only $650 a month!"
Clark looked at it very closely. "The master bedroom has three walk-in closets! One can be for my," he lowered his voice, "Superman suits—"
"—and we STILL have one for each of us," Lois cut in. "What do you say we call, maybe check the place out?"
"Sounds good to me," Clark said. He spotted Perry, talking to Jimmy.
"Perry?" He called.
Perry looked up, glanced around the room to see who was talking to him. He spoted Lois and Clark, putting on their coats.
"Clark? Where are you two going?" He asked.
Lois flipped her collar as she dared to ask a question.
"Could we have an early lunch? We have, uh, errands to run," Lois stuttered. Clark looked at her, and mouthed, "What?"
Perry looked confused, but then had that look as if a light bulb was turned on in his head.
"Sure, go ahead. Take as much time as you want." He winked at Jimmy after he said this.
"Thanks, Chief," Lois said, a bit confused.
"No problem." Perry stared, silently telling them to hurry up.
"Okay. We'll be back in two hours," Clark helped the over-sized Lois up the stairs and in the elevator.
"You think they suspect?" Jimmy asked.
Perry looked at the worried boy.
"Jimmy, they're my best reporters here. If they don't suspect, I'd be surprised. But if they do, there's no way they'll think a baby shower's in order." He smiled a wicked smile. "Okay everybody!" He yelled to no one in particular. "Let's get this place dazzled for the shower."
"You know," Lois said as she pushed open the revolving door, "I have never seen Perry so eager to get some reporters out of his newsroom." She looked at Clark. "Do you think something's up?"
"Maybe. And what was that, may I ask, that you wouldn't tell Perry about where we're going?" Clark didn't understand his wife very well.
"I don't know, I just don't think we should be announcing our plans to move yet." Lois put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. "Taxi!!"
A yellow taxi with the words "Metropolis, New Troy" pulled up beside them and stopped with a sudden jolt. Clark couldn't help but to smile. You don't see this in Smallville, that's for sure. He helped Lois climb in.
"You're mighty pregnant, lady," the cab driver said to Lois. "Where to?"
Lois glanced at Clark, who was trying not to laugh.
"344 Clinton street." Clark said, trying to distract himself.
The cab speeds away.
The door to Clark's apartment opened, where boxes of Lois's stuff were heaped up into gigantic piles. Lois and Clark walked in.
"You have the paper right?" Lois said to Clark, who was looking around the room.
"Huh?" He snapped back to attention. "Yeah, it's right here. Uh, Lois?"
"What Clark?" She asked as she grabbed the paper and found the ad.
"Um, I hope this apartment is big, because we've got a lot of stuff," Clark pointed out.
"Uh?" Lois looked up. "Oh, sure. We'll find some way."
"Not to mention all the baby stuff—" Clark went on.
Lois put the paper down, took Clark's hands and they both sat down on the couch.
"Clark, we've got time. I haven't even called the place yet!" Lois had a good point.
"Okay." Clark looked up suddenly.
Lois looked up, too, before she realized that it was Clark's super-hearing. Somebody was in trouble. Big trouble.
"What do you hear?"
"Hold on," Clark said. Lois's hair, which has grown back too what it was like before, blew around as Clark changed into Superman.
"Shark in California. I'll be right back!" Superman flew out the door, and flew all the way to the west coast, where a shark was threatening a mother and two children.
Superman dove into the water and carried the shark high into the sky. The shark was biting him. Superman sighed, and tried to pry the shark's mouth off his arm without breaking it's jaw. Finally, he descended back down to the water, far from the shore. Once the shark swam away, Superman began to fly back toward New Troy.
"— a massive forest fire in Africa—" Superman's ears were alerted by a news bulletin on a radio. With his x-ray eyes, he saw a clock and noticed he had been gone for five minutes. He was sure Lois wouldn't worry, and rushed off to Africa.
Lois looked at her watch. Clark had been gone for five minutes, so there was no need to worry yet. She picked up the phone and dialed the number listed in the ad.
"Quality Homes realty. How may I help you?"
"Yes. May I please speak with…" she looked back down at the paper. "May Willis?"
"One moment, please," the secretary said, as Lois was put on hold for what seemed like forever.
The line clicked. "May Willis."
"Ms. Willis? My name is Lois Lane." Lois looked at her watch again. It had now been ten minutes since Clark left. How long could it take rescuing someone from a shark?
"Lois Lane. Hm. Where have I heard that name?" Ms. Willis was babbling. "Oh, from the Daily Planet. How can I help you?"
"I was wondering if my husband and I could look at an apartment that you have listed." Lois thought she heard cheering in the background.
"Hm? Pardon me?" The cheering continued, but Ms. Willis turned her attention back to the phone call.
"Ms. Willis, what's going on?" an impatient Lois asked.
"Oh, Superman just stopped a forest fire in Africa. Now, you said something about an apartment? Which one?"
Lois now understood why Clark was taking so long.
"We found an ad in your company's flyer talking about a two bedroom, master with three walk-in-closets. If at all possible, we'd like to take a look at it," Lois said.
"Well, I was just about to go meet with another couple for the same apartment. Could you meet me there in about a half hour?" Ms. Willis seemed to want to know Lois's reaction to the news that someone else was interested.
"That's fine. What's the address?" Lois wasn't terribly worried. She had a feeling something good would happen with it.
Clark turned the corner and flew into his apartment, just as Lois was hanging up the phone. He landed with a thud, and Lois whipped around. But only as fast as someone eight and a half months pregnant could whip.
"Oh! You scared me!" She said, still gripping the phone. She hung it up.
"Who was that? Clark asked, his face and costume black from battling the fire in Africa.
"May Willis from Quality Homes." Lois didn't wait for a reaction. "That fire must have been bad. Look at you."
"That's why I took so long. You weren't worried?" Clark asked.
Lois gave him a Look. "Please. The only thing I'm worried about is that you won't be showered and changed in time for us to meet her at the apartment in twenty-five minutes."
Clark gave the Look back to her. "Please," he said in the same tone of voice. "I'm not worried." With that he flew into the washroom, turned on the shower for maybe ten seconds, got dressed, did his hair, all in a matter of twenty seconds or less.
Lois smiled. "Cute."
"Yeah. If only you could get dressed that fast," he said with a laugh.
"Ha ha ha. Let's eat. I'm starving." Lois waddled into the kitchen, and opened the refrigerator.
"What else is new," Clark said under his breath.
Lois turned around. "You wanna say that again?" she said.
"No, no, that's all right," Clark said quickly.
Lois turned her attention back to the refrigerator and stared at it.
"Clark?" Lois whined.
"Let me guess. 'Clark, there's nothing to eat that I want. Let's go out for Chinese'. Am I right?" Clark knew his wife very well.
Lois shut the refrigerator door and looked at him very closely. "Well…"
Clark sighed. Then he flew out the door.
Lois frowned. "Well, you don't have to leave me because I have a craving!!" she shouted out the door.
WOOOSHH!! In flew Clark, arms full of take-out, and a small, but thick, book.
"Lois, I would never leave you," he stated as he sat down at the table.
Lois put some plates and cutlery on the table. "And I always knew that," she said, as she sat on his lap and kissed him passionately. Suddenly, she drew back and got up.
"Hey!" She shouted, licking her lips. "You already ate! You taste like… spaghetti!" She started laughing. Soon Clark was laughing, too.
"I was hungry, and I didn't feel like Chinese," he said.
"What's the book?" Lois asked.
Clark got up. "Ah, my greatest idea yet. A Chinese cookbook! Each recipe feeds four. I figured you could eat that much."
Lois, who had begun to shove great quantities of food in her mouth, started chewing furiously so she could speak.
"You know, you shouldn't talk. The amount you eat, these muscles here are going to become overcome with fat!" She said defensively.
"Sorry Lois. Extra body fat just isn't in my metabolism," Clark said with a hint of bragging.
"Well, good for you," Lois began feeding her face again.
(At The Daily Planet)
"There!" Jimmy exclaimed. He had just finished struggling to put up a banner that read: "Lane, Kent and Lane- Kent: What a Trio!"
"Looks good, Jimmy," Perry nodded with approval. The other people in the room were putting up other decorations, but once they heard Perry's approval, they cheered.
"Uh, thanks," Jimmy stuttered. "I thought of it all by myself!" he said, trying to earn a promotion.
"Well, maybe you have too much time to think and need an extra story or two to cover," Perry said, preoccupied with some food.
Yes! Jimmy said to himself. Perry knew him real well. Sometimes Jimmy thought of him as a father. Sure, he loved his own father, but Jack Olsen was a spy, so Jimmy never saw him. He was thankful for a boss like Perry.
"Good news, everybody!" Perry yelled. "We've still got a little less than an hour before Lois and Clark have to come back. So get to work!"
Clark looked at all of the empty cardboard boxes on the table, and sighed. He never knew it was possible for a human to eat that much at one time. He then looked at his watch.
"Are you almost done? We've only got ten minutes," he said.
Lois gave a little hiccup. "Yes, I'm done."
"Thank goodness. You're costing us—" Clark was cut off.
"I mean, I'm done with the Chinese. After we're done looking at the apartment, why don't we go for Italian?" Lois wiped her mouth with her sleeve.
"Oh, Lois…" Clark groaned.
Lois tilted her head and looked at Clark. "I'm just kidding. Take a joke, will you?" She struggled to get out of her chair. "Now, how are we getting there? Walking, which to be frank, I don't think I'm getting to be too good at, taking a cab or Superman Express?"
"What's the address?" Clark asked.
"It's two or three block west of the Daily Planet," Lois said.
"Oh, hey, I'll fly us. It's not that far, I'm sure I won't put my back out," Clark grinned jokingly at Lois. "Come on, let's go."
The door of an empty apartment opened. "—and here we are," Ms. Willis said.
Lois and Clark were speechless. The apartment was HUGE, and not to mention, spotless. Right off of the foyer was the kitchen, with adjoining dining room.
"Wow!" Lois said. She grabbed Clark's hand and dragged him in. "Look at all the room for food!" Clark looked horrified at first, that Lois was STILL thinking about food, but then realized that he shouldn't talk.
"It's so… big," Clark said.
Lois leaned over. "You call yourself a writer and can't even think of a better word than 'big'?" she whispered in his ear.
"As you can see," Ms Willis said leading them through the entrance to the dining room, "the dining room has French doors leading to the living room. And if you'll just follow me, I'll show you the family room." She lead them through the spacious living room, and into a sunken family room.
"Perfect for kids to play, while mommy and daddy can watch TV or just relax," Ms Willis continued.
"Clark, come over here," Lois said. She pointed out the window. "Look at the view!!"
The large window focused right over the heart of Metropolis, the Daily Planet.
"And this door here leads into the third bedroom," Ms. Willis said.
It was quite large, Clark said to himself. He couldn't wait to see the master.
"Can I show you the master bedroom?" Ms. Willis asked.
"Sure," Clark said.
Ms. Willis walked over to a set of double doors, and opened them. Lois and Clark walked forward. There, was the biggest bedroom either of them had ever seen. There were four doors, all leading to something amazing.
Ms. Willis walked over to the first one. "Here we have the full bath." Clark leaned over to look in.
"Oh, my—" he started.
"Clark?" Lois asked, interrupting him. "Come here."
Clark walked over to where Lois was gapping. There was another bedroom, smaller than the master, but was decorated as a nursery. It was beautiful.
"Oh, Clark, it's perfect," Lois said, as Clark put his arm around her shoulders.
Ms. Willis cleared her throat, and Lois and Clark turned around. "These doors here are two of the walk-in closets," she said, opening them.
"Uh, I thought the ad said *three* walk-in closets," Clark said.
"Ah, and we weren't lying," Ms. Willis said. She walked into one and opened another door. "The beauty of it is, it's hidden right in this closet."
Lois and Clark exchanged a Look. They both never exactly what the other was thinking. It's PERFECT!!!!
"And, so, as you know it's only $650 a month, cable extra," Ms. Willis said, walking back to the foyer. "Perfect area, considering you work right across the street. Right? Lane and Kent, Daily Planet?"
"Yes, that's us," Lois said. "Can we have a minute?"
"Absolutely," Ms. Willis said, as Lois and Clark walked into the family room, and looked out the window at the Planet.
"Lois, I don't think there's anything to discuss. The place is perfect," Clark said. He was obviously eager for the place.
"You're right," Lois said. She put her hand on her stomach and asked, "What do you think, Baby?" The response she got was a kick. Lois groaned, and said. "Well, she seems to like it."
"All right then, it's settled," Clark said, walking back to the foyer. "Ms. Willis? We'll take it." Lois came up from behind him and they put their arms around each other and smiled.
Lois pushed the revolving door and walking into the Daily Planet.
"Can you believe it? We can move in whenever we want," she said.
"Well," Clark said. "As long as there are no natural disaster this afternoon, I can do it. Or, my alter ego can."
"Perfect," Lois said, and walked into the elevator.
"All right, thanks, Bob," Perry said into the phone. He walked out into the newsroom. "All right, everyone, Lois and Clark are on their way up. Into your positions!" He yelled. Everyone scrambled, the lights went off and once it was silent, they heard the elevator ding.
"So this afternoon—" Lois said, walking out, but stopping once she heard nothing and saw even less.
"What—" Clark said.
The lights flickered on. "SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!" Everyone shouted.
Lois and Clark just looked there, shocked.
"It's a baby shower!" Jimmy exclaimed.
"Oh, you guys!" Clark said.
"Is there food?" Lois asked. Everyone groaned.
"Yes, Lois, over here," Perry said.
The shower was almost over. Lois's desk had mounds of paper plates on it. She was sitting in her chair, with Clark massaging her shoulders, and Perry and Jimmy standing around.
"We can't thank you enough," Lois said. "Especially for the cake," she added. Clark just rolled his eyes.
"Well, we have an announcement," Clark said. "We rented a new apartment. And once we're settled in, we want you guys to be our first guests."
"Yes, and—" Lois grabbed her stomach, and cried out in pain.
"Lois— are you okay?" Clark asked.
Lois settled back down. "Yeah, I must have eaten too much."
"Well, congratulations on everything," Perry said. "Okay, everybody!" He yelled. "Let's get this place cleaned up! We still have a paper to print!"
Lois grabbed some of the garbage on her desk and took it over to the garbage can. Then she got a feeling that could not be described as anything else.
"CLARK!!" she screamed.
Clark looked up at his wife and literally flew over to her. He didn't care if anyone saw him. "What!?"
"Clark— my water just broke! I'm in labor!" Lois screamed, tears streaming down her face.
The whole newsroom went silent.
"Well, um," Clark stuttered, trying to comfort Lois. "Perry! What do we do?"
"What do you think, son?" He said. "You gotta get her to the hospital!"
"I'll call a cab," Jimmy offered.
"No! No cab," Lois said, trying to regain control. "Clark, get Superman."
"Perry, help Lois onto your couch," Clark said, starting to give out commands. "Jimmy, call the hospital, let them know, and help Perry. I'm going to go find Superman." He began to undo his tie, and ran into the elevator.
Perry put Lois's arm around his neck. "Try to walk."
"How can I walk? I'm about to give birth!" She said. "Oh, god. Here it comes again!" And she began to scream. The contractions were about seven minutes apart now.
Jimmy came running. "Hospital is notified. They're expecting a pregnant woman arriving by Superman express," he said smiling. He was so excited.
Just then the elevator doors opened and Superman came flying in. He flew to Perry's office, where Perry had just gotten Lois.
"Thanks, Mr. White, Jimmy. I've got it from here," he said. He picked up Lois.
"Lois, honey, we'll be there as soon as we can." Perry said.
Lois smiled. "Thanks for everything." And with that they were off.
Five hours later, Lois was screaming in her hospital room.
"CLARK!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!?!" She grabbed at Clark's neck. He, of course, wasn't bothered by it. Then she tried to hit him, but he backed out of the way,
"Lois," he said softly. "You'll break you knuckles. Here, squeeze my hand." He held it out to her. She began trying to rip it apart.
"Lois," Dr. Konkle said. "You're going to tear off your husband's hand."
"GOOD!" she yelled.
Dr. Konkle examined the situation. "Okay, Lois, one more push, and this should be it. Come on, you can do it."
Outside the room, Jonathan and Martha stood, listening to the pain that Lois was going through. For a second, Martha was glad that she never had to go through that. But she was interrupted by Perry and Jimmy.
"We got the paper to bed," Perry said. "Any news yet?"
Jonathan shook his head. "No, not yet—"
There was another scream, but this time it wasn't from Lois. It sounded like it came from a newborn baby.
The door opened and Clark burst out. "It's a girl!" he exclaimed. He was crying, too.
"Jonathan! We're grandparents!" Martha yelled, and embraced her husband.
"I gotta get back in there. You know Lois…" Clark said with a smile. He went back in.
Dr. Konkle was handing a little baby wrapped up in a pink blanket to Lois. "There you go—" he started, be he was interrupted by a scream from Lois. He handed the baby back to the nurse, and looked.
"What's happening?" Lois asked.
"Well, you did such a good job that time, I think that someone wants you to go through it again."
"What?!" Clark asked.
Dr. Konkle looked at Clark. "You are about to become the father of twins."
It was all Clark could do so he wouldn't faint.
Martha and Jonathan were still embracing, when a shrill scream split them apart.
Jimmy looked at Perry. "It couldn't be—"
"She must be having another one!" They both said at the same time.
More screams followed, then a vague baby's cry. They waited several more minutes.
The door opened and Clark came out, a baby girl in his left arm, and a baby boy in his right. He was still crying.
Then, Ellen, Sam and Lucy Lane came running around the corner.
"Well?" Ellen exclaimed. "Am I a grandmother yet?" she asked. They all stopped when they saw Clark, his arms full. Lucy gasped.
"Twins!?" Sam exclaimed.
Clark just nodded. Then the Dr. Konkle came out. "Clark? Could you come back in? Lois wants to see you."
"They'll be in the nursery soon. Then you can visit Lois," Clark said. Two nurses came out hand took the babies back in. Clark turned.
"Wait, Clark?" Lucy asked. "What are you going to name them?"
Clark looked puzzled. Then he started laughing. "We never even talked about it!" He walked back into the room. "Hey, Lois."
Lois was crying and holding her new kids. "Yes, Clark?"
"What are we going to name them?" he asked.
Lois looked up. She knew the answer to this. "I'd been thinking about this a lot. I think we should name them after your parents."
Clark thought. "Jonathan and Martha?"
Lois smiled. "No, your real parents. Obviously we won't name them Lara and Jor-El, but how about Laura and Jordan?"
New tears started flowing down Clark's cheeks. "I love you so much, Lois."
Lois looked at him. "And I love you, too. And now our love will be shared with two new children. Our children."
And then they kissed.