By Jessica Hall (Leah150@aol.com)
Summary: Lois decides it's time to let Clark know how she really feels. A second-season story that takes place somewhere between "That Old Gang of Mine" and "The Phoenix."
This takes place somewhere between That Old Gang of Mine and The Phoenix. All comments are welcome, but this is my first fanfic, so please go easy on me!
Lois Lane walked into the Daily Planet newsroom and stalked over to her desk. She threw her bag down on her desk and plopped down in the chair. She didn't say hi to Clark Kent, as she usually did, but Lois turned around when she heard Clark coming up behind her. Lois and Clark were the Daily Planet's star reporting team, and also best friends. At first, Lois had been adamant about not having a partner, but eventually she began to open up to Clark and they developed an amazing relationship. The problem was, they both wanted more. One of them knew this, and the other one was begging to realize how much her partner really meant to her.
"Hi Lois," said Clark cheerfully.
"Oh, hi Clark," Lois responded. She was confused and maybe even a little depressed, because she might have missed something important. How could she have been so blind? Lois had stayed up all night thinking about him. About Clark, and how lucky she was to have him in her life. How she couldn't live without him. *Unless you call what you did before Clark living.* She had only thought about someone this much once before: Superman. Now, instead, she was thinking about Clark.
After Clark was resurrected, after Lois thought she had lost him forever, she began feeling something for Clark that wasn't there before. She remembered seeing him dead on the floor of the club, and then seeing the gangsters drag him away. The next few days when Lois thought he was dead, all Lois did was mope around. She recalled walking over to Clark's desk and sitting down, like she was waiting for him. Lois recalled the cold feeling she had, and the realization that she would never see Clark again.
Then, when she found out Clark was alive, Lois couldn't believe how relieved she was. He and Lois had been lucky enough to get a second chance. Maybe those feelings for Clark really had always been there, and she had usually ignored it. Perhaps Clark's resurrection had meant something about them. That, possibly, they should be more then friends. Lois had figured out only one thing- she loved Clark and not just "like a brother", as she had told him when he had amnesia.
However, lately, Clark had been all business with her. Maybe after trying so hard to get Lois to go out with him, Clark had given up because he thought it was hopeless, and Lois was too late and had missed her chance, and now Clark liked…ughhhh…Mayson.
Mayson Drake, an assistant DA, was not exactly what Lois would call subtle about her feelings for Clark. She, shamelessly, in Lois' opinion, threw herself at Clark. Every time she turned around, there was Mayson, all over Clark. As much as Lois hated to admit it, she was jealous because Clark had actually seemed interested. But she would never tell anyone that. Lois knew that eventually, Mayson was going to make a move. That's when Lois knew that she had to do something now, before Mayson did, if she wanted to keep the best thing in her life. And if she just sat there, she might lose Clark to Mayson. *Yuck, I can't STAND that woman.*
Lois' heart now knew what she wanted, but her brain kept sending out warning signals. She had this insey- wensy little problem with trust. It wasn't Clark's fault, but she had just been marred by her past relationships too much. Lex, her latest fiasco, had really torn her up. Not because she loved him, but she was so embarrassed by the whole thing. Lois was a reporter, and she had almost married one of the biggest crooks ever. How could she have missed something like that? Clark had warned her about Lex, and in the end, he was the one responsible for saving Lois from marrying that monster.
Lois knew that Clark would never hurt her, but fact alone did not keep her from wondering whether or not she would get hurt again. Then, she thought of Mayson and Clark. Together. Lois took a deep breath. She had to say something, now, before she lost her nerve.
"Lois? Is something wrong?" Clark interrupted Lois before she could say a word. He knew something was up with Lois today. He knew her too well, and Lois was never, EVER this quiet.
"Wrong? No it's just…Clark, we need to talk. Not here. Meet me at my apartment, tonight at seven, ok?" Lois just blurted it out. She sighed, and felt so much better now that things were going to get out in the open. The hard part was over. *Now, just *pray* that Clark feels the same way. What if he doesn't? I can't think about that now.*
Lois knew what she wanted, but her mind was screaming "Don't do it, Lois! You'll get hurt!" She chose to ignore it. Lois knew that she needed to learn how to trust. She realized that she had loved Clark ever since that wedding disaster with Lex. Or, that was the first time when she faced that fact. She had stood, in her bridal gown right before the ceremony was to start, gazing at her reflection in the mirror and had whispered, "Lois Lane…Kent." With that, her feelings for Clark became clearer. Nevertheless, she once again covered up her true feelings to avoid getting hurt. But Lois just couldn't deny it any longer.
"Lois? Are you positive you're OK?" Clark looked worried. Why couldn't Lois just tell him here? What was wrong?
"I'm fine!" Lois snapped. *Oh, no I've really done it now. There's no chance at all anymore. How could I just snap at him like that, for no reason?* Lois felt terrible, and when she looked up at Clark she saw the hurt looking his eyes. Lois hadn't meant to do that, she just responded like that as a reflex. Usually, Clark didn't mind because he was used to it.
"Ok Lois, I'll forget about it," Clark said softly. He didn't want to push her. He knew better than anyone that Lois wouldn't open up until she was good and ready. And when she did, you better have the time to listen, because she had this tendency to babble.
"Lois! Clark!" Perry White, the editor of the Daily Planet, yelled, coming out of his office. He had seen many reporting teams come and go, and the reporting team of Lane and Kent had the most chemistry of any of them. But they were both too stubborn to admit their true feelings for each other.
"What's up, Chief?" Lois and Clark asked in unison. They turned toward one another slowly, and Lois looked up into Clark's big brown eyes, the color of chocolate. *Chocolate…*
Clark stared back, wondering what Lois was thinking. *If I didn't know better, I would think that…She looks so beautiful.*
"Lois, Clark, was I uh, interrupting something?" Perry looked suspicious. Just what was going on between these two?
"No, Perry, we were just, um, discussing our latest story. We've come to a dead end," Lois explained. *No Perry, I was just admiring how gorgeous Clark is, and how much I want to kiss him right now.*
Clark jumped in "We need to talk to Bobby."
"Good, because, I would hate for work to interfere with, well shall I say, other things? Now, there's a holdup down at STAR Labs. Get down there, now!" Perry barked. He wondered what in Elvis' name was going on between these two. Lois and Clark were two of the most professional reporters he knew, except for when it came to each other. Perry knew that he'd better let them work it out on their own. But if they DIDN'T work it out he would hate to see one of the best reporting teams in a long time break up over something like this. He remembered Norcross and Judd, but they weren't Lois and Clark. If only Clark would make his move. Perry turned around.
"Jimmy! Get your camera and go with Lois and Clark!" Perry yelled, as Jimmy scrambled around. He watched everyone in the newsroom running around, scared of what might happen if they didn't listen to Perry. But those who knew him well knew what Perry was just a big softie who loved Elvis underneath his gruff appearance. He was pulling for this thing, whatever it was, to work out between Lois and Clark more than anyone else.
Clark knew that he needed to get down to STAR Labs. But hated to lie to Lois one more time. But he knew that people's lives were at risk. *What am I supposed to say, "Lois, I'm Superman, gotta fly?"*
"Lois, why don't I meet you and Jimmy down there. I have to, ah, return an overdue book. It's right on the way," Clark said, fumbling for words. He knew that it was a lousy excuse, but he was running out of good ones.
"Clark! Are you joking? A holdup and you have to return a BOOK??!! I… oh fine, see you there. C'mon, Jimmy," Lois didn't want to think about how Clark constantly ran off, even in the midst of important conversations or stories. That was one of his most annoying habits. However, Lois didn't have time to think about that now; they were on a story.
When Lois and Jimmy pulled up at STAR Labs, Lois hopped out of the Jeep and surveyed the scene. Police and workers in white lab costs everywhere. Reporters trying to talk to anyone who looked important. Superman, with two guys who looked as if they might be the culprits.
"Jimmy, go get pictures of those goons being put in the police car Try and see if you can get any comment from them about why they did this," Lois turned towards Superman. "SUPERMAN!" Lois yelled, waving her arms. She could always get an exclusive from him. Once, she used to look forward to seeing and interviewing him, hoping that something might happen. Now Lois understood that they were only friends, because Superman was just a fantasy. Clark- he was real.
Clark handed the two suspects to the police as Jimmy snapped pictures. He heard Lois yelling and went over to her, putting on his 'Superman face'. It was getting harder and harder to act like Superman and not Clark, especially around Lois, where things were already complicated enough. After all, he was both Clark and Superman.
"Superman, what happened?" Lois asked, letting her reporters instincts take over. She was good. Lois knew how to ask the right questions and get the right answers out of people. Yet, while she was trying to concentrate on what Superman was saying, she found her mind wandering to Clark. Why wasn't he around? He said the library was on the way, so Clark should have been here by now. Where was he?
"They wanted Kryptonite, but I got here in time. If I had arrived ten second later, then they would have… Anyway, everything's fine now," Clark explained. *She is so headstrong and stubborn, never stopping until she gets the whole story.*
However, Lois did not appear to be listening. She was just staring at him blankly.
Lois gazed at him, thinking something. He looked so familiar. How he was…Lois came back to reality, realizing that Superman had finished.
"What? Oh, yeah, that's good they were caught," Lois mumbled. His eyes looked so kind. They reminded her of someone…of Clark! *No, that's impossible.*
"Where's Clark?" Lois asked, still trying to figure out why she had this feeling that he..
"Clark? He, uh, um…I haven't seen him," Clark stuttered, trying to think of something else to say.
"Clark!" Lois said. It wasn't so much of a question as it was a statement.
"What, Lois?" Clark replied. He was so used to Lois saying his name that he responded to it automatically.
At that moment, Lois felt like the floodgates had opened. How dumb was she? He was…Superman! Lois had never seen Clark and Superman together, not ever. Clark was always jealous of the men she dated, but he was never jealous of Superman. In fact, at the beginning, Clark seemed almost happy that Lois fell for Superman. That was not normal! *I don't believe it!*
"Clark! You are…he is…how incredibly STUPID do you think I am?!" Lois screamed. She was enraged. Lois couldn't think. It wasn't true, it couldn't be.
"What?" Clark asked, flustered. Had Lois figured him out?
*No, NO, NO! I'm losing it, my minds in overdrive because I hardly slept last night because I was thinking about Clark. It can't be real. There's no way Clark can be him. It's just not imaginable, or possible. NO!*
"You are him! I mean, he's you! I mean…Superman! You're Clark! Clark! You ARE Superman!" Lois was screaming her lungs out now. She was raging. Fortunately for Clark, they were out of earshot.
"Lois! Keep your voice down! What are you thinking, people will hear you! I have to go. I hear…uh, a cat stuck up in a tree," Clark said, getting ready to fly off. What a day. Lois said she wanted to talk to him, which Clark STILL didn't know what about, he almost ran into Kryptonite, and Lois had probably figured out his biggest secret.
"NO! Clark Jerome Kent, you stay right here! You always run, or I guess I should say fly, off, and I, for one, am sick of it! We need to talk, now! Where's somewhere quiet, where I can yell as much as I want?" Lois demanded. *I just can not get over this. How could Clark lie like that to me? For two years! He's my friend, my best friend, someone I can trust.* Lois was more confused now than she was before. She loved him, but now, now everything was different. Lois had thought of them as two different men. She loved both, but not in the same way. The Superman fantasy was done with, Lois had moved on. She started loving Clark, and now this huge revelation had changed everything. Nothing would be the same ever again.
"Lois? I know you're probably angry, and you have a lot a questions. I think I should explain some things too. C'mon, I'll take you to the quietest place I know. No one else is ever there," Clark said. He had no clue what he was doing. *I should have denied it.* Yet, another part of him was relieved that Lois had found out. No more secrets, no more lies. It was time she knew the truth.
"Let's go, Superman…Clark…whoever you are," Lois snapped.
Superman picked her up…different. He wasn't Superman anymore. He was Clark Kent, her partner.
Clark landed on a tropical island in the middle of the Pacific. He had been here before, but always alone.
Lois stepped out of his arms and looked around. She was in a state of shock. How could this be happening?
"Where are we?" Lois asked, in a daze.
"Out in the middle of nowhere."
Lois heard him. So many times she had heard them…him speak. Why didn't she catch on? How dumb was she not to figure it out? Lois began to feel tears welling up in her eyes. *Lois, get a grip! Don't cry!* Lois took a deep breath. She could not comprehend this at all. *I can't believe how much has changed in less than an hour.*
"Clark…or is that even your real name? I cannot believe you never told me! We've been partners for two years. I never thought…I trusted you more than anyone, Clark! ANYONE! I feel so cheated. And now.." Lois trailed off.
"Now?" Clark questioned.
Lois looked up into his eyes. They were calm, and Lois felt as if she was finally seeing ALL of Clark. She didn't know what to think. Lois felt betrayed. *How could he do this to me?* Not able to stop, Lois began to sob uncontrollably.
"Lois, please don't cry," Clark said as he wiped Lois' tears away. "I wanted to tell you, so much. But you would have become a target. If people saw us together all the time, they would know that they could use you to get to me. If anyone found out about us, or me, I knew that I would never get what I have always dreamed of. A normal life and a family. From the second I saw you, I knew that I wanted you to be part of my dream. But I couldn't just fly around as Clark and still lead a normal life. So I created Superman, that way I could help people and still have a regular life. But then, you rejected me as Clark and fell madly in love with Superman. That's when, well, things got complicated. I felt torn, like I really was two people. I thought I could love you as Superman and just be your best friend as Clark. But I couldn't, Lois, it didn't work that way because I couldn't stop loving you. I have loved you since I first set my eyes on you, and I know that I always will, no matter what," Clark poured out his feelings for Lois. Might as well come completely clean. Clark glanced over at Lois. She looked so hurt, and that made Clark's heart ache. Pain was not something he was used to.
Lois heard him, but was too busy looking at him to hear what he said. His expression was so sad, and she wished…at that instant, Lois recognized how much Clark, all of him, really meant to her. She really didn't care who he was. She knew that he was kind and caring. She knew that he love her, and while he was the strongest man in the world, she could make him feel pain. He has always loved her, too much to try anything. Clark respected her, more than anyone else. But Lois was more afraid now of getting hurt. The man who had saved her life so many times could hurt her more than anyone.
"Oh, Clark," Lois said, sighing, "I need time to think. About this," she continued, gesturing to the now- famous red and blue costume, "and about us. Can you take me back to my apartment?" Lois' mind was telling her to get away from Clark and never look back, but she couldn't. She needed him.
"OK, Lois," Clark agreed, picking her up.
There was silence as they flew back to Metropolis, back to real life. Lois knew what she was thinking, but she was too scared to say anything, now that Clark had told her how she felt.
Clark knew that Lois was thinking about the whole Superman bit; he had to admit that it was a lot to digest. He let her think, Clark didn't want to hurt her more than he already had. She needed time. They flew over the city to Lois' apartment.
Clark set Lois down just inside her window. "Lois," he began, but Lois quieted him.
"Clark, still meet me here tonight at seven. Please," Lois pleaded.
"See you then," Clark wanted to say more, but he just couldn't. He was afraid to say something that might make her angry. He flew out the window, leaving Lois to sit and think.
Lois walked over to her couch and sat down to absorb what had transpired. He was Superman, she could accept that. Clark would never do anything that would intentionally hurt her. But, just the same, as Lois began to open up, just like clockwork, she had gotten hurt, even if Clark hadn't meant for it to happen. Lois pictured Clark in her head. She and Clark belonged together. Lois knew that she needed to forget that she had once again let herself get hurt. Lois loved and respected Clark. But did she trust him? Lois wasn't so sure anymore. If Clark had lied to her once, he could just as easily do it again. But while Lois knew that, she couldn't think of facing tomorrow without Clark right by her side. She needed him, just like he needed her. But right now, what Lois needed was to relax. *Maybe a bubble bath would help.* Lois got up and went to the bathtub.
While in the bath, Lois thought about how nice it would be to have someone to share things with. Lois knew precisely what to do, granted that Clark still wanted her.
Lois got out and began dressing. She put on gray sweatpants and a white t- shirt. Lois knew that she did not have to impress Clark or pretend to be something she wasn't. Clark DID love her, just the way she was. Considering the way she had treated him in the past, she felt lucky that he had stuck around.
At seven, Lois heard a knock on the door. She opened the door; this was it.
Clark stood there in a black T-shirt. *He looks so great, how am I ever going to concentrate on what I need to say?* Lois thought that she should tell him something, but the day's events came back to her in a rush.
"Lois, can I come in?" Clark asked. *Lois sure is acting strange, not that I can blame her.*
"Clark! Oh, come in, right," Lois led Clark to the couch and they sat down. Lois stared at him. He was so… Lois snapped back, realizing that Clark was sitting there, waiting for Lois to say something. It was time.
"Look, Clark, Superman, um.." Lois paused. She had such a great speech planned about how she needed him, how her life was nothing before he was in it. Instead, she just sat there, practically drooling.
"Lois," Clark began, "it's me, Clark. Superman is just, like a job. I am Clark."
Lois butted in, knowing that if she didn't say what she needed to, she would never work up the courage to say it again. "Clark, lately, even before today, I've been thinking. About you. More specifically, about you and me. About how alone I was without you, and how lucky I am to be with someone like you. To be your best friend. And how…" Lois trailed off. She knew what she was doing, chickening out, that's what. *Lois, you can say it. Don't be scared.*
"Lois, let me say something," Clark said gently, "I was always alone, except for my parents. But since I met you, I've felt complete, fulfilled. Like finally, I know where I belong. Here. I love you, Lois.:"
Lois' eyes filled up with tears. Clark slowly reached up and brushed away her tears.
"Lois, you know I can't stand to see you cry," Clark whispered.
"Oh, Clark, "Lois said, "I need you. I'd be lost without you. I…I love you." Lois drew back. "You changed me, my whole way of thinking. All I did was work, until you came along. You are everything to me." Lois' heart was pounding; both she and Clark could hear it. Clark ran his fingers through her hair. She looked up into his eyes and she knew. Knew that they would always be together.
"Clark…" Lois whispered, trailing off as he leaned in.
Not being able to restrain herself any longer, Lois threw her arms around Clark as he kissed her, softly at first, and then with more intensity.
"Lois, I promise that I will never, ever keep a secret from you again"
"You better not, farm boy, or you'll have to pay the price," Lois said, giggling.
"This one!" Lois exclaimed, kissing Clark again.
Clark laughed happily. "In that case, Lois, I have a lot I need to tell you."
"We've had enough conversation for tonight, Clark," Lois whispered.