By Emily Jerome (LnCAGCRulz@aol.com)
Summary: A slow news month, a string of vicious e-mails from an anonymous heckler, and — worst of all — a personal tragedy leave Lois feeling hopeless. Can Clark turn her around?
Yet another one of my stories. :-) This one is kinda' different from the rest. Finally, I have written something WAFFy. I'm so proud!! Also, this has WHAMs in it. Don't get mad. Major WHAMs. I got tons of letters when I killed Lois and Clark off in my first story, so I'm afraid with this one too. :0) Everything works out in the end. I really felt like writing tonight, so I did. I'm not sure how I got this idea, it came to me suddenly with a flash of white light! Okay, maybe not, but it sounded good. Also, I finally found a way to put an Amy Grant song in my piece. <g> Three of them, actually!
I know that it kinda' sounds like another fanfic, but it is different. I didn't mean it to, it just did. Like I said, it has lots of WAFFs and WHAMs, but that's 'bout it. WAFFs, WHAMs, and music… my life story. <g> Don't go looking for an a plot in here, there isn't one. It takes place second season right before dating.
The characters belong to DC Comics. The show belongs to DC, December 3rd, and WB. Nothing is mine 'cept for the actual story. If you want to use this somewhere, please ask first. Comments are welcome and greatly appreciated!! Then again, you know that already. :)
I wrote this on October 5 and 6 (late at night again). The night before the big wedding!! I'm a little excited, so here is the proof. Also, this story takes place early second season. (For exact dates, check Lois' e-mail. :-)
This is dedicated to Beth Underwood; the daughter of a friend. This friend, Mrs. Underwood, worked at my elementary school and we became friends. Beth died in a car crash, the same one described in this story, Monday, September 30, 1996. She was only 17.
Lois sat at her desk trying to think of what to do. It had been a slow news day — a slow news month, actually. She had always believed that good stories had to be found, that they just didn't fall from the sky. She had found a few this month, but nothing good. Now she had nothing to do. Nothing at all. She didn't even have an idea for an idea in the back of her mind… she hated feeling useless!! Finally, she had given up. She was sick of searching for stories, even the ones she found weren't good. If something newsworthy were to occur it would have to fall in her lap this time. She decided to check her e-mail instead. Only one message was waiting for her.
Date: 94-10-15 16:27:32 EDT
Face it, Lane. You are useless. Just get used to it — you are not needed. You waste everyone's time by being here.
This was not what Lois needed to hear, especially at a time like this. She stared at the screen, closed the e-mail, and sighed. She got letters like this one a lot — usually angry, jealous, or annoying colleagues. Nothing new. It was nearly six o'clock so she decided to ask Perry if she could leave. He gave her the go ahead… he was planing on leaving soon himself.
Clark was on his way out too and he asked her if she could give him a ride home. She quickly obliged, longing to be with someone for some amount of time. There was just this feeling inside that she couldn't shake. Maybe if Clark was with her it would help take her mind off this feeling.
After getting in the car Lois asked Clark if he would be interested in stopping for something to eat. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought it may be different - - something to do. That's what I hate about nights when there is no story to be written… nothing to do."
Clark gladly accepted although he had a feeling something was wrong with Lois. He was smart enough to keep his mouth shut and not lead on that he knew anything. If it was something she wanted him to know she would make it known. Until then he shouldn't worry about it. Lois was a big girl and could solve her own problems.
Dinner was a quiet one. Because of the lack of news they had been experiencing they couldn't' talk about their stories. Work was the main point in both of their lives so with that door closed there was no escape.
Clark felt almost guilty for the lack on conversation. He started something by talking about the weather and such. Lois would comment with a sound in her voice that meant that that was a pointless topic and she wasn't going to waste her time or her voice on it any longer.
After dinner Lois still had that feeling… she needed something to take her mind off of it. She invited Clark over to her apartment to watch a movie and once again he accepted. If Lois didn't want something she wouldn't ask for it just to 'be nice.' She wanted him there and he had no problem with that at all. They stopped to pick up a movie and went to Lois' apartment.
As Clark popped the tape into the VCR he felt he had to say something to Lois about whatever it was that was eating at her. As he sat down on the sofa he said quietly "Lois, is everything alright?" He was afraid of making her mad — comments and questions such as this one tended to do so, but he just HAD to say something before he lost is sanity.
She also responded quietly — she wasn't mad as she had expected herself to be. "Yeah. I mean, I think so." As she said this she realized that it was Clark, she had nothing to be afraid of. She talked just as she would about anything else. "I just have this feeling. It's odd. It's like I know something is going to happen but I don't know exactly what or how to change it. It will be something that will change me forever." That's all she said… somehow talking had made her realize more of what she was feeling. Instead of growing comfort in what she had just told Clark it made her more nervous. Something that would change her forever?
This concerned Clark, but he didn't know how to respond. Hopefully that was all it was — a feeling.
Again they sat in silence, this time thinking about what Lois had said. At the end of the movie Lois and Clark said their good-byes and Clark was off. After Clark left Lois checked her e-mail once more. Once again she had one message.
Date: 94-10-16 0:31:26 EDT
Why are you still here? Your life is pointless, there is no reason to be here. You would not be missed. Just leave us so that we can accomplish our dreams.
It was another one. Tonight she was too tired to think anything of it, but it still haunted her dreams and nightmares. He wouldn't go away — maybe he had a point.
The next morning when Lois arrived at the Daily Planet Clark was already sitting at his desk thinking about what to write. She said hi to him and went off to her respective desk to do the same. Both wrote small pieces to waste their time until noon.
Lois also checked her e-mail a few times. She continued to get letters such as the ones she had been getting. Three of them. She began to wonder if they were right; if she should just do as this person wanted. Stories hadn't been written and it seemed that was all that she had been good for.
At noon they walked to the deli down the street and grabbed a sandwich. Together they took a walk in the park enjoying the quiet and each other's company. Even during this time Lois couldn't help but think of these letter she had been receiving. Just as quickly as they had started appearing, Lois pushed the thoughts out of her mind. When the stories were slow it got to be boring but it sure had it's benefits.
When they got back to the Daily Planet Perry called Lois into his office. She figured, or rather hoped, that it was some big story waiting to be written. It was the tone of his voice that set her off, though. It was a sound of sadness, grief, and most of all, confusion.
"Lois, I have some bad news." Lois just looked into Perry's eyes… looking for some hint of what was going on. This was what that feeling had been about, she just knew it. It wasn't good as she had hoped. After waiting for what seemed like an eternity Lois gave Perry a look telling him to get on with it. "I don't know exactly how to say this, so I'll just get right to the point. This morning your sister was killed in a car crash. She was on her way home with a friend who survived. It seems that she didn't suffer much." Lois just looked at her boss with wide eyes, unable to believe what she had just heard. "I suggest that you go home and take a few days off. I'm really sorry." With this Lois stood up from the chair she was sitting in, turned around, and walked out the door, directly to the elevator, stopping quickly at her desk to pick up her things.
"Lois? Lois, are you alright?" Clark could tell by the way Lois was acting that something was wrong — very wrong. She was nearly to the elevator by now and he hadn't seen her blink once after exiting Perry's office. "Lois?" He ran after her, afraid of what she could do to herself. She continued out to her car with Clark at her heals. He got in the passenger side of her Jeep. She just stared at him.
"She's dead." The only words Lois could get out. "My God, she's dead."
"Who's dead? Lois, please tell me!" It was obvious to Clark that Lois needed someone now… to help her sort through her emotions.
"My sister is dead. My only sister is dead. MY SISTER IS DEAD!!! LUCY DIED!!!!!" Finally it clicked in. Lois' sister was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. She had never felt so helpless in her life. "MY SISTER IS DEAD!!! SHE DIED!!! SHE'S DEAD!! She's dead!! She's dead! She's dead." She ended by sobbing on Clark's shoulder. She didn't know what to do.
"It's alright. Just calm down. Come over to the passenger's side… I'm driving you home."
It was too much for Lois to bear. She just went along with what Clark was saying. After getting into the other side of the car she said, "It's not alright. Clark, my only sister is dead."
To this Clark had no response. He just drove her home. After arriving to her house he tucked her in bed and stayed in her living room over night.
Around three in the morning Lois woke yelling Clark's name. He came in, surprised to hear her call, but eager to help. "Clark, she's really dead, isn't she?"
While Lois had been asleep he had talked to Perry and gotten all the info. Perry had been surprised to hear Clark pick up, but didn't ask any questions. He just figured that fate had finally found them. "Yes Lois, she's really dead. I am so sorry — I really wish I could relate."
"No you don't, Clark. This feeling is unbelievable, unbearable. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy, let alone you. She was the only sister I had, Clark; my only sibling. The one person I could trust completely — the only person that knew me as well as I knew myself."
Clark just looked at her, unable to say anything. He really couldn't relate, but even the thought of losing someone close to him was hard to stand. He couldn't imagine what she must be feeling.
Lois looked at him; searching for a go ahead. In his eyes she could see that he may be grasping the concept. She felt she had no one else that she could share this with and that Clark was a ready and willing volunteer. "While mom and dad were fighting we could always confide our thoughts in each other; cry on each other's shoulder. I could go to her to complain about anything — our parents, school, teachers, boys. She would always understand. The only person who ever has."
"Lois." It was all he had to say, but it spoke volumes. It was all that was needed. Lois cried on his shoulder for awhile before falling asleep again.
The next morning Clark called the Daily Planet to let them know that neither he nor Lois would be in today. Lois was still sound asleep. Clark decided to go 'make his rounds' since he hadn't been able to the night before.
Just as he was taking his time on his way home he heard a few chilling screams come from Lois. He rushed to her apartment and spun into his Clark clothes. She had been calling for Clark. Not Superman, Clark. Just the thought comforted him, especially when he started to think of how she had been treating him lately.
When Clark entered Lois' room she asked for the details of Lucy's death. He explained that Lucy and a friend were on their way home from a concert. Something had happened and the car was hit and rolled. Lucy's friend who had been driving got out and Lucy un-buckled her seatbelt. Suddenly another car hit them and Lucy was killed instantly. As Clark finished his story Lois asked to be taken to the small bridge where the highway went over the river. Not knowing her intuition, Clark did as she asked.
Standing at the edge Lois yelled to Clark, "Clark, just remember that you were a very important part of my life and I will miss you more than anything when I am gone." At this time it finally clicked in to Clark ("duh!" <G>) what Lois' plans were. He ran over to her grabbing onto her shoulders, preventing her from jumping.
"Lois!! You can't do this!! Why do you even want to?!?!?" Clark yelled over the wind of the early morning.
Lois turned around in Clark's grip, looking him right in the eye. "You said it yourself — you wouldn't understand. I just lost one of the most important things to me, Clark. Someone out there thinks I am useless. My life just isn't worth living any more!! I haven't even gotten to write stories for a month. It's over, Clark. Like I said, I'll miss you."
"Lois, you aren't jumping. Come with me."
She followed, shocked at what he had said. This had to have been something that Clark really believed in for him to be so straight forward.
After Clark had gotten both himself and Lois in the car he locked the doors and drove off to a small, empty park. Finally stopping he unbuckled his seatbelt and looked at Lois with an expectant look in his eye. "Would you like to tell me what that was all about?"
"I told you, Clark. There is no point of me being here anymore. My friend, my confident, my sister is dead. I can't write. There is just no point."
Clark's tape player in the background (it was his tape — Lois' tape player) started playing a song. Lois, not wanting to further elaborate just listened. Clark, not wanting to respond just yet, knowing what song was playing and wanting Lois to hear, kept his mouth shut as well.
"I saw you walking by yourself Your eyes were crying out for help I know you feel your pain is more Than anyone's been hurt before I know love hurts when it's over If you wanna' cry it's alright You're like a fallen solider But you can't just lay down and die "You've got to remember You're not alone in this world Always remember You're not alone in this world "The moment that I looked at you I recognized the killing truth You really think there's no way out But if you let me, I can help you now Through all these shattered emotions There's a lesson to learn So come on let me hold you closer Love can soothe what love has burned "You've got to remember You're not alone in this world Always remember You're not alone in this world You've got to remember Never alone, never alone, never, never alone "I got to tell you now baby Through these shattered emotions There's a lesson to learn So come on let me hold you close because Love can soothe what love has burned "You've got to remember You're not alone in this world Always remember You're not alone in this world "You've got to remember (got to remember) You're not alone in this world Always remember (always remember) You're not alone in this world You've got to remember (got to remember) You're not alone in this world Always remember (always remember) You're not alone in this world You've got to remember"*
Somehow that song pulled something in Lois. She knew that she had to stay.
As the song closed, Clark asked a simple, an important, question. "Who is someone? Do you know who doesn't want you alive?"
"No, I don't know him. I've just been getting e-mail. From someone called For Me To Know. The To is like the number, though."
"Lois, we get lots of letters like these. Why was it this one that almost put you over the edge, though?"
"I'm not sure exactly. I think it's just a combination of everything lately."
"I understand. If you are ready to go home, I'm going to take you. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, that's fine. I think I could just use some sleep. Homeward!" Lois smiled for the first time since learning of her sister's death.
Clark walked Lois to her door and walked toward home, leaving Lois with firm knowledge that he was on call to her 24/7 and that she MUST live.
Around six at night Clark hadn't heard from Lois yet and was worried. Actually, he wasn't. He had something on his mind and he just couldn't hold it in any longer.
Lois sat at home staring at the red phone. She had something that she had to talk to Clark about… but she was afraid to.
Suddenly, the phone rang. Lois answered it in full realization who is at the other end. "Hi Clark. I was just about to call you."
"Uh… hi. Lois, how did you know it was me?"
"I just knew."
"Oh. Well, we really need to talk."
"That's exactly what I was thinking. How soon can you be here?"
"About ten minutes?"
"Sounds great! See you then!!"
Clark could get to Lois' in about 10 seconds, leaving him a few minutes before he had to leave. He really would have liked to come as soon as he heard her voice, but he didn't want to give anything away. As he glanced at the clock he saw that he had ample time to leave and pick up flowers for Lois on the way.
Standing at Lois' doorway, Clark was as nervous and anxious as a young boy on his first date, and yet completely at ease. As Lois opened the door he handed her a single rose. She looked at it, looked at him, and gave him a smile. He heard the soft strains of Hope Set High in the background. He knew that those first lines fit him exactly tonight.
"I've got my hope set high That's why I came tonight I need to see the truth I need to see the light"**
After closing the door behind them Clark was the first to speak. "Lois, I don't want to be pushy or rude, but ARE YOU BLIND?!?! Can't you see what's going on between us?"
"No Clark, I am not blind. At least not any more. I now realize what is between us and I am ready to live it. I also realize who you are, Superman."
"You aren't? You do? You know? You aren't mad??"
"Nope, yes, yes, and nope." Lois said with a smile on her face.
Once again a song played in the background as Lois and Clark just looked at each other's souls through their eyes.
"In the year of fourteen ninety-two When Columbus sailed the ocean blue Had he landed on India's shore You might never have come to knock on my door "Who needs a rhyme or a reason This dream was made to find So I know that I must follow Ask me just how much I love you You are starlight, I'm Galileo Even on the darkest night oh I will find the shining light of our love "Through the rain clouds thundering nights Mr. Franklin stood there holding his kite He as crazy always pressing his luck But he got what he wanted when lightning struck, yeah "Who needs a rhyme or a reason This dream was made to find So I know that I must follow Ask me just how much I love you You are starlight, I'm Galileo Even on the darkest night oh I will find the shining light of our love "Ask me just how much I love you You are starlight, I'm Galileo Even on the darkest night oh I will find the shining light of our love "I believe in you and the special love we could share And maybe one day darling you'll turn around And all I know is I'll be there "Who needs a rhyme or a reason This dream was made to find So I know that I will follow Ask me just how much I love you You are starlight, I'm Galileo Even on the darkest night oh I will find the shining light I will find the shining light of our love "Ask me just how much I love you I'm Galileo Even on the darkest night oh I will find the shining light of our love Ask me just how much I love you I'm Galileo"
And finally they kissed and they both found what they had been looking for all their lives — the meaning of life.
*You're Not Alone Written by Dennis Morgan, Simon Climie and Rob Fisher Recorded by Amy Grant on her 1991 release, Heart In Motion (Copyright 1991 A&M Records) Copyright 1990 Little Shop of MorganSongs Used without permission **Hope Set High Written by Amy Grant Recorded by Amy Grant on her 1991 release, Heart In Motion (Copyright 1991 A&M Records) Copyright 1991 Age To Age Music, Inc. Used without permission
Galileo Written by Amy Grant, Mimi Vemer, Gardner Cole, and Michael Omatian Recorded by Amy Grant on her 1991 release, Heart In Motion (Copyright 1991 A&M Records) Copyright 1991 Age To Age Music, Inc. Used without permission