By Jenny Andrasko <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Submitted January 16, 1998
Summary: Distressed that he can't win Lois, Lex calls Nigel for help.
This little story is a take-off on "My Best Friend's Wedding". Enjoy!
I'm only a junior in high school, so my writing abilities aren't perfect.
Metropolis was a busy place today. Crime and mayhem was running rampid in the city. Superman had his work cut out for him. Also, wherever he was, so was Lois, covering the story as usual.
Right behind her was Lex, equally competing for her attention. So far he was unsuccessful. At wit's end, he was hopeless. He was fresh out of ideas. He decided to call the one person whom he knew could help: Nigel.
"Nigel, you've got to help me! I need Lois! She's the only thing I care about!" cried Lex into his cell phone.
"What's the matter, sir?" he answered.
"How do I get her attention?" asked Lex.
"What are you doing?" inquired Nigel.
"Chasing Lois!" he confirmed.
"Who is she chasing?"
"Her story … Superman."
"Who is he chasing?"
"The bad guy … of course."
"And who may I ask is chasing after you?"
Lex stopped what he was doing and looked behind him. "No one … "
"Exactly, sir, no one. Let it go, she does not want you!"
"NO!!!!!, I have money, power and prestige! What else could she want!
"A man with personality and super powers," Nigel said under his breath.
And Lex went on with his very lonely life.