The Absent-Minded Superhero

By Misty Ellison <>

Rated PG

Submitted March 1999

Summary: The author confesses "nothing" is sacred in this light-hearted jab at our superhero.

This is a short fanfiction that I thought would be interesting to post. I'm going to warn you, nothing is sacred. This idea was given to me by two of my best friends, Amber and Becky. I hope you enjoy it!


It was morning in the Kent household. Lois and Clark were in the kitchen.

"Clark, where are you?" Lois asked Clark with a hint of panic in her voice.

"Right here honey. " Clark put on his glasses and Lois sighed with relief.

"Clark, quit scaring me like that."

"I thought you were used to seeing me without glasses."

"I am. At least, I think I am."

Clark smiled at her and went to the fridge to get some orange juice. Lois looked over at him and told him that his cape was sticking out of his pants.

He tucked the cape in and then realized he had his red boots on. He supersped upstairs and put the right shoes on then supersped back down. He saw Lois sitting at the kitchen table and immediately wished that they didn't have to go to work that morning. He began staring at her and eventually, she felt his eyes on her.

"What are you looking at?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"You." Clark stepped closer and then yelled "DUCK!"

Flames of desire burst from his hands and eyes and Lois ducked just in time. She crawled from under the kitchen table and headed towards the fire extinguisher. She sprayed the flames and they subsided. After the flames were gone, Clark would not look at Lois for anything.

"Clark, honey, you can look at me. But insurance won't cover everything when you look at me like that."

"Sorry. I guess you just light me on fire, honey."

Lois slapped him in the head. Hard.