Oh, Mann!

By Karen Ward <ward8120@mach1.wlu.ca>

Summary: What did Jimmy see when he interrupted Lois and Clark's "little interlude" during the episode "Super Mann"? Read on to find out!

I'd like to extend a special thanks to anonymous5658, who provided the inspiration, as well as my favourite line of dialogue for this vignette. And, on top of all that, she even let me persuade her to edit this little beast. Thanks, Moonsy! :)

The idea for this little vignette came to me when I watching the episode "Super Mann" for the umpteenth time, and noticed a little something at the tail end of a particular scene that I'd never noticed before. I just about fainted when, after Jimmy Interruptus had struck L&C again, Clark surreptitiously zipped up his pants (and it was *very* surreptitious, or else I imagine I would have noticed it and died laughing the first thousand times I watched that ep <g>). Anyhow, it led me to wondering what exactly did Jimmy see, and what was he thinking when he interrupted Lois and Clark from their 'little interlude' during Super Mann? Read on to find out.

This story picks up somewhere in the middle of Super Mann, immediately following Jimmy's second exit from Lois's apartment.


Jimmy pulled the door closed behind him and took a moment to stand in shock outside Lois's apartment. Had he really seen what he thought he'd seen?

Nah, it couldn't be, Jimmy reassured himself as headed out of Lois's building.

But he couldn't help replaying the scene in his head over and over. And each time his memory reviewed the event, he couldn't erase, or even alter, the picture of what he'd seen.

Earlier that evening, after Lois and Clark had enlisted his research assistance, he had managed to dig up some some info on bomb threats, robberies and a few other miscellaneous crimes. He had been eager to take his findings to Lois's in order to share them with her and Clark. He'd been so anxious that, on his first trip to Lois's, he'd completely forgotten to tell them about a particular string of burglaries in which all the perpetrators had spoken German. He'd realized this on his way home, and he hadn't thought twice about heading straight back to Lois's.

As he'd approached Lois's building for the second time, the sight of emergency lighting up the street had alarmed him. He'd rushed up to Lois's apartment, worried about his friends' well-being. Given their track record, anything could have happened in just the short time he'd been gone.

He'd been so worried, in fact, that it hadn't crossed his mind that he might interrupt something between the newly engaged couple. Despite Lois's reassurances to the contrary, it only took a few seconds in her apartment to realize that he'd most definitely interrupted 'something' — something more than he usually walked in on.

When Lois had first opened the door, he'd thought nothing of Clark's unbuttoned cuffs, and Lois's disheveled appearance. However, as the excitement of sharing his research had subsided enough for him to take note of his surroundings, he'd nearly choked when he saw that Clark had been … flying low!

Fortunately for Jimmy's comfort, Clark had acted as if nothing unusual had happened — as if having to zip up his fly in public was an ordinary occurrence. Jimmy knew better than that, though. Clark Kent, all-American boy scout, was not a sloppy dresser, and the circumstances didn't seem to point to Clark merely "forgetting something" on the way out of the bathroom. His first thought had been "Way to go, C.K.!" and he'd almost voiced that opinion aloud, but what he'd seen next brought all his reasoning to a screeching halt.

"It couldn't have been red spandex!" Jimmy repeated to himself for what must have been the millionth time.

But, as the image repeatedly flashed though his mind, he couldn't deny what he'd seen. The red material had reflected the light in the unmistakable way that spandex did.

"Oh, man! Why would C.K. be wearing spandex underwear?" And here he'd thought Clark was just a straight-up, mild-mannered farmboy from Kansas. "You think you know a guy." Jimmy shook his head and sighed. He'd respected Clark. He might even venture to say that he'd idolized the man … but red spandex! "Man, I'm never gonna shake hands with C.K. again!"

As Jimmy walked up the sidewalk, unconsciously following the streets back to his apartment, he decided to take a more pragmatic approach to this particular dilemma. After all, that's what Lois and Clark would do, right?

Since he didn't think Clark to be the spandex wearing type, at least not under his work clothes, he decided that there must be a logical explanation for what he'd seen.

So, why would C.K. be wearing red spandex?

Jimmy began by mentally listing any articles of clothing that might be made of similar material. A ski suit was automatically ruled out since there was no place to ski near Metropolis — not at this time of year, at least. A Speedo? Maybe Lois and Clark had planned to go swimming later? Jimmy shook his head as he waved that explanation aside. He knew Lois and Clark had planned to work on their story all night — they wouldn't have asked him to bring the research if they hadn't. Jimmy didn't think Clark was the type to wear a Speedo, anyway — or red spandex, for that matter. And they wouldn't wear their business suits over their bathing suits … would they? Nah.

The next thought Jimmy had was that it could have been red running tights. Clark was obviously in good shape, and he had to have a way of getting that way. Perhaps he'd been planning to go the gym right after work, and got sidetracked by the story? But, again, Jimmy couldn't accept that explanation. Clark wouldn't wear his gym clothes under his business suit. He'd at least carry them in a gym bag, or even his brief case, and change in the locker room at the gym. No, Jimmy didn't think Clark had been planning to work out. Come to think of it, he didn't think he'd ever seen Clark break a sweat, let alone exercising!

So, what else did that leave? What kind of outfit consisted of red spandex briefs?

Then enlightenment struck. Superman! Superman wore red spandex briefs! Jimmy stopped in his tracks and grinned hugely. He knew there would be a logical explanation — Superman was why C.K. had been wearing red spandex under his clothes!

He began to chuckle at the repercussions of this realization. Obviously, Clark would do anything for Lois, but, still, he didn't think C.K. would go that far! "Geez," Jimmy said to himself, "love really does do strange things to a man!"

It'd been apparent since Superman first appeared that Lois was attracted to him. She'd thrown herself at him for almost two whole years while poor C.K. had waited, painfully, in the wings — which made it all the more unbelievable that he'd do this for her now that he'd finally won her.

Clearly, Lois still had her Superman fantasy, and she'd convinced Clark to act it out for her. Jimmy cringed when he realized that he must have walked in on them in the middle of it. They both must have wanted to strangle him right about that time.

He shook his head again, marveling at what poor guys like Clark would do in the name of love. But then he couldn't deny the fantasies he'd had about Lois. He'd even confessed them when he and Lois had been on the verge of being barbecued by lightning thanks to Larry Smiley's storm making contraption. Luckily, after Superman had rescued them, Lois had been gracious enough to forget all about it, letting him off the hook without even a struggle. He was going to have to do the same for her. He wasn't even going to let her know that he knew about it.

Another grin broke his face when he thought of the lengths Clark was willing to take for Lois. Yep, he figured, I'd do the same thing if I were C.K. What guy wouldn't?