Reflections

By SinginDrew <SinginDrew@aol.com>

Rated G

Submitted June 2000

Summary: A delightful alternate ending for the episode "The House of Luthor." Where did Lois go after her interrupted wedding to Lex? Let's suppose Clark had taken matters into his own hands.

***

Lois stared into the mirror. She questioned the huge decision she was about to make. She knew marriage was the right step for her. It was the next step. Her career was going great; well, it was until her office got blown up.

But Lex had found her an even better job working at his television station. She was writing the stories for the newscaster which was very exciting work. She got to create the news as it happened. It left no time for investigating which was generally her favorite part, but if she couldn't work for the Daily Planet, she didn't want to work for any newspaper.

So here she was, on her wedding day, staring at herself in the mirror, wondering if life was supposed to work out this way. She was marrying the most powerful man in the world. A man who was charming, charismatic, handsome, suave, debonair, and who loved her. What more could a girl ask for? She wasn't sure if she loved him, but love was nothing but a fairy tale nowadays anyway. The man she thought she loved didn't reciprocate her feelings. She might as well marry Lex and enjoy the lifestyle and the new realm she was about to enter.

Lois looked into the mirror once more. She tried to envision herself hosting Lex's gala events, his dinner parties, his philanthropic affairs. She saw herself sitting at the head of the table in an elegant black evening gown, sipping champagne from Waterford crystal flutes. She saw the gold-plated dishes she was eating from as well as the satin and lace tablecloth. Everything was perfectly exquisite. Lois looked across the table and into the eyes of the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. She saw his glowing brown eyes, his luxurious dark hair, and his crooked smile-

"Clark?!" Lois shouted.

"What was that dear?" her mother asked her absently as she adjusted her daughter's dress.

"Oh, nothing," Lois said, so as not to worry her mother.

How on Earth could she see Clark? She was supposed to be envisioning her life when it was perfect and she was happy, and here she was picturing Clark. Yes, she did miss having him in her life. He was her support, her best friend; he pushed her to her limits but was always there with a lifeline when she went too far. But where was he now? He was supposed to support her. Why couldn't he support her on this big important occasion in her life?

Because he loved her. He had told her so only days before. But she told him she didn't share his feelings. Wasn't she telling the truth? As far as she knew, she was. She would never knowingly lie to Clark. Well, at least not without feeling extremely guilty.

And now, as she gazed at the confused image staring back at her, she wondered if she made the wrong choice.

"Lois Lane-Luthor." Lois didn't like the sound of that.

"Lois Luthor-Lane." She tried that and realized how bad it sounded as well. The tears streamed down her face.

"Lois Lane." She said dismally. The thought struck her: if she didn't marry Lex, she'd be alone. Again. Being alone wasn't all that bad. She had her work and her friends. *All of whom are gone now.* Lois sobbed even more. The thought of not having Perry or Jimmy or even Cat around made her even more miserable. They were her family and now they were gone. Even Clark. Not a single one of her so-called friends was coming to her wedding. They were against it from the start. *But they don't know Lex like I do. They don't know his caring, giving side.* Lois wasn't really sure she knew that side of him, but she couldn't back out now. There were too many people expecting her to marry him. Counting on her marrying him. She couldn't let all those people down. But what about Perry and Jimmy and Clark? By marrying Lex, wasn't she letting them down? They were the ones who really mattered. They were the ones whose opinions actually mattered to Lois.

"Lois Lane," she said again dejectedly. But then a thought occurred to her.

"Kent."

"Lois Lane-Kent."

Lois' sobbing quieted down some. At that moment she knew.

She loved Clark.

She took a moment and let that thought register. Her mind was swirling. Everything was different now that she knew she loved Clark. But he was gone. She had lost him. He had told her he loved her and she pushed him away. And for what? For who? Lex? Superman?

Superman. Her fantasy man. Deep down she knew he was a fantasy and someone she could never have. Not that it stopped her from trying. But after she told him she loved him, he let her know there could never be anything between them. Lois was so hurt and angry and upset she ran into Lex's open arms. She didn't have to worry about being hurt by Lex. She didn't really love him. But he was safe. If she didn't open her heart to him, he could never hurt her. But then she'd be living a lie.

"Lois Lane."

Lois' shoulders slumped over as her body wracked with sorrow. Her tears enveloped her whole being. Her thoughts were only of how horrible she had been to the one man who had truly loved her. She pushed him away and then ran into the arms of another man. If she were in his position, she would have left the country. But she wasn't in his position; she was in her position. About to marry a man she didn't love, without any friends, and stuck in her soon-to- be husband's world.

"It's time to go dear," Lois heard her mother say.

"But Mom… " Lois looked for comfort from her mother, but realized her mother was never able to give that. Only one person had ever given that to her, but he wasn't there. And she needed Clark there.

*But he's not here, and right now, Lex is,* Lois thought bitterly at first, but then changed the thought to hope. Maybe she could learn to love Lex. She knew she would never feel about him the way she felt about Clark. Or even Superman. But right now, Lex was her future.

Lois straightened herself up. She attempted to fix her make up and get rid of the tear-stains on her cheeks. She set her face and followed her mother out the door.

The wedding procession started. Lois looked down the narrow aisle and saw Lex smiling proudly at her. She tried to think of any happy memories she had with Lex. There were countless numbers of dinners and ballets and nights at the theater. But she couldn't remember when she ever really laughed with him.

Her thoughts suddenly flooded with images of her and Clark. She remembered his kiss when he was going to leave Metropolis. That kiss raced through her body and lingered in parts of her she didn't know existed. Her heart fluttered as his face came into view in her mind. The look in his eyes when he told her he loved her showed nothing but caring and love. Lois didn't want to continue her life without him in it.

Lois met Lex at the front of the aisle. She scarcely heard the words by the Archbishop. She heard Lex's "I do," but when it came time for her reply, no words would come. She knew what the correct answer was but she couldn't force it out. She saw Lex's expectant face and then heard the most shocking sound.

She heard herself say no. She couldn't believe it. Lex questioned her and again came that shocking sound. She heard the crowd gasp and then the doors of the chapel burst open. In stormed Perry and Jimmy followed by half of the Metropolis Police Department.

"You guys came!" Lois shouted exuberantly. She was so excited to see her friends but also noticed Clark wasn't among the wedding- crashers. She also wondered why they would show up with the police. She received her answer.

"Lex Luthor, you're under arrest," she heard the detective shout.

What happened next was all a blur. Lois remembered Lex saying goodbye to her and him racing out the door. But she couldn't remember very much of anything else. All she knew was everything was over. She didn't even have Lex anymore. And she knew she hadn't heard the last of his wrongdoings either. She caught a few of the charges thrown at Lex, but not all of them. She knew she would get the full story later. Right now her mind was racing and she knew she needed some air.

Perry noticed the color draining from her face.

"Come on darlin', let's get you out of here."

Lois blindly followed his instructions out toward the street. She stepped onto the sidewalk and was about to question Perry about the previous events when she heard him. She turned and saw Clark's worried face and knew she wanted to be in his arms.

She ran to Clark and he held her tight. He always knew what she needed and gave it to her unselfishly. How could she be such a fool and give that up? She loved the feel of his arms around her and how safe and cared for she felt. She let herself go completely in his arms. She could feel his hug envelop her and his caresses soothe her frazzled nerves.

All of a sudden their embrace was interrupted. She heard the crowd that had gathered around them gasp and all eyes flew skyward. Lois saw Lex come hurdling towards the ground but she couldn't force herself to look. She buried her face deep in Clark's shoulder. She was trying so hard to erase the sight of Lex's body pummeling toward her she even dropped her bouquet.

She felt Clark's embrace tighten and she knew it was over. Lex, as well as his empire, was officially over. His business dealings, his connections, his contracts were all now expired. She heard Perry mumble something to Clark but her mind couldn't make out any words. She was too distraught to even think. The only thought running through her mind right now was the vision of Lex. It wouldn't go away.

A few moments later, Lois and Clark crawled into a cab. All of a sudden, Lois was extremely exhausted. She leaned into Clark's shoulder and closed her eyes. Her eyes fluttered open when she felt Clark's arms wrap around her gently and carry her into his apartment. She didn't have the strength to even lift her head to smile appreciatively. He carried her into his bedroom and lay her down on his bed. He went to his dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt for her to wear. He set them on the bed next to her and silently slipped out of the room. Lois gratefully slipped out of her gown and put on the garments he set out for her.

Minutes later, Clark returned carrying a tray with two cups of tea. He handed one to Lois and sat down on the bed next to her. So far neither had said a word since seeing each other. Both sat on the bed and enjoyed each other's presence. When Lois yawned, Clark pulled back the sheets of the bed and finally spoke.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" he whispered softly as he started to back out of the room.

Lois didn't want to be alone right now. She wanted him with her. She wanted him to hold her tight and let her know everything would be okay. Especially everything between the two of them. She finally found the part of her brain that told her to speak.

"Clark! Don't leave me," she cried out.

He raced over to the bed and had her in his arms instantly. Lois finally felt the release of being in his arms while suddenly all her emotions filled her at once. Tears rolled down her cheeks as Clark held her. She felt his hands rubbing her back and smoothing her hair. She had never felt so scared. She didn't know what to do anymore. In the last hour, her whole life had been turned upside- down. An hour ago, she was on her way to marrying Lex Luthor, content to spend the rest of her life with him. Now here she was crying in Clark's arms, swaying with the rhythm of his body rocking back and forth trying to calm her down.

"I'm right here. It's gonna be okay," she heard him coo softly.

That's what she was looking for: confirmation. And she got it. But that wasn't enough anymore. Now she wanted to feel Clark's protection, his love, and his strength with her, surrounding her.

"Please stay with me," she requested from deep in his arms.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here." He ran his hand over her back once more and squeezed her tighter for emphasis. Lois took comfort in this gesture and finally let herself relax. Exhausted, she finally relented and fell asleep in Clark's arms.

Lois saw the whole scene replay in her dream over and over. She saw Lex plummet towards the Earth, each time his body getting bigger and bigger until it took up the entire sky. All Lois could see was Lex's face everywhere she turned. She looked all around her and noticed she was the only one around for miles. She screamed for help from someone, anyone. But her screams went unanswered. She found herself in her wedding gown attempting to run. Lex's ominous hand reached for her and proceeded to rip the veil from her head. He laughed as he toyed with her. Letting her run down streets only to stop her at the end of them. He finally scooped her up in his large hand. Lois then began to kick, scream, and bite at him, but to no avail. She knew he was speaking but couldn't hear his words. All she could feel was sheer terror. She felt Lex's hands on her, touching her, wanting her. She struggled from his grasp and felt herself fall. She could hear Lex's menacing laugh as she tumbled towards the ground. Her arms flailed about her as she saw the ground come racing toward her. She closed her eyes when she knew she would feel the impact of the Earth.

And then she felt the warmth. She felt his arms around her and him holding her tight. Lois opened her eyes to see herself sitting in Clark's lap on his bedroom floor. She must have fallen out of bed, but how had he caught her? She finally heard his voice.

"Lois. Lois, please wake up," he whispered worriedly.

"Clark, what happened?" she questioned softly.

"It's okay Lois. It was just a nightmare." He rocked her back and forth. Lois was lulled into calmness by the sound of his heart beating softly in his chest.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Clark suggested.

"No," Lois whispered in a feeble attempt to forget. She couldn't bear the thought of reliving that horrible nightmare. But this was Clark. She knew she would get eaten up inside if she didn't share it quickly. And Clark was the one person she wanted to share things with.

"It was Lex. He was coming for me. Chasing me. He was as big as the sky taking up everything. Everywhere I turned, he was there. I screamed for help and no one was there. I was all alone." Lois broke into tears, repeating she was all alone.

"You're not alone now, Lois. I'm here," Clark replied. He lifted head to look into her eyes.

"I'm here. Now and always, I'm here for you Lois." Lois looked deep into his eyes and knew that he meant it. But there was also something else there. She saw a cloud in his eyes she had never seen before.

"Clark? What is it?" After getting no reply, she tried again.

"I can see it in your eyes. Please tell me." She wanted to know what was troubling him. She didn't like that dark cloud that she saw. It looked like pain. She hoped she hadn't been the one to cause it, even though deep down she knew she had.

Silently, Clark led her into the kitchen and sat her down at the kitchen table. He then continued to make two cups of tea. When he was finally ready, he poised himself in the seat next to Lois, took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Lois, I almost lost you. I couldn't stand the thought of not having you in my life." He took her hands in his own and held them tight.

"You're my best friend. I can't stand to see you hurting-" Lois cut him off.

"What hurt was not having my friends with me. Not having my best friend supporting me." She saw his eyes slink down towards the table. But she knew it had to be said. She had been hurt by the actions of her friends. But, then she realized she had hurt them too by not heeding their warnings. They were looking out for her best interest and she just rebuffed their efforts. Especially Clark's.

"I had never felt so alone in my life." She paused to take a breath. "But when I saw you on the street after it was all over, I knew." She stopped suddenly, unsure of herself. Not sure if she should continue with what she had to say. If she continued, their whole relationship would change. But if she didn't, could she handle things the way they were?

"Lois, I'm sorry for what I said before. I would have said, done *anything* to stop you from marrying Luthor. And I know I shouldn't have said-" She knew where this was headed. She had to stop him before he said it, and she lost her nerve completely.

"Clark, I love you," she said simply.

"I mean it wasn't right to- what?" She heard the shock in his voice, but she also saw his eyes light up as the cloud behind his eyes began to fade.

"What did you just say?" He questioned her again.

"I said I love you." She bit her lip waiting for his response. She was incredibly scared. She opened herself up for the hurt she had blocked from her life. If he turned her down, she knew everything in her life was gone. Lex, Clark, Superman. Maybe he didn't feel the same way anymore. Maybe he really did only say it to stop her from marrying Lex. Maybe he thought she wasn't in her right mind to be saying such things. Maybe he thought-

The pressure of Clark's lips upon hers suddenly interrupted her thoughts. Lois rose up to meet the pressure and felt her heart start to race. Her head began to swim. Was this what she wanted? Is this the way she wanted things between them?

"Lois, I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry for hurting you the way I did," she heard him say in between kisses. It was then that she knew the answer to her question. Yes, she did want things this way between them.

"Oh Clark, I'm sorry too. You were right all along and I just couldn't see it. I was too stubborn and pig-headed. I almost lost you too." She started to cry. She couldn't believe her stupidity. How could she pass up this to be with Lex? Lex was nothing compared to Clark. Clark was so kind and giving, compassionate as well as strong. Lex wasn't half the man Clark was. When the fire inside of them had finally settled down, somewhat, Lois decided she needed to tell Clark.

"Clark, I said no to Lex," She admitted.

"What?" Clark asked in disbelief.

"I just couldn't. I was walking down the aisle and I saw him at the end and then I thought of you. I thought of when I first met you and when I'd almost lost you before, and I couldn't bear not being with you, having you with me everyday. God, I missed you so much." She saw the tears well up in his eyes this time. She reached over and pulled him close to her again. She wanted to feel his lips on hers again. She hoped the exciting, magnetic rush she felt whenever they touched would never end.

"I missed you too." She reached over and wiped the tears off his cheeks. Her hand caressed his cheek. She didn't want this ever to end. She wanted him to know exactly how she felt about him but only one thought would come to mind.

"Thank you, Clark," she said looking deep into his eyes.

"For what?" he asked curiously.

"For being you. And for loving me."

"Lois, I thank God everyday for bringing you into my life. You, and now your love as well," he replied. His kiss deepened and Lois felt like she had finally come home. She had never felt that feeling when she had been with Lex. Even when they would discuss the plans for their new home together. She never felt like any of it belonged to her. Everything had always belonged to Lex and she was able to borrow it all. She knew Clark would never make her feel like that. She also knew she didn't need belongings because she finally felt she belonged. And she did belong, with Clark. Forever. She settled deep into Clark's embrace and felt his kiss envelop her.

She planned to stay that way forever.

THE END