___________ WHEN FRIENDS BECOME LOVERS By Kathy Brown and Demi Rated PG-13 Released June 2000 ________________ Authors' Notes: This story begins where the second season Lois & Clark episode "That Old Gang Of Mine" leaves off. The first few pages of this story put the ending scenes of TOGOM into fanfic form -- they'll look familiar, but stick with us ... we'll get to our story very soon. :) This story has been a long time in coming, as many of you already know. It all started with a simple private message exchange on IRC -- back in January 1997! We started writing that spring, and continued in fits and starts over the next three years. We've each released several other fanfics in the meantime, but we could never forget this one. Extra special thanks go out to Wendy Richards, who edited this monster in sections, and had to suffer for months at a time over cliffhangers whose resolutions hadn't been written yet. ;) Also, many thanks to Zoomway, who contributed some dialog for a couple of early scenes -- her suggestions were invaluable in getting us over some early writer's block! And finally, to all the readers who have (subtly and not-so-subtly ) continued to ask how the story was going -- it was wonderful knowing that people were still excited about it, even after 3 years of writing! _______________ All standard disclaimers apply; the characters that appear on "Lois & Clark" do not belong to us, but the ideas in this story do. No infringement of anyone's copyright is intended. The story itself, however, is copyright (c) 2000 to the authors. _______________ WHEN FRIENDS BECOME LOVERS By Kathy Brown and Demi aka "That Old Gang of Mine 2" or "The Epic" ;) ***** Clark sighed. Well, they were gone. Perry, Jimmy, the others ... each of them saying their good-byes and leaving through the same well-used revolving doorway of the Daily Planet building. And that was just fine with him -- it left Clark alone with Lois. Well, Lois and the thirty or so police officers milling around the downstairs lobby. Tonight, however, neither Lois nor Clark was paying attention to the many uniforms brushing past them. They were simply staring -- at each other. ***** In a million years, Lois would have never imagined how incredible it could feel just to *look* at someone. But there he was. Her partner. Her best friend. Her ...was he more than that? Oh, what did it matter? He was alive! He was back! And she would never have to feel that horrible emptiness again. She would only feel the way she felt right now, so completely, totally ... happy. Lois grinned suddenly and curled one end of her hair behind an ear, self consciously looking down. The way Clark was looking at her set her heart racing inside her and took her breath away ... it was so ... ***** 'Beautiful. She's so beautiful.' Clark thought he might be smiling, but he wasn't sure. Lois always had this effect on him. Making his heart turn somersaults inside his chest while at the same time making him giddy enough to laugh out loud. God, she took his breath away every time he saw her. But tonight was different. Tonight, with his long and enveloping suit jacket wrapped stickily around her lithe form, still speckled with cement and streaked with fragments of the Planet's celebratory chocolate cake she had tossed the female half of Bonnie & Clyde into not very long ago ... she looked as enchanting as ever. Clark watched as Lois dipped her head. He noticed by the demure way she smiled that she was feeling shy about something. What that was exactly, though, he wasn't sure. Lois Lane was nothing if not unpredictable. It was a trait he knew thatshe loved about herself, and it was one of a million traits Clark secretly loved about her as well. He watched as Lois pulled the now-sticky wool suit-jacket a little tighter around her. At least it wasn't nearly as saturated as her sweater had been after Capone and his gang had decided to drop a vat of fresh concrete over her and Dr. Hamilton. Lois and Clark had been able to wipe most of the cement away, cement she'd left on his coat when she'd thrown herself into his arms. Remarkably, the garment had cleaned up well ... that is, until Lois had submerged it in butter-cream frosting. It would probably need to be tossed in the garbage tomorrow, despite their best efforts. Still, the jacket was a definite improvement over her beyond-help sweater and pants. Clark swallowed as he remembered the slick concrete-covered garments which had clung damply to every curve of her body when he'd reunited with her -- the same garments she had hastily begun to remove before getting into the passenger seat of her Jeep. He recalled how surprised he'd been when she had ducked behind the vehicle and began to disrobe. A little late, he'd turned to give Lois privacy, a task which had proven *very* difficult by the time she had worked the sticky sweater half way up her arms, the lower portion of her torso fully exposed to him and the still-white edge of her bra peeking out from underneath. He remembered how quickly he'd removed his jacket and handed it to her, allowing himself a brief glance. Even Lois had smiled at how suddenly the garment was thrust in her direction. But she had taken it, and thanked him, working her way out of a pair of equally sticky pants as soon as she was covered. Lois had been less gracious, however, when Clark had turned and started to remove his belt. Though she hadn't said a word, her eyes had widened considerably and she gave him a quick look that carried with it surprise, questioning and -- something else? Well, in his own defense, she'd needed something to keep the oversized garment from drooping open in front. Clark remembered moving towards her and tentatively sliding the long belt around and behind her, helping her into it. Lois had complied, stepping even closer to Clark so that he could pull the belt around her. For a brief moment, they had simply stayed that way, inches apart -- Clark holding both ends of the belt in his hands, Lois held close to him by the encumbrance around her waist. Clark knew it would have been so easy to have just pulled her into his arms ... so easy to have lowered his mouth to hers ... but they had each known they had to jump in the Jeep and rush to the newsroom to stop Capone and his gang from shooting up the party. It wasn't the first time that the need for Superman had kept Clark from spending time alone with Lois ... Back in the Daily Planet lobby, a slightly breathless Clark Kent slammed back to the present, suddenly noticing that Lois had once again looked up at him and was smiling shyly. He blinked in surprise, bringing himself out of his pleasant memories. She couldn't have known what he was thinking, could she? Clark straightened the cuff of his shirt sleeve self-consciously. It was still speckled with patches of the gray substance from where she had clung to him less than an hour before. He didn't think he'd ever forget the intensity of that hug. He couldn't stifle the grin that spread across his face at the memory. ***** Lois blushed a little as she glanced down at herself and then back up at her partner. Her partner. The words stuck in her head. Her best friend. She had been staring at Clark, but she just couldn't help it. Not after everything that had happened, not after she'd just gotten him back. Did he feel as confused as she did right now? Probably not. If he was one thing, he was forever ... *Clark*. And Clark didn't seem to get confused very often. Oh, he had his faults, running off at the first sign of deeper discussion being the most annoying of these as far as Lois was concerned. But he always managed to be there for her even so. Always when it mattered. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Clark's words jolted Lois out of her momentary lapse and she blinked, realizing that he'd caught her staring once again. She also realized that Clark hadn't made her feel uncomfortable for doing so. It felt so good to be with him; it was so good to have him back ... and Lois felt like they had so much to talk about ... Maybe they could find time to talk tonight. Maybe she would tell him what she'd wished she'd told him before he died. She had to find time soon, that much was for sure. Lois didn't think she could survive it if something else happened and she still hadn't told him. If there was anything that this experience had taught her, it was that 'tomorrow' was a concept that couldn't be counted on. Lois pushed down the slight shudder that threatened to overtake her at the thought. No, he *wouldn't* die, not tomorrow, not *ever*. Not if she could help it. He would live forever if she had anything to do with it. Still, he had to know. And, Lois thought while millions of tiny butterflies danced in her belly, she actually really did want to tell him. Wow. She took a deep breath. "You want a lift home?" Clark smiled his patented thousand-kilowatt smile, even though he was obviously fatigued. "Yeah, sure -- being dead really takes it out of you." "I'll bet." Lois slapped his shoulder playfully and immediately found herself in the familiar crook of her best friend's arm. A feeling of safety and of contentment washed over her as they walked through the lobby door and out into the night. ***** As Clark slipped into the enveloping leather seat of Lois's Jeep Grand Cherokee, he couldn't help but sigh in relief at the feeling of finally being able to relax. It was something he hadn't been able to do since the 'accident'. He'd spent the last two days and nights awake, constantly agonizing, racking his brain over how he could salvage his life as Clark Kent. His career, his friends ... the more he'd struggled, the more he'd realized he was completely unwilling to give any of it up. Especially the parts that allowed him to be with Lois. She was everything to him. Sometimes it would almost scare Clark when he thought about Lois and realized that, in many ways, she meant more to him than anyone else in the world. Was he betraying his mom and dad by feeling that way? Clark knew they would tell him no, that the feeling was different, natural ... but he felt helpless and somewhat frustrated when, each time he pondered the issue, the same brick wall confronted him. He was so completely in love with Lois ... yet she was so bent on friendship. Only friendship. It wasn't that he couldn't understand that. Clark thought he knew Lois better than anyone else. She could be so scared and vulnerable when her guard went down. Those rare, precious occasions when he'd actually seen her shields drop had proved this much to him already. He knew she'd been hurt in the past, and Clark never wanted to be the cause of pain for her. And so he simply returned her friendship, and resigned himself to the fact that she would never feel about him, the way he felt about her. Still, their relationship, platonic as it was, remained one of the most important things in Clark's life. And as he'd explained recently to his parents, Superman simply didn't have that kind of closeness with Lois. Thankfully, for the sake of his own sanity, he'd been able to 'save' Clark Kent. Or rather, Superman had saved Clark Kent. The irony in that fact seemed to grow, and with it, Clark's unease. Would this be another reason for Lois to idolize Superman? To ignore the "regular guy", in comparison to the hero? Clark thought he may have noticed a little less interest on Lois's part in his caped alter-ego lately, but .... Clark shook his head, trying to focus on the passing streetlights. His mind had been going around in circles so much this week, he didn't know what to think anymore. It was so confusing ... and he was so very tired. So very, very tired. ***** Lois turned the corner and looked over at her partner. He was staring out the window, seemingly hypnotized by the blurry after-images of the passing streetlights. They sat in comfortable silence, but Lois knew there were things that needed to be said. Sitting there in the darkness, driving easily through the uncrowded late-evening streets, Lois gathered her courage. "Clark, when I thought you were gone, I did some thinking about my life." Still unsure of herself, she glanced at Clark out of the corner of her eye. But Clark nodded, and, satisfied he had heard her, Lois turned her gaze back to the road. Maybe it would be easier to say this if she *didn't* see his deep brown eyes staring into her soul ... "You know," she continued, "what it would be like without you in it." A sudden feeling of nervous unease washed over her and she swallowed. No, she wouldn't back out now. Especially since she had him here beside her, so close now. He couldn't go anywhere either. There would be no running away for either of them this time and she would *make* him understand. "I know what you're thinking: 'Gee Lois, how self centered can you get?' but -- just hear me out." Lois took a deep, shaky breath and continued. "I know our relationship has always been ... difficult to define. But when I thought about how much I missed you, how much I was going to miss you for the rest of my life, I started to think that ... maybe there was more to our relationship than just ... friendship." There. Lois sighed deeply. She had said it. It was out. She waited anxiously for his response. Only Clark didn't answer. Oh, God, she *had* ruined it! He didn't feel the same way. She had done it again, made a complete fool out of herself for a man, and this time she had probably lost her best friend in the bargain. Damn; she felt like such an idiot. After a pause that seemed to last forever, Lois turned slowly. It wasn't like him to be this quiet, even if ... She swallowed and pressed her head back against her seat. He was asleep! One of the most intimate conversations she had ever allowed herself to have with him and he had just-- No, no, this was better. He hadn't heard her. That meant that she still had her best friend. Maybe another time would be better for this conversation anyway. She shook her head ruefully and smiled. "Or, maybe not." ***** Quiet enveloped the vehicle as they drove the next three blocks and Lois listened to the sound of Clark's breathing. Even and regular. Well, at least he didn't snore ... but she already knew that. One thing that being partners meant was that you were forced to spend a lot of time together. Lois didn't think she could still count on two hands the number of times they'd been on an all-nighter, staking out some bad guy's fortress or just making sure their story would be ready for the early morning edition. She always hated those really early mornings, but Clark never seemed to mind. In fact, all the times she could remember waking up in a strange room or vehicle, knowing that it was well before any normal human should be awake, Clark would always be ready -- smiling and usually bearing coffee. Lots of coffee. Lois smiled to herself. That was why they put up with each other. They each had their own faults, but they made up for them in other ways ... at least, Clark did. The soft smile left her face. 'I'm horrible to him sometimes. Why does he put up with me?' Roused from her thoughts, Lois rounded the corner and pulled up in front of the building housing Clark's loft. She turned the key in the ignition and the Jeep's quiet motor shut down, plunging them into almost complete silence. Clark was still asleep, so Lois took the opportunity to watch him. He looked almost vulnerable, sitting there with his hands folded across his lap, his face carrying an expression of extreme peacefulness. Unbidden, Lois suddenly found herself feeling very protective of him. She didn't think she had ever actually watched him sleep before. And for a reason she couldn't fathom, she found now that she almost didn't want to stop watching. But they were sitting in front of Clark's building and it was obvious that he was exhausted. *She* was exhausted as well. What a nightmare the last two days had been. Tenderly, Lois raised one hand and laid it against Clark's shoulder. "Clark?" she whispered, running her fingers half-way down to his elbow. "Clark, we're here -- you're home." Clark made a small sound and sank further into the seat next to her. 'He's so tired,' Lois empathized. She brought her hand back up and was about to try the same tactic again, but suddenly she stopped, hand poised above his shoulder. She looked at him for a moment and then cupped the same hand against his cheek, very softly tracing her thumb along his jawline, fascinated by the contradiction of his seemingly never-ending strength, juxtaposed with a special kind of vulnerability. Somehow, it all fell together, forming the man she had come to trust so deeply in the past year. How had she been so lucky to have him come into her life? "Clark?" she whispered again. Still no response. Lois sighed. She would probably have to speak more loudly. She called his name a little louder, then again, a little louder still. Clark finally jumped to attention, and Lois quickly lowered her voice back to a soft whisper so as not to alarm him further. "I'm sorry; it's just that we're home. I-- I mean, you're home. I was trying to wake you." Clark blinked a few times, then smiled a tired smile and nodded. "Thank you, Lois. I'm sorry for--" He indicated himself vaguely and Lois understood right away. "Oh, no, it's okay; you were really tired. I can relate." Unintentionally, she demonstrated by breaking into an expansive yawn, then gave a rueful shake of her head. "So ... um, goodnight." Clark looked at her, waking up more fully as he realized her hand was still on his arm. Still? She hadn't had it there before, had she? When had she ...? Clark smiled softly. "Ok ... goodnight, Lois." He turned in his seat towards the door and pulled the latch open. "Clark?" Lois's soft voice was all that it took for him to swing back around in his seat. "Yes?" Lois opened her mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. After a moment, she simply looked back down at her hands on the steering wheel, before whispering, "Goodnight, Clark." "Goodnight." The silence hung thickly in the air as Clark stared at Lois's profile and then at the way her hands were gripping the steering wheel. "Um, Lois?" This time was Lois that turned eagerly in her seat. "Yes?" "Um ... would you like to ... come in? I--I mean, just for a few minutes. We could talk." When Lois's expression turned a familiar shade of worry, Clark quickly reassured her. "It's just that we've had a pretty rough couple of days, you and I -- well, especially you -- and things are gonna be fairly intense at the Planet in the next little while, so I thought maybe tonight might be a good--" "Okay." Lois smiled. "For a few minutes. I think we should ... talk. About things." Clark smiled and nodded as she spoke. They each exited the car, and he turned to lead the way towards his apartment when Lois suddenly stopped. "Wait." She had only said the one word, but Clark spun on his heel, askance plain on his face. "Before we actually start ... talking. You're not going to need to be someplace or something are you? I mean, you've picked up your cheese of the month subscription, right?" Her voice was light; she tried to laugh, but Clark could tell that there was more to her question than humor. "Don't worry, Lois," Clark said, placing his arm around her and walking her slowly up the pathway towards his building. "I have everything I need tonight right here." ***** A damp smell hung in the air as they approached Clark's front step. Lois sighed softly thinking about the coming rain. She looked upward into the darkness as she heard Clark rifling through his keys, searching for the one to his apartment. He seemed to be having some difficulty finding it. Lois turned and patted Clark's arm. "Here," she said, taking the keys. She smiled up at Clark. His eyes looked so tired. "I need to get you into bed ... I mean--" "It's okay, Lois." Clark yawned as the door swung open. "I know what you meant." "Well ..." Lois said with exaggerated cheerfulness. "Here we are. Home Sweet Home." She held up the keys for him, but Clark did not seem to notice. He just stared into his apartment. "Earth to Clark? Are you okay?" "Hmm? Yeah ... it's just ... I don't know--" "Clark?" she said more softly, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. At that moment, however, she wasn't quite sure whether she was trying to reassure him or reassure herself that he was there -- real, substantial ... alive. Clark reached up and placed his hand atop hers as if he needed the same reassurance. "I never thought I'd see this place again." And that was the truth. Had he been forced to continue merely as Superman, his apartment would eventually belong to someone else. He would have lost everything; his privacy, his dreams, his job, his future, his ..."Lois?" "I'm right here, Clark," she said, and though trying to sound comforting, she sounded worried instead. Maybe Clark hadn't been drowsy or fatigued at all. Maybe it was a bit of shock finally sinking in. Hearing the concern in her voice finally pulled Clark out of his private thoughts. He patted her hand. "I'm okay, really. This is just a little overwhelming, I guess." "Come on," she said as she tugged his arm. "Let's get you on the sofa." "Lois," he sighed. "I'm *fine*. I'm just tired." "Or maybe you're in shock." Clark smiled and shook his head. "I promise you, Lois, I am *not* in shock." Lois grabbed his hands. "Well, they're not cold," she said and then reached up and touched his face. "Your skin feels warm. You don't feel cold, do you?" Lois's tenderness and touches so robbed Clark of breath that when he finally managed to repeat, "I'm fine, Lois," he actually sounded weak. "You'd better sit down, Clark." "Lois--" Clark started to protest, but seeing the concern in Lois's gaze, he complied and seated himself on the sofa. "Happy?" Lois sat down next to Clark and then placed two fingers on his wrist. "Do you feel dizzy?" Clark sighed. "No, I don't feel dizzy, I don't feel cold and my pulse is fine." "I can't even find your pulse." "You got me there, Lois," Clark shrugged. "I always played hooky on pulse day at school and it finally caught up to me." Lois laughed and butted Clark's shoulder playfully with hers. He chuckled and gently butted her back. The laughter broke the tension in the air and they each finally relaxed back into the sofa. "Ok, fine, you're not in shock," Lois conceded. "What about pain? You're not in any pain or anything, are you?" Lois asked, still unable to eliminate the concern from either her tone or her face. Clark smiled reassuringly. "No, I told you, just a little tired. No pain." "A *little* tired, huh?" Lois said skeptically. "You fell asleep in the car." He looked embarrassed. "I did, didn't I? Well, maybe more than a little tired ... it's been a rough few days," he added ruefully. Lois nodded sympathetically. "You can say that again. I can't believe all that's happened ... it's almost too good to believe, Superman saving you like that." Clark dropped his eyes and shifted in his seat. He hoped it wasn't too good to believe. It took him a long time to come up with this story, but it was far from perfect ... if she started looking at it too closely ... "Yeah, I was really lucky." They sat in silence for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Lois looked at him again and swallowed hard. "Was it scary?" she whispered. "Getting shot? Dying?" Clark sighed. He didn't want to lie to her anymore, but he knew he had to expect some questions. The only thing he could do was answer her as honestly as he could without giving too much away. "I think I was more stunned. It all happened so fast." "Did your whole life flash before your eyes?" she asked with a touch of a smile. "Actually," he said, smiling softly himself, "I was thinking of you." "*Me*?" "Yeah, I was thinking about how to keep those guys from hurting you ... and how I couldn't do that if I was shot. That was honestly the scariest part. That I wanted to go to you and I couldn't." He met her gaze and held it. Lois shook her head in amazement. "Clark, that's-, that's-." Her voice caught in her throat. "It's Ok," he said soothingly. "We're both Ok, right?" When she hesitated, he gently cupped his hand around her forearm and rubbed it up and down affectionately. "Hey ... right?" he prompted again. Lois smiled softly at his caress. His hand felt so warm ... his touch felt so ... "Right." She smiled for real then. "You do look as good as new, almost as if he ..." Lois stopped suddenly and looked away, obviously troubled again. "What?" he asked. When she shook her head, still not looking at him, Clark pressed, concerned by how fast her emotions seemed to be bouncing around. "*Lois*, what?" She turned back to him, her expression more guarded. "It's nothing, it's just ... are you ... are you ...?" "Am I what?" "Are you a clone?" she blurted out. "Did Superman clone you?" Clark blinked in surprise. He hadn't been expecting that question. He tried to keep his expression neutral as his mind raced for an explanation. Seeing the concern in her eyes, however, he was quick to offer comfort. "No, Lois ... I'm not. I'm me, just ... healed. Superman didn't have to clone my whole body. He just had to use the techniques to repair the damage." He switched to a lighter tone, trying to get her to lose the seriousness that had clouded her expression. "He did a good job, too. I don't even have a scar," he added with a grin. It worked. Lois smiled back at him, visibly relieved. She eyed his chest. "Well, that's good ... wouldn't want anything to mess up that perfect physique. That would be a shame," she finished with a flirty wink. Clark eyebrows shot up, and he felt his stomach do an excited flip. She thinks my physique is perfect? She's looked? "You still have to tell me your secret, you know. I hardly ever hear you talk about the gym; when do you go?" she pressed, smiling. He grinned back at her. "Who needs a gym? Keeping up with you is exercise enough." "Uh huh," she shot back, rolling her eyes. But he could tell she liked the answer. After a beat, Lois continued, a gleam in her eye. "Well, I should have known you weren't a clone. Remember that Superman clone last year? He wasn't anything like Superman. And you're still you." "That I am," Clark concurred with a grin. "You're still as crazy as always," she teased, punching his shoulder playfully. "Crazy? How am *I* crazy??" "You are! Jumping in front of me when those guys pulled out their guns at the club ... and last year, when that fake Superman was in my apartment, you challenged him! You're nuts! I told you that back then. I still can't figure out what in the world you thought you were doing." "Hey, it worked, didn't it? He left." "Yeah, but still ... I think I'm rubbing off on you. Taking all these risks ... I want you to stop!" Clark raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you do, do you? Fine, I will ... if you'll stop, too." "Well ...." "Uh huh, see?" he grinned. ***** They teased back and forth in this manner for a bit until Clark stood up and headed for the kitchen. They each seemed to have caught a second wind and he was enjoying this time together so much, he didn't want to push her out the door, no matter how much his body and mind craved sleep. The ten minute nap in the car was probably the deepest and longest he'd slept in the last forty-eight hours. At this point, however, having Lois in his living room once again was worth reaching further into his energy reserves. He'd missed this so much, and from the way she was acting, it was clear she had too. Neither of them seemed to want to call it a night. "I'm just going to get a glass of water," Clark called over his shoulder. "Can I get you anything? I can make coffee or tea or --" "No, water sounds fine to me." Lois glanced outside. "Was that thunder?" Clark cocked his head slightly. "Yeah, I think it was. Storm's moving in. It's just starting to rain." As if on cue, the window glowed briefly, illuminated by a flash of lightning. Lois started counting, "One ... two ... three ... " The sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. "Three miles," she said with satisfaction. "Right?" Clark nodded from the kitchen sink. "I think so. At least that's how we used to do it when I was growing up." "I used to love thunderstorms when I was a kid ... I would lie in bed at night with all the lights off and watch the lightning. Then I would count to see how far away the storm was." Lois smiled at the old memory. Clark, meanwhile, was smiling at Lois. She looked happy. Relaxed. Comfortable. He loved that she felt that way around him. She certainly made him feel that way ... well, most of the time. And right now was definitely one of those times. She met his gaze and her smile brightened even more. Clark felt warm all over when she smiled at him like that. He felt like he never wanted to be without her. That feeling was nothing new to him; he'd felt it in various degrees since he'd met her. But what was new was that Lois seemed to be looking at him the same way. Not at Superman ... at Clark. Wow. Clark cleared his throat ... and his head. He must be imagining things. "I still like thunderstorms. Unless I have to drive in them or whatever." Lois concurred. "Yeah, or when there's a power outage in the middle of the night and your alarm clock doesn't go off in the morning and--" The lights flickered, and Lois's eyes opened wide. "Uh-oh. Did I do that?" Clark laughed out loud at her expression. "Boy, Lois ... be careful what you say ..." The lights flickered once more, then went out completely. The sound of hard falling rain could be heard outside. "Oh, darn it!" Lois exclaimed as they both laughed. "Wow, Lois Lane has the power! She speaks and it shall be done!" "Watch out or I'll put a hex on you!" They were both still laughing as Clark emerged from the kitchen with a large flashlight, the powerful beam of light illuminating his path back to the living room. He handed her a glass of water, then moved to the various light switches and lamps that had been on. "What are you doing?" Lois asked curiously. "They aren't going to come back on if you play with the switches." "I'm not 'playing with the switches'; I'm turning everything off. No sense having them all set to come on at once -- power could come back on in the middle of the night and then I'd have to get out of bed and shut them all off." "Have I ever told you how compulsive you are, Clark?" "Repeatedly," he responded with a grin. But before when she'd mentioned it, it sounded like an insult ... now it sounded like she liked it. Imagine that. His task completed, Clark detoured quickly into the kitchen, retrieved his own glass of water, and sat back down on the couch. He placed the flashlight upright on the coffee table in front of them so it shone onto the ceiling, bathing the room in a gentle light. "You have a very impressive ... flashlight there, Clark." "Men measure their prowess by cars and flashlights, Lois. And since I don't have a car ..." "Oh, I get it -- 'Hey baby ... wanna come inside and see my flashlight'," Lois teased in what was supposed to pass for an exaggerated masculine voice, rubbing her hand suggestively over his knee. Clark leaned into her. "It does its best work in the dark," he said in a husky voice. They each dissolved into laughter. "How many batteries does that take, Clark?" Lois managed to choke out. "Two. Two really *big* ones. They're rechargeable." He winked on a held-back laugh, trying to keep a straight face. "Oh, I really don't think we need to be discussing your preference for rechargable battery-powered ... *appliances*." She was laughing again before she'd even completed her sentence. Clark almost spit out the sip of water he had just taken as he burst out laughing with her. When they finally caught their breaths, several moments later, Clark choked out: "Ok, that settles it ... we're so tired we're getting punchy ... it wasn't *that* funny." His declaration only set them off again into peals of laughter. ***** Several moments later, after finally composing herself, Lois slipped off her loafers and folded her feet up under her on the couch as they sat and talked and listened to the falling rain. She leaned towards the coffee table to replace her water, but when she turned back to Clark, she caught him glancing at her bare thigh. The jacket was long enough to cover most of her upper body while she stood, but as she sat down, it was behaving just like a mini-skirt -- hiking itself up the farther back she moved. Lois blushed slightly as Clark quickly moved his eyes to her face. "Whoops," she grinned a little bashfully. "Guess that's a little short there, huh?" She shifted in her seat, putting her bare feet back on the floor and pulling the side of the jacket down with her hand. Clark seemed unable to speak for moment as he watched her tug on the bottom hem of his jacket, but he finally found his voice. "Do you wanna change? I can get you a t-shirt or something ... I can't believe I didn't offer the minute we got inside ..." "No, that's Ok." She looked up at him suddenly, unsure. "But ... if you'd rather I did ...?" Clark blinked, eyebrows raised. "Lois, you look ..." He fumbled for a moment, then gave her an obvious once over. "Great. I mean, really great ... why in the world would I want you to change?" He grinned, his face in a teasing exaggerated leer. She slapped his shoulder and laughed out loud. How did he do that? Take something that should have made her embarrassed and instead make her feel all warm inside. This day that had started out so horribly had turned out to be one of the best nights she'd ever had. It felt so good to be here with him. She was loving all the joking they were doing. She felt so happy; it felt so incredibly wonderful to have her best friend back again! Clark was happy, too; she was sure. He kept looking at her, smiling. He was paying her lots of attention, and she could swear he had this flirty look in his eye ... and it made her want to flirt back! This was just ... right. "Well," she said with a wave of her hand, "this look is the newest fashion, you know." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah, it's all the rage. Women everywhere are raiding their boyfriends' closets, looking for that perfect jacket!" "You need the right boyfriend ... I mean, he has to wear the right size ..." "Well, there you go! That's why I'm lucky to have you." She gave his knee an affectionate squeeze. "You're the perfect size for me." "A match made in heaven!" "Exactly!" Clark grinned happily at her, noticing with a thrill that she was giving him the same megawatt smile. He loved that smile. He always felt entranced by it ... like being caught in her high beams, with neither the ability, nor the desire to escape them. Then his mind took hold of their conversation, turning it around and around, and he had to swallow. Had Lois just implied that he was her boyfriend? Well, yes, she had implied it, but did she mean it?? Was she actually *flirting* with him? They bantered like this quite often ... but something seemed different tonight. The way that she held his gaze a second longer than normal, the way her hand kept lingering on his arm or his leg ... the way she dropped her head a bit and smiled at him from under her lashes ... like she was doing right now. Did she...? Could she...? Lois's hand was still on his knee, a fact that his body was acutely aware of. She gave it another playful squeeze, pushing off it as she stood, and Clark felt his blood pressure rise. One place in particular felt increasingly warm. Down boy ... concentrate on what she's saying ... she's talking to you ... "I'm sorry, what?" He looked up at her as she stood in front of him, trying to focus on her beautiful face and not the long bare legs that were showing from under his jacket. "I'm just going to take my glass into the sink ... are you done with yours? You want more?" "Oh! No, I'm all set, thanks." He couldn't help but crane his head as a hint of the back of her thighs came into view as she leaned down to pick up his glass from the coffee table. Oh my, but she looked *good* wearing her "latest fashion". What was it about seeing her in his clothes, knowing she didn't have much on underneath...? Clark's head snapped back into place as Lois turned around, and he tried to put on his best "innocent" smile as she walked into the kitchen. He could hear her humming to herself as she dumped the water into the sink, and Clark smiled contentedly. He was so glad he had invited her in. This was the perfect way to celebrate being "alive" again. The stress and worry of the last couple of days had been pressing down on him like a weight on his back, but now he felt free. Free and happy. It made him almost giddy. He had turned towards the kitchen to talk to Lois once more when a slight movement caught his eye. Looking down curiously, he saw what caused it -- a fairly large black spider was crawling across his floor, headed straight for the couch. "Hey, little fella," Clark murmured, "You can't be in here ... Lois doesn't like spiders." He stood up and reached absently for the spider, but it was too fast for his non-super speed, and scurried under the couch just beyond his reach. With a look of casual annoyance, Clark leaned over from the waist to look under the dark couch. He didn't notice that Lois had joined him until he felt her hands on his hips. She stuck a thumb into a belt loop on either side of his waistband and lay lightly over his body, pressing her front into his back. "Whatcha lookin' for, Clark?" she asked in his ear, using her playful little girl voice. If the knee squeeze earlier had set off a smoke alarm in his body, this action prompted a four alarm blaze. It felt as if all the blood in Clark's upper body had just traveled downward. He gasped at the intensity of the feeling, then covered it up with a forced cough. "Oh, I was just, ah .... there was a, ah ... a spider under the couch." The blood must have left his brain as well. It was the only thing that could explain how her quick motion could catch him so completely off guard that he wouldn't be able to stop it. No sooner that the words were out of his mouth than Lois jumped back with a squeak. Unfortunately, her thumbs were still caught in his belt loops. Her quick motion pulled his hips right out from under him. "Wha-? Ahh!!" Clark called out as he lost his balance. He twisted his body around to steady himself and tried to grab Lois's shoulders. In that instance, Lois's thumbs slipped from his belt loops, but it was too late. She grasped at his chest to catch herself, but she couldn't hold on. They tumbled onto the floor; Clark's twisting motion putting him down on his back, pulling Lois down on top of him a half-second later. They landed with a grunt, then froze, stunned. "Is it gone?" Lois asked tentatively. "Did you kill it?" She lifted her head and craned it around to look on the floor around them. Clark swallowed hard and tried to clear his mind. Lois's movements weren't helping his situation. It was bad enough that his body had reacted so intensely to her nearness when she pressed her body against his back, but now she was lying against his front ... and the edge of her thigh was rubbing softly against the increasing evidence of Clark's inability to conceal the effect she was having on him. And she seemed to be completely oblivious to his predicament. "It's probably still under the couch," he managed to get out. "You think?" Lois interrupted nervously. "Can you get it?" She shifted again and Clark had to rip into his own mind to keep himself from reaching up and kissing her. Her face was so close to his ... her soft, feminine curves pressed tightly against him in all of the most agonizingly wonderful places. "No, I can't reach it from here." Lois shifted her eyes back to Clark as she realized where "here" was. Here was on the floor, under her. She blushed as she remembered pulling him down. "I'm sorry. Are you Ok?" "I'm fine, Lois. Are you?" "Yeah," she replied softly Their eyes met and held as time stood still for a moment. Lois blushed again under the heat of his gaze. She had initially clung to Clark for protection, but now that the threat was gone, she could feel him real and warm underneath her body. She found herself looking at his lips, only inches from hers. She wanted to kiss him ... she really wanted to kiss him ... "Lois?" She jerked her eyes back up to his guiltily. "Huh? Oh, yeah ... I'm sorry, I should get up ... wait, hold on a sec ..." Lois reached her hands down to pull at the bottom of the suit jacket she was wearing, making sure she wasn't exposing any more than she had to. Tugging it back into place, she tried to right herself, her movements awkward as she tried to keep the jacket around her. It was only then, as she shimmied over him and Clark dropped his head back to the floor with a barely controlled groan, that she noticed exactly how Clark was feeling about all of this. A rush of heat swept through her body as her leg once more pressed against the hard edge of Clark's obvious interest. She suddenly felt warm ... very, very warm. Lois rolled off him quickly. She jumped up and walked a few steps away, keeping her back to him. She knew from the heat in her skin that her face was flushed, partly from embarrassment, partly from shock ... and partly from the intense warmth making its way through her lower body. Clark sat up quickly as well, anxious to readjust himself and hide the blush that was spreading across his own face. How incredibly embarrassing. Oh God, what if she had felt ... "Um ... I guess I should see if that spider is still under there, huh?" He tried to sound casual. "What?" Lois almost squeaked. "Oh ... yes, I guess you should." Geez, girl, get a grip. Her gaze followed Clark as he got on his hands and knees to look under the couch, and her eyes widened as she focused on the way his pants tightened over his rear end as he searched. Lois ripped her eyes away -- no, that was *definitely* not helping. "Ok, got it," came his muffled voice as he backed out from under the couch. He stood with his hand cupped around something. "Wanna see?" "No!" Lois said, eyeing his hand warily. "They give me the creeps." She shivered as if to prove her point. "Ok, Ok," he smiled. Clark walked to the window, and released the spider into the great outdoors. When he turned, Lois was back on the couch, her legs crossed once again ... and the jacket once more riding up on her thigh. He closed his eyes as he felt his body react to the memory of how she had felt on top of him. If he ever needed super-will-power, it was now. He carefully sat on the couch next to her. "It's gone." To his surprise and delight, Lois snuggled up slightly against him. "My hero," she teased. Clark hesitated for a moment, then put his arm around her, in what he hoped could pass for a "friendly" gesture. "Yeah, who knows what would have happened if I hadn't been there to break your fall," he teased back. Lois giggled, then nuzzled a bit deeper against his chest. Clark held his breath. In the year plus that it had taken him to get even this close to Lois Lane, he was never quite prepared for the impact such simple but direct contact had on him. Unable to resist, Clark rested his cheek against the top of her head and sighed happily. The intimacy was wonderful, yet at the same time, almost unbearable, and Clark felt his body betray his good intentions once again. He really had to distract his mind ... "Clark?" "Istanbul." Clark blushed. "Sorry." Lois glanced up at Clark, though not breaking contact with his shoulder. "Excuse me?" Oh, God, she was so incredibly beautiful. "I was thinking about places that ... changed their ... names." "Perry move you to the 'Believe it or Not' page?" Lois teased, but she knew exactly what Clark had been doing and why. Depending on his choice of distraction, he could have blurted the name of a star quarterback or that of a state capital. After a self-satisfying glance downward, Lois happily noticed his mental redirection had failed rather miserably. She hid a triumphant smile by turning her head towards the dimming light of the flashlight. Was it wrong to feel this way? To know that he was turned on, and feel good about it? The way she found out had been embarrassing, yes, but after that shock had worn off, Lois had found herself feeling incredibly pleased. It was fun knowing that she had that power over him ... and it made her feel sexy and desirable ... and responsive. Clark, for his part, was trying to salvage the conversation. "Actually, I think I'd be more likely to end up on the page as the amazing reporter who rose from the dead." He waved his fingers in a 'spooky' fashion. "Hey, it's a great story. Fascinating ... if it hadn't been you!" "Oh, yeah ... you were probably glad I was gone," Clark teased. Lois blanched. "No, I wasn't." "I'm too much for you ... you can't stand the competition for the best stories. Heck, you were probably encouraging people to rifle my desk for extra office supplies!" Clark grinned at her, and tightened his arm over her shoulder in a playful squeeze. Unlike with their previous bantering, however, this time Lois stiffened further at his words. She knew he was joking, that he didn't think that about her, but the memory of all that had happened over the last few days suddenly came crashing through to the front of her mind. The emotions hit her hard, and she felt a warm wetness burning at the back of her eyes. It was all suddenly too much. The unexpected reminder of Clark's near death coming on the heels of newfound deeper feelings for him -- and more disturbing still, a longing for him physically -- overwhelmed what faint glimmer of logic and control she had left. Lois smiled weakly. "Yeah, right," she said absently. "Well, I guess I should get going." This time, Clark noticed the abrupt change in her demeanor. "Lois ... what's wrong?" She leaned forward a bit, causing his arm to drop off her shoulder. "Nothing ... it's just late. I said I'd get you to bed, and here I've kept you up for over an hour." This was true; Lois did feel guilty about keeping Clark up when he was so obviously exhausted. But she also could tell that the tears that had been such a part of her life the last few days hadn't completely worked their way out of her system yet. This last hour with Clark, she'd been able to forget all that she'd gone through, but the emotions couldn't be suppressed any longer. She just needed to get home and be alone and sort things out -- Clark didn't need to be burdened with that -- and, to be honest, she wasn't sure she trusted herself to stop talking about how awful the last few days had been for her once she started. "Lois, I was just kidding. I know you weren't happy I was gone. I'm sorry; it wasn't funny. I--" "No, Clark, it's fine, really." She turned back towards him, and smiled reassuringly. "It's not you ... I just need to get going ... the rain seems to be letting up so this would be a good time." The rain wasn't letting up; if anything, it was raining harder and they both knew it. But Clark wasn't sure that pointing that out wouldn't just make her more upset. "Well ... are you sure?" Lois hesitated at the disappointment in his voice, then quickly stood and moved awkwardly towards the door and up the landing, desperate to leave, yet equally desperate to stay. She forced herself to say something conversational. "Yeah, I should go. I mean ... it is late. Maybe we can do something tomorrow? More ... talking? Or we can go out and do something? Perry might not need us all day, we might be able to--" "Wait, you forgot your shoes." Clark carefully picked up Lois's shoes from the floor. Lois watched, mesmerized, as Clark moved towards her. She had made it up the landing and watched as he climbed the steps after her. Stopping on the second to last step, he placed the two low heeled shoes in front of her as carefully as he had picked them up, the motion forcing him to almost bow before her. But when he had righted himself, he was looking straight into her eyes, the difference in step height bringing them face to face. "C--Clark?" Her voice was smaller, somewhat less assured than it usually was. Clark felt the urge to hold onto her and protect her just then, just from the sound of her voice. But he didn't know from what. "We're still ... best friends, aren't we?" Lois finished, still not making any move towards her shoes. "You know that you will always be my best friend, Lois," he answered sincerely. Lois took a tiny step towards him, then another. They were already so close that she barely had to move, but still she felt the need to get closer to him. "I really should go ... for tonight," Lois whispered breathlessly. Clark nodded slowly and Lois felt her body lean forward, equally as slowly. Noting that Clark never took his eyes from hers, Lois felt as though she had lost herself inside of his deep brown gaze. "Goodnight, Clark," she murmured, barely a breath away from him. Clark could feel her warm breath mingle with his; they were so close, so very close. He whispered, almost worshipful, "Goodnight, Lois." He shut his eyes, longing to feel the touch of her lips against his ... anticipating what he had waited so long for ... knowing it was finally going to happen ... A loud crack startled both partners and a brilliant flash of lightening illuminated the apartment through the windowpanes of the door. Clark opened his eyes and found himself gazing into Lois's. For a moment, there was nothing in the whole world except the sound of their erratic breathing and the nearness of their bodies. Suddenly, however, Lois's face took on an expression of complete shock and she turned away, leaving her shoes on the steps, and racing towards the doorway. She threw the door open and ran outside, barefoot, into the pouring rain. "Lois!!" Clark called after her, hastily retrieving a jacket from next to the doorway and following her flight. It was very dark outside, but he could see her, several yards away, hurrying towards her car, her trembling fingers clutching something silver and shiny in their grasp. "Lois, wait!" Clark's voice was nearly swallowed by the thunder and the pouring rain. Lois thrust her keys towards the locked door of her Jeep, searching desperately for the small opening which would allow her to climb inside, safe from ... what? Her body still ached in remembrance of what almost happened and she shut her eyes, banishing thoughts which she *knew* to be completely irrational. She wanted to be with him ... almost desperately. He was her best friend, her partner ... and now maybe more? But the feelings were so overwhelming ... the last few *days* had been so overwhelming; the intense pain, the breathtaking joy; it was all swirling in her head, not letting her think. She kept trying to push it aside, bury it deep enough so she wouldn't have to think about it ... but it was getting impossible to ignore. Lois finally fit the key in the lock and heard it click just as a strong pair of arms wrapped around her from behind, surrounding her with a long, warm coat and holding her tightly in their embrace. She hadn't realized she'd been shivering until she felt the warmth encircle her body and she finally began to cry, losing her tears to the torrent of rain which washed over her face and hair, soaking both herself and the man behind her. "Lois ..." Clark called softly, bending toward her ear so that she would hear him over the rain that continued to fall. He turned her around and pulled the long coat shut in front. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close. The rain began to fall harder, causing rivulets of water to run down from their hair and into their faces. Lois pulled back and looked into his face. She could see how worried he was. Oh, God, she didn't want that. She didn't want to hurt him. She looked at him in desperation. "Lois, I won't let you leave this way. You're so upset. What's wrong? Tell me, please; let me help you." At his pleading, she started to cry harder. She let him hold her, but could only shake her head, knowing that once she started to talk, she wouldn't be able to stop. "Come back inside. Please? Please?" When she didn't argue, Clark gently turned them away from the car, his arm protectively over her shoulder, his coat wrapped around her body. He held her close to his side as he led them back up the walk to his still open door. Lois leaned into him, noticing for the first time that he, too, had come out without shoes on, and that he had wrapped the only coat he had brought out over her body instead of his own. He was soaking wet, yet he seemed more concerned with her well-being than his. Part of her wanted to protest, to run back to the car and just go home, where she could be alone and deal with all these feelings in private. But the larger part of her knew that was the problem -- that being alone was the last thing she wanted. And she knew that it wouldn't be safe to drive, not in her condition and not in this weather. She could barely see the concrete under her feet between her tears and the hard falling rain. As if to prove that point, Lois's bare foot came in contact with a tiny stone on the walk, and while trying to avoid stepping on it completely, she stumbled. Clark grabbed her and held her more closely to him, preventing her from falling. As she let out a choked sob of frustration, Clark stopped short, pausing them just outside his door, ignoring the rain still pouring down on them in his growing panic. "Oh, God, Lois, are you Ok? Are you hurt?" His near frantic concern and protectiveness only made the tears flow once more and she turned towards him, letting him hold her as she collapsed against his chest. "Oh, Clark. No ... yes ... oh, I don't know what's wrong with me," she wailed. "Lois, please. Please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. If I did or said something to upset you inside, I'm so sorry. Please, what did I do?" "No ... it's not you ... you didn't ... it's just ...." She tried valiantly to catch her breath, to calm herself down, but it was a losing battle. As the tears fell, all of the emotion that she'd been holding inside spilled out as well. All the pain of the last few days had finally taken their toll and her sobbing increased as she finally gave voice to that pain. Her words poured out as she wept in his arms. "Oh, Clark, I missed you so much. It was so awful ... I kept wanting to call you up or go see you, and then I'd remember that I couldn't ... that I never could again because you were gone ... you were dead and it was all my fault! I felt so alone ... and I missed you so much." Clark felt like his heart was being ripped out. She hurt so much and it was all because of him. He wanted so desperately to take her pain away, to make it stop. Yet, at the same time, all the guilt and pain and worry he himself had experienced over the last few days came to the surface, and he found himself clinging to Lois as tightly as she clung to him, trying in vain to offer solace, even as his own tears threatened to spill out. "Lois, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he whispered emotionally, interjecting his responses into her monologue. "No, it wasn't your fault; it wasn't, I swear ... I know I left you alone and I'm so sorry." The words continued to flow out of Lois's mouth as if she couldn't hear him. "I kept seeing you lying there -- every time I tried to sleep, all I could see was the way you fell, and then you stopped moving..." Clark cupped her face with his hand, holding her close to him and brushing at her tears with his thumbs. He was trying so hard to keep his emotions in check, but the more she cried, the more he wanted to cry with her. "Please don't cry. I'm here, Lois ... I'm right here. I know I was gone, but I'm back now. I'm fine, I promise. I should never have--" "It hurts so much ... I don't want to be without you, Clark." Lois's large, shimmering eyes met his and in that moment, though he'd been a part of her life for over a year and a half, Clark would have sworn that he had never truly known her until that very second -- the briefest flicker of time when he'd seen into her soul and she had seen into his. "I need you in my life," she continued, still crying. "You're the best friend I've ever had ... I don't want to be without you ..." Lost in a sea of emotion, Clark found her forehead with his lips and kissed her there, trying to soothe her. He wanted so desperately to stop her pain, to show her that he was here, alive, right in front of her -- tell her that he would never leave again, not if it meant causing her this kind of hurt -- that he would do anything just to be with her. Seeking to comfort and to be comforted, Clark held her face close to his and layered tiny kisses down to one tear covered cheek, whispering against her skin. "You have me ... You'll always have me. Please, Lois, it's Ok. I need you, too ... I need you ... More than you'll ever know." Their lips met unexpectedly. Somehow, some way, he was kissing her mouth, feeling her melt against him. She tasted like a magnificent mingling of teardrops, rain and Lois Lane. Realizing suddenly what he had done, Clark pulled back, allowing Lois to escape his kiss, but instead she shivered almost uncontrollably, giving everything over to their moment. Thunder clapped close above them as she frantically reached up to wrap two wet hands around the back of his head, pulling his mouth back to hers, not letting him get away. Clark couldn't get enough of the feel of her kiss or the way that she whimpered into his mouth, pulling passionately on his lips as she asked for more. He willingly complied, deepening the kiss until it became desperate, hungry, urgent. He moved one hand up to cup the side of her head, feeling the power of the storm and the rain as it trickled across their faces and into their mouths at every gasp for breath. He pulled his fingers through her dark, wet hair. Soon, Lois's tongue extended out to taste him. She made a small sound in the back of her throat, begging him to take the kiss still deeper. As his tongue swept past her teeth, she gave it full access to the warm, moist cavity of her mouth, meeting him pull for pull. Drawing her hands through his hair until they clasped the back of his neck, Lois pulled herself forward. Clark drew her in, following her lead, wrapping his arms around her back. He pressed his body against hers and felt her slight weight slacken in his arms once the contact was made. It was maddening and passionate. Completely out of control. Lois finally broke away from their kiss and clung to his wet body, pressing her forehead against Clark's neck while she took in as much air as she could, breathing in with it the now-damp smell of his aftershave and the faint reminder of wet cement. Her hands fell against the sides of Clark's shirt, and she could distinguish the smooth, muscled hardness beneath her fingertips. His white shirt was almost transparent from the rain and, even in the darkness, she could make out the way it clung to his body. God, this was so incredible; this couldn't be happening. Lois lifted her head and found Clark watching her catch her breath, his own breathing coming fast and hard. She reached upward and kissed him again, unable to keep her mind in focus and unwilling to even try anymore. It felt as though she had been aching for this forever. Clark moaned as Lois attached her lips to his once more and his hands wound their way under the coat so he could caress her. They held each other, heedless of the torrent of rain ... eyes closed, mouths clasped, hands exploring one another's bodies intimately. No words were spoken or needed. Lois had never felt so completely consumed with desire in her entire life. She had felt the urgency of passion before but it had never been like this ... this felt like she might die if she didn't get to touch him, or to feel his touch on her. She drew in a breath to speak, but Clark had already turned his attention from her lips and was now trailing hungry, wet kisses along the sensitive skin just below her jaw and around towards her equally responsive ear. "Oh, God ..." Lois heard herself whisper fervently into the storm. "Oh, my God ... I can't believe this is happen--" her breath caught in her throat as Clark suddenly attached his mouth to hers once more and swept her up into his arms. He continued his sweet caresses even as he carried her up the steps towards the still open door of his apartment, and the warmth that waited within. Lois shut her eyes and clung to him, kissing him, unable to concentrate on anything but the way her body was feeling. ***** Lois awoke slowly, her mind gradually becoming aware of a odd heaviness in her legs. As her brain surfaced from the sleepy grogginess, her eyes still closed, she took stock of the sensations ... she was in her bed, with the covers pulled up snugly around her, the noises of the city starting to reach her ears. The pillow beneath her head was soft, and she could hear the sound of her own breathing, quiet, deep and rhythmic. Lois held her breath for a moment ... and could still hear the breathing. What more, the weight on her lower body now felt warm and solid ... like legs. Very masculine legs. She tensed and opened her eyes slowly, frozen by the confusion and fear gripping her -- she wasn't alone! There was someone in her bed! Lois's eyes darted around the room, panic quickly building as she realized she wasn't even in her own apartment. This room ... it looked familiar, yet unfamiliar. Finally, she recognized Clark's large windows and relaxed. It was Ok, she was in Clark's bedroom. Hmm, so this must be Clark's bed ... Her eyes opened wide. Then the man beside her must be .... Clark?!? Later that day, Lois would kick herself for her reaction. What she should have done was remain calm, to stay in control ... that would have been the proper thing, the mature thing to do. Instead, she shouted the first thing that popped into her mind. "Oh my God!!!!" ***** Clark opened his eyes drowsily at the loud yell near his ear. It sounded like Lois, but what was Lois doing in his ...? Clark turned his head .... and found himself staring right into the wide eyes of Lois Lane. "Lois?" he asked, confused. "What are you--?" "Oh my God!" she exclaimed again. Suddenly aware of his bare face, Clark quickly turned away to search for his glasses. He panicked for a second as he found the nightstand empty where he usually kept them, but he soon dropped his gaze to the floor as the memories of last night nudged at the edges of his brain. He quickly reached down to pick his glasses up from the floor and place them back on his face. How in the world did his glasses get on the floor? He wasn't really sure ... they were on his face when he came home last night, and when he and Lois were talking on his couch. Then there was the vague memory of Lois removing them in the darkness, only to replace the spectacles with her lips, layering sensuous kisses over his eyes and forehead ... This time it was Clark's voice that repeated the phrase. He looked at Lois, eyes wide. "Oh my God!!" ***** Lois sat upright, scrambling to pull the covers up around her chest. She didn't need to look under the blanket to know that they were both naked. She *knew* she was undressed ... and from the memory of how Clark's legs felt partially intertwined with hers ... she knew he was as well. She closed her eyes; 'this isn't happening, this isn't happening', she mentally repeated over and over. Lois Lane did *not* just fall into bed with men, and *especially* not her co-workers. Lois remembered everything about last night now; it was all crystal clear. How overjoyed she'd been at finding Clark was alive, how he'd invited her inside to talk after she drove him home, and how much fun they'd had joking and flirting and just being together. But then her rollercoasting emotions had taken another deep dive, and she had found herself in his arms, sobbing and confessing how terrible his death had been for her and how much she cared for him. When their lips had met in the rain, it was all she could do not to devour him. The intensity of her feelings had been overwhelming, as overwhelming as the stress she'd been under since watching him get shot right before her eyes. She'd needed him desperately last night. She'd needed to feel his skin and hear his voice calling her name. And the moments that they'd spent making love had fulfilled all her needs, all her desires. It was like a dream come true. But now that the sun was up, last night's dream was suddenly confronted with a brutal reality. And Lois knew that the reality was that men couldn't be trusted with her heart. Yet Clark wasn't just any man ... was he? He was her best friend, her partner. She trusted him more than anyone. And the way he had looked at her last night, the way they talked ... the way they made love. It couldn't be an act; he had to care about her. She trusted Clark, she believed in him. The thought mocked her as Lois suddenly flashed on another such morning, several years earlier -- the morning after she had willingly allowed herself to be seduced by a man that she worked with, a man that she was in love with, a man that she'd trusted. A man whom she believed when he said he would always be there for her, would always love her, would always respect her. A man who was gone when she'd woken up in the morning, along with her prize-winning story. The pain of that one stupid encounter hit her like a ton of bricks, still, years later. She'd be damned if she'd go through it again. It was too dangerous to open up like that; it hurt too much. No, this time it would be different. This time ... she'd be the one doing the leaving. ***** Lois pasted a smile on her face and turned to look at Clark, planning to make a quick exit. She found Clark staring at her, almost in awe. "You're here. It ... it wasn't a dream." His face broke into a genuine smile. "Heh. Yeah ..." she answered non-committally. "Lois ... I ... I really ..." Did he have to look at her like that? So *happy*? So surprised and pleased that he could barely put two words together? Oh, God, he did look happy, didn't he? And he was looking at her like he really did care about her. But that wouldn't last long, Lois was sure. It had all been a mistake. A big, fat mistake. It would sink in soon enough. He was probably still half asleep. Once he woke up, he would realize what a mess they were in, and then he wouldn't be so happy to see her. Oh, he'd pretend, maybe even ask her out on a few token dates if he felt guilty enough -- she'd been down this road before. But things would be so awkward and forced that they'd end up uncomfortable with each other, and would eventually start avoiding each other at work. Lois knew the pattern all too well. In one moment of weakness, everything was ruined. She would lose her partner and her best friend. How could she have *done* this?? Well, one thing was for sure; she was going to get out of this with her dignity intact. Lois knew Clark wasn't the 'one night stand' type; he'd try to do the right thing. Even now, she could see him trying to talk to her, pretending he was happy to see her. Maybe there was some infinitesimal, microscopic possibility that they could stay friends after this ... but it wasn't going to happen with her lying naked in his bed. No, if she was going to get asked out on a pity date -- or worse yet, have to listen to him *apologize* for making such a huge mistake -- it wasn't going to be while she was naked and vulnerable. " ... know it's getting late, but I could make you breakfast. What would you like?" Lois blinked and swallowed, fixing him once again with the brightest smile (and phoniest looking, she was sure, but that couldn't be helped right now) she could manage. She had only been half listening to him as he'd happily rambled on (nervous energy, she was positive). Something about asking if she'd slept all right ... then apologizing that he hadn't set the alarm clock ... then offering breakfast .... Wait a minute. Alarm clock? Lois swiveled her head to the windows, startled to see sunlight streaming in. This wasn't morning sun. This was ... "What time is it?!?" she demanded, trying to crane around him to see his clock. Clark's face fell a bit as she barked at him. "Uh ... it's a little before eleven. You're probably hungry so why don't I--" "Eleven??" she exclaimed, cutting him off. "Clark, we don't have time to eat! We have to get to work. Perry's going to kill me!" "Lois, he knows we were there late last night ..." Lois wrapped the blanket around herself, and hopped off the bed, leaving Clark with the sheet. She looked around on the floor. "Where are my clothes?" They both paused as they remembered that she didn't have any ... her clothes had been ruined by cement and she'd been wearing Clark's suitcoat all evening. Lois looked up at Clark, a little sheepish. She wrapped the blanket around herself more tightly. "Um, Clark? Do you have anything I could--?" He smiled at that, looking pleased and almost relieved as she met his eyes for the first time since her initial shock this morning. "Yeah, sure. You want to borrow some sweats? They'll be big but--" Lois's eyes widened. Clark was talking to her, but even more importantly, he was starting to move the sheet out of the way as if he was about to get out of bed himself. Only he didn't look like he was going to wrap the sheet around ... "No!" she squeaked, stopping him in mid-lift. He froze and looked at her warily. "What's wrong? You don't want sweats?" Lois got even more flustered as she edged around the bed towards the dresser. "No ... I mean ... I'll get them ... don't get up." Clark followed her eyes to his bare torso, the one he was about to absent-mindedly expose to her, and suddenly understood. He blushed and covered himself back up, smiling self-consciously. "Oh ... Ok." "Which drawer?" "Uh ... second from the bottom for sweats and one up for t-shirts." Lois chuckled nervously as she opened the drawers. Success. And none too soon. Grabbing a pair of navy sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, she quickly closed the dresser drawers. "This will be fine," she answered with a breeziness she didn't feel. "I'll just change and ..." Lois made the mistake of turning back around and catching Clark's eye. He was watching her, that much she had known already ... but did he have to look so *good* doing it? To her amazement -- or was it her horror? -- Clark had swung his legs off the bed and let them hang down to the floor. He kept the sheet around his mid-section, hiding the essentials, but it really didn't matter. The muscles in his thighs were chiseled below the sheet and the hardness of his stomach and chest above it were screaming for her attention. Lois flushed as she tried not to stare. She heard her own voice in her head echoing words of praise for his body, words she had cooed and murmured and purred last night, her voice husky and sensuous and downright sexy ... "Lois, do you want this?" She froze, her eyes huge. He didn't just read her mind ... he couldn't, he-- "What??" she gasped. Clark ducked his head, embarrassed, and reached down to where he had been indicating. He came up with her bra in his hand. He held it out to her awkwardly. "Um ... do you need ...?" Lois blushed profusely and snatched it out of his hand. "Yes, thanks," she mumbled, then to her even greater distress noticed her panties under the bed near his feet. "Heh heh," she laughed nervously, trying to act nonchalant as she *casually* leaned over to pick them up, as if the naturalness of the act would prove it unworthy of his attention. Mission accomplished, she practically bolted for the bathroom, locking the door behind her with shaking hands. ***** Clark let out a heavy sigh as Lois shut the bathroom door, leaving him alone in the bedroom. He could feel his heart beating loudly inside his chest, and he tried to calm it. It was hard to identify all the feelings swirling inside him. He was excited and happy ... and nervous and scared. His head was spinning, that was for sure, and his emotions felt like they were still on the rollercoaster ride of the last few days. He thought he had solved his problems when he figured out a way to 'come back from the dead'. But now it seemed like he traded in one rollercoaster for another. The events of last night were finally clear in his mind. He'd been confused when he found Lois in his bed. It had all been fuzzy when he'd awoken, like it had been a dream. A really, really *great* dream. But it hadn't taken long for him to clear the cobwebs from his mind and remember ... everything. Superman didn't need as much rest as other people did, but over forty-eight hours without sleep, combined with the emotional stresses that Clark had been under for those hours, had obviously taken their toll on him. Clark remembered feeling exhausted in the car when Lois had driven him home. She'd been talking to him about something -- how she felt when he was dead, he was pretty sure -- but he just couldn't keep his eyes open to finish the conversation. The murmur of her voice was so comforting, and the quiet hum and sway of the car was so lulling, that he just hadn't been able to fight his body's desire for sleep any longer. He couldn't have napped long -- the next thing he knew, they were in front of his apartment, and Lois was walking him to his door. Clark had woken up enough to know that neither of them really wanted to say goodnight yet, so he'd invited her in. And he was so glad that he did! It was so wonderful to talk and joke like that with her. He'd honestly thought that he would never get to do that again. But when Lois had run into the rain -- reacting to something he'd said, though he still wasn't sure what -- he'd wanted nothing more than to protect her, to hold her and kiss her and comfort her. And the amazing thing was, she'd wanted him to do it. And she'd not only let him do it, she wanted more. He'd felt completely swept away by the emotions that had come out of that encounter. All he could think of was how much he loved her, and how he thought he had lost her forever. Then suddenly, she seemed to return those feelings. The way she kissed him last night, the things they said to each other ... Clark felt a shiver go down his spine as he remembered the sounds of their passion-filled moans filling his bedroom. Everything had happened so fast, like a tidal wave that he'd had no choice but to go along with ... Not that he'd wanted to fight it. For well over a year now, he'd been in love with Lois Lane. He dreamt of kissing her and cuddling with her ... and yes, making love to her. Someday, when they were both ready, when she knew his secret and loved him for all of who he was ... *someday* is what he would tell himself. Someday it would happen. He'd just had no idea that someday would come so soon. Too soon. Clark blinked his eyes rapidly to quell the rising emotions that he felt pushing their way into his heart. He loved her so much, and the delight he'd felt this morning when he realized that they really had made love was overpowering. But from how Lois had reacted, Clark was afraid that her feelings were less clear ... and that he might have made a horrible mistake in letting himself get carried away. He could tell Lois was upset and uncomfortable despite his attempts to show her how pleased he was she was there. But was it because she really didn't have the feelings for him that she had indicated last night? Or was it because she was just nervous around all men, enough so that she expected Clark to hurt her? Clark sighed. He had heard enough about Lois's history with men to know that she was gun-shy. And rightfully so. Some of the stories that he'd heard had made him want to strangle the men that had been so mean to her. But Lois knew him well enough to trust him, didn't she? He would never treat her badly. They were best friends, and partners ... and now more. Clark squared his jaw. He couldn't let her think he was just after a one night stand. She needed to know that he wasn't like the others, that he cared more about her than he'd ever cared about any woman, and that he would do anything for her. The only problem was that he wasn't quite sure how to convince her of that. Clark thought he knew Lois well enough to know when she was just putting on a show to hide her true feelings. And it was clear that her bravado this morning meant her walls were going back up ... the very walls that he had been so careful about breaking down. It had taken him so long to get this far, to get this close to her, to become her friend. Lois had let Clark see a side of her that almost no one else had seen ... and Clark couldn't bear the thought of those walls going up again because of something he'd said or done. Yet he had seen them go back up right before his eyes this morning, and it terrified him. He wanted to tell her everything -- how he'd been in love with her practically since the day he'd met her and how he couldn't imagine his life without her. But even with his lack of experience with women, Clark knew this would probably just scare her off completely. The disastrous results of his previous confession of love, when Lois was about to marry Lex Luthor, had taught him that. So all that was left was to be nice to her, to show her with words and deeds that he wasn't going anywhere, that he cared about her and wanted to be her friend ... and hopefully more. As Clark dressed and headed into the kitchen to find some food for them, he just wished he could get rid of the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach. Because as worried as he was about not hurting Lois, Clark couldn't help but feel like his own heart could get broken very, very easily. ***** Lois emerged from the bathroom several minutes later, dressed in Clark's sweats and impatient to leave his apartment as quickly as she possibly could. She had barreled into the living room, found her loafers, and was now hopping around, trying to place them on her feet without slowing down, when she saw Clark watching her from the kitchen. "Lois? I think we need to talk." Having psyched herself up in the bathroom to make a quick get-away, it was easy to slip into full assault mode. "I'm sorry, Clark. I know we do, but it's past eleven! I still need to shower and get dressed -- at least I missed rush hour -- and then we gotta see if there is any new information since last night. I've really got to get moving!" "Lois ... I know that last night was ... unexpected, and we might be feeling a bit weird around each other, but-- but I really want to tell you --" "Clark, last night was great, but we're both late for work and I really don't have time right now ... another time, Ok?" She turned towards him, flashing him a brief, placating smile ... and paused at the distressed look on his face. Oh, God, he actually looked ... hurt? But that was impossible. He should be looking relieved that she was trying to leave quickly. It saved him the trouble of having to make up an excuse to shoo her out. Unless last night had actually ... meant something to him. Looking past him, Lois was shocked to find eggs, toast and juice set out for two on Clark's kitchen table. He really had made her breakfast? But ... guys only *say* they are going to do that. It's one of those things that they offer out of politeness and you're supposed to turn down. They never actually *do* it! "Um, I made you something to eat ... I know you said you didn't have time, but I don't want you to just run off." She hesitated. "Well, maybe just a piece of toast ... I'll eat it in the car ..." She trailed off as she saw the pained look in his eyes. What was she doing? She was doing to him just what she didn't want to have happen to her. "Clark ... I'm sorry. I'm -- I'm not being very nice." He smiled, more than a little sadly. "No, Lois ... if you don't want to be here--" "No! I mean ... I don't know what I mean. This is just so awkward." She looked down, unable to meet his eyes. Clark sighed. "I know ... and I'm sorry ... I don't want it to be. Lois, that's why we need to talk about it." When she didn't respond, he continued. "Look, I want you to know that I didn't plan for last night to happen ... that wasn't why I invited you in." "I know." "And I know that you didn't plan it either. It just ... happened. And it shouldn't have happened, I know that, too." Lois froze, feeling like all the blood just left her face. Well, here it was, the big kiss-off. She didn't need this, not now, not ever. "Goodbye, Clark." She turned towards the door, mentally kicking herself for not leaving earlier. Before she had taken a step though, he was next to her, taking hold of her arm. "Lois, please, that's not what I meant. God, I'm not saying this right." She stopped but refused to look at him, her anger starting to brew once more. "What I mean is ... oh, hell, Lois. What I'm trying to say ... *badly* ... is that while I didn't mean for last night to happen, I can't be very sorry that it did because ... because ... I care about you ... a lot." Lois blinked in surprise and looked up at him. "You do?" she whispered. "Yeah," he nodded softly. "I do ... and I was hoping that maybe ... you cared about me, too?" Lois sighed heavily. "Oh, Clark. I do care about you ... you're my best friend, which is why this is so complicated! If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't be worried about how our friendship is going to survive this. I would be out the door and you'd be relieved and we'd never have to see each other again." "But Lois, that's what I *don't* want. I don't want you to just run out the door and for us to never address this. What happened, happened. And I don't think we should ignore it." "Clark ..." she began apologetically. "Lois," he interrupted, "I'm not very good at this ... I don't know how I'm supposed to act in these situations. I've never *been* in a situation like this. I'm not interested in one night stands ... and I'm afraid that's all you think this was for me." That stopped her. "Well," she responded slowly, "I'm not sure what it was for you." Clark raked a hand through his hair. "Well, why don't I tell you?" He took a deep breath, and looked into her eyes. "Lois, I have feelings for you. Strong feelings, romantic feelings. And I would really like for us to go out ... not just as friends but on a real date." Finally, he had said something that earned him a genuine smile. "Really?" He smiled back. "Really." The relief that Lois felt was so overwhelming that she launched into a full babble. "Oh, Clark, I know I have a tendency to act first and think later, and I'm really sorry if I wasn't very nice to you this morning, especially since you were so sweet to make me breakfast and everything. It's just that I've been hurt before and when we woke up together this morning, I was just so shocked ... and you seemed shocked, too, and I thought that maybe you were going to regret it, so I started to regret it, but now it seems clear that you don't ..." Lois took a deep breath and smiled shyly as she finally wound down. "So, I guess what I'm saying is that, yeah ... a date would be nice." Unfortunately, by this time, Clark was only half-listening. Instead, he was cursing his luck ... and Superman. He had heard a call for back-up on a passing police scanner earlier this morning, when Lois was in the bathroom. But he'd ignored it, after a moment's hesitation, because the officers seemed to be in control of the situation ... and truth be told, he was feeling too sorry for himself and too concerned over what he was going to say to Lois to be very interested in being Superman. But that call had just escalated into a potential hostage and shoot-out situation. One police officer was already down. He *really* needed to go. Now. "Um ... actually, Lois. You know what? I think you're right; it is getting late. Perry is going to have our heads for coming in at noon." He spoke quickly, starting to move them towards the door. "Why don't you head home and take your shower, and I'll do the same. We'll meet at the Planet, and we can talk about this later, Ok?" Lois blinked. Was he really trying to rush her out the door? Just when she'd taken him up on his offer to start dating? After his speech about caring about her ... now he was giving her the cold shoulder?? Lois's face burned. She'd been had by a master. All that Kansas charm ... and she'd walked right into it. She just stood there for a moment, in shock. Well, if he wanted her out, she certainly wasn't going to stick around. "Sure, Clark ... whatever. See ya later." And with her head held high, she turned on her heel and walked out, not daring to look back. If she had, she would have seen a very distressed Clark, visibly torn and feeling extremely helpless. ***** Lois made her way down the walk to her car, still parked on the street where she left it last night. Willing her hand to stop shaking, she opened the door. Slipping into the seat, she tossed her purse next to her. Only then did she look back at his apartment. Maybe he'd had a change of heart ... maybe he was coming down after her to say good-bye ... to kiss her.... But he wasn't even waving from the front step. Lois's heart crept into her throat and she shut her eyes tight against the hot tears that threatened. No, she wouldn't cry. He wasn't worth it. She didn't need him ... she got along just fine before Clark Kent walked into her life, and she would get along just fine without him. But it would be a lot easier if her heart didn't ache every time she looked at him. ***** Lois entered the Daily Planet building at 12:40 p.m. It wasn't the first time she'd come in at lunch time, especially after staying late the night before on a story. But it was the first time in a long while that she'd had butterflies in her stomach at the prospect of whom she might see at work. As the ding of the elevator announced her arrival in the newsroom, Lois strode purposefully towards her desk. She paused briefly as she passed Clark's desk, noticing that he had beaten her in, but was not in view at the moment. Her anger simmered again as she remembered their final conversation, how he had cajoled her into letting her defenses down, then rushed her out the door. Staying this angry was difficult, but Lois knew the alternative would be to feel sorry for herself, and she didn't have time for that right now. Despite herself, she looked around the newsroom for Clark, covertly trying to see if anyone was staring at her and whispering. She didn't think Clark would have been gossiping at work about their night together, but at this point, she was having a hard time knowing what to believe about anyone. As she swept her gaze past the windows of Perry's closed office, Lois found her partner. Clark was standing with his back to the door, in front of Perry's desk, talking to their editor. Lois hesitated for just a moment outside the window, until Perry glanced out and made eye contact with her. She flushed as she caught him looking at his watch, and she scurried to get to work. Lois's eyes widened as she walked around to her desk. In the middle of her workspace sat a bouquet of red roses. Her heart started pounding nervously as she looked for a card. Surprisingly, she couldn't find one, but she assumed they were from Clark -- after all, who else would send her roses today? Lois sat down heavily in her chair and sighed. All of this back and forth, up and down ... it was exhausting. She just didn't have the energy to deal with it anymore. She pushed the flowers to one side and turned on her computer. While it was booting up, she checked her voice mail, scribbling notes furiously as she tried to keep her mind off Clark and the events of the night before. ***** Lois had already made two phone calls to contacts at the police station and was typing up the beginnings of a follow-up story on the arrest of Capone and his gang when Clark exited Perry's office and walked over to her desk. Lois tensed as he approached, but pretended to be so engrossed in her story that she didn't even notice he was there. She hoped that he might get the hint and just leave her alone, but she wasn't that lucky. Clark sat down in her guest chair and flashed her a warm smile. "Hi," he whispered. "Hi, Clark," she replied absently, intent on ignoring him. "Glad to see you got in Ok," he continued, his eagerness to talk all too apparent. "Mmm," was all she said, keeping her eyes on her story. "Uh ... I just got in myself. I've been talking with Perry." "That's nice ... I take it he has a story for us and sent you over here to get me?" Clark paused, confused by her "strictly business" tone. She hadn't talked to him this way since ... well, not in a very long time. Clark looked around, trying to see if there was anyone within earshot, someone Lois wouldn't want overhearing a potentially private conversation, but he didn't see anyone. "No," Clark replied slowly, "he was just saying how glad he was to have me back, glad I was alive and everything." That seemed to get through, causing Lois to falter in her typing. Clark took the opportunity to continue, a bit more animatedly. "Perry said we did a great job on the story last night. He said it showed 'real dedication' that we stayed so late to write everything up, especially after what we've gone through the last few days." "Well, it is our job," Lois responded dismissively, as if they had no personal involvement in the story whatsoever. They sat in silence for a long awkward moment, Lois going back to her typing and pretending that she didn't notice Clark staring at her with a confused expression on his face. Suddenly, Clark perked up. "Oh, I have something for you," he said, reaching into his suit jacket pocket and pulling out a small white envelope. He handed it to her with a shy smile. "It was supposed to go with the flowers, but I thought maybe you wouldn't want the card to be just left on your desk ... you know, in case anyone else saw it or whatever." Lois took the paper reluctantly, still not daring to meet his eyes. "Oh, I was wondering who the flowers were from," she answered non-committally. She opened the envelope slowly and swallowed hard when she read the card. The words "Thank you for being you" had been penned in Clark's neat script. Lois felt her heart begin to melt all over again, but forced herself to remain composed. Was this just another part of the game? Did he feel he had to let her down easy? But ... he wasn't doing that. He was bringing her flowers and sitting next to her, not avoiding her and acting distant. This was so confusing. Clark acted like he was eager to be with her, yet Lois was still stinging from his mood swing this morning. No, best to choose her words carefully. "Thank you, Clark. They're beautiful ... and it was very sweet of you," she responded slowly. Clark smiled, relaxing a bit. "You're welcome. I know we didn't have much time to talk this morning, but I meant what I said about wanting us to go out, and I was thinking that if you had time later--" Lois tensed once more. Here it was, the pity date. He'd made it clear when he rushed her out the door how little this date meant to him. Well, she was going to save them both the trouble. "Clark, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I *really* have to get going on this story. I have so much work to do and I really don't have time to talk about this. As a matter of fact, I have so much going on in my life right now that I don't know when I'll be free in the evening. I just don't think this ... um ... whatever it is ... is going to work out." Clark looked like she had just slapped him in the face. "But--" "Clark, please ... I really have to get back to work. We'll catch up later." Stunned, hurt and uncomfortable, Clark stood up to leave. After a moment's hesitation, however, he turned back. "Lois?" "Hmm?" she asked, still refusing to take her eyes off the computer screen. "Lois, can you at least look at me? I know this isn't the place to talk about last night but ... are you mad at me? 'Cause I'm feeling a bit ... rejected here." That got her attention. Rejected?? *He* was feeling rejected? Of all the ... Lois whirled around to face him, her eyes flashing. She had just opened her mouth to really let him have it when Perry's door flew open. "Lois! Clark!" their editor barked. "In my office. Now!" Lois closed her mouth, replacing the words that were about to flow with a glare that said almost as much. Clark stood, stunned, as she rose from her chair and brushed past him angrily on her way towards Perry's office. Clark paused for a moment, gathering himself before following her through the open doorway. He had no idea why she was acting this way. A couple of hours ago, she had been opening up. She had seemed genuinely interested in going out with him. And now ... this? He knew she was unhappy about the way he had made his excuse this morning about needing to get ready for work. He knew from the way she'd turned and walked out that she was hurt by his suggestion that they talk more about their date later. But surely that wouldn't make her this upset? Clark sighed miserably as he walked slowly towards Perry's office. It most certainly *did* make her this upset, that much was clear. And he had no idea how to apologize without giving away his secret. Unfortunately, the prospect of confiding in Lois right now made Clark very uneasy. Her rejection this morning had shaken him deeply and had left him feeling very vulnerable. Even though his head knew that Lois's own fears had caused her reaction, his heart was telling him to protect himself. No, he simply couldn't risk telling Lois about Superman until he knew where they stood. For the second time that day, Clark cursed his alter-ego. And as he took a seat in Perry's office, observing that Lois was once more refusing to even look at him, he despaired of ever being able to tell him that there was so much more to him than she knew. ***** "Lois, so good of you and Clark to join us this afternoon." Perry's tone was somber for a moment, but he quickly broke into a disarming smile. "I was just telling Clark here that you two did a hell of a job last night with Capone and his gang. Actually, I, uh, didn't expect either one of you to come in at all today. Once you LANed in your copy last night, I figured you'd both be so exhausted, you'd need a day to come down." Perry cocked an eyebrow at them in question. Lois just shifted uncomfortably in her chair, unsure of what to say. When she caught the hint of concern in Perry's eyes, however, she knew she had to respond. "Oh, Perry, you know us. If we didn't come in to the Planet, what would we do?" She waved her hand dismissively and tried to give a casual laugh, but flashes of last night's encounter with Clark threatened to derail her train of thought. Despite herself, she glanced over at her partner, noticing that his expression betrayed that he, too, was experiencing a similar form of deja-vu. Lois narrowed her eyes and fixed him with a look that defied him to say a single word on the subject. Clark swallowed as he saw the look Lois gave him. Ok, she was angry; she'd made that clear. But did she have to keep glaring at him like that? Didn't she know what she was doing to him? But still ... a moment before she'd turned away, Clark was sure he'd seen a hint of fear in her expression. Clark frowned thoughtfully. He thought he understood why Lois might have been nervous this morning at his apartment, but why would she be afraid at work? "Son? Are you all right?" Perry's fatherly tone broke Clark from his pondering and he glanced up, sporting a weak imitation of a smile. "Yeah, Chief, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I guess I got a bit ... preoccupied there for a second." He glanced quickly, almost imperceptibly, at Lois. She was looking away, but Clark could see her shoulders tense up. "All right." Perry nodded as though he wasn't at all convinced, but was willing to allow the matter to pass. "Well, since you're both here and ready to work," Perry continued, switching effortlessly from 'father mode' into 'editor mode', "I have an assignment for you." ***** "I don't *believe* this," Lois muttered under her breath as she sat behind the wheel of her Jeep Grand Cherokee, her hands clenching the steering wheel as if she wanted to crush it. Clark cleared his throat beside her. It was nearly dark, causing the city lights to flow surreally into one another as the vehicle sped along the highway towards its destination. "It's not *that* bad," Clark began. Lois, however, obviously didn't agree, and she quickly rounded the corner into a residential neighborhood, squealing the tires. To her credit, however, she slowed as they neared their target, and even managed a quiet stop next to the curb. She shut down the headlights without comment. They sat in silence for several long moments, the only interruption coming when Lois dug into a bag in her backseat, pulled out a pair of binoculars and practically shoved them at Clark. He waved them off just as silently, flicking his wrist to indicate his refusal to take them. Clark sighed and looked out the window. This was how it had been all day between them. He kept trying to talk to her, but each effort earned him a response more stony than the last. He'd finally given up after purchasing sandwiches for the two of them from the deli across the street from the Planet. He'd assumed that they would eat their meal together in the car, the way they usually did when heading out for a stakeout. But Lois had simply delivered a curt 'thank you' and returned to her desk to eat alone. In a way, Clark envied Lois her anger; it seemed to be a more productive emotion. His own feelings were alternating between depression and hurt, and he had found it almost impossible to concentrate on anything besides feeling sorry for himself. This was most certainly not the way Clark had pictured the after-effects of love making. As much as he tried to push it away, one thought kept forcing its way into his mind: that all these years, he had saved himself for a woman who would make him feel special, for a woman he could trust. But instead, he had thrown it all away on the woman whom he'd thought was the one ... yet now she seemed to hate him. He had given his virginity ... for this. Suddenly, Clark became angry, too. Very angry. How *dare* she? She was angry at him for not wanting to talk more this morning, when he'd practically had to force her to talk in the first place! She was angry at him for admitting he was feeling rejected when all she had done since this morning was reject him! This time, when Lois shifted in her seat, muttering some complaint about Perry and his assignments, Clark responded bitterly. "You know, if you don't want to be here, I can handle this myself." "Yeah, I'm sure you'd like to be rid of me," she retorted sarcastically. That was the last straw. Clark turned towards her, his patience long since gone. "That's it! I'm done tiptoeing around you, Lois. What *is* it with you? Tell me, because I really need to know." She whirled to face him. "With me? With *me*?" "Yes, with *you*. Just tell me, so I don't have to keep guessing. Obviously something happened today between late this morning, when you agreed to go out with me, and lunch time, when you decided that you hated my guts!" "Will you stop bringing up that stupid date?! I know what's going on here, and you don't have to keep pretending. We both know you weren't serious about it, so let's just drop it." Clark's jaw dropped as he sputtered in response. "Not serious? Not serious?!? I've never been more serious about anything in my life. I meant what I said, Lois, and I don't appreciate you telling me that I didn't." "Oh, yeah?? Then how come you panicked when I asked when we would be going out? Because you never expected me to say yes, that's why!" "What are you talking about?? I didn't panic; I was happy!" "Oh, give me a break. You were nervous and distracted ... you practically shoved me out the door." Clark took a deep breath. So that had been the reason. She thought ... she thought that he.... Oh, God, this was such a mess. "Look, Lois ... I didn't mean -- that wasn't what I was doing." "Yeah," she said, turning back towards the window and away from him. "Right." Clark felt his anger fade as he heard the pain in her voice. She was hurting, too ... it wasn't just him. "Lois ..." he said softly, "I'm sorry. Hey, come on ... look at me." When she didn't respond, he reached out and brushed his fingers over the side of her cheek. She flinched at his touch and his heart sank. Clark pulled his hand back. "Look, we need to talk this out." "Why? Why do you care, Clark? Why do you keep going over and over this, when it's obvious that it didn't matter to you? Does it make you happy to see that I'm upset?" She fixed him with an intense stare that was part anger, part desperation. "Fine, I admit it; I'm upset and I'm ... confused ... and I'm ... I'm sorry that I ever let myself believe that you cared." She let out a rueful half-laugh. "Why is it that I'm always the fool men find so easy to humiliate? It's like they take sport in it or something." Unable to hold back her tears any longer, Lois let them fall as she spoke. "So, congratulations, Clark Kent. You win. You get first prize." She turned away again, staring out of the driver's side window, heedless of the warm tear tracks which grew longer with each passing second. Clark closed his eyes for a moment, willing her to understand. "Lois ... it's not like that; I didn't mean for it to come across that way. Believe me, I meant every word I said this morning. I do care about you ... and I never wanted to hurt you. Maybe it did seem like I was rushing you out the door, and I'm sorry for that. But it had nothing to do with my panicking, or hoping you were going to say no, or--" Lois cut him off, her voice weary. "Save it, Clark. Honestly, it's fine. I know the game; I've been a player before, remember? You don't have to make something up. I've heard most of it already anyway, so do yourself a favor and don't bother." She tried to clear her throat but it came out as a quiet sob. Clark sighed heavily and sat back in his seat, defeated. "Don't bother what, Lois? Don't bother caring about you?" he asked softly. "Don't bother wanting you in my life? Or don't bother thinking about you all the time?" Clark's voice grew husky with emotion. "Because I do ... think about you all the time. Even when I tell myself not to ... even when it's clear that you don't care about me the way I care about you." Perhaps it was the way Clark spoke -- quietly, yet with such intensity -- or perhaps it was the unfamiliar sound of sorrow in his cadence; Lois wasn't sure. But somehow, at some point during his response, she had to turn around to meet his eyes. "You know, just because I'm a man doesn't mean I can't feel rejected. You feel like I hurried you out the door, and I apologize for that. But you ..." Clark's voice cracked as he continued. "You made it clear you wanted to leave from the minute you woke up this morning. You made it clear you regretted last night and didn't want to be there with me." He paused, trying desperately to get a tighter grip on his runaway emotions. "I guess I'm just saying that you're not the only one who's hurt, that's all." Lois swallowed. She had been trying *not* to think of things from his point of view all day ... but once she was honest with herself, she knew all the signs were there. He had been telling the truth all along, but her fears and defenses wouldn't let her see or believe it. "I'm ... I'm sorry, Clark. For acting the way I did this morning. You're right; it wasn't very nice. I'm sorry I hurt you." She spoke slowly, as if testing out the words as she said them. But the honesty was there. Clark looked up at her and smiled a little. He sniffled, a bit embarrassed that he'd gotten so emotional in the first place. Maybe Perry was right and he did need more than one day to recover from his ordeal. He certainly wasn't normally this raw emotionally; far from it. "Ok," he said with a nod, trying to convey to her that he was willing to forgive, if she was. She was. "Ok," she said back, sniffling more loudly than he had. She wiped her hand over her face, trying to clear the tears away with a little laugh. He laughed with her, then grew more serious as he faced her once more. "Lois ... I'm not one of those players you talked about. If this is a game, I don't know the rules. I haven't been in very many relationships. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do." Lois shook her head ruefully. "That's what makes this so complicated, Clark. We're not in a relationship." "Maybe we should be." He fixed her with an sober stare. Lois looked uncomfortable. "Clark ..." Clark sighed wearily and sat back. "Lois, I know what I'm feeling, but the more we talk, the more I realize I have no idea what you're feeling. Tell me, please," he pleaded. "How do you feel about this?" Clark felt his emotions build inside him once more as long moments passed without any response. Lois's silence spoke volumes, even though he didn't want to hear what it was saying. He remembered back several months ago, to an earlier time when he'd revealed his feelings to her, only to have her explain that she didn't return them. Clark ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. "I can't believe I did this again," he whispered. "I can't-- "I'm scared, Clark." Lois blurted out the words as though she'd been keeping them bottled up for centuries, cutting him off. He opened his eyes in surprise, and looked at her hopefully. Scared was better than instant rejection ... wasn't it? "You asked me about my feelings," Lois continued. "The problem is, sometimes I think I'm too scared to know. My heart is telling me to just rush right in and let myself feel all the things I'm feeling, to enjoy being with you and to just let things happen. But my head ... my head keeps reminding me of all the times that I've gotten hurt." She looked at him pleadingly. "Don't you see, Clark? At work, I'm rewarded for jumping in with both feet -- I do that on a story and I'm a success. But, when I jump into a relationship with a man ..." She dropped her head and whispered the rest so softly Clark might not have heard her if he hadn't engaged his enhanced hearing. " ... well, it's always been a disaster." Clark's heart ached as he watched her retreat into herself. He longed to take her in his arms and show her that, with him, there would be no regrets, that she would be cherished. But his own fears wouldn't let him do that. Not yet. He sighed softly. "Maybe you just haven't found the right man to jump with." Lois looked up and shook her head ruefully. "Well, that's pretty much obvious, isn't it?" Clark tried to smile, but all he managed was a sad nod. "But with the right guy ..." He paused and met her eyes. Seeing her doubt, he continued, "Look, Lois, I'm scared, too. I really am. But I want this to work with us. I think we have something ... something I can't even describe ... something *real*. Being with you has touched something inside me." "Sex has a way of doing that, Clark--" He cut her off immediately, shaking his head vehemently. "No! Absolutely not." He looked into her eyes as he continued, imploring her to understand. "I'm talking about feelings here, not just what happened last night. Lois, last night was very special for me because of what I feel for you -- what I have felt for you for a long time. Maybe it was 'just sex' for you, but it ... it was a lot more to me." Lois pulled back and cupped her face with her hands. "Oh, this is just so confusing!" she exclaimed in frustration. Clark sighed and sat back. "I know ... I know ... and I don't mean to push. It's just ... I don't want to lose this. I'm willing to slow down, Lois. I am. How about -- How about we start dating and just see what happens?" "I don't know ..." "One date, then," he offered. "One ... that's all I ask. Give me a chance to wine and dine you, to show you I'm serious about this. Please?" At her hesitation, he continued, reaching for something that would hopefully convince her that he meant what he said. "No sex, I promise." Lois first looked surprised, then doubtful. From the look she gave him, she obviously had heard that line before. "Lois, I'm serious ... let's agree. Nothing *happens*, even if the date is great and we both want to. Let's pretend that last night didn't even take place and I'm asking you out for the first time. No history, no strings." "Uh-huh." Lois regarded him cynically, still unconvinced. Clark took a deep breath then looked her straight in the eye. "Lois Lane, would you go out with me?" he asked sincerely. "You're really serious about this?" Lois looked a little perplexed ... and more than a little hopeful. "I've never been more serious about anything in my entire life. Lois, go out with me. Please?" When she didn't respond, he smiled and added hopefully, "Pretty please?" He held her gaze until Lois couldn't help but smile back, unable to keep the little girl giggle out of her voice as she finally answered. "Ok. One date." His smile lit up the car. "Great." Lois laughed, relieved the tension between them was finally broken, and they had gotten back on track. Clark held out his hand. "No pressure, I promise," he reasserted. "No pressure," she agreed as she shook his outstretched hand. They each felt the sparks as their palms connected, and they stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. Lois nearly shivered at the energy she felt from him -- there was definitely something there -- something ... wow. She could see in his eyes that he felt it, too. Slightly embarrassed, they slowly pulled their hands apart and dropped their eyes, chuckling nervously. Lois broke the silence. "So, um, when?" "Well, since we've already totally messed up this assignment," Clark began, grinning ruefully at her and following her inevitable gaze outside towards their intended target -- the seemingly vacant house which remained to remind them they'd ignored it for nearly an hour. "We could skip out and get some dinner." Lois frowned. "I'm not feeling very ... festive tonight." After a pause, she continued, a little awkwardly, "You know, after all this." Clark acquiesced. "Mmm, good point." Lois pursed her lips in thought. "How about tomorrow?" Clark sighed as he mentally reviewed his calendar. 'Clark' was free ... but 'Superman' had a neighborhood watch meeting. "Um. Actually, I'm a little busy tomorrow ... the night after that? Thursday?" Lois deflated a bit more. "I have my Tai Kwon Do class on Thursday." "Oh ... well ... hmm." Clark sat, thinking. Lois shrugged as casually as she could manage. "You know, it's Ok. We'll figure something out. Maybe next week," she finished offhandedly. Clark felt a surge of disappointment mixed with panic. They were so close ... what if he let her go this time and never got another chance? "No!" he exclaimed, causing Lois to jump in surprise. He looked embarrassed and continued, more quietly. "I'm sorry ... I mean, let's do it tomorrow. I'll cancel my plans." "You don't have to." She looked up hopefully. "I know; I want to." He returned her look with one of his own. "Well, Ok. Tomorrow." Lois smiled shyly and Clark felt his heart leap in his chest. "Tomorrow. Great; what if I--" Lois cut him off suddenly with a softly hissed intonation. "Shhh. Clark, look! They're back." Lois gestured towards the window and, sure enough, she was right. Through the glass, Clark could make out the figures of two men exiting a Lincoln Town Car down the block and proceeding towards the residence. If they were back, it meant that there might be a story here yet. Picking up the binoculars she had placed between them, Lois adjusted the focus until she had a good view of the shady duo through her car window. A moment later, she turned to hand the instrument to Clark and caught him peering out the window over the tops of his glasses. Smiling, she tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. "These might help." She winked as she handed him the binoculars and Clark looked appropriately chagrined. "Thanks." He took the offering, pretending to adjust them to suit his own vantage point. "Do you see anything?" Lois asked while he worked. "Not really. They're just standing there in front of the door talking." "I wish we could make out what they're saying!" she muttered, leaning closer to her window and peering into the darkness. "The shipment won't be in until Thursday," Clark mumbled as he recited what his super hearing had picked up. Lois quickly turned around and raised her eyebrows. "You lip read that from here?!?" she exclaimed. "Boy, I thought I was good ..." Clark dropped the binoculars to his lap. "Uh, I, uh ... yeah. A little, I mean, I could only catch what the one guy was saying because the other guy was turned away." He cleared his throat as Lois looked at him quizzically. "You never cease to amaze me, Mr. Kent." After a moment, she simply shook her head and picked up his fallen binoculars, pressing them to her own eyes and continuing the watch. Clark sighed. That had been too close. But perhaps not close enough? If things really were back on track between him and Lois, she deserved to know the truth, and, if so, he wanted nothing in the world more than to tell her. It was just ... timing. The wrong words at the wrong moment, and he could lose everything. He'd finally gotten her to go out with him -- assuming there weren't any new misunderstandings to mess things up -- and he could no longer deny that he loved her, intensely. Clark knew -- *knew* -- that he should tell her as soon as possible. But as guilty as the situation made him feel, part of him wanted to delay just a bit longer. He just wanted this date ... this one date. Was that so wrong? And then, if things went well, he would just tell her when the time was right and she'd ... Oh, Lord, who was he kidding?! There is no right time to tell your best friend that you've been lying to her for a year and a half! "What time?" Lois's quiet voice jolted Clark from his thoughts. "What?" he managed, stifling a gasp. He hadn't been thinking out loud ... Oh, no, please-- "Our date. You said tomorrow ... what time?" Before he could answer, Lois groaned in frustration as the two men entered the house and shut a large door behind them. Removing the binoculars from her eyes, she set them down in her lap and turned towards Clark instead. "They're probably going to be in there for a while. I didn't see them exchange any money either. I have a feeling this may not have been the most productive assignment." "Oh, I wouldn't say that." They both smiled as Lois caught both his eye and his meaning. "Well ..." she began softly, finally at a loss for words. She dropped her head and Clark could tell she was blushing as she brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "How about seven?" he asked, relieving both the tension and the question of when. "Seven," she repeated. "Seven is good. Ok. Should I dress up or dress down? You know, that's a question people don't usually ask before a first date, and you never know where you're going to end up, and what you're wearing really *can* make a difference sometimes, right?" She'd launched into full babble mode and Clark couldn't help but grin. He let out a short breath which was almost a laugh. "Lois--" he cut in softly. She looked up at him with large, luminous eyes. "Wear ... anything you'd like. You look beautiful no matter what you wear." His eyes betrayed the sincerity of his admission, though the corners of his mouth had turned up into a teasing smile. Lois shook her head in awe. Once again, she had practically been swept off her feet by an innocent remark from her partner. What in the world was happening to her? "Oh, Clark," Lois simply whispered, searching his eyes for any hint of trickery and thankfully finding none. It didn't seem possible that she could feel so much, all at once, for one person, yet she did. And it seemed even less likely that any man could return her feelings honestly. Yet Clark wasn't showing any of the tell-tale signs she'd come to know far too well; at least, not right now. Was this too good to be true? Could she really trust him? Dare she let herself admit that she ... that she could still smell his aftershave when she closed her eyes? That she remembered the way his warm skin felt against her lips? And the way his lips felt against her.... "You know what, Clark? I think we'd better call it a night," Lois whispered, swallowing hard. Clark sat up straighter. Had he said or done something wrong? Again? "But the assignment? Shouldn't we wait? You don't think they are going to come out soon?" "Nope." She tossed him a quick smile, placed one hand on the steering wheel in front of her and started the car. "No, I think we'd better get ourselves back to our apartments and out of this car." As the car moved slowly down the dark street and turned onto the main road, a worried Clark shifted over in his seat, watching her with no small amount of wariness. "But you're still going out with me, right?" he asked slowly. Lois laughed, a loud, hearty laugh. "Yes, Clark. God help me but I wouldn't miss it for the world." Clark quirked an eyebrow at her. "I don't want to know what you meant by that, do I? " She flashed him a brilliant smile. "No. But it wouldn't matter, because I'm not going to tell you." "Oh, geez, now I know I'm in trouble!" ***** Clark Kent had a hard time keeping the grin off his face as he walked to work Wednesday morning. Lois was actually going out with him -- tonight! He'd been waiting, hoping for this day for so long, and now it was actually going to happen. They had certainly taken a round-about way to get here. If someone had told Clark last week what would transpire in the next seven days, he would have told them they were crazy. The last several days had been the most frustrating, horrifying ... and amazing days of his life. To think that after all he'd gone through to get his life back after being 'shot', he would discover that Lois had romantic feelings for him. It made him infinitely more grateful that he'd been able to come up with the story that allowed him to become himself again. Clark furrowed his brow slightly as he reflected on the unusual events which had led he and Lois to declare their feelings for each other. They had made love; he had made love to Lois! And it had been amazing, incredible, wonderful ... and unintentional. His emotions were still conflicted on that subject. It had been awe-inspiring, yes, but he couldn't shake the feeling that it hadn't been right. He hadn't taken advantage of her, of that he was positive. She had been a completely willing participant -- so willing that it was he who had followed her lead into the bedroom. Going over it again and again in his mind -- a very pleasant distraction, to be sure -- convinced Clark that he had done nothing to pressure Lois into her actions. That assurance was a huge relief, but it didn't completely absolve his guilt. Neither of them had really been thinking too clearly that night. Lois had been tired and on an emotional rollercoaster, just as he had been. Even Clark's super body became taxed after forty-eight hours with no sleep. But Clark knew it wasn't just the physical exhaustion that had made him so vulnerable, so completely unable to stop himself from getting swept up in the tidal wave of feelings that had occurred when he and Lois had begun to kiss and touch each other. No, he'd dealt with extreme physical stress before and, with effort, had always been able to keep his mind relatively clear. What had proved more difficult was the emotional stress Clark had been under this week. It had been a torrent of worry, fear and doubt. And when that stress was finally relieved ... it acted like a euphoria-causing drug on his already physically run down body. Of course, understanding why it had happened didn't completely assuage his guilt. Clark set high standards for himself and making love to Lois before they'd really become a couple, before she knew his secret ... well, that just wasn't something he'd never even imaged he'd be confronted with. Still, it had happened, and Clark was hard pressed to be able to regret it. It was not the way he had planned for the night to go, but if he hadn't invited Lois in, if they hadn't kissed in the rain ... who knew how much longer it might have taken them to admit they had feelings for each other? As he pushed through the revolving door of the Daily Planet building, Clark felt the grin on his face become more firmly entrenched. It felt good knowing that Lois did care about him, even if she was scared. He was scared, too, but it didn't stop him from being excited about tonight. He wanted -- no, needed -- everything to be perfect. He had to show Lois that he was serious about this, that as good as they were together as friends, they'd be even better romantically. So much was riding on this date. And to think he'd almost blown it all yesterday morning by rushing her out the door to be Superman! One thing was for certain, he now had even more to prove to Lois tonight. He had to 'wine and dine' her as he had promised in the car, and show her he was committed to their blossoming relationship. And one thing was for darn certain -- unless a *major* disaster hit Metropolis, there was no way he would allow Superman to mess up his date tonight. If there was one thing Clark's experiences this week had taught him, it was that second chances were precious and that you couldn't always count on "later". ***** Lois sighed as she looked out the car window. She had finally gotten a little bit of sleep last night, though she knew she still had a lot of catching up to do. Still, after everything she'd been through this week, she craved the normalcy of going to work on time, and had fought her early morning desire to blast her alarm clock into outer space and go back to sleep. After parking the car, however, Lois became less sure of that decision and hesitated before entering the building. Tonight was the night she and Clark were going to go out. Not just as friends -- they'd been doing that for months now -- but on a real date. That is, if they could keep from killing each other between now and seven o'clock. What was it with them, Lois wondered, that made them seem to thwart every attempt to get themselves together? First it was Clark's confession of his love for her after Lex Luthor had proposed marriage. Lois had rejected him, albeit gently, only to be completely unable to stop thinking about him as her engagement progressed. Then, when Lois was finally ready to confess that maybe she'd been too hasty in her dismissal of his feelings ... Clark told her that he hadn't been truthful in his declaration. It was enough to make her head swim -- even now, six months later, she still had no idea what to make of that entire disaster! Then two nights ago, her defenses completely broken down by her emotions, she and Clark had made love ... wonderful, beautiful love. She'd fallen asleep thinking it was a dream come true. Yet by the time she'd woken up, Lois had convinced herself that it was nothing more than a horrible mistake. Clark had seemed equally conflicted, first pledging his deeper feelings, then panicking and backing off, then approaching her once again. But however rocky the road to get them here, they were committed now. At least to tonight. One date, that was what he had asked, and what she had granted. To be sure, in her heart Lois hoped it would not end at just one date, but she couldn't allow herself to get excited, not yet. Things had been so very crazy this week, and she was worried that if she allowed herself to feel everything she was feeling ... it might drive her insane. These thoughts carried her up the elevator and into the newsroom -- alone. Despite her best intentions, Lois hadn't been able to stop herself from looking hopefully around the lobby, wondering if Clark would be arriving at the same time. But there was no sign of him, neither in the elevator nor in the newsroom when she finally made her way to her desk. What there was, however, was a large muffin. Lois did a double take, glancing around the newsroom to see if she was the victim of some odd joke. But there it was, sitting in the center of her desk, next to the roses that she had somehow managed to stop herself from throwing the trash can yesterday when she'd been so angry with Clark. Eyebrow cocked, Lois sat down at her desk and shot another glance around the newsroom for Clark. Not seeing him, she resigned herself to opening the small card that was propped up against the large pastry. As she read the card, the corners of Lois's mouth started to twitch. She fought it valiantly, but ultimately had to give up. Sitting back with a silly grin on her face, she broke off a part of the muffin and popped it into her mouth. Ok ... maybe she'd let herself get a little bit excited about tonight. ***** It was about a half an hour later that Clark Kent walked out of the stairway, fixing his tie and looking around to make sure no one had noticed anything suspicious. It wasn't his favorite way to start a morning, but he supposed that if he wanted to banish Superman this evening, he couldn't begrudge a rescue or two during the day. Noticing that Lois was at her desk and seemingly engrossed in her computer screen, Clark made a quick detour to the vending machine. Smiling, he soon approached his partner with a mug of coffee in one hand and a bottle of orange juice in the other. "Good morning, Lois," he offered, smiling brightly. "You get your choice this morning. Nasty caffeine or healthy vitamin C." Lois paused, then wrapped her hands around the coffee mug, imprisoning Clark's hand. He felt his heart rate increase. That electricity was always there when she touched him. She looked up at him with her eyes only, keeping her head bent toward the cup. "I'm notorious for choosing things that aren't good for me," she said, and then to his surprise, grabbed the bottle of orange juice with a grin. "But I think I'm due for a change." Clark leaned against the corner of her desk. "I hope it's a change you like, Lois," he said softly. "Me too," she whispered. She forced herself to stop staring into his eyes. "Thanks for breakfast," she added suddenly, indicating the empty muffin wrapper sitting on the opposite corner of her desk. "It was a very ... original gift." The corners of her mouth twitched once again. Clark grinned. "Well, as I said in the card, I couldn't really top the romance of the roses from yesterday, so I thought I'd go for practical. Show you how multi-faceted I am." Lois found herself smiling back at him. "Do you do windows, too?" Clark took the bait. "Oh, like a pro!" he enthused. "I keep telling you, I'm the kind of guy you want to have around." Lois laughed. "I'm beginning to see that." She met his eyes once more, lowering her voice slightly. "And thank you for the flowers ... I didn't say it properly yesterday, but they really are beautiful." "Really?" His eyes twinkled. "It's hard to tell when you're sitting right next to them." Lois blushed despite her