The 2001 Artie Awards: A Kerth Ceremony Summary

By Artemis <jumpstick@earthlink.net>

Rating: G

Submitted: March 2001

Summary: A unique and funny perspective on the events of the Kerth Award Ceremony 2001.

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To read the chat and ceremony logs for the Kerth Awards 2001 which inspired the Arties, please go here: http://www.geocities.com/~chiefpam/2001_kerth_award_log.htm

You know how the Oscar telecast gets nominated for a TV Emmy? Well, here's my take on this year's 2001 Kerth Awards. In all modesty and to live one of *my* fantasies, I have dubbed them "The Arties".

In no particular order, they are:

BEST PRODUCER-HOST HYPHENATE:

Chief Pam — <ChiefPam> Mel, I advise you to avoid the chat channel…they're planning your painful demise <g>

BEST SOUND EDITOR:

AMCiotola

BEST AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:

RUNNER-UP:

The Streakers (and you know who you are)

WINNER:

Telling Melisma to move it along and quit torturing us

BEST AUDIENCE GRAMMAR MONITOR:

all4_mr_d ,James

MOST ELOQUENT CATEGORY PRESENTATION:

LabRat

SWEETEST CATEGORY PRESENTATION:

Merry Truitt

BEST DESCRIPTIVE CATEGORY PRESENTATION:

Helene

BEST NON-REVEALING CATEGORY PRESENTATION:

Melisma <vbg>

BEST SCREAM FOR WINNING:

Jessi Mounts

BRIEFEST CATEGORY PRESENTATION:

Chrispat

BEST AUDIENCE GUEST:

SuperDad

MOST HEART STOPPING MOMENT:

When KathyB went into labor. (Good prank, that)

BEST SURPRISE GUEST:

Clark Kent

SUPERBOWL WINNER:

Wendy for "For the Greater Good"

PRESENTER WHOSE MOTHER HAD THE WORST TIMING:

ErinFoLC

BEST COMMERCIAL:

Runner-up:

Dr. L's BABBLE-B-GONE by James Tull

Winner:

Priceless by ErinFoLC (extemporaneous)

BEST FILK:

Hazel

BEST NEW TERM:

You get the jpg! (you get the picture)

BEST DRESSED NEW AUTHOR:

(gown & tiara): ShayneT

MODERATOR WITH THE BEST TIMING (LOL):

Chrispat

BEST RETIREMENT SPEECH:

KathyB

BEST LINE ON CHAT BY SOMEBODY LATE TO THE PARTY:

Zoomway: geez, no wonder I'm not getting what's going on, I'm all by myself on #kertawards, har, anyone up for a kert?

WINNINGEST AUTHOR:

Wendy for Home for Christmas (Best Holiday), For the Greater Good (Best Tearjerker, Best Lost Episode, and Best Overall) and When Lightening Strikes Twice (Best Villain)

THE END