FIRST COMES MARRIAGE By ML Thompson Rated: PG-13 Submitted: August 2002 * * * * * * * * * No copyright infringement is intended. I recognize that the characters are not mine. I am just borrowing them for a little fun and not for any profit. My special thanks to the writers of 'Barbarians At The Planet' and 'House of Luthor' since I use scenes and dialogue from those episodes in my story. I also use portions from a lot of other episodes, sometime using these portions in context and sometimes using them out of context. The portions taken from the series include, but are not limited to, using actual words, phrases and/or sentences, paraphrasing, twisting sentences around to change the meaning, using larger segments and simply alluding to an idea. I sometimes have the same characters say or think a particular line, idea and/or segment and sometimes I give those lines, ideas and/or segments to someone else. Furthermore, I recognize that putting the above disclaimer on this story does not justify the breach of copyright and/or the breaches of trademark contained herein. I rely on two things to keep from being sued. First, the mercy of WB and any and all other holders of rights to the series, the individual episodes and/or the characters. Second, I rely on the fact that I am not deriving any profit from either the writing or the posting of this story. I tried something new with this story. I'd write a section and then send what I'd written to Gerry Anklewicz to get her comments. And it worked great. Thank you, Gerry, for pushing me, babying my ego and giving such great feedback and plot ideas. It was fun. And my thanks to Carol Malo for Beta reading this for me as well. As always, her input made this story better. And my thanks to Wendy Richards for her quick editing of this story for the archives. WARNING: This story contains adult themes and situations which might be unsuitable for younger readers. * * * * * * * * * FIRST COMES MARRIAGE By: ML Thompson August 2002 PG-13 * * * * * * * * * The large double bed could just be seen through the door to the bedroom, but for some reason Lois' eyes gravitated to it. She swallowed hard. She'd been in the honeymoon suite at the Lexor previously. She'd even slept in that bed before. But this time was different. She heard the man behind her paying the bellboy and closing the door. Somehow when she had accepted his proposal, she hadn't considered what would happen on their wedding night. She shook her head slightly. It was crazy. Obviously, he would expect to consummate their marriage. Still, she wondered if he was as nervous as she was. She could feel him come up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She tried to force herself to relax. She had been in his arms before. "It's going to be okay, Lois," he whispered. He moved his hand, brushing her hair aside so that he could place a kiss on her neck. She should have known better than to think that he would be nervous. He was a man, undoubtedly with more than enough experience. Still, she envied him his composure. She hadn't been with a man for several years. Even before then, she hadn't had many sexual encounters - but each and every one had qualified as a federal disaster. Now if the man standing behind her was Superman, she wouldn't be thinking about her past sexual experiences - she would be getting lost in the moment. But he wasn't Superman. No one knew that better than she. Her new husband might be a good man, but there was only one Superman. Unfortunately, he hadn't wanted her. She closed her eyes when his lips found a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. A small moan rose in her throat, but she fought it off. An instant later, she pulled away, almost resenting him for being able to provoke a reaction out of her. "I'm just going to go freshen up," she said, refusing to make eye contact as she grabbed her bag and headed to the washroom as quickly as possible without actually running. She closed the door, leaning up against it. She let out a breath of relief, even though she knew she had bought herself a temporary reprieve at best. She would eventually have to face him and... She closed her eyes tightly, trying to stop her entire body from trembling. * * * * * * * * * PREVIOUSLY * * * * * * * * * Lois glanced over at Clark as he walked silently beside her. She knew that look. It was the one that said he had something important to say. But she wasn't sure she had ever seen him look quite this nervous. After all, Clark didn't get nervous. He always maintained an even keel - much more so than she. She had invited him to meet her at LNN today because she hoped to lure him into accepting a job there. Yet he had found every reason not to accept - some of which were downright ludicrous. Then he'd told her that he had something to talk to her about and asked her to go somewhere private with him. That was why she now found herself walking beside him in the park, still having no idea what he might want to discuss with her. "When I thought about losing my job at the Daily Planet," Clark began slowly, seriously, "saying goodbye to Perry and Jimmy and everyone, I realized something. I realized that I could lose all that and still go on. I realized that there was really only one thing that I didn't want to live without and that..." He hesitated, being certain he had eye contact before continuing. "...was you. Seeing you every day, working with you, just being with you." Lois suddenly felt relieved. She felt exactly the same way. She couldn't imagine working without Clark, not seeing him every day, not spending time together. The way he had been acting had made her think that he had something to say that was going to turn her world upside down, as if anything could alter it any more than the events of the past few weeks already had. "Well, that's why you should come and be my partner," Lois responded enthusiastically. "No, Lois. Listen to me," Clark interrupted, leading her over to a park bench, his voice still slightly strained and very intense. "I'm not talking about partnership," he continued once they were seated. "I'm talking about... us." He paused slightly, looking directly into her eyes before continuing. "I have been in love with you for a long time," he said, emphasizing every word. Lois felt her heart do a slight flip. He couldn't possibly be doing what he seemed to be doing. Not now. Please, not now. Her life was in enough turmoil at the moment. "You had to have known," he continued when she didn't respond. Lois mentally closed her mouth. Realizing that he was waiting for a response, she began to speak, desperately searching for a response to a question which she had spent the past year trying not to consider. And a way not to hurt him in the process. "Well... I mean... I knew... I mean, I guess I knew... that you liked me... or were attracted to me," she finally managed to get out. She let out a breath. There was nothing to do now but to respond to his declaration. If only she had seen it coming, maybe she could have prevented it. But he had caught her blind-sided. "Oh, Clark," she said, hating herself for what she knew she was about to do to him, "I'm sorry. I just don't feel that way about you... romantically." Clark looked absolutely crushed, causing her to rush to continue. "You're my best friend... and the only partner I could ever stand to work with." He still looked as if she had just trampled on his dreams, so she continued. "I admire you and respect you and I do love you... as a friend." Even she could hear how hollow the final phrase sounded. It was the death knell of more than one outpouring of emotion. The problem was that, for Lois, it was the ultimate declaration of trust - something she did not give lightly. Still, the look on Clark's face informed her exactly how empty the words had come across. Clark rose and took a step away before turning to face her. "And what about Luthor?" he asked. "Do you love him?" "I don't know. I mean, I have feelings for him." His expression was almost an accusation and she could hear the words without him speaking them. "I haven't said 'yes' yet," she said in her own defense. She paused briefly, knowing Clark was going to hate her for the words she was about to say. Still, she plunged ahead. "And I won't until I talk it over with someone else," she said, diverting her eyes. "Who?" Clark asked. "I think you know who," Lois responded. She watched Clark look off into the distance as it sunk in what she was telling him. There was pain on his face, but he almost looked as if he found the situation ironic. "If you see him, will you tell him I'm looking for him?" she asked. Clark nodded in resignation. "Yeah," he responded softly. * * * * * * * * * Lois had gone through the rest of the work day in a daze. It felt as if her world was spinning out of control. Working at LNN was not the same as working at the Daily Planet. But she had thought that at least if she had Clark with her... But she had just made things worse. And, as a result, she'd probably lost her best friend. She got changed for bed. Clark must not have seen Superman today. Otherwise, she had no doubt that the Man of Steel would have come by before now. She took a seat on the sofa and picked up her current romance novel. But she didn't read. She simply stared at the words and tried to make sense of her life. It had all started a couple of weeks ago when, out of the blue, Lex Luthor had proposed to her. Then the Daily Planet had started having financial problems, and the layoffs had begun. Fortunately, Lex had stepped in, buying the Planet and promising that there would be no layoffs. The shattering of Lois' world had been averted. But that was before, a few days later, a bomb had decimated the Daily Planet. Given the financial problems the Planet had been having prior to the explosion, the damage to the Planet had been an insurmountable obstacle. Even Lex had been unable to put things back together. The new kid, Jack, had been blamed for the bombing, but Lois had serious doubts that he was responsible. But regardless of who was responsible, the Daily Planet was gone. Perry had decided to retire and Jimmy, Clark and she had all been left to find new jobs. Lex's original proposal had been flattering. But it wasn't until the Daily Planet had been destroyed that she had even seriously thought about accepting it. The destruction of the Planet had hit Lois as hard as the divorce of her parents. Her family had once again been torn from her - and, once again, she was helpless to do anything about it. Her thoughts drifted back to Lex. He had been fantastic through all of this. When she had gone to see him, to see if there was anything he could do to bring back the Planet, he had informed her that some things were beyond even him. Still, he'd offered her an alternative. First, he had reminded her of his proposal of marriage. She had been flattered, just as she had when he first proposed, but she wasn't the type to sit around planning dinner parties. He seemed to have anticipated that and had suggested a solution - a job at LNN. She had been skeptical at first, but the job wasn't going badly. It was no Daily Planet, but it was better than nothing. If only she had been able to persuade Clark to come work with her... Instead, he had told her that he'd never work for Lex Luthor and then he'd made things worse, by telling her that he loved her. How could he do that to her? How could he make her already shattered world make even less sense? She had to prepare herself for the very real possibility that she had lost her best friend today, in addition to everything else she'd lost. There was only one hope left - Superman. Maybe he could give her back something, some reason to continue to believe in the future. She felt as if she had been set adrift. She was totally alone in this world. She had lost her family years ago. Now she'd lost the only other place she had ever fit and she'd probably lost the best friend she'd ever had. For the first time in her life, facing the world alone was looking like a very scary prospect. She could no longer see her way clear. The future, which had always been alive with possibilities, was now closing in around her. She needed something, anything, that she could hold on to, something that would not sink in the uncertain seas that her life had suddenly become. * * * * * * * * * Clark paced his apartment. He had been crushed when Lois had told him she didn't share his feelings. He wasn't sure why. He should have known that was how she felt. He wasn't even sure what had possessed him to pour his heart out to her. It was just that between Luthor's proposal and the destruction of the Planet, the possibility that he was going to lose Lois terrified him. Besides, over the past year, he'd almost got the feeling that Lois felt more for him than she was willing to admit. It was a lot of little things. It was the way she easily slipped her arm through his or allowed him to edit her copy. It was the way she would run to him when she needed a friend. It was the way she would look at him when she didn't know he was watching. Yet, when he finally had the nerve to tell her how he felt, she hadn't even had to think about her response. Luthor. How could she even consider accepting that monster's proposal of marriage? She'd basically admitted that she didn't love him. Not in so many words. But that was definitely what she was telling him. So why was she even considering it? It made absolutely no sense. And then she had asked him to tell Superman that she was looking for him. He snorted. No. How would she feel if Superman just didn't bother showing up? It would serve her right. Well, that was the answer. He just wouldn't go. He let out a slow breath and shook his head. He would go. He knew that already. She had asked for Superman, so once again, he would give her Superman. He wondered momentarily if there was anything he could deny that woman. Surrendering to the inevitable, he spun into the Superman suit and flew out the window. * * * * * * * * * Superman appeared with no introduction. He didn't even stop outside the window to await an invitation to enter. Uncharacteristically, with just a rush of air announcing his arrival, he landed in Lois' apartment. He might be unable to deny her what she had asked of him, but he was determined to make this as quick and painless as possible. Like pulling off a band-aid, he would do it in one smooth stroke and then disappear. He saw Lois turn at the sound of his entrance and rise from the couch in one seemingly fluid motion. His breath caught in his throat at the image she created dressed in the sparse, light blue nightgown. He felt a moment of anger. She knew he would be coming by tonight. How dare she be dressed like that? Was she trying to seduce him? Of course she was trying to seduce him. He hardened himself against the oncoming attack and the way his traitorous body was reacting to her attire. Soft, creamy skin. Smooth, flowing curves, covered by delicate, silken material. "Superman," he heard Lois say, dragging him from his thoughts. He redirected his gaze to her face, determined not to think about her attire. "I heard you wanted to see me," Clark responded, keeping his voice steady, professional. Perhaps if he didn't give her any reason to expect anything but a rejection, she wouldn't do it. "Yes. Come in. I'll just put on a robe," said Lois, taking a step towards her room. "Unless it's lined with lead, Lois, it's a waste of time," Clark responded immediately. He didn't want her to take time to cover herself. It was obvious that the outfit was part of the scene she had planned. And he was not about to play her game. He would let her say her piece and then he was out of there. He had second thoughts when she looked down at herself nervously. "I guess so," she said, a touch of embarrassment in her voice. Then, as if she recognized his desire to have her get to the point, she continued. "Well, I'm just trying to figure out..." she began as she started walking towards him. Her voice trailed off and she changed tactics. "I have a lot of changes going on in my life and I just want to make the right decision and I can't do that until I know how you feel." 'Don't do it, Lois,' Clark silently screamed. Still he did nothing as she placed her hands on the arms he had folded across his chest. "Superman, is there any hope for us?" she asked, her voice little more than a plea. "You and me. I'm so completely in love with you. I can't do anything else without knowing." Superman let out a breath and looked down, shaking his head slightly. She had actually done it. Part of him hadn't believed she would really go through with it. He steeled his resolve and looked back into Lois' hopeful face. It would be so easy to respond in kind, to take her in his arms and kiss her until they were both senseless. To peel that light covering from her body and explore... "Lois, I do care for you," he said instead. "But there are things about me that you don't know, that you may never know." "It doesn't matter," Lois jumped in. "I know you. I don't mean you, the celebrity or you the superhero. If you had no powers at all, if you were just an ordinary man, leading an ordinary life, I would love you all the same. Can't you believe that?" Clark felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces. Of all the things to say to him tonight. The irony wasn't the least bit amusing. Instead, it was downright painful. "I wish I could, Lois," he responded from the depths of his heart. "But under the circumstances, I don't see how I can." Lois turned away, as if trying to keep Superman from seeing the pain his words had caused. Seeing his opportunity, Superman disappeared out the window in a gust of wind. When he heard her sob the name she had given him almost a year ago, he increased his speed, leaving Metropolis far behind him. * * * * * * * * * Clark flew as fast as he could, trying desperately to outfly the pain. He had known seeing Lois tonight as Superman would be hard, but never in his worst nightmares had he imagined anything like that. He felt as if he was being torn in two - the man Lois loved and the man Lois thought of as her best friend. He wondered momentarily why he had even invented Superman. It wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth this pain. His breathing became labored, and not from the energy he was expending. But still he slowed down. Glancing at his surroundings, he realized he was somewhere in China. He lowered himself to the ground and spun into Clark. Maybe this was the solution. Maybe he should just disappear into a different country, a different life - one where the memory of Lois Lane did not exist. He wandered the streets of the small town for a while until he ended up near a lake. He sat down near the edge and watched a group of children playing in the water. He smiled softly. They seemed not to have a care in the world. Would he ever be fortunate enough to have children of his own? Given the way things were going, he doubted it. His mind, unbidden, drifted back to Lois. How could Lois even consider marrying that animal? Did she really believe that she was strong enough to maintain her own identity in Luthor's shadow? There was nothing about that combination that made sense. Luthor would never let his wife be anything other than his show-piece. How could she not see that? What on earth was she thinking? Luthor would find a way to break her, making her into a shadow of her former self. Even if Luthor was not the master criminal that Clark knew him to be, there was no way Luthor would ever allow his wife to be anything more than a decoration, a trophy. 'I haven't said yes yet.' Lois' words came back to him. What did she mean by 'yet'? 'And I won't until I talk it over with someone else.' What did she mean by 'until'? His breath caught in his throat. It almost sounded as if she was going to find out if Superman loved her and if he didn't, that she was going to accept Luthor's proposal. Had he just pushed her into Luthor's arms? He clenched his fists, trying to calm his suddenly racing heart. "No, no, no, no," he said, slowly rising to his feet and backing away from the lake. Once he was away from the children, he spun into Superman in order to take to the skies and head back to Metropolis. As fast as he had been flying before, this time he was even faster, knowing that every second counted. If he was too late, he would never forgive himself. It was only a few minutes later that he was hovering high above Lois' apartment. He glanced inside. She had gotten dressed and was acting as if she was about to go out. Maybe she was going to talk to Clark. He let out a short breath. The chances of that after what had transpired between them this afternoon were almost negligible. In all likelihood she was going to give Luthor his answer. He began to descend, determined to stop her. Then he hesitated. The only way Superman could stop her was to give her what she wanted - or at least what she thought she wanted. The problem was that what she wanted didn't exist. He was just Clark, and if she didn't want Clark... Clark! That was the only option. He just had to remember to keep his cool. Maybe if he could figure out why she was thinking about marrying Luthor, he could find a way to stop her. He landed on the roof of Lois' apartment building, spun into Clark and headed for the stairwell, reminding himself that he had to put his own pain behind him or he was going to give Lois that final push towards Luthor. Right now he was Lois Lane's best friend - and it looked as if that was all he would ever be. He forced his ego aside. She needed her best friend right now, more than she ever had before, he suspected. * * * * * * * * * Lois checked her appearance one more time in the mirror. Satisfied that her make-up hid the fact that she had been crying, she headed to the closet to get her jacket. Prior to Superman's visit, she had decided that if Superman gave her no reason to hope, she was going to accept Lex's proposal. She was almost twenty-seven years of age and Lex was the first man she had dated who wasn't a loser. And without any other options, he was the obvious solution. He could give her that sense of stability she desperately craved. Accepting his proposal might give her some sense that life was not spinning out of her control. She had told him she'd give him her answer tomorrow. But why wait? If she was going to do this, she should just do it and get on with her life. Still, she suddenly found that she was having second thoughts. Did she really know him well enough to marry him? She knew that before Superman had arrived on the scene, Lex had been considered the greatest man in Metropolis. He sat on the board of directors of most of the major charities in Metropolis. And his success in business had resulted in employment for large numbers of people. He had a presence and charisma that was surpassed only by Superman. Okay, so Clark didn't like him. But his opinion was obviously biased as a result of his feelings for her. Besides, what other options were there? She could probably get a job at any other paper in the country, but that would mean leaving Metropolis. And that was something she would never consider doing. This was home - she couldn't lose it, too. And there was no way in hell she would ever work for The Star. And in spite of what she had told Clark, she didn't feel as if she really fit at LNN. Maybe she would eventually, but until then... She needed to fit somewhere, and that was exactly what Lex was offering - a place where she could fit. She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. Just as she reached it, someone knocked. Puzzled, she looked through the peep hole. Clark. Her heart involuntarily skipped a beat. She had been convinced that she had lost him today, all because she couldn't return his feelings. She quickly flicked open the locks on the door and threw it open. She wasn't sure she had ever been happier to see him. "Hi," he said. "I was just thinking that you might need someone to talk to." She let out a breath, her eyes becoming moist, and nodded. * * * * * * * * * Clark fiddled nervously as Lois made coffee. Neither had said anything of any significance since he had come in. She had asked if he wanted coffee and had rambled away ever since about inconsequential matters. He couldn't help but notice that she didn't seem quite able to meet his eyes. It wasn't until they sat down in the living room with their coffee that Lois finally seemed to run out of things to say. "Can we talk now?" Clark asked. When she didn't respond, he continued. "I think we should start with what happened this afternoon." "Look, Clark, I don't think we should..." "I probably shouldn't have told you how I feel," Clark interrupted. "I know it put you in an incredibly awkward position." "Then why'd you do it? I mean, why now? Was it just that Lex wants me to marry him?" Clark let out a breath. "It was a lot of things. When the Planet was destroyed I realized how easy it would be to lose you. And then with Luthor's proposal..." He shrugged. "Not that there is one word I said that isn't true. But my timing was probably not the best. But, Lois, you can't really tell me it came as a surprise." She thought about that for a moment before shaking her head. She couldn't really say that she was surprised. She'd seen the way he looked at her. She knew he would do just about anything for her. That didn't mean she hadn't been surprised that he had actually worked up the nerve to tell her. "I knew," she said softly, staring intently at the dark liquid in her coffee cup. There was a moment of silence before Clark spoke again. "I guess what I need to know first is if my saying the words has destroyed our friendship." She looked up then, meeting his eyes. "I hope not," she said, her tone of voice communicating just how much she meant that sentiment. "I never want to lose your friendship, Clark. I've never had a friend like you. I think it would kill me to lose you." "You could never..." he began before his voice trailed off. The truth was that if she married Luthor, he wasn't sure he could remain her friend. At the very least, their friendship would be irrevocably altered. "I don't want that to happen either," he said instead of completing his original thought. He hesitated for a moment. "So, did Superman come by?" he asked. Lois gave a humorless chuckle. "I guess I know now how my words this afternoon affected you." Clark flinched. Knowing that he had inflicted on her the same pain she had inflicted on him should have made him feel better. Instead, he felt guilty. Surely he could have found a way to let her down easily - telling her that he had feelings for her but that he couldn't have a life here. Maybe that would have softened the blow. "I'm sorry," he responded, getting up from the chair and moving over to take a seat on the couch beside her. She immediately reached out and took his hand, silently playing with it. "I don't know what to do," she said, finally breaking the silence. "About what?" "Lex," she said. "And please, Clark, I don't need any lectures. I just need a friend to talk it out with. Can you do that?" She looked hopefully into his eyes. Clark looked at her for a moment. He would do almost anything for her, but could he really separate what he knew about the man with his best friend's need to talk about possibly marrying him? "I can try," he finally said. Then she gave him that smile - the one that he would do anything to see - and he prepared himself to be as objective as possible. "Thanks, Clark," she said softly, as if recognizing how hard this was for him. "I'm not quite sure where to start." "Well, maybe you could explain to me how..." He let out a breath. "I know you've been dating Luthor. But I never got the impression that it was serious. It always seemed more like something to do on a Saturday evening. I guess that's why I took it so hard." "I admit it was kind of unexpected. I have spent a lot of time with him over the past year. But I was sort of blown away when he asked." "In the park when I asked if you loved him, you said you didn't know. That you had feelings for him, but you didn't know if you loved him. Was that just to spare my feelings?" She let out a breath. If she wanted to talk this out with him, she had to be honest - even if part of her knew that what she had to say would give him more ammunition he could use against her if he so choose. "No, Clark," she said. "I meant what I said. I think I could grow to love him, but there's only one man I love that way." "Who? Oh," he responded. There was a moment of silence before Clark spoke again. "Then I don't get it. I mean, why are you even considering marrying this guy? If I didn't know you, I'd be tempted to think you were marrying him for his money. But I know you. Money isn't something you..." "It's not the money, Clark. Although, I must admit the idea of not struggling to make my rent does sound really good." She gave him a smile that let him know she was joking. "Then why?" She swallowed, diverting her gaze. "I need something that's going to last," she said. She looked at him then. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?" "No, I... I just don't understand." "Of course you don't. You'll never be alone. If things go wrong... If you never get another job working for another paper, you can always go home. I don't have that. I don't have somewhere safe to run to if things go wrong. I never have." "Why would you think marriage to Luthor would give you that? Marriages end all the time." Lois shrugged slightly. "I know that, Clark. Probably better than you. But it would be different with Lex." "How do you know that?" "I sort of... well, I casually suggested that he'd probably want me to sign a prenuptial agreement. He doesn't. That means he's looking at this as being permanent." Clark was starting to feel a little desperate. "Lois, with your reputation, you could get a job at any paper in the world. If you went on the market, you'd have them climbing all over themselves trying to get you." "I want to stay in Metropolis, Clark. But... I'll never work for the Star. The only logical thing is for me to work for LNN." "And you don't think you can do that if you don't marry Luthor?" "No. I mean, I know he'd never expect me to quit working at LNN just because I'd turned down his proposal." Clark wasn't so sure, but he held his peace. "I'm just not sure how comfortable I'd be working for LNN if I do turn him down. And, Clark, I can't lose this job, too. I'd have nothing left." "You'd have me," said Clark. Lois smiled, bringing her hand up to gently stroke his cheek. "That's sweet, Clark. But..." "But what?" "Well, how long are you going to be around? Aren't you already applying to every paper in the country? You have no real connections to Metropolis, after all. And any paper would be foolish to let you get away." "I have a stronger connection to Metropolis than you might think." "Really? And just what would that be?" "You," Clark responded without missing a beat. She let out a breath. "Clark, I know you believe that. And I am flattered. But someday you'll meet someone else and you'll be gone." She was surprised to realize just how much she hated that idea. "That won't happen," Clark responded. She looked away. "I can't count on that. I need something permanent. Something I know I'm not going to lose." "Then marry me," said Clark softly. She looked back at him in shock. "What?" she asked. Clark shifted his position so that he was facing Lois. When he had first said the words, he'd only been half serious. But when he thought about it, it made sense. If what she was looking for was permanence, some sense that she belonged somewhere, he could give her that. "Think about it, Lois," he began. "If I recall correctly, you once said that partnership is like marriage. In fact, I think that was why you originally objected to Perry partnering us together. And that worked out okay. Besides, if you want permanence, who better to marry than your best friend." "But I'm not in love with you." "You're not in love with Luthor either. And besides, the best a couple can hope for is to end up friends. We'd just be starting out there." "Clark, marrying you isn't the same thing. I mean, you're as unemployed as I am. At least Lex is..." "I can always get a job." She gave him a look that told him he was losing this argument. He had to think quick. This might be the only way to keep her from marrying Luthor. "Besides, when I was talking to Superman today, he gave me an idea." He paused, trying to figure out exactly what this brilliant idea he'd been given was. "And that is?" "He suggested that I write a book about my year at the Planet." "And you think anyone would buy a book about working at the Planet?" "Well, the emphasis would be on Superman and the things we covered him doing during the past year," Clark said as the idea began to take hold. "Superman offered to do a series of interviews so that I could include his perspective. He said he would even write the introduction. Now, who wouldn't buy that. I'm sure I could even get an advance with Superman supporting the idea. You're certainly welcome to help me write it. So, you see, you don't need a job at LNN. We could..." "He really offered to give you interviews?" asked Lois, feeling almost jealous. "Yeah. So what do you say?" "About?" asked Lois thoroughly distracted by this idea of writing a book about Superman. "About marrying me," Clark clarified. Lois seemed to take a moment to come back to the question. She looked at him blankly before speaking. "Are you serious?" she asked. "I mean, it's really starting to seem like you're proposing." "That was not a proposal," Clark responded. Lois felt a weird sense of loss. "This is," Clark continued before swallowing hard and getting off the couch to drop to one knee in front of her. He took a deep breath and looked straight into her eyes before speaking. "I am completely in love with you. I have been from the moment we met. And although I know you don't have those feelings for me, I know I can make you happy - if you'll just give me a chance. I might not be able to give you the wealth or the exotic life Luthor could, but I promise that we will always have what we need. I also promise that you will never again have to wonder where you fit. I can give you a family - people who will love and support you unconditionally. And if you think about it, who better to share your life with than your best friend? And so, I want to ask... Will you marry me, Lois Lane?" * * * * * * * * * "What do you think you're doing?" Clark asked himself when he got back to his apartment. Lois had told him that she needed to think about his proposal. He could hardly believe he had proposed marriage as a solution, and he certainly couldn't believe that she'd said she'd think about it. Still, what else could he have done? The traditional arguments weren't working. How could she be so blind as to think that Luthor was safe? It was like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. He had been surprised to discover that she was feeling so insecure at the moment. Of course, when he thought about it now, it was the only thing that made sense. She was trying to figure out where she fit in the world. Since, in his opinion, she could fit anywhere she wanted, it was hard realizing that beneath that self- assured exterior really was an insecure woman. And Luthor was just the type to take advantage of that insecurity. And if he was willing to use her insecurities to get her to marry him, then there was no doubt that he would use similar techniques to control her after marriage. He briefly considered something he had wondered about ever since the Planet had been destroyed. Had Luthor been responsible for that - simply to get Lois to consider his proposal? After all, from what he had learned tonight, Lois wouldn't be seriously considering marrying Luthor if she was still secure in her job. Clark clenched his fists. The man was a monster. He would do whatever it took to keep Lois from marrying him. * * * * * * * * * Lois lay on her back in bed, staring absently at the ceiling. A quick glance at the clock on her night stand informed her that it was now past three in the morning. She'd been battling with Clark's suggestion - proposal, she reminded herself - since he'd left almost three hours ago. And she was further from an answer now than she had been when she started. It seemed all the arguments were just going around and around in her head. Part of her was amazed that she was even seriously considering Clark's proposal. He wasn't the type of man she had ever imagined marrying. When she'd initially told Clark she'd consider his proposal, she'd done it primarily to avoid hurting him twice in one day. But for a reason she couldn't quite seem to put her finger on, she now found that she was unable to simply dismiss the idea. She kept feeling as if there was a reason, just on the edge of her brain, that she should consider marrying Clark. But try as she might, she couldn't bring that reason into focus. She growled and climbed out of bed. Throwing on a robe, she made her way into the kitchen and grabbed a notebook and a pen. She placed them on the table before getting a cup of the cold coffee and sticking it in the microwave. She waited until the beep informed her that the coffee was hot, removed the coffee and took a seat at the table. She had a sip of coffee and stared at the blank paper. The first thing she needed to do was to write down all the arguments for and against marrying both Clark and Lex. She would sort through the various arguments afterwards. 'Lex.' She wrote down the name and underlined it. What could marriage to him offer her? She immediately rejected the idea that he was rich, except to say that he could offer financial stability. Next she wrote down the name 'Clark' and underlined it. He might not be rich, but he had promised that she would have everything she needed. And for a reason she couldn't quite put into words, she believed him. Of course, with Lex everything would be handed to her. But Clark's idea of writing a book about Superman was certainly intriguing. And he was right. They could surely sell the book before it was even written. And it would be much better if they did it together. After all, Clark had not always been present when Superman was doing his thing. For example, there was no way Clark would be able to explain the feelings that the colonists had experienced when Superman first appeared on the scene. He needed her. Of course, she could marry Lex and still work with Clark on the book. She rejected the idea almost immediately. Lex would have a fit. Given the hostile feelings between Clark and Lex, Lex would never approve of her... Her thought trailed off. When had she ever let a man make her decisions for her? She shook the thought off. Maybe she wasn't being fair to Lex. So how would Clark react if she decided to continue to work at LNN? She didn't have to think long to have the answer to that question. He might be disappointed. He might even try to argue her out of it, but he would be completely up front with his objections and in the end, he would accept it if it was what she wanted. Lex might pay lip service to her decision, but she had a sneaking suspicion that he would undermine it every chance he got. She shivered. She really wasn't being fair to Lex. Why was it that she had to try to slant every argument in Clark's favor? Lex had never given her any reason to doubt him like this. Clark's paranoia was probably corrupting her. Okay, so what were the points in Lex's favor? He could introduce her to a society that she had only ever dreamed of being accepted into. He could open all those doors that had always been closed to her. Clark couldn't do that. Satisfied with having found an argument that was going in favor of Lex, she refused to analyze it further. Besides, marrying Lex was marrying someone she could look up to. In that sense, he was like Superman. Clark, on the other hand... She paused. Why didn't she think Clark was someone she could respect? Her mind drifted back to when he had first come to work for the Planet. She had dubbed him 'Mr. Greenjeans' and somehow, deep down, she still maintained that image. But was that image true? During the past year, Clark had proven himself to be her equal when it came to reporting the news. In fact, at times he almost seemed to have a psychic ability when it came to being in the right place at the right time to get the story. At first flush, she had mistaken his gentle nature as weakness. But she was wrong. There was a quiet strength to Clark that spoke of a self-assured man. That was why he was the one she sought out when she needed comfort - not Lex, not even Superman filled that void in her life. There was a strength in Clark that always made her feel safe, both physically and emotionally. So could she enter into a marriage with him as his equal? He'd taught her early on that he would not allow her to take advantage of him. When he had sent her to the Sewage Reclamation Plant in search of a story months ago, he had proven that. In marriage, she suspected he would be the same way - always supporting her, but challenging her when he thought she was wrong. Until Clark, she wouldn't have believed those two things could be done at the same time. She let out a breath as she readjusted her image of Clark to fit the facts. She had to admit, whoever became his wife would be a lucky woman. And Clark was right about one thing. He could give her that family she'd always dreamed of having. She had no doubt that both Martha and Jonathan would accept Clark's wife without question. There was a real feeling of comfort in that thought. But then it wasn't Lex's fault that his parents had died when he was very young. In fact, it was quite remarkable that he'd managed to overcome their deaths and had ascended to the heights he had achieved without the support of his family. Love. She focused on that question for a moment. Clark had a point. The intense feelings of falling in love didn't last a lifetime - not that she was in love with either man now. If she were, the decision wouldn't be nearly as hard. So how was she supposed to deal with the question of love? If, of course, she should deal with it at all. She had to admit that she'd never really delved too deeply into her feelings for Lex. Why was that? Maybe it was because it never really seemed to be an issue. He had never asked if she loved him - or how she felt about anything, for that matter. Unless, of course, it was how she liked the play or the ballet. Of course, she had never confided in Lex about her feelings for Superman, so keeping those feelings to herself after marriage wouldn't be hard. If necessary, she didn't think she'd have any particular problem telling him she loved him - if he even needed to hear the words. 'In other words, you'd lie to him,' said a little voice in the back of her mind. She pushed the thought away and turned her mind to Clark. Clark was different. He already knew how she felt about both him and Superman. Besides, she could never lie to Clark about something like that. The thought caught her off guard. Why was it that she could see herself lying to Lex but not to Clark? In fact, when she thought about it, she couldn't imagine ever letting Lex know her deepest feelings - somehow afraid that he would find her feelings somehow inadequate or inconsequential. On the other hand, she couldn't imagine keeping her feelings from Clark. She wasn't sure if that was a point in favor of Clark or Lex. Who that point was in favor of depended on whether she wanted an honest relationship. She thought about that for a moment. She hadn't realized it before, but if she did marry Lex, there were probably a lot of things she would never tell him. With Clark, she had no doubt that she would share everything. And had she been in love with Clark, that was what she really wanted in a relationship. After all, she'd seen first hand what secrets could do to a marriage. The problem was that she wasn't in love with Clark, and was it fair to him to marry him without any guarantee that her feelings would change? With Lex, it didn't really matter - she wasn't exactly sure why. Both men claimed to love her. And she believed that both, in their own way, did. But even in that, they were exact opposites. Clark. A small smile found its way onto her lips. She had to admit, she loved the way Clark loved her. It was so... She struggled to find the right word. Honest. His love was so honest. That was not to say that Lex's wasn't, she was quick to assure herself. But there was a look of intensity in Clark's eyes when he told her that was missing in Lex. Besides, Clark had proven his love time and again during the past year. It was something she'd almost come to take for granted. Lex had only told her he loved when he proposed, and then it had almost sounded... She struggled even longer with describing that feeling. It had almost seemed as if he was announcing that she was the most fortunate woman in the world because he had decided to love her. She guessed that was understandable. After all, next to Superman, he was considered Metropolis' most eligible bachelor. But Clark... She felt tears come to her eyes when she thought about the two times he had told her he loved her - in the park today and when he had proposed tonight. There was no doubting the words. But then, as Clark had pointed out, love wasn't everything. There was friendship. Lex was certainly stimulating - so well informed, so well traveled. But when she thought about it, so was Clark. On the other hand, when it came to romance, Lex had Clark beat hands down - private jets, ballets, operas, wine and roses. She thought about that for a moment. Clark might not be as obviously romantic, but she had to admit she loved the way he held her when she was sad or scared, the way he could tease her out of a bad mood, the way he'd follow her into hell if it would get them a good story. She even loved the way he would show up with croissants and coffee in the morning. Suddenly, a slightly irreverent question flitted through Lois' mind. On a whim, she wrote it down. 'Who would you rather be stranded on a desert island with?' The answer was a no-brainer - Clark. She scratched out the question. She wouldn't be living on a desert island. She was living in the real world. That was what she had to deal with. Besides, it would make more sense to be stranded on a desert island with Lex. After all, people would move heaven and earth to find him - thereby making the possibility of rescue more likely. But try as she might, her mind kept coming back to the question. And as it did, she remembered what Clark had said, or more accurately, what he hadn't said. He hadn't promised that she would never lose him as a friend. He had certainly started out to say that. But when she thought about it now, she understood why he stopped. Their friendship was hanging in the balance now. If she married Lex, would their friendship survive? She pulled in a jagged breath. She wasn't sure how she would survive without Clark. He had snuck inside all her barriers and had become as critical to her existence as breathing. She wasn't certain she could go on without Clark. What she was certain about was that she didn't want to find out. But did that mean she should marry him? She growled. How was she supposed to know the answer to that? It was all a crap shoot. How was she supposed to know which of the two men she would still want to be married to in twenty or thirty years? Clark had said that most couples were lucky if they ended up as friends. But how could she really know which man she would be friends with in thirty years? She shook her head. This was getting her nowhere. She spotted a quarter sitting on the table. She stared at it for a moment before reaching out and picking it up. If it really was a crap shoot, why not? "Heads I'll marry Lex. Tails, Clark," she said. Then, taking a deep breath and trusting her future to the hands of fate, she tossed the coin in the air. It seemed to hang there before landing in her hand. Without looking at it, she flipped it over onto the back of her free hand. She took a deep breath and let it out before removing her hand and looking down at the coin. Heads. * * * * * * * * * Clark had finally fallen asleep on the couch just as the first signs of daylight began making an appearance. He wasn't asleep for more than ten minutes when a persistent pounding on the door woke him. He jumped up, grabbed his glasses and headed for the door - feeling completely disoriented. Who could possibly be calling at this hour? He glanced over his glasses. Lois. Grabbing the doorknob, he pulled the door open. "Clark, I was..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes drifted over his body. It wasn't until then that Clark realized that he had answered the door wearing nothing but his sleep shorts. She seemed rattled for a moment before once again getting her bearings. Without waiting for an invitation, she made her way past him into his apartment. "There are a few things I need to know," she said, refusing to look at him. "Just give me a minute," Clark said, her obvious discomfort making him uncomfortable. He suddenly flashed back to a few hours earlier when she had welcomed Superman wearing only that skimpy nightie. He smiled slightly. Turnabout was fair play. And the look on her face told Clark that his attire was as distracting as hers had been. Still, if she wanted to talk, he should probably get dressed. When she didn't object to his suggestion, he headed into his bedroom and grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt. Once he'd dressed, not bothering to do the shirt up, he came back into the living room where Lois was looking at a picture of him with his parents. "We're so different, Clark," she said softly when he approached. "That's what makes us work so well," he responded. "Why would you want to do this?" she asked. "I mean, is it just to beat Lex at something?" "You know better than that, Lois," he said softly. She took a moment before nodding slowly. "You know what my big problem is?" He shook his head, even though she wasn't looking at him. She seemed to realize his response because she continued. "I'm afraid that if I marry you, you'll come to resent me for not being in love with you." Clark took a minute to consider her comment - she deserved no less. When he didn't respond immediately, she turned around and looked at him. There was no mistaking the anxiety in her eyes. He shook his head. "Lois, I know what I'm getting myself into here," he said, bringing his hand up to gently cup her cheek. "How could I resent you for being honest?" He fell silent as he tried to decide whether to tell her how he really felt. Finally, he decided honesty was the best approach. "I admit that I am hoping your feelings for me will change. You talked about thinking you could grow to love Luthor. I guess I'm hoping that you'll grow to love me. But either way, I have enough love for both of us." Tears came unbidden to her eyes. "But, Lois, there is something I need to know." "What?" she asked. "I need to know that this is going to be a real marriage. I only intend to take these vows once in my life. Even though there is nothing I've ever wanted more than I want to marry you, I can't go into this if you don't intend to take it seriously. If what you want is a place where you belong, I can give you that. But in exchange I don't want you considering this a stopping ground until something better comes along." "That's what I want, too, Clark," she responded without hesitation. Clark blinked. Was she saying what she seemed to be saying? Could she really be planning... "What are you saying?" he asked. "Yes." He looked at her in disbelief as the word tried to penetrate his brain. "Yes?" he asked. "Yes, Clark, I will marry you," she responded. A moment later, she was lost in his arms as he spun her around. Unable to stop herself, she burst out laughing. Tossing that coin had been the best idea she had ever had. The instant she had seen heads, she'd known how she really felt. Her disappointment that it hadn't been tails had been palpable. It was at that moment that all the intellectual arguments had ended up in the garbage. And now, being swung around in his arms, she knew that she had made the right choice. In her wildest dreams, she couldn't imagine Lex reacting like this. * * * * * * * * * Martha looked up from her baking when she heard a gust of wind outside the farmhouse. She saw a swirl of colors and a moment later, Clark was walking towards the front door. "Jonathan," called Martha as she hurried to the door, "your son's here." She opened the door just as Clark set foot on the top step. She enfolded him in a quick embrace before hustling him into the house. "Cookies!" exclaimed Clark as his eyes landed on a tray of oatmeal raisin cookies that still had steam rising off them. "They're hot," said Martha out of habit as Clark reached out and carefully removed a cookie from the tray. Although it fell apart in his hands, he wasn't the least bit perturbed as he shoveled the crumbs into his mouth. "I thought you said they weren't ready," said Jonathan as he stepped into the room and headed for the tray. "They're hot, Dad," interjected Clark, just as his father's hand landed on a cookie. "They're hot!" Jonathan exclaimed, jerking his hand away. "Told you," muttered Clark. "So what brings you by?" asked Martha, not at all fooled by Clark's apparently casual attitude. Clark carefully brushed the remainder of the cookie off his hands and, without meeting his parents eyes, said, "I'm getting married." Martha glanced over at her husband who was looking as stunned as she was feeling. When Clark had been here last time, he'd told them that he intended to tell Lois how he felt, but this seemed awfully quick. "Lois?" she asked. Clark nodded. "Congratulations, son," gasped Jonathan. "You'll have to forgive us, but this seems a little sudden. Last time you were here, you were working up the nerve to tell Lois how you feel." "I take it that telling Lois went well - even better than you could have anticipated if you're getting married," added Martha. "Well, not exactly," said Clark, still avoiding eye contact with his parents. "What's wrong, Clark?" asked Martha, getting both Jonathan and Clark a glass of milk and scraping a few cookies off the hot tray to place on a plate. She set the items on the table and gestured everyone to chairs. Clark waited until they were all seated before giving his parents an abbreviated version of the events of the previous day - leaving out any reference to Lois' meeting with Superman. When he finished, his parents sat in silence. "You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Clark said. "No, Clark. It's just..." Jonathan glanced helplessly at his wife. But Martha gave him no hint as to what she was thinking so he continued. "She said she doesn't love you." "That's not what she said, Jonathan," corrected Martha. Both Jonathan and Clark turned their attention to her. "She admitted that she loves you. She just said that she isn't in love with you." "And?" asked Clark, realizing that his mother must have a point. "Why are men always so dense?" she asked. She let out a breath before proceeding to explain. "She loves you, Clark." "As a friend," Clark added. "That's a lot," said Martha, much to the surprise of the other two. "Especially for someone as scared of her emotions as Lois is." "So you're not upset with me?" asked Clark. He had expected his parents to be upset. He knew they loved Lois and that they would accept her as his wife once they were married. But he had been concerned that they would be disappointed that he was marrying her under these circumstances. His mother's attitude had taken him completely by surprise. And by the look on his father's face, he was thinking the same thing. "Clark, people get married for lots of reasons. It's only in recent times that getting married because you've fallen in love has been accepted as the norm. Do you love Lois?" "With all my heart." "And will both of you mean your vows?" she asked. "Yes. We talked about that." "Good. Then I, for one, think it's great." Clark glanced over at his father who shrugged. "Well, you know that I've always thought the world of Lois," he said. "So if this is what you want, you have my blessing." "Thanks, Dad. Thanks, Mom," said Clark, leaning over to give his mother a kiss on the cheek. "So how did she take it when you told her about Superman?" asked Jonathan. "Oh, right," said Clark, the relief of just a moment ago suddenly gone. "She doesn't know." "What?" both Martha and Jonathan gasped. "I assume you're going to tell her before you get married," said Jonathan. "Actually, we've decided to get married today," said Clark. "She doesn't want to wait. We're just going to go down to the court house and..." "Clark, don't you think she has a right to know who she's marrying?" asked Jonathan. "You can't base a marriage on a lie." "It isn't a lie," said Clark defensively. "She agreed to marry Clark. And that's exactly who she's marrying." "Do you really think you can keep this from her?" asked Martha. "I mean, have you thought this through? Sooner or later, she's going to realize that you aren't exactly normal." "How can I tell her?" asked Clark. "She's wildly in love with Superman. I want her to love me." "You have to tell her, Clark," said Jonathan. Clark looked between his parents, looking for some division in their thinking. When he realized that on this issue they were unified, he squared his shoulders. "Whether or not to tell Lois is my decision," he said defiantly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some things I need to do before I get married." "Clark," said his mother in exasperation. But Clark was already on his way out the door. His parents waited until they heard a familiar sonic boom before turning to each other. "What were you thinking?" Jonathan asked. "About?" Martha responded. "When Clark told us why he and Lois were getting married." Martha let out a breath. "They love each other, Jonathan. That's why a lot of people get married." "But Lois told him..." "Lois loves our son." Jonathan shook his head in amusement. "And what makes you so sure of that?" he asked. "Think about it, Jonathan. Lois has proposals from two different men. Why did she choose Clark over Luthor?" "Because..." He let his voice trail off for his wife to complete his sentence. "She's in love with him." When Jonathan looked skeptical, Martha continued. "It's the only thing that makes any sense. Lois is as ambitious as any woman I've ever known. She has worked hard to obtain a reputation as one of the best reporters in the country. And she goes into every story as if it's the one that's going to win her the Pulitzer." "So?" asked Jonathan. "Now Clark comes along. Since Lois doesn't know that Clark has been moving around all his life because of his fear of someone finding out about him, in her opinion, he's a drifter. In fact, she probably thinks that working at the Daily Planet is the first real job Clark has ever had. Now she's confronted with a choice - marriage to a successful businessman, someone whose ambitions run parallel to hers, or a drifter, someone who has never held down a job long term. Who does a woman as dedicated to her career as Lois choose? No, Jonathan, Lois' decision isn't based on her intellect, regardless of what she might tell herself; it's based on the heart. Therefore, she loves him," Martha concluded with absolute certainty. "Then why doesn't she admit it?" "Because she doesn't know that she loves him. She's learned over the years not to trust her heart, so she has forgotten how to listen to it. No, their marriage doesn't bother me. Now, not telling her that he's Superman bothers me. When she does figure it out, our boy is going to discover that kryptonite has nothing on Lois Lane." * * * * * * * * * Luthor opened the lead-lined box, looked at the green, glowing rock and smiled. It had turned out to be cheaper obtaining this than anticipated. The reason for the discount was that his supplier had gotten greedy. That was a mistake the man wouldn't soon forget. Too bad he was no longer alive to learn from it. "You sent for me, Lex?" asked Mrs. Cox, coming into Luthor's office. "Yes," said Luthor. "When you take the kryptonite to Lex Labs, tell them I want a small piece of it cut from the rest." "What for?" she asked. "We need to conduct a little test," Luthor explained. "Make sure it works on Superman." "Do you want them to wait until the test is complete before using the rest as previously discussed?" Luthor thought about that for a moment before shaking his head. "No, Mrs Cox. Have them proceed. We'll conduct the test just to be sure. But I don't want to wait on this." * * * * * * * * * Clark was already regretting his harsh words to his parents by the time he arrived back in Metropolis. Still, it was obvious that they just didn't understand. He couldn't tell Lois about Superman. And it wasn't just because he wanted her to fall in love with Clark. Lois seemed to change whenever Superman was around. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the way she looked at him when he was in the suit. It was just that she became... docile was probably a good way to describe it. And that wasn't the Lois that he'd fallen in love with. He enjoyed her spirit - even if at times she drove him crazy. That spirit was noticeably absent whenever Superman was around. He loved sparring with her almost as much as he loved when they agreed. He couldn't imagine losing that part of her. And if she knew he was Superman, he'd lose that. He couldn't bear the idea. Besides, the fact that Lois became docile whenever Superman was around caused Clark to worry that, at least in some ways, marriage to Superman would hurt Lois as much as marriage to Luthor. Of course, Superman would not try to break her spirit the way Luthor would. However, if she surrendered that part of her to be with Superman, how would the end results be any different? Either way, Lois would be only a shadow of the woman Clark had come to love. No. He couldn't tell her that he was Superman. There was just too much at stake. He took a deep breath and turned his mind to what he needed to do before meeting Lois down at the court house. He had been surprised when she suggested getting married today. However, as she had pointed out, she wasn't looking to get weddinged. She wanted to get married. And if they took time, people would want to be invited and what she saw as a private affair would become a public spectacle. Clark suspected that part of the reason she wanted to keep this private was that she undoubtedly knew that Luthor would have planned a big wedding and she wanted to distinguish the two. The only moment of hesitation she'd had was when she'd mentioned his parents. It was sort of ironic that she hadn't even thought about her parents. But she had been concerned that his parents might be hurt if they got married without inviting them. He had tried suggesting that they ask Superman to bring them in from Kansas, but she had vetoed that idea - claiming that Superman had more important things to do than worry about providing transportation to their wedding. He suspected that she was slightly embarrassed about her last meeting with Superman and didn't want to see him right now - especially concerning their upcoming marriage. She said that if he thought it was important for his parents to be there, they should wait until those arrangements could be made. Clark hadn't wanted to wait - in part because he was afraid that she'd change her mind and marry Luthor. Or that Luthor would find a way to undermine the wedding should he find out before they got married. In Clark's mind, either was a very real possibility. He had intended to mention all this to his parents when he spoke to them earlier. However, when they'd insisted he tell Lois about Superman, he'd lost his temper and, he had to admit, had stormed out like a child. He sighed. He'd have to remember to call them and apologize. He knew they only had his best interests at heart - even if, on this occasion, they were wrong. * * * * * * * * * "Luthor," Luthor said, picking up the ringing phone in his office. He listened intently before saying, "What?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Did she give a reason?" After another moment, he asked, "When did this happen?" The person on the other end of the line obviously said something that Luthor didn't like, because the billionaire was on his feet when he asked his next question. "Why wasn't I informed immediately?" Not satisfied with the response, Luthor slammed down the phone. "Problem, sir?" asked Nigel, entering his boss' office. "Yes, Nigel," Luthor said, before once again picking up the phone. "Mrs. Cox," he began to the person on the other end of the line, "get Lois Lane on the line immediately." * * * * * * * * * Lois checked her watch one more time. It was almost six. Where was Clark? She'd called ahead and made them an appointment after normal business hours - so that she'd have time to take care of a few things. Normally, the Justices of the Peace didn't perform weddings after hours, but this was one of those times when having a source at the court house was beneficial. But if, as a result, Clark had suddenly remembered that he had to return a video, he was a dead man. She checked her watch again. "Lois," he heard a familiar voice yell. Looking up, she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the athletic-looking man in a charcoal suit jogging towards her. At first, she was ready to tear him apart, but watching him approach, she found herself enjoying the view. For a moment she caught herself, as she often had in the past, pushing aside the realization of how good-looking he was. When it occurred to her that she no longer had to do that, she allowed her eyes to soak in every detail. He was, she decided to herself at that moment, the best looking-man she had ever seen. As he got closer, his face lit up in a smile - the one she knew he reserved especially for her. She loved that look - and after today, it would be all hers. That suddenly sounded really good. She smiled back. "You look as if you're in a good mood," said Clark, finally arriving where Lois was waiting for him. "It's my wedding day," she said with a grin. "Well, as long as it's also my wedding day, I guess that's okay," Clark responded. "By the way..." His voice trailed off and he took a step back to admire her in her classy, burgundy dress. "You look incredible," he whispered. "I spent most of the day shopping for a dress," she confessed, not entirely sure how to respond to his undisguised look of admiration. After all, he'd never looked at her quite that way before. "I wanted something white, but... Not that I particularly qualify for a white dress on my wedding day, but I sort of thought... you know, tradition. But then I saw this and..." "You look great," he repeated, cutting off her babble. "Thanks," she said, finally deciding that was the correct response. And then, after a moment she added, "You don't look too bad yourself." His resulting smile told her it was the right thing to say. "Oh, I almost forgot," said Clark, pulling a hand from behind his back and holding up a single red rose. Lois smiled, reaching out and taking the simple flower. "I went into the flower store, intending to find you something for... well, you know. Don't women carry flowers at weddings or something?" When she chuckled and nodded, he continued, "But then the woman started showing me all these flowers and... I decided maybe simple was best." "It's beautiful, Clark," she said. She hesitated for a moment and then, placing a hand on his chest and standing on her toes, she gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. When she stepped back, he grinned and offered her his arm - which she immediately took. Just then a beeping could be heard coming from her purse. "Just a sec," she said, removing her arm from his and fishing in her purse for her pager. Clark stuffed his hands in his pockets. He could hardly believe how much it bothered him that she had left her beeper on when they were about to get married. He was stunned when Lois turned off her pager without as much as looking at it and dropped it back in her purse. "You turned it off?" he asked, hardly able to believe that she had done that. Lois Lane refused to be cut off from the world. "I have more important things to do today," she said, slipping her arm back through his and accompanying him into the court house. Clark suddenly felt as if he was the luckiest man on several worlds. * * * * * * * * * Luthor slammed down the phone. "Where is she?" he asked. Since the question was obviously rhetorical, Nigel didn't answer. Luthor fumed for a moment before turning to Nigel. "Have her apartment watched. She'll show up there eventually." "Yes, sir." "Let me know the instant she gets home." "Might I inquire what the problem is?" asked Nigel. "Lois handed in her resignation at LNN today," Luthor informed him. Then, as if telling Nigel the problem had given him an idea, he added, "Tell Mrs. Cox to check with every paper in the country - see if Lois has accepted a job somewhere else." "And if she has?" asked Nigel. "If she has taken a job with someone else, I'm afraid Lois will discover that they've had a change of heart." "Very good, sir," Nigel said, before leaving to do as instructed. * * * * * * * * * Lois paced nervously as they waited for the Justice of the Peace. Why was she doing this? Had she completely lost her mind? What did she think marrying Clark would accomplish? "We don't have to do this, Lois," said Clark gently. Fear suddenly welled up in her soul. She stopped her pacing, but didn't look at Clark. She couldn't bear to. What if he had decided he didn't want her? "Are you changing your mind?" she asked, her voice trembling slightly on the words. In her peripheral vision, she could see Clark approaching. She didn't look up - afraid to see what might be in his eyes. She shuddered when his hand came up under her chin and gently raised her face. Still, it took her a moment to make eye contact. She pulled in a jagged breath when she saw the undisguised look of love on his face. "I want to marry you, Lois," he said. "You have no idea how much I want that. I just want to know that you're sure. I mean we could always just work on the book and see what happens. There's no reason we have to get married today." She felt an undeniable rush of tenderness for the man in front of her. She had been desperately searching for stability, permanence and a safe place to run to if she ever needed it, and at this moment, she knew that she had found all three. The ground, which had been shifting beneath her feet since the destruction of the Daily Planet, was suddenly solid again. His love was so pure. She had absolutely no doubt that he would never hurt her or try to change her. With him she would be safe, she would know what it was to really belong somewhere. He was right. Nothing could be better than being married to her best friend. Her expression softened. "I want to get married, Clark," she whispered. A soft smile found its way onto his face. He leaned in and kissed her cheek before placing his lips by her ear. "I love you so much," he whispered. "I know," she responded, suddenly wishing there was some way she could express how much he meant to her. She wasn't in love with him. That emotion was reserved for only one man. But she felt so much more for him than just 'like.' She wished there was some way she could communicate that to him. Unfortunately, the English language was just so inadequate to put her feelings into words. "Lois Lane and Clark Kent?" asked a voice behind them. "Yes?" said Clark, turning towards the sound of a woman's voice. "I'm Justice Natasha Wilson. I understand you two want to get married." "Yes," Lois responded immediately. * * * * * * * * * Lois listened carefully to every word of Clark's vows - to love, honor and cherish; to have and to hold; for better or worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health and for as long as they both would live. When he promised to love her, she felt a moment of uncertainty. Soon it would be her turn to repeat the familiar vows. How could she promise to love him? Then she relaxed. As she'd told him when he'd first admitted his feelings for her, she did love him - as a friend. And she had meant it. It almost surprised her to realize exactly how much she had meant those words. She found it interesting that the vows didn't make the bride and groom promise to 'be in love' only 'to love'. But then as Clark had pointed out, the powerful emotions that had come to be known as falling in love weren't permanent. They were something that couldn't be promised. Although she certainly didn't know what created those feelings, she did know from past experience that they came and went. She had fallen in love with Claude years ago. And yet now, she could hardly even remember what she had liked about the man. On the other hand, she had no doubt that what she felt for Clark - love - had the potential to last a life time. He was her best friend - would always be her best friend. She gave his hands a slight squeeze as he finished his vows. The gesture brought a smile to his face. Then the Justice of the Peace turned to her. "Repeat after me," the Justice instructed. "I, Lois Lane, take you, Clark Kent, to be my lawfully wedded husband," Natasha Wilson began. Lois repeated the words. "To love, honor and cherish..." continued Wilson. Lois paused. She could see the expression on Clark's face suddenly become slightly anxious and realized he'd been wondering if she would choke on the promise to love him. "To love..." she began, pausing on the word to emphasize it. She saw a smile quirk at the corner of Clark's mouth and his hands gave hers a small squeeze. Realizing she had made her point, she continued with her vows, finding that she meant every word - just as she knew in her heart that he had. "Do you have the rings?" asked Natasha when the vows were finally finished. Lois felt a moment of panic. She hadn't even thought about rings. Then Clark let go of her hands to reach into the inside pocket on his suit jacket. A large lump formed in her throat when he withdrew a small jewelry box. She should have known he would have thought of rings. "I got them this afternoon," Clark said as he opened the box to reveal two very simple and yet quite beautiful gold bands. "I thought you might like to be with me when we picked out an engagement ring, but..." He shrugged. Lois reached out and took the box from his hands. "They're beautiful, Clark," she whispered, looking from the rings into his eyes. He had promised she would never want for anything, and he was already keeping his vow. Clark took the box back and removed the smaller of the two rings. He handed it to her as he spoke. "Read what's inside," he said. She took the ring and looked at the small print inside. She pulled in a jagged breath when she read the words. 'I have loved you from the beginning.' Swallowing hard, she looked back at him. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" she asked, her voice no more than a whisper. He smiled. "You were you," he replied simply as his hand came up and lightly stroked her cheek. "May I have the rings," said Natasha hesitantly, as if she was reluctant to break into the moment. Lois and Clark handed her their rings. As Lois placed her ring in the woman's hand, she felt a sense of loss. That was her ring and she found herself reluctant to give it up, even though she knew it would be hers again soon enough. "These rings are perfect circles," said Natasha. "As I'm sure you are aware, they are meant to be a symbol of the eternal nature of your love - having neither a beginning nor an end. In this age where marriages are abandoned at the first sign of trouble, I'd ask that when things get tough, which is bound to happen from time to time, you look at these symbols and remember the vows you exchanged today." She handed the smaller ring to Clark and said, "Take Lois' left hand and repeat after me." Clark did as instructed and then, while placing the ring on her finger promised his fidelity. Once he was finished, Lois did the same, a tear slipping slowly down her cheek as she looked at the intensity in Clark's eyes as he soaked up every word. The moment was interrupted when Natasha spoke again. "By the authority vested in me by the State of New Troy, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Clark's hands came up to cup Lois' cheeks. Lois felt her mouth go dry when he began to lean in. It wasn't as if the kiss was unexpected. It was how she knew the ceremony would end. But that didn't stop the tingling that was suddenly running down her spine in anticipation. And then his lips were on hers, soft, gentle, undemanding - and the tingling in her spine moved into her legs, causing them to buckle slightly. She reached out, grabbing onto the front of his shirt to steady herself. He pulled back. A small moan escaped her lips, almost in protest of his withdrawal. As if responding to her unspoken objection, he leaned back in. Lois' lips immediately responded, seeking to experience every moment of this, their first real kiss. His hands left her face in order to draw her into his embrace while her hands crept up his chest and around his neck. Lois was aware of nothing but the sudden feeling of rightness of kissing Clark. Never before had she felt so safe, so cherished, so completely loved. It was only when the Justice of the Peace cleared her throat, that Lois once again became aware of her surroundings. The look on Clark's face told her that he, too, had gotten lost in the moment. "There are some papers you still need to sign," Natasha informed them. Both Lois and Clark blushed and nodded before accompanying Natasha to complete the necessary paperwork. * * * * * * * * * Lois closed the door to her bedroom and let out a long, slow breath. She glanced down at her left hand, seeing the proof of today's activities on her finger. She'd actually done it. She'd actually gotten married. And it wasn't nearly as hard as she thought it would be exchanging vows with Clark. In fact, for some unfathomable reason, it had felt incredibly right. She had half expected something to prevent her from saying 'I do'. But nothing had - no second thoughts, no last minute cold feet, no thoughts of other men. Surprisingly, she hadn't even thought about Superman. There was just a sudden feeling that she had found where she belonged. She shook her head and turned her mind to why she was here before grabbing an overnight bag and placing it on the bed. She quickly decided what she would need and packed her bag. After all, Clark was waiting in the other room. As she finishing up, she took a look around the room, trying to decide if she was missing anything. As she did, she wandered over to the window and looked outside. She noticed the long black limousine the instant it turned the corner and headed down her street. She watched as it stopped across the street from her building. She didn't need to wait for someone to get out to know who was inside. There was only one reason a limousine would be stopping on her street. Lex. She quickly turned towards her bag and closed it before heading to the door. The last thing she wanted was to have to tell Lex that she was married with Clark here. It would be like assassinating Archduke Francis Ferdinand - thereby starting World War One. She opened the door and entered the other room. "Where's the fire?" asked Clark as she steamed past him to the door. "I just want to get going," said Lois, trying hard to sound casual. Clark shrugged, took her bag and followed her from the apartment. It only took a couple of quick steps for him to pass her. As he reached out to push the button for the elevator, she grabbed his arm. "No," she said, leading him towards the stairs. When he looked at her curiously, she continued. "I need the exercise," she explained. Clark followed without comment. Then his hearing picked up the elevator beginning to move. He glanced through the wall and almost burst out laughing when he saw Luthor heading to Lois' apartment. He wondered briefly how she knew Luthor was coming, but there was no mistaking the fact that she was trying to avoid him. Since he had absolutely no problem with that idea, he simply agreed to her suggestion that they take the back door out of her apartment building. * * * * * * * * * Luthor stormed from the building and looked around. He spotted a car with two men sitting across the street and headed towards it. The man on the driver's side quickly rolled down the window. "I thought you said she was here," Luthor accused the men in the car. "She is. Her and Kent went inside no more than..." The man looked down at his watch. "...maybe fifteen minutes ago." "And you didn't see either of them leave," said Luthor. "No, Mr. Luthor." "Well, since they aren't here, what do you think happened?" The man in the driver's seat glanced over at his partner before looking back at Luthor. "They got past us, sir?" he asked. "Very good. Next time, don't lose her. If you do, you'll be looking for harder, less profitable work." He glanced between the two men. "Unless that's what you want." Both men immediately assured him that they were quite happy in their jobs. Luthor stared at them for a moment before heading back to the limousine. Once inside, he pulled his cell phone out of his jacket and dialed a number. It was only a couple of rings before someone answered. "Have the men watching Lois' apartment replaced immediately," he said, hanging up the phone. He figured if they didn't see it coming, they'd continue to do their job up until the moment others arrived to take over from them. But no one got a second chance to fail him. No one. * * * * * * * * * Clark wasn't entirely sure how to handle the situation. He'd heard of wedding night jitters, but this was something else again. Lois had been babbling incessantly since they'd left the restaurant. The strange thing, in Clark's mind, was that supper had gone so incredibly well - at least he thought it had. They'd eaten supper in the expensive dining room at the Lexor hotel. Clark had managed to get them a private table near the back where their conversation had flowed from topic to topic with ease. At first, he'd been hesitant about holding her hand, or reaching out to brush a strand of hair off her face. But soon he was doing it more and more often. He'd noticed that she never seemed to initiate contact, but she didn't seem to mind when he did. On one occasion when he'd picked up her hand and placed a kiss on the palm, she'd actually responded by stroking his cheek. His cheeks flushed as he remembered one moment in particular. They'd decided to share a dessert, a piece of chocolate cake. When the waiter had brought it, he'd only brought one fork. So Clark had taken the fork, used it to pick up a piece of cake and held it out for Lois. She'd closed her eyes as her mouth closed around the fork. He wondered if she knew exactly what she'd done to him when she moaned in pleasure as he slowly slipped the fork from her lips. He wondered what had made that particular action seem so incredibly sexy. Since the dining room also had a dance floor, as they finished eating, Clark asked her to dance. She'd agreed immediately. Holding her in his arms, feeling her warm body moving softly against his and not having to pretend that he wasn't in love with her was everything he'd ever thought it would be. She seemed to be enjoying herself as much as he was. At least, if she hadn't been enjoying dancing with him, she hadn't given any indication of it. They had ended up dancing several times during the course of the evening. But then he'd left for a moment to see if he could get them into the honeymoon suite for the night. He hadn't mentioned it to Lois before doing so because he wasn't sure that he'd be able to get it. It was May, after all, one of the most popular months for getting married. However, it was also a weekday, so the room had been available. He'd been excited when he returned to the restaurant to tell Lois. That was when things had changed. He'd thought she'd be thrilled - given their history with that particular room - but instead she seemed to withdraw. At first, it was nothing obvious, but Clark knew her well enough to notice the chill that suddenly seemed to be in the air. But what he didn't understand was that she had to have anticipated that they'd be staying somewhere. After all, they had both brought an overnight bag with them. So what had happened? * * * * * * * * * Lois knew she was babbling. The problem was that she couldn't seem to stop. She knew when it had started. It had started the moment Clark had returned from what she thought was a trip to the washroom with the key to the honeymoon suite. It wasn't until then that it had suddenly occurred to Lois what they would be doing upon leaving the restaurant. Although it was crazy, she had somehow allowed herself to forget the circumstances of their dinner together. It had felt more like a first date than their first meal as a married couple. They had talked about their pasts. Clark had told her about his travels and Lois found herself opening up about her relationship with her father. The first time he'd held her hand, as they'd been making their way to the restaurant, it had seemed slightly odd. But even that had become more natural over the course of the evening. She hadn't been able to initiate contact - it would be too forward for a first date - but she couldn't say she minded when he did. And being in his arms on the dance floor had certainly stirred up feelings in her that she couldn't quite classify except to say that dancing with him was incredible. He had made a comment about having learned ballroom dancing from a Nigerian princess. She could recall something to that effect, but couldn't remember exactly when he'd told her. She also couldn't recall any of the details, so she'd probed further. He'd almost seemed to beam when he told her his Nigerian princess story - almost as if he'd wanted to tell her that story all year. And she had to admit, it was a fascinating tale But then he'd left for a few minutes, coming back with a hotel key. It was at that moment that the illusion of a first date - a great one, but a first date nonetheless - had been shattered. She was with her husband, and this was their wedding night. And as that realization began to set in, a tightness developed in her chest. She started talking, hoping to distract herself from the new set of realities. But no matter how hard she tried to fill up the air with other topics, the only thing she could think about was what would happen when they reached the honeymoon suite. Part of her wished she was able to shut up. In fact, at this moment, she'd give almost anything to find a way to stop talking. But she seemed completely incapable of stopping - afraid that if she did, the fear that was eating away at her belly would be overwhelming. A first date was supposed to end by his walking her to the door of her apartment and, perhaps, kissing her good-night. Instead, she was making her way to a hotel room with him. "Are you okay, Lois?" asked Clark, interrupting her babble when the bellboy opened the door to the honeymoon suite and disappeared inside with their things. "Of course, I'm okay," she'd responded immediately. 'Liar,' her mind yelled in response. "Why would you think I'm not okay? Don't I seem okay to you? I'm okay. What? Didn't you know that this was what I was like when you married me? Are you trying to tell me that you want out already?" "Lois..." began Clark. "Aren't you supposed to carry me over the threshold or something?" asked Lois, trying to change the course of the conversation. She wasn't okay. In fact, at this moment if he suddenly decided to rush her to the emergency room at Metropolis General Hospital, it would almost be a relief. She wasn't sure she'd ever been this nervous. Of course, her suggestion, made in an effort to divert his attention from his question, was not the wisest course of action, because almost immediately, she was being picked up in his arms and carried into the room before them. * * * * * * * * * Luthor stood in front of the long mirror and stared at himself. "Where is she?" he asked the handsome man before him. There was no response. "The men watching her apartment saw her and Kent enter. Then, before I could get there, they were gone again. That was the last time anyone has seen either of them. I even sent men to Kent's apartment and there was no sign of them." He paused. "Previously, of course, since Kent was her partner, I'd have said they were off pursuing a story. But, thanks to me, the Daily Planet is no longer. So where are they?" The man in the mirror seemed to have no answer to that question. "You wonder why I'm so concerned. After all, she will undoubtedly turn up eventually. There are two reasons. I'm concerned that she's with Kent. He might be beneath her as a potential suitor, but for some unfathomable reason she seems to respect him. He's the one thing that she still has in her life other than me. I'll have to think about how to handle Mr. Kent. "But the second reason I'm concerned is because I don't know where she is or what she's doing. To paraphrase the words of Sun Tzu, the reason the enlightened prince's achievements surpass those of ordinary men and the reason the wise general conquers his enemies is foreknowledge." He heard the door open behind him and immediately proceeded to straighten his tie in the mirror. "Have they been found yet?" he asked. "I'm afraid not, sir," answered Nigel. * * * * * * * * * Clark tipped the bellboy before looking at Lois, who was standing with her back to him, staring absently towards the door to the bedroom. Taking a deep breath, he contemplated how to handle the situation. It was obvious that the idea of making love had her completely spooked. He guessed that was understandable. After all, if anyone had told her twenty-four hours ago that she'd be making love with him tonight, she'd have flat out told them they were crazy. Finally, he decided that it might be easiest if he took the initiative. Taking a deep breath, he came slowly up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He could feel her tense in response to his touch. "It's going to be okay, Lois," he whispered before moving her hair to place a gentle kiss against her throat. He could hear her heart skip a beat. All right. She was obviously not indifferent to his touch. Maybe if he just continued as he was doing she'd relax and respond. He continued to trail kisses over her neck. He almost smiled when he heard the beginnings of a soft moan rise in her throat. Then, suddenly, she pulled herself out of his arms and, without looking at him, grabbed her bag. "I'm just going to go freshen up," she muttered, making what looked to Clark like a dash for the washroom. He breathed her name when the washroom door closed behind her. He lowered his glasses and watched her collapse against the door, her entire body trembling. This was wedding night jitters in the extreme. But then, Lois didn't do anything in halves. His heart went out to her, wishing he knew how to take away her fears. And wishing almost as much that it wasn't him she was afraid of. Maybe if he just gave her a little time, she'd calm down. In the meantime... Clark began exploring the honeymoon suite. He was fairly certain he'd seen candles the last time they were here. At least he could set the mood. He smiled. Tonight was going to be the most incredible night of his entire life. He just knew it. * * * * * * * * * Lois stepped carefully out of the tub and slowly toweled off. She couldn't delay this forever. If she didn't make an appearance soon, Clark was going to think she'd drowned in the oversized bathtub. She could hear the soft, romantic music wafting in from the other room and swallowed hard. In an effort to divert her thoughts, she turned her attention to the bag she'd brought in here. It was almost a year ago that, on a whim, she'd purchased the outfit she had brought with her for tonight. Taking a deep breath she opened the bag to find a long, black nightgown lying on top. Reaching into the bag she removed it and slipped it on. It fit her body like a glove while at the same time not being too revealing. She'd chosen it because she figured it would be easier facing Clark in this than it would be wearing a teddy - or something else even more revealing. She pulled out the sheer, black robe that went over top and put it on. Standing in front of the mirror, she stared at herself for a moment, imagining Clark's reaction when he saw her in this. Suddenly, the fear was back. She rebuked herself. He was her husband and she had promised him that this would be a real marriage - and she was a woman of her word. That meant she just had to bite the bullet and go out there. Surely after the first time, it would get easier to fulfill this aspect of their marriage contract. After all, she knew that he had the ability to make her respond to him. His kiss after they had exchanged their vows had certainly proven that. So all she had to do was to let him take the lead and let herself respond naturally. Naturally. Suddenly, nothing about this situation seemed natural. She'd married her best friend and one of the unbreakable rules was that you did not sleep with your best friend. Yet only a few hours after their first real kiss, she was about to do just that. If only she'd taken him up on his offer to wait, to take time to get used to this, maybe it wouldn't be quite so terrifying. "He's your best friend," she told her reflection. "He'd never do anything to hurt you." She stared into her own eyes for a minute before nodding and heading for the door. Suddenly, she stopped and turned to look at herself in the mirror one more time. She couldn't go out there looking like this. But what... She spotted a large, white terry- cloth robe hanging on the back of the door. Quickly dispensing with the flimsy black robe, she pulled on the bigger, more protective covering. She glanced at her reflection again and let out a breath. She thought she looked cute in the oversized robe. She nodded slightly. Cute was better than sexy at the moment. He'd still get the effect of the nightgown eventually, but it would be easier facing him in this outfit - at least initially. Gathering her courage, she opened the door and, taking a deep breath, stepped into the other room. The entire room was awash in soft light. She could see dozens of candles set up around the room. Sitting on the coffee table was a bottle of what appeared to be champagne. It only took a moment for her eyes to find Clark, reclining on the couch. He'd removed his jacket and tie, had his sleeves rolled up and the top button of his shirt undone. In fact, he looked quite relaxed. She was suddenly incredibly envious. How could he look relaxed at a time like this? It just wasn't fair. He looked up and their eyes met. Almost immediately, she looked away again. He knew. She could see it in his eyes. That was the problem with this type of situation. She couldn't fool her best friend. He knew how terrified she was. She tried to force herself to calm down, but the cold hand of fear clung mercilessly to her heart, refusing to release her from its icy grip. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to look back at Clark. She could do this. She had to do this. She'd promised him a real marriage and that was exactly what she planned to give him. * * * * * * * * * Clark's breath caught in his throat when he finally heard the door to the washroom open. He knew this was the moment where he would be treated to the sight of his wife in an outfit guaranteed to leave him weak in the knees. It seemed to take forever before she stepped out. He crinkled his eyebrows in confusion. She certainly looked cute in the oversized hotel bathrobe, but... His eyes drifted down her body to where he could see the hint of a black nightgown underneath. He smiled, looking back at her face. In the back of his mind, it registered that she still looked scared, but he quickly pushed the thought aside. She'd be fine. It was just anticipating what would come next that was making her nervous. "Come here," he said, his voice incredibly hoarse. She hesitated for only a moment before doing as instructed. He smiled as she made her way over to him. He watched every movement, drinking it in like a man who was dying of thirst. Well, the drought was over. This was the night. He felt as if his entire body was alive. He could smell the soft fragrances she'd used in her bath. He could hear her bare feet softly padding on the floor. When she finally got close, she stopped. He immediately reached for her, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her over until she was standing in front of him. His hands left her waist to play with the belt on the robe. After a moment, he began undoing it. "It's just like unwrapping a present at Christmas," he said with a grin, glancing up at her on the last word. Then he blinked. She didn't look in the least as if she was enjoying this. In fact, the expression on her face was one of determination. It seemed to take her a moment to realize that he'd said something amusing. Her resulting smile looked forced. He quickly looked down at the activities of his hands as the knot on the robe fell apart. Pushing what he'd seen on Lois' face out of his mind, he slowly peeled the edges of the robe apart. It wasn't hard to forget the look in her eyes when he saw the black silk covering her body, accentuating every line and curve for his exclusive viewing pleasure. He allowed his eyes a slow trip down her body, starting with the spaghetti straps holding the black silk in place. He fingered the pendant hanging around her neck and resting in the valley between her breasts. Her breasts were rising and falling with every breath she took, sending more heat running through him. There were laces running criss-cross holding the front of the silky top on the nightie together. As he lowered his hand to let his finger run lightly down the bumps of the laces, he could hear her already fast heart beat speed up and knew that his was matching her rhythm. He smiled. She was finally starting to respond. His eyes continued their slow exploration. The top of the nightie was joined to the skirt by strings of material that encircled her waist, giving him tantalizing glimpses of the skin of her stomach. His heart felt as if it would explode. She was so incredibly gorgeous. He was glad he was seated. Otherwise his legs probably would have crumpled under him. Her hand slowly made its way into his hair and for a moment he smiled. But then he felt her hand tremble and suddenly got the impression that she was trying to make up for what she knew he'd seen on her face earlier - trying to convince him that she was okay with his activities. He pushed the thought away. After all, how could she not be enjoying this? He leaned in and kissed a bare spot on her stomach before slowly running his hands over her hips. He almost groaned when he realized that she had nothing on beneath the thin material covering her hips. He ran his hands over her hips again to confirm his discovery before leaning in once again to kiss her stomach. He heard her sharp intake of breath and felt her muscles contract, but couldn't tell if it was excitement or fear causing it. He decided to believe it was a mixture of both. He glanced up at her. She smiled back at him, but there was something in her eyes. Something that... He quickly looked down again, rebelling against the idea that she might not want to make love. It was his wedding night, too. He had every right to expect... No. He closed his eyes briefly. No, it didn't matter what night this was. He didn't have any right to expect her to make love with him. But surely she'd stop him if she didn't want this. Both hands moved to her waist. He wanted her so much. Maybe he was just moving too quickly. After all, he wasn't overly experienced in this area. Reading all the books didn't make one an expert. Taking a deep breath, he stood up from where he was seated on the couch. He seemed to have caught her off guard, because she took an instinctive step back. He could hear the back of her legs hitting against the coffee table. He swallowed hard at the deer in the headlights look that was suddenly in her eyes. He reminded himself to take it slowly as he moved away from her. That was all it was - just a little case of nerves. If he slowed down, maybe romanced her a little bit, she'd relax. And he'd found out at the restaurant how much she enjoyed dancing with him so... "Dance with me?" he asked, stepping out into the room and holding his hand out to her. She came willingly enough, but she didn't meet his eyes as she slipped into his arms. He slid his hand under her robe to hold her body against his. He almost groaned at the intimacy of the contact. Although the bathrobe still clung to her shoulders, by moving the robe aside he could feel the soft curves of her almost naked body against him. He began to move them to the music. Still, as soft as she'd felt in his arms when they'd danced at supper, that was how awkward her movements were against him now. His hand ran over her back, trying to ease the tension she was obviously feeling. "I love you, Lois," he murmured into her ear. She didn't respond. However, since she couldn't say the words back, he really hadn't expected her to. He had just wanted her to hear him say it - to know that she was cherished, safe and loved. They continued to dance for a few minutes before Clark realized that she still wasn't relaxing. Of course, she wasn't objecting either. In fact, he was fairly certain that she'd let him do whatever he wanted tonight. But was this really what he wanted? Oh, there was no denying he wanted her. But this suddenly felt so wrong. It was no longer possible for him to ignore the reality of the situation. She didn't want to make love to him. Still, if she was prepared to consummate their marriage, maybe he should just proceed as planned. After all, once they were in bed, surely... His thought trailed off as he remembered one of the reasons he hadn't told her he was Superman. He couldn't stand the idea of Lois becoming docile. And although she was obviously determined to let him consummate their marriage, how could he when, in order to do that, he had to accept the docile woman in his arms? Still, how was he supposed to calm the fire that was already raging through his body? He lowered his head into the curve of her neck and closed his eyes. She smelled so incredible. There was something about her particular scent that had the power to permeate every fiber of his body and make him respond to her. It couldn't possibly all be one-sided - could it? He allowed his hand to slip further down her back onto the top curve of her buttocks. He had to stifle the urge to scream when he felt her tense even further. He closed his eyes tighter together. Being with her like this, under these circumstances, knowing that she was only fulfilling her obligation to him... How could he do that to her? He pulled her body hard against him one last time before releasing her and stepping away. * * * * * * * * * Lois wasn't quite sure what to think when the dance ended so abruptly. She had spent the past several minutes trying to make herself relax. But it was as if everything she did to try to calm down backfired. The tension in her chest had now gravitated to her shoulders, causing them to feel cramped. Her stomach was nearly eating her alive. When he'd asked her to dance, she'd been almost annoyed. She just wanted him to get on with it. To get it over with. Clark took her hand and led her back to the couch. He gestured her to take a seat. Confused, she sat down. She risked a sideways glance at him when he sat down beside her. When she realized he was staring at his hands, she turned slightly towards him. It was obvious that there was something on his mind and she figured she knew what it was. He had clearly realized just how much she didn't want to do this. He picked up her hand. She watched as he played with it for a moment before raising it to his lips and kissing it. She didn't dare ask what was going on, not being certain if her voice would be steady and being even less certain that she wanted to hear what he had to say. On the other hand, the awkward silence between them was almost unbearable. She swallowed hard. Had he realized that he'd made a mistake in marrying her? Was he about to tell her that he wanted to annul their union? She felt a moment of panic. She'd been trying so hard to fulfill her end of their contract. Surely he had to take that into account. "Do you want to make love with me?" he finally asked, glancing over at her. Lois was suddenly consumed with fear. He had indeed figured it out. Did that mean the rest of her speculations were correct as well? If she couldn't give him this would he want out of their marriage? And if that happened, where would that leave her? Not only would she certainly lose his friendship, but she'd also have a failed marriage on her record. "Why would you ask that?" she answered. His slow breath told her that he realized she hadn't answered the question. "I just don't think you're ready for this," Clark responded. "I'm just a little nervous," she corrected, although her actions made a liar out of her as her free hand automatically pulled her robe further around her body. "I'll be okay once..." His finger came up to her lips cutting her off. "Lois, you're more than a little nervous. Every muscle in your body is knotted up so tight that it has to be painful." She looked at him defiantly even as she tried unsuccessfully to make herself relax. But he was right. Her shoulders felt as if they were in a vise. Every breath was a chore. Still, she wanted this marriage. She wanted it more than she would have believed possible. In fact, she suddenly understood the theory that one didn't realize what one had until she was about to lose it. "But I promised this would be a real marriage," she said, her voice trembling in spite of her best efforts to keep it steady. "It is a real marriage," Clark said softly, punctuating his words by again kissing her hand. "A lot of real marriages don't get consummated on their wedding night. And I'm not saying we won't eventually... you know. I'm just saying that I think you need a little time to get used to the idea." Her chin quivered slightly and a tear found a path down her cheek as his words began to sink in. His hand came up and gently brushed the tear away. "Give yourself a break, Lois. I mean, if someone had asked you yesterday what you would be doing tonight, I bet you wouldn't have said that you'd be checked into the honeymoon suite at the Lexor with me - as man and wife, by the way. Signing us in that way was quite a thrill, let me tell you," he added with a grin, trying desperately to lighten the mood. "But you aren't nervous," she objected, ignoring his attempt at humor. "And I doubt you would have said that this would be your wedding night either." "I am nervous," Clark corrected. "It's just that our situations are... a little different." "How's that?" "Well, I've been thinking about making love to you for most of the past year. Actually, that's not exactly true," he corrected thoughtfully. "It would probably be more accurate to say that I've spent most of the past year trying not to think about making love to you. I've probably spent more time trying not to think about that than I have about work, or anything else for that matter." This time he actually managed to get a small smile out of Lois. He didn't seem to want out of their marriage. At least he had indicated that he did think they'd consummate eventually. "So the idea of making love to you isn't exactly a new concept for me," he continued. "It obviously is for you. That's why I think we should wait until you're a little more comfortable with the idea." She looked down. "I'm sorry, Clark." "Sorry?" Clark asked. "Lois, the best moment of my life was hearing you say your vows to me today. Nothing will ever change that. I just think we should take our time before consummating our marriage. You know - get used to the change in our relationship." She studied his eyes intently for a moment, trying to be sure that he really meant the words. Once she found the assurance she was looking for she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. "I'm so sorry," she repeated. He let out a quick breath. "You have nothing to be sorry for, honey," he whispered, his hand gently stroking her hair. "I'm the one who wants to wait. I just want our first time to be as special for you as I know it will be for me." "What did you call me?" she asked, pulling back. "I..." He paused as he tried to think back. "Oh, I'm sorry. It just slipped out. I didn't mean to..." Her finger on his lips cut him off. "I sort of like it," she assured him. "So we're waiting?" she asked a little nervously. "We're waiting," he affirmed softly, his hand coming up to brush a stand of hair behind her ear. The small gesture sent warmth flooding through Lois that had been noticeably absent previously. Her eyes seemed to fasten on his mouth. She drew her finger across his lips. It was almost an unconscious act when she leaned in to touch his lips with hers. "Is this okay?" she asked, pulling back the instant she realized what she'd done. "It's more than okay," groaned Clark. "I just meant that if we aren't planning to..." She made an erratic gesture with her hand. "Is this really fair to you? I don't want you feeling..." "I love kissing you, Lois," he interrupted. Then, in an effort to prove his point, he moved closer and glanced at her mouth, silently asking her to kiss him again. She gave a small smile before answering his request. His arms slipped around her. This time, when he pulled her closer, she didn't tense. Knowing that kissing Clark wasn't just the prelude to something else allowed Lois to let go of the fear. In fact, it seemed as if with each successive kiss more of the unbearable, almost paralyzing tension left her body. When he reclined on the couch, taking her with him, she went willingly, shifting her position so that she was lying against him. His hands making their way over her back were leaving tingles this time, even through the thick terry-cloth robe. It was a good fifteen minutes later before both finally came up for air. "Wow!" gasped Clark. Lois smiled. She was thinking pretty much the same thing. And part of her wanted to continue kissing Clark, but if they let this go on too much longer... "So, do you want to watch T.V. or something?" she asked, moving off the couch. "It seems to me that the last time we were here, you found some games," said Clark, still trying to get his bearings after that kiss which, he thought, almost made waiting to consummate their marriage worth it. It was so much more incredible when Lois was right there with him. So if she needed time, that was what he was going to give her. He watched as Lois began searching cupboards until she found the games. "Scrabble. Trivial Pursuit. Twister. A deck of cards. Yahtzee and Jenga." She pulled out the final game. "I haven't played this in a while," she said, looking hopefully at Clark. "Jenga it is," said Clark, pulling himself into a sitting position as Lois made her way back over to him and began setting up the wooden blocks into a tower. * * * * * * * * * Clark watched the concentration on Lois' face with absolute fascination as she slowly worked one of the wooden blocks out of the tower. Her lower lip was being held lightly between her teeth as she focused on her task. He was fairly certain she wasn't even breathing as she gently eased the piece from its position. Never had he known anyone who was quite as competitive - and he had been whipping her butt. It was just so much fun when she would challenge him to another game, determined that this time she would win. What she didn't know was that his reflexes were so good, his hands so steady that it would take a miracle for her to beat him. For a moment, he was tempted to let her win a game. But almost as quickly as the thought had come, he dismissed it. In spite of how much Lois loved winning, he couldn't quite bring himself to willingly lose. She let out a breath when the small piece of wood was finally free from the tower. Taking a deep breath, she placed it carefully on top. "Your turn," she said triumphantly. He moved closer to the tower, deciding which piece of wood he would remove next. His hand was steady as he began working the wood free from the tower. In his peripheral vision, he noticed Lois, who was seated on the other side of the coffee table, pour the remainder of the champagne into their glasses. Once she was finished, she placed her elbows on the table and watched him intently, as if silently willing the tower to fall over. His hand paused when he noticed that her robe had fallen slightly open. Unable to stop himself, he glanced unobtrusively in her direction. He was unintentionally being given an incredible view of the valley between her breasts. His hand jerked and the tower collapsed. "I win! I win!" Lois exclaimed. "You cheated," Clark responded. "How did I cheat?" Lois asked defensively. Clark glanced down at her attire again. He almost chuckled when she pulled the lapels on her bathrobe closer together. "That's not my fault," she pouted. "I can't help it if you can't keep your eyes to yourself." "It was worth losing just for that view," he responded. He laughed when she rolled her eyes. It was great finally having Lois back. He was about to suggest a rematch when he noticed Lois yawn. "Tired?" he asked. She nodded. "I didn't get much sleep last night," she responded before looking at him, obviously struggling with a question. Before he could wonder too deeply about what was on her mind, she stood up and took his hand. "Let's go to bed, Clark," she said, pulling him to his feet. He followed, fairly confident that she meant nothing more by the gesture than that they should sleep in the same bed. He was glad that she was the one making this decision. When he had suggested that they wait, he had been worried that he'd find himself once again sleeping on the couch. That thought bothered him much more than the idea of waiting to consummate their marriage. He just hadn't known how to bring it up. He was glad she had. * * * * * * * * * Lois crawled into the large bed beside Clark. Although the bed was certainly spacious enough that they would never have to touch, she automatically curled up against his t- shirt-covered chest. He reached over and switched off the lamp by the bed, leaving the room awash in the reflected light coming in the windows. "Do you know what this reminds me of?" Lois asked. "What?" "When we talk on the phone while in bed at night." Clark smiled. "Yeah, except then I couldn't do this." His words were followed by him giving her a soft kiss on the forehead. There was a moment of silence before Lois spoke again. "I'm sorry about tonight, Clark," she whispered into the darkness. "Would you quit apologizing?" he responded. "But I should have..." Her voice trailed off. "It's okay. I do understand, you know." "I wish I did," she murmured. "It's not that I don't find you attractive. It's just... I don't know what happened." "Lois, don't be so hard on yourself. Before tonight, we had only shared what... three kisses since we've known each other and..." "Four," she corrected. "Four?" Clark asked. Trying to separate the kisses she'd given Clark from the kisses she'd given Superman was hard. But off the top of his head, he could only remember three. "When Trask threw us out of the airplane," she began. "Right." "The last time we were here," she continued. "Mmmm... Now that was a great one," said Clark, giving her a playful squeeze. She smiled. "The kiss you gave me when you handed in your resignation at the Planet during the heat wave," she said. "Oh, right," said Clark. That was the one he was missing. "And the one after we exchanged our wedding vows today." Clark grinned. "So you remember all of them, huh?" he asked. "Of course I remember all of them," she said softly. "In case no one has ever told you before, you are a wonderful kisser. And, Clark, it isn't as if the idea of making love to you has never crossed my mind," she continued. "Obviously, not as often as it has with you," she rushed to clarify. Clark chuckled in response. "But it has crossed my mind. Like when, shortly after you first came to work for the Planet, I came to pick you up and you were wearing a towel." "It's nine o'clock. I thought you'd be naked," he responded with a laugh. She slapped him on the chest. "It's just that I quelled those thoughts pretty quickly. I guess I just haven't had time to..." Her voice trailed off. "I know," he whispered, his arms tightening around her. "We'll figure it out together, Lois. I promise." She sighed, snuggling up closer. They lay in silence for a few minutes before Clark broke it. "So how do you like marriage so far?" Clark asked. Lois chuckled. "I guess it's okay," she responded. "Just okay. Well, I'm going to have to work on that." She raised herself on her elbow so that she could look over at him. "Clark, if you had been any more fantastic today, I'd have to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming." She could see his smile. "I just love you so much, Lois," he said. "It makes it easy." She looked down at where her hand was playing with his t- shirt, picking imaginary lint off it. "It is all right if I say that - isn't it?" Clark asked. "Of course," she responded immediately. "I just... I wish I could say it back." "No, Lois," said Clark. "I don't expect..." "The problem is," continued Lois, cutting Clark off. "I don't know how to put into words what I feel for you. It feels so inadequate saying that I like you - 'cause what I feel is so much deeper than that." "It's okay, Lois, you don't have to..." "I know!" Lois exclaimed, cutting him off a second time as she suddenly realized exactly how to express her feelings. She brought her hand up to gently run over his face as she said, "I absolutely adore you, Clark Kent." She heard his quick intake of breath and knew that he finally understood how she felt about him. She leaned over and softly kissed him before once again lowering herself against his chest. His arm pulled her a little closer. "So what happens after tonight?" Clark asked. "What do you mean?" "Well, where are we going to live? Do you have to work tomorrow or do we get to eat breakfast in bed? Are we going to work on this book idea? Do you want to go on a honeymoon and if so, where? Things like that." Lois smiled. He was such a man - always thinking about what came next. "Well," she said, "that's a lot of questions to tackle all at once, but..." "Oh, I'm sorry," interrupted Clark. "Do you want..." "It's okay, Clark," Lois interrupted with a laugh. "You might be interested to know that I quit my job today. As a result, I don't have to go to work tomorrow - so breakfast in bed is definitely on. But I'd like to leave the honeymoon for a while - maybe wait until after we've sold the book." "So you like my idea of writing a book?" he asked. "You even have to ask? Clark, I love the idea." "Any preference about where we're going to live?" "I've always loved your apartment. Why don't we move in there - at least for the time being? I can probably sublet my apartment until the lease is up." She paused for a moment, knowing that this next topic wasn't going to be quite as pleasant. "And tomorrow I need to go see Lex." She could feel him tense, but he didn't respond. "I know what you're thinking, Clark. But I have to tell him I can't marry him." "I'd just feel better if I were there," said Clark. "And if your situations were reversed... How would you feel if I brought Lex to tell you I couldn't marry you?" He was silent for a moment. "Point taken," he finally responded. Clark lay staring into the darkness long after Lois had fallen asleep. Finally, he reached up and removed his glasses, laying them on the night stand. He glanced down at the woman sleeping against his chest. He supposed he could sleep with the glasses on. Unless he rolled over in his sleep, he'd be fine. But even if she did see him without his glasses, he doubted she'd make the connection to Superman. After all, in sleep his face would be relaxed and his hair a mess. Superman was always tense and his hair was never out of place. Besides, she wouldn't be expecting Superman. For a moment, he felt a stab of guilt, but he quickly brushed it aside. Not telling Lois that he was Superman had been the right thing to do. In fact, under the circumstances, it had been the only thing to do. After all, she had been determined to get married, and marriage to either Luthor or Superman would have destroyed her. And he loved her too much to ever let that happen. No. He refused to feel guilty for doing the right thing. Of course, if Lois ever found out... He pushed that thought aside. He'd deal with that issue if and when he had to - not a moment before. She gave a soft sigh and he smiled. He was glad that she'd decided to change into something else before going to sleep. She'd confiscated one of his t-shirts and a pair of his shorts. It would have been almost impossible to respect her boundaries if she were still wearing that sexy, black nightie. It was difficult enough as it was. He couldn't say that he wasn't disappointed that they hadn't made love. But he knew Lois. She had been so determined to give him what he wanted. He had to love her for that. But at the same time she'd been so scared. For a woman who could face down men twice her size without flinching, it was somewhat surprising. On the other hand, the kisses they'd shared after he'd said they would wait had certainly proven that the electricity was there. He just needed to give her a little time. He finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. * * * * * * * * * Lois found herself fighting to keep the smile off her face as she made her way to the penthouse in the Lex Towers the next morning. Although they hadn't made love, something incredible was definitely happening between her and Clark. Although she couldn't quite put it into words, it felt as if her heart, which had seemed to shrivel a little more every year, was starting to come to life again. And it felt good. It felt really, really good. Clark had once again asked if he could come with her when she spoke to Lex. She knew it had been hard for him, but when she told him that he'd have to trust her judgment, he'd relented. He'd pouted, but he'd relented. She smiled once again when she remembered how cute he looked when he pouted. Then a new thought occurred to her and she frowned. She wasn't entirely sure why she'd been so scared to make love to him last night. Being nervous was understandable in the circumstances, but he had been right. She'd been completely terrified. Was it because she wasn't in love with him? She gave her head a slight shake. No. The first time she'd had sex, she hadn't been in love with her partner. He was her date on the night of the senior prom and, although she liked him, she certainly hadn't been in love with him. They had just gotten carried away. So she knew that not being in love with Clark wasn't the problem. So was she afraid he would leave her if she slept with him? Again she shook her head. That was crazy. He was her husband. If he was just looking for a roll in the hayloft - she smiled at the appropriateness of that phrase considering where Clark had grown up - he wouldn't have actually married her to do it. After all, he'd never even made a serious pass at her during the year that they had worked together. He had asked her out once, when he'd first started, but that had ended in disaster. Since then, he'd not as much as hinted that he wanted to be more than friends - well, until the day before yesterday. He certainly teased her and sometimes that teasing had sexual undertones, but he'd never given the impression that he was looking for her to respond - except with some smart-ass comment of her own. Besides, she knew Clark. When he'd said he only intended to exchange marriage vows once in his life, he'd meant it. She briefly wondered if she was frigid. She didn