Chip Off the Old Clark By Stopquitdont@bellsouth.net Rating: PG Submitted April, 2004 ++++ As with anything I write, I think the readers know to expect something different. With this one, you'll definitely get different. I heard a song once and after seeing the episode COTOC I thought it would be cool to see if I could weave them into a readable story. I also wondered how Lois would handle this particular situation. So... Huge thanks to my wonderful beta-readers. I'd be completely lost without Jenni Debbage, who is also a dear friend. Avia, who makes me rewrite and rewrite more, is simply the best. And to Wanda Detroit, who I recently met. She's become a quick friend and provides the best encouragement! Lois and Clark is property of Warner Bros. and DC Comics. No infringement is intended. No profit will be made from this. All other disclaimers apply. ++++ Huge, soulful eyes, filled with tears, stared out the second story window of the modest suburban home as the gray sedan pulled into the drive. He didn't want to go with them. He'd really thought he'd found his home here. The Sanders were the best people he'd ever met in his short life, besides his mom of course. But Mom was gone; she'd left him that horrible night over two years ago. And since then it had been one foster home after another. "Robin?" He turned and looked at Kitty. She'd always insisted he call her that, even right from the beginning. She'd said, `Mrs. Sanders is Jeff's mother.' Even then he'd liked Kitty. "I don't want to go." "I know, sweetie, but it's time." She held out her hand to the small boy and he reluctantly took it to be led downstairs. Jeff, a large man with a gentle spirit, watched as the boy he'd come to love came to his side. He kneeled and pulled the child to his chest. "We'll never forget you, Robin," he told him softly. Robin pulled back to look at Jeff. "I won't forget you." After hugging Kitty, he allowed the social worker to take his hand and lead him to the car. He took one last look at the home he wanted so badly to be his before climbing inside the vehicle. He turned to peer out the back glass, waving to Kitty and Jeff as they stood on the sidewalk watching him go. When he couldn't see them any longer, he settled in the seat and waited for the story he knew was coming. The social workers always told him the background of the next family he would go to live with. He just hoped they liked baseball. **** Lois held her left hand up so the light shone on the brilliant little stone that graced her ring finger. She liked admiring it, unable to believe that she'd waited so long to say yes. She had said something about it, then was immediately lost in her thoughts again, so she had to focus to hear what Clark was saying. "... And how long it took for you to *finally* put it on." She giggled as she responded to him, thinking how nice it was to just spend some quiet time together. They lived on the edge, so being able to do something as mundane as share dinner at home was a welcomed break. They continued their light conversation as Clark prepared their dinner. She told him she was looking forward to him cooking and he admitted there was a lot he didn't know about her. That thought startled her. There was a lot she didn't know about Clark as well. Oh, who cares! His lips were doing wonderful things to her neck right now. "Mmm," she moaned as she searched for his lips with her own. Clark met them with a smile on his face. Her eyes were glassy when he pulled back to look at her. She smiled and drew her hands down to run over his chest. "That feels good," he told her softly. "You feel good," she replied before leaning into another kiss he was only too happy to grant. She was smiling when she leaned back. "You know. we could just skip dinner and be naughty." Clark laughed softly before he leaned to nuzzle her neck. "Yes, we could," he agreed. Lois giggled again before drawing back to look at him. "This does bring up an interesting subject that we haven't talked a lot about." "What?" "That subject." She waggled her brows at him, a little embarrassed to say the words. When he played innocent, she couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Me and you. This. *The* subject." Clark acted as if he'd just reached a dawning revelation. "Ahh. *that* subject." He tightened his grip around her waist and grinned widely. "Just so you know, I have no problems in that area." Lois smacked his chest playfully. "I didn't think you did. I was just wondering, you know, how you feel about that." "I feel." he growled and leaned to kiss her neck. "I feel very." he mumbled against her skin. Lois laughed at him before pushing him away. "Clark, I'm serious." She stepped out of his embrace so she could walk back to the counter to retrieve her wine. "Is this something we should. do?" "Well, I was kind of hoping we would," he told her with an odd expression on his face. She chuckled at him, almost spewing wine out of her mouth. "I'm serious here." "I am, too. If we're planning to get married, I would hope *that* is an important part of our relationship." She shook her finger at him. "Would you straighten up? I just want to know if. *this* is something you want to do now or later. Should we jump into that kind of relationship? Should we wait until our wedding?" Lois had started pacing and waving her hands, which meant unless he wanted to listen to a twenty minute babble session, he'd better stop her now. He reached and grabbed her so he could grind his mouth into hers, a little more forceful than his usual attention so that he could get attention completely. When he drew back, Lois had to struggle to catch her breath. "Wow!" she told him when she could speak again. "Yeah." He leaned to kiss her again softly. "You bring up an interesting subject actually." "Uh huh. And just so you know," she said as she pulled from him again. "I'm not. inexperienced. I mean, I've done. *that* before. Not a lot, but a few times." "Lois, neither of us was born on the day we met." "I know. I just don't want you to think I'm some kind of floozy." He laughed softly. "I don't think that. I've known you for nearly two years and in that time, you've only dated one guy. And I don't think you're into one-night stands." "No! Absolutely not." She stopped and looked at him for a moment. "Clark, I never slept with Lex." He could do nothing but look at her. As much as it had pained him to think about, he assumed Lois had been intimate with Lex. She had been engaged to the man after all. Intimacy often played an important role in such relationships, so... He refocused attention when Lois spoke again. "I guess I didn't feel comfortable. doing that, with him. I asked him to wait until our wedding night." "Is that what you want now?" Lois paused to better look at the man before her-- his beautiful eyes, wide with uncharted appeal. She wondered what those eyes would look like in the heat of passion. "No. I don't think I do want to wait." Clark's lips spread into a brilliant grin. "Mmm," was all he could manage as he advanced on her again. After a slow, sensual kiss, he drew back to look at her. "Lois, I won't push you and we don't have to start an intimate relationship for my sake." "I know that, Clark." She rubbed his face with her fingertips. "I want to start one for mine." He smiled again and let his hands roam her back. "But we don't have to start tonight. or even tomorrow. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." "What do you say we just. go with the flow? Whenever it happens, it happens." She wrapped her arms around his neck and prepared herself for another kiss. "I like the sound of that." His lips met hers just as the phone rang. "Mmm hmm hmm," Clark moaned in disappointment. "Looks like the fates would leave us alone for one night." Lois giggled when he didn't let go of her to answer the phone, deciding to see if she could distract him by kissing his neck. "Hello?" "Mr. Kent? Clark Kent?" Clark pulled back from Lois a little when he didn't recognize the voice. "Yes?" "This is Dana Grange from Metropolis Department of Family and Children's Services." Clark's expression grew serious and he patted Lois' arm to get her attention. She backed off, understanding this conversation was a serious one. "I don't understand. Why is MDFCS contacting me?" "Well, we'd really rather explain in person. Would it be possible for you to come down to the office in the morning?" "Yes." "Good. We'll see you at 8:30. And thank you, Mr. Kent." "You're welcome." He replaced the receiver and turned to Lois with a frown. "MDFCS? Do you think this could be a story?" she asked with a slight twinkle in her eyes. She loved being led to a big story, even if the caller had contacted her partner first. "What else could it be? Last I checked I hadn't beaten the kids or slapped the wife around," he joked. Lois snorted at him. "You're terrible." "Yeah. But you love me." He stole another kiss before they moved to finish their dinner. The rest of the evening was spent in conversation during their meal and cuddling on the sofa. Clark accompanied Lois home shortly before eleven and said his good-byes to do a quick patrol. Although they hadn't chosen to consummate their relationship, those thoughts hadn't been too far from either's mind. Clark's meeting the next morning too was far from their minds. It was strange how love could change your priorities. **** (2) Lois and Clark shared breakfast en-route to MDFCS the following morning, deciding they might have indeed had a story come to them. They arrived with five minutes to spare and asked for directions to Ms. Grange's office. Dana Grange was a young black woman that carried herself with an air of power and authority. She extended her hand to Clark when she came down the hallway to greet them. "You must be Clark Kent," she said with a smile. "Yes," he replied as he shook her hand. Dana withdrew and looked at Lois. "And you don't need an introduction. I recognize you from your photos." She reached to shake Lois' hand. "Thank you, I think." Lois shrugged slightly at Clark. "I didn't realize you were bringing your partner, Mr. Kent." "Isn't this about a story?" "No. This is personal." The woman's expression had grown quite serious. "Personal? I'm afraid I don't understand. I wasn't aware I needed the assistance of your agency," Clark stated in confusion. "No, I'm sure you weren't," Ms. Grange replied. Her cryptic answer didn't sit too well with Lois. She shifted next to Clark, but he settled her with a gentle touch to her arm. "Shall we speak in private?" Ms. Grange asked Clark. Clark glanced at Lois before speaking. "Ms. Grange, Lois isn't just my partner at work. She's also my fianc,e. Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in front of her." Dana appeared to look Lois over before she smiled. "This may make things a little easier then. Please, come to my office." Clark looked at Lois before taking her hand as they followed the woman down the hall to her office. She offered them a seat and took the one behind her desk. "I'm not exactly sure how to say this. First, Mr. Kent, do you know a Kimberly Logan?" Clark was puzzled by that question, but could answer immediately. "Yes. She and I went to college together, but I haven't seen her since." Dana nodded her head as she sifted through some papers. "You and she were part of Midwestern State class of." "1987," Clark helped out. "Right." Dana put the papers down and leaned back in her chair to look at Clark. "About a month ago, the Oregon Department of Family Services contacted us. Ms. Logan passed away two years ago." Clark was silent for a moment before he spoke. "I didn't know." "She died in a car accident." "I don't see where this has anything to do with me," Clark told her with a frown. "Well, you see, Mr. Kent, Ms. Logan left behind a shocked, grieving father and a son." Clark's mind raced through his memories of his relationship with Kim and suddenly he felt as if the wind had been knocked from him. He'd shared an intimate relationship with Kim and now a social worker was speaking of a son. Did they believe him to be this child's father? Was it possible the girl he'd known could have done something as terrible as to keep such information from him? Sure, they'd had a rough time at the end of their relationship, but had he *really* not known her at all? Lois' eyes immediately shot to Clark. Judging by his reaction, she had very good reason to be concerned over this news. "Mr. Kent," Dana continued. "We have reason to believe Ms. Grange's son is." "Mine," Clark finished for her. Now it was Lois' turn to catch her breath. "Oh, God," Clark gasped and dropped back against the chair. Dana reached for the papers on her desk again. "Jackie Davies from Oregon DFS was put in charge of the child's case when his mother died. His grandfather was no longer able to care for the boy after a month and has since died of heart failure. That left the minor ward of the state as Miss Logan had no other family. Miss Logan left a will, but unfortunately the only named caretaker for her son was her father. However, the will did go on to state the names of the men that could be the child's father." "Names?" Lois was temporarily snapped from her thoughts. "How many?" "Five, counting Mr. Kent." Lois was numb, unable to determine which emotion she felt more. What kind of woman had Clark been involved with? Or was this some cruel joke? She could stare between him and Ms. Grange incredulously. This couldn't be happening. Not now. He finally had everything he could possibly want. What if this child was his? "Miss. Logan stated in her will that she had been assaulted," Dana went on. "Did you know about this?" "Yes," Clark replied. "She had been to a frat party during spring break. Four guys raped her in one of the rooms of the frat house. She was too humiliated to turn them in because she'd indulged a little more than she should have. I tried unsuccessfully to change her mind, but she insisted no one would believe her." "So I guess you were the boy scout whose shoulder she cried on?" Lois asked sarcastically, unable to remain quiet any longer. It wasn't a fair assumption to make, but the pain she felt from this news was starting to take over. Lashing out was her way of dealing with those types of situations. Clark looked over at Lois. "Come on. Don't do this here," he pleaded in a fierce whisper. The last thing he needed was for Lois to blow things out of proportion without hearing all the relevant details first. Of course, he could certainly understand how she felt. He was incredibly shocked by this revelation. Yet, right now he needed Lois to remain calm because he was certain he'd need her more than he ever had. Lois tried to glare at Clark, but failed miserably. While she knew this was neither the place nor the time to get into a heated debate over Clark's past relationships, she couldn't stop the feeling of betrayal welling inside her. Just the night before they'd discussed the intimacy issue, and she'd opened up to Clark about her past. Why hadn't he done the same? Was he ashamed of the things he'd done? This felt remarkably the same as when she'd finally learned his other secret. Dana began to doubt her earlier conviction that Clark's impending marriage was a good idea after all when she saw Lois drop her head and Clark sigh heavily. She could tell the young couple loved one another and desperately needed to discuss this. However, she had a job that needed to be done. "Anyway, the boy was born in 1988. When he was left to the state, Mrs. Davies did everything she could to place him with a good family until the men on that list could be ruled out." "And this took two years?" Clark asked, unable to stop the question from leaving his lips. No matter if this boy was his or not, the little guy hadn't deserved to be without a secure and loving home. Lois forced her mind to remain open, her nerves calm as Clark spoke. It was definitely something his compassionate nature would lead him to ask. Even if his words did make him sound like he was... Well, he didn't *really* sound glad. But... Lois pleaded with whoever might be listening. "You have to understand that this isn't the only case our offices handle, Mr. Kent. Things like this take time. And there were four other men to discount." "Discount?" That jumped out at Lois. "You've proven these men weren't the father?" If the other men were not the father, there was a very good possibility that Clark could be. And if he is? What would that mean to them? "Yes, Ms. Lane. The other four men could not possibly be this child's father. The tests were conclusive. You see, the child has a very. odd blood type. In fact, it's so odd, the labs have been unable to determine the type." Clark wanted to panic. Until just now, he hadn't even thought about the blood tests. Of course, he was aware that paternity was proven that way. He couldn't take a test like that. Someone might discover more about him than he wanted them to know. But what about this child? Whether the boy was truly his son or not, there should be proof. As his mind rushed forward to search for a solution to this mounting problem, he looked to Lois with an anguished expression. She, too, had panicked when Ms. Grange mentioned blood tests. Wide, fearful eyes searched Clark's for answers to the many questions building around them. "It's amazing really," Ms. Grange continued, temporarily distracting the couple from their fears. "The child's blood isn't radically different from any other, but it does contain properties not seen before." "Properties?" Clark needed to know as many details as possible. Finding out about a potential child and losing his identity all once was too much to contemplate. "Healing properties, a few more white blood cells, and doesn't break down as easily. The scientists say he's simply incredibly healthy. Other than that, nothing extraordinary. So, proving or disproving you as the child's father should only take a matter of hours. The lab knows exactly what to look for." "And I'd have to give a blood sample?" Once again, he felt panicked. How could he do that? Needles couldn't puncture his skin. Lois shifted in her chair, a sure sign that she was afraid of that scenario as well. "No, no. Your mouth would be swabbed. It would only take a second." Unable to trust her emotions a moment longer, Lois shot to her feet, mumbled 'excuse me, and hurried from the room. She'd wanted desperately to hear every detail, but the shock of the whole situation, compounded with her fear over Clark's identity would no longer allow her to remain seated. She entered the hallway just as the first tears that had been threatening spilled down her cheeks. How did she deal with this? Just this morning she and Clark had been blissfully happy. The fates seemed to thrive on making their lives miserable. This time she'd also been incredibly. hurt. How was she supposed to feel about this? She'd only just gotten over the whole Superman issue, only to find out Clark was keeping more secrets. Granted, he hadn't exactly lied to her this time, but he hadn't told her the entire story. Even when he'd had the opportunity during their discussion the night. They might have been interrupted by Ms. Grange's phone call, but he'd had ample time to tell her about his past. She sighed heavily as she paced the hall. It wasn't exactly being fair for her to assume that Clark might have known he could have a child out there somewhere. It was obvious that he was just as shocked by this news as she was. Yet, all the reasoning in the world would not change the fact that she was hurt... incredibly hurt. She felt betrayed, even if she shouldn't. The wounds from finding out about Clark's secret identity were just too fresh in her mind. And speaking of Superman, there was the paternity issue. If Clark submitted to such tests, would his secret be revealed? What would that mean to him? To them? It was all just so overwhelming. Clark rose and watched her hurry away. He knew this had to be an incredible shock to her, but what was he supposed to do? He had to find out what was going on and determine this child's paternity for certain. His mind was already racing ahead to dealing with this new obstacle. The social worker's voice brought him out of his musings. "I'm sorry about that," Dana told him. He looked down at her and tried to force a smile as he eased back into the chair. He had to settle his nerves so that he could handle this situation with a clear head. "I know she has to be upset," Dana went on. "This is a shock." "You could say that again. I had no idea this child existed." Dana gave him a sympathetic smile. "Miss Logan stated this in her will. She said that she hadn't contacted any of you because she wasn't sure how to handle the situation. She hadn't wanted her son hurt in any way, saying he would be better off." "Yeah. Better off," Clark mumbled more to himself than to the social worker. How could Kim have possibly thought such a thing? How could she have done something like this to anyone, especially him? He thought they'd been close enough during their relationship for her to come to him if she needed some kind of help. Undoubtedly, he hadn't truly known Kim at all. "Believe me, I understand how you must feel. We contact fathers all the time who never knew they had children." Clark didn't know what to say or do. He and Kim had stayed in contact for nearly a year after she'd decided to move to Oregon with her father. That meant she knew about the baby then. He was born before they stopped communicating. How could she have done this to him? To anyone? Granted, the boys who'd assaulted her probably didn't deserve to know. If they'd been able to do such a horrible and disgusting thing to Kim, surely they wouldn't want to be told they might possibly be someone's father. But he and Kim had been so much more to each other. How could she have kept something so important from him? "Mr. Kent, I hate having to move so swiftly, but we need to get this test done. This child has been bounced around for over two years. His last foster parents wanted to adopt him." Clark's eyes shot up to Dana's. He may not have known about this child, but was this something he wanted? He'd been adopted and though he'd gotten really great parents, he was quite sure if this child was his that he should be the one to take care of the boy. That thought alone was scary. Add in everything else in his life, mainly Lois, and he became absolutely terrified. What would this all mean to them as a couple? No matter the test results, where did they go from here? "We can't decide what to do either way until this test is done," Dana continued. Then there was the issue of the paternity test itself. Was this something Clark could safely do? Would there be repercussions for Superman? Would his secret be discovered? He figured he should know such things before hand. How he wished Lois were here with him. He needed her, to talk this over with her. He needed his best friend. "You said you swab the inside of the mouth?" Ms. Grange nodded. "What happens then?" "There will be a simple typing analysis of the specimen. As I said earlier, the child's sample is already patterned, so a match will only take a few hours." "There are no extensive break-downs or studies of the sample?" Dana's brows furrowed in confusion from his question, but she answered, "No. Simple match process." "What happens to the sample when you're done?" Again, an odd question, but she'd answer his inquiry. "The samples are dipped in a solution for the testing process. It's virtually useless for anything after that, so samples are destroyed." Clark nodded before he grew thoughtful. Finally he came up with another question. "And what happens after the test?" "Well, if the test proves he's your son, you will have authority to grant adoption if you'd like. I can tell you that he was very happy in the Sanders' home. Oregon officials had removed him after the Sanders expressed an interest in adopting him because that's procedure. But they are still very interested. Of course, you also become custodial parent. If you should choose to exercise that right, Oregon would transport the child out here and you'd take physical custody once all the paperwork is signed." "And just like that I'd be someone's daddy?" Clark said softly, almost mournfully. If it was proven he was this child's father, no matter what decision he made about the child's welfare, Clark knew his life would be forever changed. "Unfortunately, it only takes a moment to become a father. Becoming someone's daddy will take a little more time than that. Our office will spend a few hours or so acquainting you with the child before we turn him over to you. And, if you decide you can't handle the responsibility, the adoption option would remain open. His foster parents in Oregon wanted whoever is determined to be the father to know that fact." Part of him wanted to protest anyone adopting his potential child, but rational thought told him he should get all of the facts before making any kind of decision. He also liked Ms. Grange's answer about being a daddy. Her answer reminded him a lot of something his father would say. He decided he liked the young woman and that she was genuine in her concern for this boy. Clark was also concerned about the child's well-being. "And if he isn't my son?" "If it's proven that you're not the father, the foster parents will move ahead with the adoption. It's a good thing, too. If you're not the child's father, we have no idea who could be. As I've said, Ms. Logan specifically named you and the others as possible matches." Clark nodded. He was still incredibly shocked and a little hurt. If this child was his, that meant that Kim had deliberately kept that knowledge from him all these years. Even if she hadn't known for sure that he was the baby's father, he would have been more than willing to help her in any way he could have. And remembering how close he and Kim used to be, that help might have lead to much, much more. He had to mentally shake himself. What could he possibly be thinking? Kim hadn't been the one for him. His feelings for Lois proved that beyond doubt. He felt things for his partner he'd never once felt for Kim, even though they'd had a much more intimate relationship than he and Lois shared now. Simply put, he was completely in love with Lois and had never been with Kim. How ironic, he thought. He'd possibly had a son with a woman he hadn't been in love with and may lose the woman he *did* love because of it. He mentally sighed and tried to refocus on the situation at hand. He couldn't put off the inevitable forever... even if he wanted to. "How soon can we do the test?" "We can get your DNA sample right now. We have a collector on site." Dana rose and started for the door, taking for granted that he was ready to give the sample needed for the test. Clark took a deep breath and followed. In the hallway, Lois was pacing furiously. She stopped and faced him. "Well?" she demanded. "They want to take a DNA sample." Clark could only ask for her to understand with his pleading expression. He knew she was upset. Heck, he was upset. Right now though, he really needed her. Lois could only stare at him. How could he be agreeing to do this test? Didn't he realize what it could mean for him as Superman? For them as a couple? <> Lois knew Clark would want to know for sure if he was this child's father. Heck, she wanted to know. The rest of their lives hang on that fact. If this child was his... if the test showed... <> She didn't know what would happen then, but she had to know the results for sure. Lois also knew that Clark would not agree to a test that would put his super side at risk of exposure. She finally looked away before reluctantly following Clark and Ms. Grange at a discreet distance. **** "This is painless," the man collecting the DNA sample told Clark as he slipped on his latex gloves. He lifted the long swab, ready to take the evidence that would decide Clark's future. "Open wide." Lois gulped loudly as she watched the process. Of all the things to be happening today, this was certainly not anything she could have imagined. She wanted to yell out for him to stop, but knew they could not move on until he had. Blinking to stop the sting of more tears, she kept her eyes riveted to the scene playing out before her. Clark opened his mouth to allow the cotton end of the stick to be rubbed inside his cheeks, even as his mind raced to process all that was happening. How could he have fathered a child and not known it? How could he have lived day in and day out without ever knowing he had a flesh and blood relative somewhere out there? And what about the boy? He'd lived the last two years thinking he was alone. Was the child showing signs of being super? Had others noticed? So many questions... He was brought back from his fugue as the man began to withdraw from him. When the procedure was finished, the swab was placed in a sterile container and sealed with tape. "Thank you," the man told Clark. "Yeah." Clark's normally polite manner seemed to escape him right now. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to respond with a cheery tone. "How long before we know?" he asked Dana. "I've asked for priority on this one. Normally it would take about forty eight hours, but we should know something by 3 pm." Clark nodded and looked up at Lois. She averted her eyes from his, causing his heart to clench. "Mr. Kent," Dana went on. "If the child is determined to be your son, we would like to move ahead with the acquaintance process. That is, if you are prepared to take custody." How did he respond to that? His compassionate side wanted to shout that if this child was his, of course he'd take custody. Yet, right now his selfish, fearful side was demanding to be heard. The reality was that this situation could ruin the life he was trying to build with Lois. He momentarily wasn't even sure he wanted to know at all if he the father. Ms. Grange had told him there was a good family willing to adopt him and for the briefest of seconds, he wanted to say he'd agree to the adoption without ever knowing if the child was really his. But he couldn't do that. And he couldn't make such a huge decision now. He had to talk to Lois and could only hope she'd be open and willing to discuss this rationally. Then there was also a part of him that was tingling in anticipation. If this was true, the child would be his only true link to this world. To the alien part of him, this could mean a great deal. But, he realized as he saw the expression on Lois' face, this could wreck his life as he knew it. At this point, no matter what the test proved, there would be a long, hard road ahead for him and Lois as a couple. He sighed and focused on Ms. Grange again. "How about we just wait for the results first? I think we need a little time to process this all," Clark told her as he rose from the chair. "Yes, of course. I will call you as soon as we know." "Thank you." Clark pulled a card from his pocket. "This is my number at the Daily Planet." "I'll talk to you this afternoon." Clark nodded and turned to open the door. Lois beat him to it, snatching the knob in agitation. She hurried through and down the hall. She wanted to put as much distance between herself and Clark as she could to have a moment to think. Clark had just managed to make it into the jeep before Lois shoved it into gear and left the parking lot with a squeal of tires. He knew his partner well enough not to say anything until she regained a little control. Neither said a word until Lois stopped inside the parking garage at the Planet. She snatched the keys from the ignition before twisting toward Clark. "This is unbelievable!" "Tell me about it," Clark mumbled. "A son, Clark! That's. that's. I just don't know how to handle this!" Her voice had risen considerably, her hands gripping the steering wheel until her knuckles nearly turned white. "Oh, and I do?! Lois, this isn't exactly something I'd ever imagined." Her head shot back around to glare at him. "So, this is definitely a possibility? This child *could* be yours?" He wished so desperately he say no. He'd run over his time with Kim over and over in his mind several times. They'd taken precautions. In the beginning both had taken the responsibility for protection. But the last couple of times, Clark had forgone his side of the equation, reassured that her birth control pills were enough. Unfortunately, even the most reliable methods are not fool proof. "Yes," he told Lois softly. "There's a possibility." "Damn, Clark! Didn't you think at all? You don't play games with something like that." "Don't you think I know that?" He was irritated that she didn't have more faith in him. "Lois, Kim was not some fling. She and I never intended to start anything, but we did care for one another a great deal. We were not careless. We took precautions. Unfortunately, even the best protection in the world fails." "Have you ever heard of abstinence?" She added a considerable amount of sarcasm to that question. She was upset and wanted him to feel just as badly as she did. "Excuse me? Weren't you the one that stood in my kitchen last night and told me that you weren't exactly a virgin?" "But I don't have a child!" "And until today, I never thought I did! What do you think, Lois? I hid this child from you? That I. abandoned him? Ran out on his mother?" "I don't know what I think!" Clark could only stare at her with his mouth hanging open. This hurt worse than when she rejected his declaration of love last year. He shook his head in frustration and looked out the front window. "I can't believe you would think such a thing. I wouldn't lie about something like this." "Yeah, well, the thing is you did lie. every day for nearly two years." He looked back at Lois with pain filled eyes. "That was different and you know it." "I don't know anything any more," she finished on a whisper before flopping against the seat. They sat in silence for a long moment before she spoke again. "How many others will show up claiming you're their child's father?" "Lois." He couldn't believe she was doing this. "No! Don't avoid the issue. Answer my question!" she demanded with a pointed finger. He'd had enough. She was being childish and he couldn't stand another second. "Fine! There was only one other woman besides Kim. A beautiful young woman and a princess to boot. I met her in Nigeria and our relationship lasted for nearly a year. For a while I really thought she and I might have something special. But she was forced by the customs of her country and her position to marry another. We were both devastated, but I moved on and so did she. No, she will not say I'm her child's father. I know because I've talked to her about three months ago. Although, she is very pregnant. with her *husband's* baby!" Clark took a breath and went on. "Yes, Lois, I have indulged in the pleasures of intimacy. But no, I can't say I regret any of it. It's not something I did outside the two relationships I've told you about simply because I didn't feel like I was with the right person. And by the way you're acting, it'll be a long damn time before I experience that release again because I seemed to have found the wrong person again!" Lois was shocked into silence as Clark threw open the door and exited. He slammed the metal back with a bang before he strode off for the stairwell. This was one of the few times in her life she couldn't think of a single thing to say or do. All she felt was this all-consuming pain. Rationally she knew she shouldn't be this upset, but irrationally the thought of Clark with someone else was unbearable. That gave her pause. Is that what was really bothering her? Was she jealous because Clark had in fact *had* a life before her? She'd had one before him and expected him to just take it in stride. <> She leaned her head to rest on her hands where they once again gripped the steering wheel. Lois had to admit the child bothered her as well. How was she going to deal with that? She and Clark were supposed to be planning a wedding. Now they may be shopping for toys and sneakers. Was that something she wanted? Could she, would she, stay with Clark if this child was his? She was startled when she realized she couldn't answer that question. Oh, she was horrible. Clark's words repeated themselves painfully in her head. In her heart she knew he'd only said what he had about not having found the right woman again was said through pain, but it didn't make it sting any less for her. Those words had cut like a knife, exactly the intention he had in mind. Or did he? Clark wasn't one to say things he knew would be hurtful. But knowing still didn't make it any easier. Of course, this situation wasn't exactly easy. She reluctantly hauled herself from the jeep and up to the newsroom. Luckily Perry had a story that required them to do separate research. She wasn't sure she could stand herself let alone face Clark now. She took her information and left again just as quickly as she'd come. She'd vaguely noticed Clark was already gone. It appeared he needed to be alone as much as she did. **** (3) His side of the research for their latest story took Clark only about on hour to accomplish, and he was able to do so outside the office. Then he chose to spend a little while patrolling as Superman before returning to face Lois again. Flying usually helped to clear his mind and if there was a time he needed to clear it, now was the time. What was he going to do if this child turned out to be his? He had no idea how to take care of a child. Sure, he had the best role models in his parents, but they lived all the way in Kansas. And his parents. They'd be stunned. What would they think of him? What would they think of Kim? They'd met her once. Would they react poorly of her and reflect that back onto the child? He answered that quickly, of course not. They'd go out of their way to help the little boy out while he adjusted to his new father and surroundings. Then there was Superman. How would he handle being Superman *and* a single parent? It would be almost impossible to keep his alter ego a secret. Was it fair to ask a small child to keep such confidences? And what about the need to fly away in a hurry? He couldn't do that with a child in the house. If ever he needed Lois more, it was now. Lois. What about her? She was so upset over this. He couldn't blame her for that. He'd be upset if he was in her shoes. She'd had a difficult time reconciling her feelings over his dual identity and now she had to deal with another life-changing part of his past. How would she possibly deal with this? Obviously it was going to be a huge problem for them both. He needed her more now than he'd ever needed her before, yet it just didn't seem she felt the same way. He also needed to apologize for his hurtful comments in the car that morning. Causing Lois even more pain hadn't been his intention, but he couldn't have stopped himself if he'd tried. He had already been in shock when she lashed out at him. Thinking that she could believe him to be so careless and irresponsible tore through him with unforgiving force, causing him to say things he definitely didn't mean. He shrugged off further thoughts when his pager vibrated against his side. It was a number he didn't recognize, so he landed in the nearest alley and hurried down the sidewalk to the Planet. It could be Ms. Grange calling with the results to this test, then he'd know the direction in which his life would moving. Clark hurried past Lois to his desk and dialed the number in his pager. "This is Clark Kent returning your call." "Mr. Kent, this is Dana Grange." "Yes, Ms. Grange. Are the results in?" "Yes. We got them back a little sooner than expected, but I would like to deliver the results in person. Is it possible to meet this afternoon? I can come out to your home." Clark's heart sank and soared at the same time. He was no idiot. She'd suggested a meeting at his home for a reason. While he wanted to argue that he'd come right over for the results now, he really wanted to talk with Lois. "I can be home by six," Clark told her. "344 Clinton." "Good. I'll see you then." Clark dropped the receiver in silence. This couldn't be happening. He had just managed to get the girl. The child wasn't supposed to come for a few years yet. And how could Kim have done this to him? He'd thought they meant something to each other, if nothing more than close friends. This wasn't something close friends did to one another. He glanced over at Lois, who averted her gaze in a hurry. Apparently she'd been listening to the conversation. How was he going to tell her this? He shoved a hand through his hair in frustration before turning to face the jury. He approached Lois, who was doing a very good job of ignoring him. "Lois?" She tapped against the keyboard furiously a second more before turning to Clark. "What?" "Could I speak with you a moment?" She didn't answer, but rose and stomped into the conference room. She was pacing in agitation when he came in and closed the door. To add a little more privacy, Clark shut the blinds. "Ms. Grange called," he began when he'd finished his task. "She's coming to my place this evening to give me the results. I'd really like for you to be there with me." "I don't know, Clark. This is." She looked away as tears filled her eyes. He went to her side, automatically reaching out to comfort her. He was touched that she didn't pull away. "Lois, I know this is shocking. I'm just as stunned as you are. And I realize you're a little angry..." "I'm hurt, Clark." "I understand that." "Do you?" She met his gaze for the first time. "I know we both have a past. It wasn't like I expected you to be a virgin. I just expected to be the one to give you sons," she whispered. His heart wrenched and he reached up to cup her cheek. "Lois, until today I wondered if I could actually father children because of my biology. And I know you're hurting because this child may be mine, and I'm sorry for the things I said earlier. But Lois, I'm hurting, too." His hand fell to her shoulder and down to grasp her hand. "To know there may have been a child out there that was mine and I never knew... That means I have missed so much precious time," he finished on a whisper. "That's time I can never have back." Lois wanted to die. She'd never seen Clark cry, but his eyes filled with tears. All day she'd thought only of herself; of how she'd deal with this. She'd failed to think of Clark. With the tender heart he had, this had to be killing him. She'd admitted that there was no way Clark would have abandoned a child had he known about him. Those comments had been said in an attempt to hide her bruised feelings. Now her pain seemed to pale in comparison to his. She reached down and grasped his other hand in hers. "I know you're hurting." "You have a funny way of showing it." Clark couldn't stop the smart remark. His wounded pride over her treatment of him earlier stung incredibly. He couldn't stop himself from lashing out. "What should I do here, Clark? Welcome this child with open arms?" "I would hope that you'd at least give it some consideration *if* the child is mine. That would make him a part of me. When you love someone, you love all of them." "I do love you." "Just not a part of me from my past?" Lois stared at him for a moment. She couldn't believe he was getting so upset. <> her conscience pointed out. "Clark, I just didn't expect to have to be anyone's mother before I became a wife!" "Who asked you to be a mother?!" He wanted to take that one back almost as soon as it left his lips. He watched as it hit Lois full force, once again stoking her raging emotions. She turned and stomped to the door. Clark scrambled to catch up before she could leave. His hand reached out to grasp her shoulder. "Lois, I'm sorry." "Yeah," was all she said as she stood stiffly in his grasp. He lifted his other hand and gently squeezed her shoulders. "I don't know what to do here. I have so much floating around in my head. A seven year old boy. How could I have missed that? And to find out about him and lose you in the same day? That would kill me. Lois, please, please don't leave me now. I need you." "And if he's yours? Where do we go from here?" "I don't know. They will bring him to me. or. or I have the option to sign adoption papers for his last foster family." Lois turned to look at him. "What?" "Ms. Grange said his foster parents want to adopt him, if I should choose not to take him." Lois searched his face for several long moments. She knew that was a painful subject for Clark. How could he do something like that with his own son? "Is that something you'd consider?" she whispered. Is that what Clark was thinking of doing? Would he give away his child because of her? More to the point, did she want him to? Horrified by her true feelings, she held her breath as she waited for him to answer. Clark didn't think he could possibly feel any worse, but he was wrong. She wasn't simply asking if adoption had crossed his mind. She was asking if he'd consider doing that for her. How could she ask him to do something like that? He'd be forced to choose between her and his own child. Could he live with a decision like that? Could he live without her? He looked down as more tears came to his eyes. As much as he wanted to say no, he just couldn't. <> "Maybe... maybe I should at least hear about this family," he told her softly as he lifted his eyes to meet hers. <> He glanced down at the floor briefly before looking back up at her. Lois almost gasped at his expression. How could she do this to him? Did she really want him to make a choice like that? She didn't know what she wanted. She *did* know he was in pain and needed her. She reached out automatically to embrace him. He came to her willingly and together both wept softly. **** Lois and Clark quickly finished up at the office and left so they could have some time to talk before Ms. Grange came to deliver the news that could change their whole lives. They entered Clark's apartment in silence, both too miserable to be the one to start the conversation. Clark took off his jacket and tie before he put on a pot of coffee. He leaned against the counter as he waited on the pot to finish. Lois chose to change into a pair of Clark's sweats before she ventured into the kitchen where he stood. She leaned against the counter beside him, content to remain silent as well. After a while though, she'd had as much as she could stand. "How could a woman do that to a man?" She chose to direct her turbulent emotions on someone other than herself or Clark. There was enough anger and hurt to go around and she was fairly certain they'd go through the whole array of feelings before this was settled in any way. "I don't know. The only thing I can come up with is that Kim was still in so much pain from her attack that she wasn't thinking clearly." "Well, don't you think you rushed things a bit after that?" Clark looked over at Lois with wide eyes. "She and I slept together *before* the attack." Lois shut her mouth again. Why did she keep saying such flippant things? She just couldn't help herself for putting blame on Clark for this. If he hadn't slept with the girl in the first place... She sighed and tried to remember that she wasn't the only one upset by this whole thing. "I'm sorry, Clark. This is just." She stopped and wiped the moisture welling in her eyes. "I'd told myself earlier I would stay rational about this because we needed to talk. But I'm so... sorry," was all she could offer him for the moment. He reached out and rubbed her arm. "I know. I'm sorry, too. But Lois, Kim and I were good friends. It wasn't like we rushed into a physical relationship or anything. And sex didn't define our relationship. Yes, we slept together more than once, but after her attack she felt she could never be desirable again. I tried to reassure her otherwise, but, unfortunately, it only made things worse. She eventually moved to her father's in Oregon." Lois resumed her position against the cabinet, standing in silence for a bit. She vaguely wondered when Clark's compassionate qualities had started to develop. He'd shown his girlfriend that he cared and wanted to help her heal even as far back as college. So why had the girl done such a thing to him? Clark sighed heavily, all his emotions starting to weigh heavily on him. "I truly felt I knew her," he said absently. Lois turned to focus on him, immediately ready to offer comfort. No matter what was happening or how much pain she was in, Clark was hurting too. Since she'd admitted this man was an essential part of her future, being there for him was no longer a choice. "I don't think I was ever 'in love' with Kim, but I did love her. And I cared about her feelings. I thought she'd felt the same way. Since speaking with Ms. Grange and learning about this boy, all I've been able to think is 'how could she?' I know she was in a lot of pain after her assault, but keeping something like this, from me... I can't believe she did that." He finally met Lois' gaze. "Now I understand a little about how you felt when you found out about Superman." "Clark, this is very, very different." "No, it isn't. I kept something from you that altered the rest of lives together." "And so did Kim," Lois finished for him. While this secret had altered *their* lives, it was Clark she thought of now. She reached out to smooth her hand over his upper arm. "I can't even imagine what you must feel." "I feel very... hurt." The last word slipped out even as understanding began to dawn. Lois felt exactly the same way. So, where did they go from here? They both lapsed into silence for several moments, each allowing a little more understanding of the other's feelings take place. Finally Lois' mind shifted gears. "How do I live up to the image of what she meant?" She gave voice to a thought she'd had several times since that morning. "What?" "Clark, this child will remember his mother. How do I compare to someone that isn't even here anymore?" Lois had switched gears, the way she had a habit of doing, and jumped directly to motherhood. "Lois, Kim was a great person and I'm sure the boy knows that. He's also old enough to know that you're not her." "And he's old enough to resent you for not being there," Lois pointed out a matter that had occurred to Clark more than once today, again switching gears trying to keep up with her wandering thoughts. "I know. What if she's told him all kinds of things? How do I ever convince him that I never knew?" Without realizing it, they'd begun to look ahead to adjusting to life with this child. "I wish they'd told us his name. I hate just calling him *him*." "Yeah," Clark agreed before they both lapsed back into silence. He turned when he realized the coffee was ready and made them each a cup so they could settle to drink it on the sofa. Once settled, Clark looked over at Lois. "Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea if I find out what kind of people those foster parents are," Clark commented suddenly. If this child was his, there was no way he wanted to give him up, but at the same time his rational side kept chiming in that the child might be better off somewhere that he was familiar with. Since finding out about this child, he'd only thought of himself and how this could affect his relationship with Lois. Maybe it was time to think of what was best for the boy. Lois met his gaze, able to see all the uncertainty in his eyes, but unable to disagree. "Couldn't hurt to have all the facts." That's what they'd do as reporters. "No." He sipped his coffee for a moment. "We're talking as if we already know he's mine." "Come on, Clark. Why else would Ms. Grange come here to give you the news? She wants to see where you live in case you want your son, not to mention the unusual properties in his blood. You don't get those from any regular Joe." Choosing to deliberately forego thinking of his super side and how it pertained to this whole situation just yet, Clark looked around his apartment. It was a great place for a bachelor, but not so great for a growing boy or and the neighborhood wasn't the best either. "Another strike against me in the. child rearing department," he thought. Was he actually trying to convince himself that the adoption would be a good idea? Lois didn't know what else to say and judging by Clark's silence, neither did he. It was obvious he found his apartment wanting, so she reached out to lay a hand on his leg. "I like this place," she commented. "In fact, I had planned to ask if we could live here after we'd married." "Really?" "Yeah." She looked around the room. "This place is great. Warm, cozy. Everything my place isn't." "And now? Will there be a wedding now?" Clark had to ask. She'd been so upset since they'd learned of this child that he wasn't even sure if they'd be friends after this, let alone get married. Lois met his hopeful eyes with her confused ones. She just couldn't answer that question. There was nothing more she wanted in this world than to marry Clark. But if this child turned out to be his, she wasn't so sure. She loved him and she'd always love him, but a child, a seven year old child was something she couldn't embrace as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She'd need time, to adjust and get to know that child, to accept the part of that child that was someone else entirely. She hadn't known *Kim* and was still dealing with how she felt about Clark knowing her. And Clark would need time, too. They shouldn't throw in a marriage on top of everything else. When she didn't answer, Clark laid his head back against the cushions and closed his eyes to stop the tears stinging his lids. He'd wondered all day if she meant what she'd said at the Planet. Now he knew. Lois loved him, he knew that. Yet, it appeared her emotions wouldn't extend to include his son. If he took the child, would she ever accept him? Would being a father really destroy their relationship forever? He'd argued with himself since their discussion at the Planet that he hadn't heard her clearly or that he'd misunderstood. There was still a part of him that didn't believe it now. There was no way Lois would ask him to choose between her and his own child. <> Sure, she *hadn't* asked, but it's still what she meant, he argued back. Clark fought to contain his emotions. If he wanted Lois to be his wife, there was no way he could be someone's father. "Clark, I love you and I *do* want to marry you. But..." She allowed the tears that had threatened earlier to escape unheeded down her cheeks as she leaned to place her coffee mug on the table. "I have so many things running around in my head. I found out you shared a somewhat special relationship with another woman. It's completely irrational, but it hurts. I mean, I know you love me..." She choked back a sob, causing Clark to lift his head to look at her. She forestalled anything he was preparing to say by continuing to talk. "Then I'm angry with her for keeping such a thing from you. How could she? You're the most wonderful person in the world. Even if there had been no possibility of you being the father, you and she were friends. She should have told you." Lois shot to her feet to pace, the emotional overload too much to allow her to remain seated any longer. "And a baby. No. A boy. You've missed all that time. My heart aches so badly for you, even while my mind is screaming out of total fear." "Fear of what?" Clark asked her softly. "Of being a mother! I never thought I'd be anyone's mother. Look at my role model. My life inside a dysfunctional, loveless family convinced me a long time ago never to bring a child into that kind of situation. Sure, I've thought about it since we've been together, but thinking and having it become reality is something else altogether. And when we get married, I *will* be this child's mother!" She finally run out of steam and just stared down at Clark. He sat up, placed his mug on the table beside hers, then reached out to grasp her hand, his eyes boring into hers. "Any woman who can be so passionate will make a terrific mother." "Oh, Clark," she gasped before dropping to the sofa. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pleased beyond belief when she snuggled closer to his side. Unable to think of anything else to say past the lump in his throat, Clark leaned back against the sofa, pulling Lois with him. Maybe what they needed now was this connection and a chance to absorb the day's many shocks. There would be plenty of time for talking later. And maybe, just maybe, they'd be all right. For now they would offer each other silent comfort as they waited for their future to be told. **** (4) Clark was roused from sleep by the knocking on the door. He and Lois had given in to the tension release and slept for the last hour in each other's arms. When he straightened, she awoke as well. He offered her a sad smile before rising to answer the door. "Good evening, Mr. Kent," Ms. Grange told him when he opened the door. "Good evening. Please, come in." He stood aside to allow her entry. He didn't miss the fact that she seemed to be inspecting her surroundings. Dana stepped down into the living room toward the chair. "Nice to see you, Ms. Lane." Lois nodded, but didn't speak. She rubbed her hand over her neck to loosen the tight muscles from her nap. Clark gestured the social worker to another seat, then jumped straight to the point. "Ms. Grange, I hate to be rude, but please just tell us," Clark told her as he settled back beside Lois on the sofa. He didn't miss the fact that Lois seemed to have pulled away from him emotionally. Their earlier connection was completely gone. Dana removed a file from her briefcase and held it out to Clark. "The child is, without a doubt, your son, Mr. Kent." Lois wanted to scream. This was exactly what she was expecting, but it hurt beyond belief. Clark couldn't say a word as he reached for the file and read over the contents. There was no doubt his DNA profile matched that of the child's. He wasn't remotely inclined in this area, but he could see the matching lines and scribbles. "I'm sorry this is such shocking news. It pains me to have to disrupt your lives, but I had no choice. You were named as the child's potential father. My office had to follow up." Dana had done this so many times over the years. But in her experience, it was a positive sign that Lois was seated next to Clark. It meant they'd discussed possibilities for the future. With any luck, this couple would provide a loving home for the child. She was also certain, that given time, happiness would replace all the surprise and pain. "Ah, yes. I know you did," Clark said as he finally found his voice. He glanced back over the file just to be sure there was nothing that could link him to Superman. There were comments about his apparently healthy system, but nothing more. He felt satisfied that only the most superficial tests needed to ascertain paternity had been conducted on the sample he'd provided. "Mr. Kent, I understand this is a lot to process. However, we need to move ahead with some kind of formal arrangements for the child," Ms. Grange told him. Clark sat in silence for a long moment before glancing at Lois. She was staring at a spot on the coffee table without making a sound. With Lois, one could never tell if that was dangerous or not. In this instance, Clark knew all too well. He'd hoped he'd been wrong in his assessment of her feelings toward this situation. Obviously that wasn't the case. By the way she refused to speak and from her withdrawal from him, Lois was definitely unable to accept these results. Not for the first time in his life, Clark knew what it felt like to feel sick to his stomach. This was comparable to how he'd felt watching Lois accept Lex Luthor's proposal of marriage so long ago. Dana finally decided to share information on the child to see if it would provoke Clark into making a decision one way or another. "His name is." "You know, Ms. Grange," Clark interrupted her. He'd surprised even himself when he'd spoken up. The words that followed were just as much of a shock. "I don't know this child. I wouldn't even know where to start to be his father. If your office is satisfied that those foster parents are good people, then I feel." He took a breath to muster up the courage do this painful thing. "I feel I should at least hear about them. Are they good people? Does he want to stay with them? Maybe I shouldn't disrupt his life further." His voice broke on the last word. He felt as if he'd stepped from his body and watched while another man said those words. Had he just told Ms. Grange that he wanted to give his son up for adoption? Shouldn't he at least meet this child, find out what *he* thinks? Maybe he should politely tell Ms. Grange that he and Lois should discuss things from here and get back in touch? There was so much to consider. Would this child possess any of his super genes? And if so, what would happen some day when those started to manifest themselves? He now knew exactly what Lois felt. Overwhelming confusion, fear, and uncertainty. Dana sighed in frustration. This same thing happened over and over. But she knew this man already had feelings for his son. She could clearly see the dilemma playing itself out in Clark's expressions. Why was he choosing not to even look at the file on him? "Very well. I do think you should look at this." She intentionally placed the folder on the table in front of Lois as she went back into her case to retrieve the file on the Sanders. If her guess was correct, Lois Lane had become an award winning reporter because of an insatiable curiosity. Maybe Lois would venture a look and convince Clark that adoption wasn't the best decision after all. Lois' mind pushed out the sound of Dana's voice, her eyes firmly glued to the manila file before her. She'd been so surprised when Clark spoke up that she couldn't find her voice. She knew the only reason he was entertaining the thought of adoption was because of her. Had her reaction led him to believe that this situation was too overwhelming? Did he really feel he had to choose between her and his son? That she would demand such a thing of him? Knowing Clark, he probably felt this was simply too much to ask of her. Why couldn't he just tell Ms. Grange that they needed time to discuss things? As Clark was shown various papers about the people that wished to adopt his son, Lois become entranced by the information held in the folder lying before her. Curiosity won out and she reached for the file. Intent on her task, she failed to see the slight smile that graced Dana's lips. Lois' hand covered her mouth as she got her first look at the gorgeous little boy in the photo attached to the top of the first page. His light brown hair and blue-gray eyes reminded her nothing of his father, but that smile was unmistakable. Brilliant white teeth glistened in the light just as Clark's did when he wore a full smile. Was she so hurt that she couldn't support Clark at a time when he needed her most? "The Sanders seem like good people," Clark remarked, even though he'd only half listened to Dana's introduction to the people he was seriously considering allowing to raise his son. His mind was already looking ahead to living without the boy. "They are exceptional individuals," Dana assured him. "And the little fellow likes them?" Clark asked again. She'd told him once that his son liked the Sanders and wanted to live with them. "Yes, Mr. Kent, but..." Dana's voice trailed away as she glanced at Lois. The reporter was fully engrossed in her perusal of the file she held. The social worker wished the other woman would bail her out here. She wasn't quite sure what she could say to convince Clark to at least look at the information on his son. "I've talked extensively with Mrs. Davies about this case. While the child was comfortable with the Sanders, he'd also asked many, many questions since he was told that we might have found his father." Clark looked up at Dana. "Ms. Grange, I'll be honest and tell you that's one of the reasons I'm considering allowing the Sanders to adopt him." "I don't understand, Mr. Kent." Her soft features furrowed in confusion. "This child has already been moved from place to place, and he was told he didn't have a father. We don't know each other. But he knows the Sanders; he's used to them." Clark glanced quickly at Lois, who wasn't saying a word, then lifted the papers before him again. "I just... I think maybe it would be best not to disrupt him anymore." Dana nodded slowly. "Very well." She retrieved more papers from her case, then handed them across to Clark. "All you have to do is sign these papers and the adoption process will be started," Dana told Clark, even as she kept a careful eye on Lois. He took the papers and read them over quickly before reaching for the pen Dana offered. <> He lowered the pen to the first page. A few strokes and this would be over. He and Lois could get back to their lives; try to put this behind them. <> <> He couldn't help but counter his own thoughts to defend his decision. This felt so wrong. <> He had to command his hand to stop shaking. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves before focusing on the papers again. <> With a final resolve, he took a deep breath and demanded his hand to stop shaking. He was about to start the stroke to put his name on the paper, when Lois covered his hand. "Clark, don't." He looked over at her with a questioning expression. Across from them Dana released a shaky breath. Maybe there was still hope things would work out. She placed the file in front of Clark. "Look at him, Clark. He has your smile." Clark's eyes filled with tears as he got his first look at the child he never knew existed. Lois turned the page to show him more. "His name is Robin Douglas. He was born November 16, 1988. He loves baseball and Superman." She had to laugh at that one. "Look how cute he is in his costume." She leaned into Clark's side. "Like father, like son," she whispered for his ears only. A small chuckle escaped Clark's lips as he lifted his finger to smooth over the image of his son. Robin had his arms crossed over his chest and looked like a pint sized Superman. "And chocolate. He loves chocolate," Lois finished on a sob before she fled the room. Clark put down the file and got up to follow. "Excuse us for a moment," he shot at Dana as he hurried after Lois, who leaned across the balcony wall, looking up at the stars. "Lois?" Had he completely misinterpreted what she'd meant during their discussion at the Planet? She'd never come right and told him that adoption would be best, but she hadn't denied it either. "I was under the impression that maybe you thought this might be the wisest decision for us." Unable to argue, she gulped before she whispered, "I did. until I saw him." And she really had... She'd been worried that having this child turn out to be Clark's son would affect their relationship beyond repair. For the briefest of moments she'd allowed her selfishness to lead Clark to believe he'd have to make a choice between her and Robin. Her pain had stopped her from correcting that mistake. Listening to Clark talk about adoption, then seeing him about to sign away a child he'd never met, all because he felt it was what *she* wanted, slammed home the reality of her actions since discovering this child existed. This child was part of Clark and no matter what decision he made, that would never change. And if she loved Clark, really loved him, there was no way she could allow him to make such a choice. She faced Clark. "I'm still hurt and confused and I have no idea where to go from here. I'm scared I'll let this come between us. What if I resent him, just like my dad resented the fact I wasn't a boy? I'm scared he'll end up hating me and hold a grudge against you. What if he doesn't like the city? What if he cries all the time? What if he throws temper tantrums and refuses to eat? I don't know what to do if he gets sick. How do I handle all his needs? I don't even know how to cook! For a second Clark wanted to remind her that she wasn't alone in this situation. They'd face tomorrow together and share the work, but he wisely allowed her to finish her rant, knowing she needed to let it out. "And what if." She stopped as more tears came. "What if I fall as completely in love with him as I did his father?" Clark's heart swelled with love for this woman. "Clark, I don't know what to do with a boy. But I do know I can't let you give him up for me. You love me enough to do it and I love you enough not to let you." His hand came up to cup her face gently. "You're everything to me, Lois. Without you, I'd be lost." "I know that now." She covered his hand on her face. "I can't believe how selfish I've been acting. I'm terrified of what tomorrow will bring. I don't know what kind of mother I'll be, but if you did this, I'd never forgive myself. We can't give him up," she whispered. "Thank you," he told her. He hadn't realized just how relieved he was until this moment. He leaned his head to rest against hers and closed his eyes to catch his breath. It felt so good not to have to say good-bye to Robin before he'd even said hello. Lois lifted his face and kissed him softly. "I love you, Clark, so much... all of you." "And I love you." He pulled her against him for a comforting hug they both needed at the moment as another thought occurred to him. "Lois," he said as he drew back to look at her. "You heard what Ms. Grange said. Robin really liked the Sanders. We can't be sure he'll like it here with us at all. Everything will be just as new to him as it is to us." "I know," Lois admitted reluctantly. "What if he comes here and doesn't like it and still wants to live with the Sanders?" She had to force the lump down her throat. Clark sighed heavily. He couldn't find the words to say what he was thinking. How would he ever give the child up once he'd met the little guy? Lois pulled him back down for another hug. "Why don't we cross that bridge when and *if* it comes?" "Okay," he whispered against her shoulder, squeezing just a little tighter. Having the assurance that Lois would be by his side no matter what soothed his fears... for now. Lois was first to withdraw. "I guess we should get back." "Yeah." Clark smiled when she took his hand to lead him back inside. "Ms. Grange." She held up her hand with a smile. "No need, Mr. Kent. Your reaction is typical of the fathers I see daily. I'll contact Mrs. Davies immediately. Robin will be put on a plane tonight and should arrive by early morning." "A plane? Alone?" Lois spoke up, her protective nature quickly replacing her hurt and fears. "Can't we go out to get him?" "I'm sorry, Ms. Lane. We have to follow procedure. Once he's here, he and Mr. Kent will be introduced and observed for a period of time before we relinquish custody. And as you will be heavily involved in his life, Robin should meet with you as well." "Good," Clark said. "I intend for Lois to be a huge part of his life." Dana smiled brightly. Yes, her first assessment had been dead on. Robin was a lucky little fellow. "The meeting will last about three hours. If all goes well, and Mr. Kent still wants to assume custody, you will be allowed to bring him home." Lois and Clark exchanged a glance before turning back to Dana. She rose with a notepad in hand. "I have to look around your apartment." "It's not very big," Clark told her regretfully. "It's fine, Mr. Kent. Besides, I think Robin needs you much more than an apartment." She offered him a smile before inspecting the rest of the place. Satisfied that the child would have adequate provisions, she returned her notepad to her briefcase. "Mr. Kent, I know this is an incredibly strenuous situation to deal with, but I have faith you and Ms. Lane will be able to adjust quickly." "It's not so much us I'm worried about," Clark voiced his fears aloud. "I've been involved with hundreds of cases like this, Mr. Kent," Dana told him. "An overwhelming majority work out even better than anticipated. I know you're worried how this child will react, but don't. As I've said, Mrs. Davies told me that Robin has stated more than once that he's always wished that someday his real father would come for him. Yes, he liked it at the Sanders, but that was before, when he thought no one else in the world wanted him. More than anything that's what kids really want; someone to love them and want them. You'll see. Things will work out just fine." She smiled at Clark, then lifted her briefcase and looked at the couple one final time. "I'll call you as soon as we know something." "I'll be looking forward to your call." Clark showed Dana to the door before going back to join Lois on the sofa. "Lois, are you sure about this?" "Did you really feel I'd put you in a position to choose between us?" He met her gaze with absolute conviction. "Lois, you are so important to me. I'm not sure I know how to breathe without you." "And you'd have given up a son you've never met..." Her words drifted off as the implication hit her fully. Again, she felt horrible for putting Clark in a position where he felt as if he had to choose. "I'm so sorry, Clark," she whispered through tears. "I never meant for you to feel that way. I was just so hurt and confused. Then I let my fears take over, and I never tried to explain..." She choked on a sob, unable to continue. "Lois..." His hand lifted to her face, overcome with emotion. "Loving someone means loving *all* of them," she told him when she'd regained control. "I forgot that for a while." She reached out to push his hair off his forehead. "I love you," she told him again, wanting to be certain he understood that. "I love you," he said with a smile. Lois smiled through more tears before she rose to her feet. "Where are you going?" "Shopping. We need to turn your loft into a bedroom and you need to fly out to get your parents. They'd kill you if you didn't." "Let's just hope they don't kill me anyway." "Clark, they'll be thrilled to find out they have a grandson." "Yeah." He stared at a spot on the table. She reached out to lift his chin so she could see his eyes. "We'll make it. You'll see." His hands lifted to grasp her thighs. "Lois, you have no idea what your support means to me." She ran a hand through his hair. "I have a pretty good idea." They shared a tender kiss, which escalated into an all out assault on the other's senses before they stopped. The past twelve hours had been so emotionally charged that this basic instinct to reconnect had taken over. It was as if each needed some kind of reassurance that things really would be all right. Lois was gasping for air as she looked down into Clark's eyes. "As much as I'd love to stay here and do this, we really need to get going. Barker's closes at ten o'clock." Clark smiled up at her. "Yes, ma'am." He let Lois pull him to his feet. "But can we do more of that when we get back?" Lois just laughed as she handed him his jacket and they left the apartment. **** Lois traded favors with the manager at Barker's department store to have a twin bed and dresser delivered to Clark's apartment right away. A baseball themed d,cor was added in the form of a matching bed set, a table that looked like a ball sitting on bats for legs, several pictures, and a shelf to hang on the wall. Lois had to go one step further and buy a new mitt, ball, and bat. She insisted Clark couldn't meet his son for the first time without a gift. Clark opted to be more practical. He'd scanned over the file before they left the apartment and judging from Robin's height and weight, he'd picked out a few essentials such as underwear and socks. A couple of jogging suits were purchased as well so the child would have enough until they could buy him new clothes. He and Lois both were pretty sure Robin wouldn't have a large amount of things, being as he'd travel cross country on plane. They were also unsure of how much the child would possess since he'd been bounced around the foster care system for so long. Around midnight, and with a little super help, the couple had finally finished their chores of transforming the small loft into a suitable bedroom. Neither had mentioned the possibility that Robin might decide he didn't like it here at all. They were convinced that if they showed the child he was indeed wanted, he'd never consider leaving. And having a bedroom ready and waiting would go a long way to proving their case. Besides, Robin needed these things. Satisfied to have a starting point, the couple finally left the room to turn in for the night. Lois yawned as they descended the stairs of the spiral case. Clark's hands came up to rub her shoulders. "I'm sorry, honey. I kept you up way too late." She stopped once they were off the steps and turned to grin at Clark. "What did you say?" "I said I kept you up late." Clark's hands fell back to his side. "Before that?" "I'm sorry?" He wasn't sure what she was after. "The other word?" Her grin had spread across her face. Clark furrowed his brows, but realized what she meant. "Honey?" he asked uncertainly. "Honey. I never thought of myself as a honey." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Do you like it?" "Oh, I do," she said as she stared up at him. "Got any more names to call me?" "Mmm..." Clark contemplated that thought as he lightly rubbed her back and shoulders. "Sweetheart. darling. my little tornado." Lois giggled up at him. "This is sick." "Yeah," was his answer before he pulled her into a hug. "So, Ms. Lane, are you going to let Superman fly you home since it's so late?" "Actually, I was thinking Superman would let me stay with him tonight." She drew out of their embrace and looked up at him anxiously. His brows rose with her suggestion. "You want to stay here? With me?" "Well, who else am I going to stay with? Robin's not here yet." Clark shrugged a little, but kept his hold around her waist. "I just thought. we were going to. let that happen?" "We are. And as much as I want it to happen, it won't be tonight. Today has been so emotionally charged that I think we need to reconnect. I just want to stay here with you; sleep in your arms." She hugged him tighter and laid her head on his chest. "I think we both need the reassurance of each other's closeness." Clark smoothed her hair back so he could place a kiss on her forehead. "I'd like that." "Good," she replied with a smile when she pulled back. "Give me your shirt." Her hand was waiting patiently for the item. "What?" "I want to sleep in your shirt. I don't have anything else," she added for reasoning. Clark had to stifle a groan at the image she'd created. How was he ever going to survive the night just holding her? He shrugged from his shirt and chuckled when she ran into the bathroom. Five minutes later, she crawled into bed next to him, snuggling up to his side. "This is nice," she said after a while. Clark's fingers stroked her shoulder and the arm that was wrapped across his stomach. "It is." "Although. if we're going to do this often, you may want to consider adding a wall and door to the loft." "What do you think he's like?" Clark had been lost in thoughts of his son for quite a while. "I don't know. What kind of person was his mother?" "Kim was. a little wild. She liked to party and hang out with friends. Brilliant woman though. Scored out the roof on her SAT's. She was labeled a genius by several institutions in the country. I never could understand why she didn't use it." Lois lifted her head to look at Clark in the pale light from the window. "She didn't do well in school?" "Oh yeah. She could sleep through class and still ace a test. But, Lois, this girl was really gifted. She seemed to know everything about everything. Even though I comprehend at a much quicker rate than most people, this girl made me look slow. If I'd been like that, I would have started my own business or invented something. Kim just shrugged it off and went to the next party." "So, how did you get hooked up with her?" Lois moved her hands up to Clark's chest and settled her chin on top so she could look at him while they talked. His fingers began idly playing with her hair. "I met her in one of my study groups. She tutored everyone. She was a free spirit; open, outgoing, passionate; everything I wasn't. To a boy fresh off the farm, that was an exciting thing. She told me she liked my Kansas charm." Clark grinned at Lois. "Yeah, well, that definitely goes a long way for you." "I guess I was attracted and she didn't mind. We went out as friends for a while before we ever thought of being anything more. Things just kind of happened from there." "What about your powers? Weren't you ever worried about her finding out about them? I mean, she didn't know, did she?" "No. She didn't know. By that time, I'd learned to control most of my powers. So, I was pretty good at hiding them. And for a boy who'd spent a lot of time alone, her attention seemed a little more important than anything I could do. It was nice to spend time with her." Lois smiled with him. "I suppose she had to be a pretty decent person for you to spend time with her." "She was. Kim was great and I fell pretty hard. I realized later that all it had ever been was a caring friendship, not love at all. But at the time... well..." He trailed off as he remembered his time with Kim. "How did you take it when she was attacked?" "I was devastated. You know me. I thought I should have been able to help her. I blamed myself for a long time before I realized what I was doing was only hurting her more. We didn't stay together long after that. She couldn't seem to get herself together, so she went back home to her dad's. That broke my heart, but I thought her well-being was more important at the time. We wrote to each other a few times, but lost contact after a year or so." "And you never had an inclination that she was keeping such a secret from you?" "None. She and I had discussed the possibility of a pregnancy resulting from the attack early on. She'd taken her pills religiously since she was in high school, so we both figured she would be protected." "Maybe not from super sperm." Lois grinned and stretched up to kiss his chin. Clark stilled and pushed her back. "Lois, what if that's it? What if my sperm is super? How can we make sure you don't become pregnant the first we make love? Or every time?!" Lois reached up to smooth his hair behind his ear. "Clark, I'm sure you're not overly potent. There could be all sorts of things that resulted in the pregnancy for Kim. Her system could have been off, she could have been taking another medication that offset the birth control's effectiveness, or she simply could have been one of those unfortunate women whose system is stimulated by hormones. Besides that, you said you'd had another sexual relationship that *didn't* result in pregnancy. So, you can't be all that super. And even you were the one that pointed out no form of protection is one hundred percent effective." "I sure hope so. I'd hate to have to spend our whole lives worrying about having too many children." She kissed his chest lightly. "Well, I think we have a few more things to think about right now." Clark cupped her cheek in his large hand. "I love you, Lois." "And I love you." She kissed him softly before settling back down against him. He pulled her just a tad closer as they drifted to sleep. Neither knew where tomorrow would take them, but they knew they'd face it together. **** Robin made his way slowly out of the terminal from the plane he'd just gotten off. It was his first time on a jet and he'd really enjoyed it, though he wished it could have been daytime so he could have seen more. But the lights over Metropolis were pretty, so he'd been entranced. He walked silently beside his escort from the Oregon Children's Home. They stopped before a young woman that was waiting for them when they entered the expanse of the airport. She smiled down at him and held out her hand. "Hello, Robin. I'm Dana Grange." "Hi." He shook her hand as his eyes drifted around him. This place sure was big. "Are you ready?" He nodded and lifted the pack over his shoulder to make the journey easier. He waved quickly at the man who'd flown with him and waited for Ms. Grange to finish speaking before he was led toward the exit. This time they'd told him they'd found his dad. He was excited and incredibly scared. He didn't know this man. What's his name? What's he like? And was he anything like the man in his dreams? Dana looked down at the boy with a smile. "Don't worry, Robin. I'll let you know what we know about your father. Mrs. Davies said this was something that you've always wanted." "Yeah," he agreed as he kept pace with the woman. He hoped this social worker would be as nice as Mrs. Davies. *She* was the only constant he'd known since his mother's death. But his thoughts drifted quickly back to his father. His mom had always avoided answering his questions about a 'daddy', stating they were all the family the other needed. That hadn't been true though. His mom had died and left him with his grandfather. Then Grandpa had passed away and he was alone. He'd been so scared when the county workers had taken him into that first group home. He'd cried a lot back then, wishing his mom were still alive to take him back home. She hadn't come though and he'd had to live with so many different people. After a while, he'd decided that he was all the family he'd ever have and it was time to take care of himself. So he'd stopped all that crying and went with the flow. He'd made some really good friends, only to have to say good-bye each time that he'd been moved. Then he'd moved to the Sanders. He'd really liked it there and wanted them to keep him for always. Only there was this man, this one last man that might be his father. He'd been told that before. Only this time it was true. He really did have a father, just like Billy Patterson had told him once. Billy had been a kid he met in a group home. He was older and had been around. Billy told him that even if he didn't know him, somewhere there was a man that was his father. Or at least there had been 'cause kids have to have one. Now he was about to meet that father, the one he hadn't known. He was so scared. What if this man didn't like him? What if he didn't like this man? He'd decided on the plane trip to be on his best behavior so his father wouldn't want to send him back to another home. He'd also decided to give the guy a chance. Maybe his father was just as scared as he was like Mrs. Davies had suggested. He was told this man hadn't known about him at all, but was very eager to meet him. Well, he was eager too. Scared, but eager. Why didn't Mom ever tell me about him? Robin thought as he obediently followed Ms. Grange through the exit and toward a parked car. Dana rubbed his shoulder as they approached her sedan. By day's end, this child would have a reason to smile again. Since it was still very early when Robin arrived in Metropolis, Dana took the boy home with her. With only a few hours of sleep, they left for the DFCS office around mid- morning. There was a lot of paperwork to be done before Robin could meet his dad. He waited patiently in one of the large chairs in Ms. Grange's office, content to watch the hum of action in the outer office. He'd learned a long time ago that it was better if you just behaved and kept quiet. Besides, you could learn a lot when adults thought you weren't listening. Dana smiled over at him as she dialed the Daily Planet. After finally meeting Robin face-to-face, Dana was sure Lois and Clark would be thrilled with the decision they'd made. Robin's head whipped around when he heard Ms. Grange say his father's name. He watched intently until she replaced the receiver. "You're all set to meet your father," Dana told the anxious little boy before her. "'Kay," Robin said, then turned his head back toward the doorway. "How would you like to see some pictures of him?" She had to do something to relieve some of this child's apprehension. It was easy to see the small boy was frightened by the whole situation, but she could also see the twinkle in his eyes every time Clark Kent's name was mentioned. Robin turned back to the woman and nodded quickly. That's exactly what he wanted. Maybe he would feel better if he knew what his father looked like. He made his way over to the desk slowly when Dana pulled out a file and opened it. With a deep breath, he stepped over to Ms. Grange's side and prepared himself for his first look at the image of his father. **** (5) "Lois?" Clark waited patiently behind her while she finished typing a sentence. "Yeah?" She turned to meet his gaze. "He's here." "Really?" She rose to her feet from her chair. "When can we meet him?" Her earlier reservations had been replaced with excitement due in large part to her curious nature. "Four. They're meeting us at Centennial Park at the West entrance playground." Lois glanced at her watch. "That's three hours! How are we supposed to wait that long?" "I know. But, honey, I think maybe we need to talk to Perry." "Yeah," she agreed reluctantly. She knew telling people about Robin was inevitable, but she felt like being selfish again. She wanted to be sure of her feelings, more confident with her new role. Besides, she felt she and Clark needed time to become acquainted with the boy first. "Lois?" Clark was concerned by her response. "What's wrong?" "It's just." She looked away from him a second. "I just want today to be for us. and your folks. We can tell everyone tomorrow." "Are you sure that's all? You haven't changed your mind?" "I haven't changed my mind. I'm so excited to meet him. I just want a little more time to adjust to this and get to know him." "You're sure?" "I'm sure." She smiled to reassure him before kissing him quickly. "Now what do you say we talk to Perry and play hooky the rest of the day? There's no way I could concentrate on anything until we've met him." Clark grinned down at her. "How about that? Lois Lane wants to play hooky." "Yeah, well, write it down. It may be a while before it happens again." She smiled as she passed him on her way to Perry's office. Ten minutes later, they boarded the elevator to spend the afternoon together waiting on four o'clock to arrive. **** Lois and Clark decided to spend the afternoon walking, window- shopping, and talking. And it wasn't long before Lois discovered she wasn't totally averse to playing hooky. "This is fun," Lois told Clark as she stopped in front of a store to admire a dress in the window. "Oh, Clark. This dress is amazing." Clark admired the white satin and lace with a huge grin on his face. He'd love to see Lois in that. "Would you like to try it on?" She looked over at Clark as if he'd lost his mind. "Are you crazy? This dress probably costs a month's salary." "So," he said with a shrug. "I would hope you're only going to be married once." At least he hoped she was still going to be married. When she didn't immediately disagree, he continued. "I think you should have what you want." "What I want is for us to be able to afford to buy groceries. We can't spend the next twenty years paying for my wedding dress." Clark shifted to come closer to her, having registered what she'd said. "Does this mean we're still getting married?" "What?" She fully faced Clark with a confused expression. "Clark, why wouldn't we get married?" "Well, yesterday we got some pretty shocking news, and you were pretty angry. I just thought." "Yesterday I was hurt and confused." "Lois, you were angry." "Okay. I was angry, but did I ever say I wanted to call off the wedding?" And even as she said that, her conscience reminded her of the doubt she'd had where their relationship was concerned. "No," he drawled. "But I asked you about it last night and you couldn't answer." "Do *you* want to call it off?" she countered to keep from answering him. "Lois, no!" He took a step closer to her, reaching to hold her upper arm. "I have wanted nothing more in my life for the past. two years. But I'm not so na> His small body started to tremble in anticipation; his hand clutched Dana's hand just a little tighter. "It's okay," Dana told him softly. "He *wants* you." Robin didn't indicate he'd even heard her; his eyes were still glued to his father. He was about to meet his father for the very first time! This was more frightening than going to that first group home. <> Robin's eyes searched Clark's features for any indication that this man would be mean or demanding. He'd met a man like that once and didn't want to repeat the experience. But Clark was even nicer looking in person than he was in his pictures. Robin had been almost relieved to see a picture of Clark smiling broadly. Anyone who smiled like couldn't be all that bad. Could they? "Look at him, Clark. He's so adorable," Lois whispered as she blinked back tears that she hadn't realized had formed. How was it she'd gone from completely hurt and uncertain about this child to this? "Yeah." Clark was more nervous than he'd ever been in his entire life. Even proposing to Lois had been a piece of cake compared to this. What do you say to a child you never knew you had? Large, tear filled eyes looked up at Ms. Grange. "She's crying," Robin said, unable to stop the salty water from stinging his lids when he saw Lois wipe her cheek. He'd always been particularly sensitive to others emotions and this was no different. If this woman was crying, it couldn't be good. "I think she is happy to meet you." "Really?" Robin looked back at Lois. Could this woman, who didn't even know him, be happy to meet him? Happy enough to cry about it? The only person he'd seen cry out of happiness was his mom. He kept his eyes glued firmly to Lois as they drew closer. "Good afternoon," Dana spoke up as they stopped before the couple. She didn't receive a response as both the people before her were occupied with something else. She stopped a few feet away from the couple. Robin's eyes were glued to Lois'. He was still in shock this woman was having this reaction because of him. "Hi, little guy," Lois beamed down at him as she bent to get a better look. "Hi." He could only stare. She was a very pretty lady and she had a great smile. It helped to ease him a bit. "I'm Lois, your father's partner at work and his fianc,." "I know. Ms. Grange told me and I saw pictures." "You did?" He nodded as Lois kneeled in front of him. "Yes, ma'am," he decided to add. It wouldn't hurt to show her that he was polite. Billy had told him a long time ago all the things to say and do to make adults like you. Of course, his mom had always taught him to be considerate. 'Good manners go a long way', she'd said. She'd been right too. Robin had discovered that he was always treated well when he behaved and minded his manners, which had helped since his mom died. He'd heard enough horror stories of kids who weren't treated very well because of their behavior, so he'd adopted a quiet, reserved demeanor that had served him well. Lois couldn't keep the smile from spreading across her face. Robin was even more handsome than the photos they'd seen. She couldn't believe she could have ever thought about not meeting this little person and getting to know him. She absolutely beamed at the comment. Robin certainly seemed to be very polite. Robin's mouth twitched when Lois smiled at him. He glanced up at Clark, who was looking on in wonder. When his eyes fell back to Lois', he gave in to the smile that was dying to get out. "Oh, wow!" Lois couldn't resist; she had to touch him. Her hand went out to his arm, lightly rubbing, as yet more tears filled her eyes. The boy couldn't believe how good it felt for someone to want to meet him so badly. Even when he had been placed with the Sanders, they hadn't expressed this kind of emotion. It was more than a month before he could get Kitty to touch him. For a child who had always thrived on physical attention, by the time Robin made it to the Sanders, he was starved for affection. His mother had showered him constantly with hugs and kisses and to suddenly have that taken away was difficult for his five year old mind to comprehend. He glanced at the hand that had just left his arm before his eyes drifted back to Lois'. He couldn't help but wonder if she liked giving and receiving hugs. He and Lois shared another smile before he looked up at Clark. Clark, who had been watching the scene unfold before him, couldn't have been more thrilled. His heart felt as if it would burst with emotion. The woman he loved more than life itself was actually beaming happily at his son; the son he hadn't known existed. He kneeled down beside Lois so he could look into Robin's eyes. "Hi, pal. It's really good to meet you." "Really?" Could his father really mean that? "Absolutely." Clark smiled to assure Robin he meant what he said. He was rewarded with a small smile. "I never knew. about you. They showed me pictures just last night. I would have been there, had I known it." This was something Clark wanted to make perfectly clear from the beginning. He never wanted this child to think he was unwanted by his father. Though he did feel pretty guilty about having almost given him up for adoption. "Mom never told me about you either. Only that she didn't really know who my father was," Robin told him sadly. Why hadn't she told him? Clark Kent really seemed like a nice man. Clark nodded, relieved to know he hadn't been made out to be some kind of dead beat dad. He had wanted to believe Kim wouldn't have done such a thing, but the fact she'd never told him she'd had a son at all had him wondering. "Hey," Clark spoke up. "Did you enjoy the flight out?" "Yeah!" The boy brightened for a moment, then frowned. "It was dark and I didn't see much though." "I'll bet we could arrange for a flight soon, in the daytime," Lois told him, unsure where to begin. She had no idea what to say or do, still terrified that Robin would hate her. Or worse, hate her and Clark. "That would be cool," he said with a smile. "Would you come, too?" He felt he liked this woman already. He would certainly want her on a flight with him. "Of course, I'll come," Lois told him readily. Robin smiled even brighter at that. Lois and Clark exchanged a glance and a soft laugh which made all the butterflies in his stomach leave him in a rush. He liked the sound of their laughter. It told him a lot about what kind of people they were. And they sounded nice-- very nice! Clark looked back at him. "Would you like to swing?" "Or you could open your gifts?" Lois spoke up quickly. "You bought me gifts?" His little eyes widened as he spotted the gift-wrapped boxes on the park bench behind the adults. "We did," Clark told him as he rose. "Come on." Robin followed behind Clark, Lois on his heels. Dana drifted some distance away from the small family to allow them to get to know each other. She didn't want to be in the way. Clark lifted two boxes wrapped in baseball themed paper and held them out to Robin. "Wow!" He couldn't contain his excitement. It had been a long time since he'd gotten a gift that would be his. With that thought, his smile faded and he looked up at Clark. "Will they be mine to keep? For always?" "What?" Clark frowned and eased back to sit on the bench so he could look into Robin's eyes. "Before, when I've gotten gifts from other families, I could only keep them as long as I was at that home." Clark set the gifts on Lois' lap, as she'd settled next to him on the bench. Her smile had faded and her expression had taken on a serious tone. "Robin, we got these things for *you*. That means you can keep them. No one is going to take them back." "And we'd really like for you to stay with us," Lois assured him. The boy looked between the two adults for a moment before he spoke again. "Ms. Grange told me you were getting married. I just thought. I thought." He looked between the adults before he dropped his eyes to the ground. "You thought what?" Clark reached out to lift his chin gently. "Well, I figured that. once you were married." He refused to look at Clark. Lois immediately understood the child. She shoved the gifts to the empty space on the bench before reaching out to take both of Robin's hands. "Robin, look at me." She waited until his big, scared eyes met hers. "Clark is your father. And I hope that you'll call me your friend. Yes, I'm going to marry your father, very soon. But no, you don't have to leave. Your father wants you to live with him until we're married, then we both want you to live with us." "R. really?" He'd started to cry and his lip trembled. "Yes. Really," Lois had to finish on a whisper because she was starting to choke up as well. Robin looked down at her hands, squeezing just a little tighter, before he looked back up at Lois with a smile. "I think I like you." "Oh, sweetie." Lois could only smile in return. She didn't think she could speak past the lump in her throat. Clark blinked several times to stop the sting of tears behind his lids. He couldn't believe Robin would have thought that once he was married there would be no place for him here. "May I open those gifts now. Lois?" "Of course you can." She gave his hands a final squeeze before she lifted the packages and scooted over to make room for him to sit down. He eyed the empty spot for a moment, then climbed between Lois and Clark. "Open this one first," she told him, placing the long narrow box in his lap. He quickly tore off the wrapping; Lois and Clark watching with huge smiles. "Oh wow!" His small hands smoothed over the cool metal in the box. It was a brand new Louie Ville SluggerT-- the finest bat made. "Wow!" His eyes danced between Lois and Clark. "Thanks! This is great!" Really great. His father really was nice... and so was Lois! "You're not done yet," Clark reminded him with a pointed finger at the other box. Robin made short work of the wrapping on the other box. "No way!" He lifted the leather glove from its tissue cradle. "And a ball! This is too much!" "Like `em?" He looked up at Lois as if she had two heads. "Like `em? I love `em! My old stuff was for little kids and it got left at the storage place. I had a glove at Kitty and Jeff's, but Mrs. Davies said I had to leave it. That was the rules." "Well, pal, these are yours." Clark rubbed the new leather of the glove, delighting in his son's enthusiasm. He looked up to exchange a quick smile with Lois. Robin smoothed his hand over the leather several times before he turned to Clark. "Do you like baseball?" "Sure. I also like basketball and football." "He played football in college," Lois boasted. Robin's head shot around to Lois. "Really?" He smiled back at Clark brightly. "Did you make a touchdown?" "A few." "Don't listen to him, Robin. One thing you have to know right away about your father is that he doesn't brag very much. He scored *a lot* of touchdowns. He won the `Most Valuable Player of the Year' the last year he played. He even has the trophy at home to prove it." "No way!" The small boy was completely entranced by his larger than life father. "Can I see it?" "You'll see everything. My home's going to be your home." "I only had one home before." He dropped his eyes to the gifts in his lap. "Mom used to give me gifts. She gave me lots of stuff." "Your mom was a very special person," Clark told him softly. "Yeah. I miss her." "And that's okay. You can miss her all you want." Clark wanted so badly to reach out to him, but felt it would be best to let him come on his own. He had no idea how the boy had been treated over the last two years and he certainly didn't want to traumatize him. The small boy looked up at Lois. "Is that okay with you?" "What? To miss your mom?" She wore a frown as she tried to comprehend what the child meant. He nodded at her. At the group home once there was a girl who met her dad for the first time only to be hated by her step mom. The little girl came back to the group after only a month. She was eventually adopted, but had cried for days because her step mom hadn't liked her. Robin felt he already liked Lois and desperately wanted her to like him. There was no way he wanted to *ever* go back to a group home again. So maybe if he didn't upset her... "I don't want to hurt your feelings." "Robin, you could never hurt my feelings by missing your mother." He let the smile tugging the corners of his mouth spread out. This woman was too good to be true. She'd just told him it was all right to miss his mom. And he did, an awful lot. "I'm glad, 'cause I don't think I'll ever stop missing her." Lois smiled brightly, too. "You don't have to." What she wouldn't give to reach out and tuck that stubborn strand of hair behind his ear. <> "Hey, pal," Clark spoke up, wanting to keep the mood light. He knew they'd eventually have to talk about sensitive areas with Robin, but not now. Now he just wanted to get to know the guy a little better. "How about I pitch you a few balls?" "Yeah!" He jumped up and waited patiently for Clark to take off his jacket. He hadn't played ball in a long time. Robin glanced at Lois. "Will you come, too?" "Sure." She stood and put her jacket down with Clark's so they could make their way to the small open space in front of the bench. "But I have to warn you that I don't know a thing about baseball." "That's okay. I'll teach you. Here, you can wear my glove." He offered up his newest possession with enthusiasm. He couldn't believe Lois was going to play with them. Kitty had *never* played ball with them. His mom had. She'd had a mean curve ball-- or at least that's what Grandpa had said. As he lifted the bat to his shoulder, he wondered if his father and Lois really meant all they'd told him. So far he really liked them both. Maybe this time would be the last time he'd have to move. **** (6) Clark couldn't help but smile. He'd thrown the ball dozens of times to Robin, who'd hit quite a few. He'd had to run after the ball before it went into the woods. The boy's happy laughter filled Clark's senses, making him aware of how glad he was to have chosen to meet this little person. Robin felt so glad to be able to laugh for a bit. His seven year old shoulders carried around a lot of baggage. He spent most of his time feeling sad, missing his mom and granddad, which was a change from how he felt when he'd first been placed in the group home. Back then he'd just been incredibly scared, unsure of what the next day would bring. When he'd started moving from foster home to foster home, he'd been confused. He thought that each time he moved it was because of something he'd done. After a couple of moves, he'd decided to be on his very best behavior so that he wouldn't have to leave next time. Although, there had been a couple of places he wanted to leave the same day he got there. But somehow he'd managed to get by. His easy going nature served him well. When he met Kitty and Jeff, he was sure he'd found his home. Yet, there had always been something missing. He never felt like he was truly part of the family. They'd wanted to adopt him and he'd wanted to stay, but when Mrs. Davies had told him that they'd found his real father, he'd been too excited for words. Sure, he still missed the Sanders and would like to see them again someday. Yet, he also hoped his dad remained as nice as he seemed because Robin felt himself becoming fast friends with both Clark and Lois. And a kid needed friends. And Lois. Lois had kicked off her heels and played ball with them in her skirt and stockings! She hadn't even complained the first time about ruining the net items on her feet. Clark couldn't be more thrilled. She played catcher for father and son, yelling loudly each time Robin hit the ball. This only seemed to further the boy's pleasure. His bright smile reached his eyes, making them twinkle in the afternoon sun. Clark hadn't missed the obvious admiration Robin felt for Lois either. It was clear that Robin was clearly his father's son, having lost his heart to Lois Lane. This only made Clark happier, if possible, about their choice. After the game of ball, Robin challenged Lois to a race on the swings. He wasn't disappointed in the least. Her competitive spirit shone through, but instead of deterring Robin, it seemed to stoke his nature as well. They threw insults about each other's ability to move their swing back and forth, while Clark served as motor to keep them in motion. When the race was finally finished, Clark bought everyone something to drink and they settled at a picnic table to talk for a while. **** "Thanks for the CokeT," Robin told Clark after he'd taken a healthy swallow. "You're welcome." Clark smiled across the table to where Robin had chosen to sit so he could see both himself and Lois. "Are you always so polite?" Lois ventured. She'd been trying to decide how to get Robin talking about the past couple of years and his feelings. She didn't want to come right out and ask him how he'd come through with such an obvious good nature, so maybe asking a few indirect questions would start the conversation. The boy shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I like to be polite." He took another sip from his soda can before saying more. "It helps to be polite in some of the places I've been." "Was it... bad?" Lois wasn't sure how to proceed, but desperately wanted to know how Robin had been treated. "Not too bad. I was scared at first. I didn't understand why my mom left me." He looked down at the can he held between his hands. "Then Grandpa left me too." "You do understand that it wasn't their choice?" Clark asked him. "Yeah." He sighed, then looked up at Clark. "I just miss still miss 'em a lot." Clark smiled sadly at him. What else could he do? He'd never pretend to know what Robin felt because his parents were still alive. Lois, on the other hand, almost felt at times that her parents were dead. They'd never been there for her when she'd really needed them. Maybe that's why she suddenly felt such a strong connection to Robin. "Did you move a lot?" she asked, trying to steer the conversation back to safer ground. "I think seven times." He seemed to think about that for a moment before he looked back at Lois. "Yep. Seven. I went to a group home first. Then three different homes, back to the group home, then Kitty and Jeff's, then the group home again." "Well, now you're here and I hope you'll always be," Lois said with a smile. "Robin, Ms. Grange said that the Sanders wanted to adopt you," Clark began. "Yeah. They asked if I'd like that and I said yeah, but that was before I knew about you. I didn't find out until I was sent back to the group home. Mrs. Davies came to see me and said they thought they'd found my dad in Metropolis." "And how did you feel?" Clark wasn't as careful as Lois. He needed to know if Robin truly wanted to be with them. He'd never forgive himself if Robin would rather be where he felt more comfortable. "I was excited. I'd always wished my dad would show up one day and take me home for good." Robin hang his head while he spoke, afraid to look Clark in the eyes. What if this man didn't want to hear these things? What if this man wasn't as happy to learn about him as he'd been to learn about his dad? Clark had told him that he'd never known about a son. What if Clark just didn't like him enough to keep him? "I can't lie and say I wasn't shocked when I found out about you," Clark said softly. Robin seemed to be a very intelligent child. The least he could do was be honest with him. He watched as the boy slowly lifted his eyes to meet his. The fear and apprehension was clearly written in his expression. "I never knew that you could be out there somewhere. But, Robin, if I had known, you would never have had to live in those homes. You would have had a home with me." "And we really hope that's what you want," Lois added. "I know we don't each other very well, but already we like you. We want you to stay." Robin considered all they'd said for a long moment before taking another sip from his soda can. Finally he looked up at Clark. "Would it be okay to call Kitty and Jeff? Maybe write them." "It would be more than okay," Clark assured him. "Maybe soon we can even visit them," Lois said. The boy nodded carefully as he studied the people before him. "I think I'd like to stay," he told them finally. "Good." Lois absolutely beamed. For a brief moment she'd been afraid Robin would tell them he'd like to move back with the Sanders. "I sure am glad you want to stay," Clark told him with a grin. "Thank you." Robin couldn't help but add. It wouldn't hurt to mind his manners. There was no way he wanted to give either his dad or Lois reason to change their minds about him staying. "There's those manners again," Lois spoke up. "I've never met a child so polite." "Mom always told me that I should be polite." "So did my mom," Clark told him softly, then winked. Robin's nose wrinkled as he smiled at Clark. He sure was glad his father was so nice! "Well, your father is about the most polite person I've ever met," Lois commented. "Drives me crazy sometimes." She rolled her eyes for emphasis. Robin smiled at her. "Does he do things like hold the door open for you? My grandpa said he used to do that for my grandma." "He does," she told him. "And he brings me coffee every morning and lately he's added breakfast." "She won't eat breakfast if I don't bring it to her," Clark defended himself. "How long have you two known each other?" "About two years." Lois smiled briefly at Clark. "But she wasn't crazy about me at first." Clark just had to point that out. "Clark!" "Well, you weren't." He looked back at Robin. "She thought I was a hack from nowheresville." "Where ya' from?" "Kansas." "Really? Did you grow up on a farm?" "As a matter of fact, I did. And," Clark reached into his back pocket to take out his wallet. "My folks still live there." Robin sat up straighter then. "Your folks? I. I have grandparents?" "Yep. See." Clark extended his wallet to Robin so he could see the picture of the Kents. The boy climbed onto the bench on his knees to get a better look. "Oh wow! They look so. so. wow!" "They are," Lois spoke up. "They're the sweetest people in the world." "And they're here in Metropolis to meet you." Clark's eyes softened as his son looked up at him. "Really? They want to meet me?" "Sure. Mom cried when I told her about you this morning. I had a friend of mine fly them out." "A friend that flies?" Robin's brows furrowed a moment before realization hit. "He's a pilot?" "Not exactly. He flies by himself, without an airplane," Lois threw in before Clark could answer. Robin was really confused then. A friend who flies... by himself. There was only one person he knew that could fly all by himself. His eyes widened and he looked at Clark in disbelief. "Superman is your friend? No way!" "Yep," Lois told him with a grin. "Get out! That is *so* cool!" His eyes shifted from Lois to Clark, then back down to the photo. "But I think they're even cooler," he said softly. He'd never been more excited and absolutely terrified in all his life. He didn't know these people, was still scared they'd find out they didn't really like him enough to keep him with them. Yet, he couldn't stop himself from being glad his father had been found. Then to find out he had grandparents, too! It was all too much. He wanted to know everything; do everything! Clark's eyes misted over as he thought about the life this little fellow had been forced to live the last couple of years. He knew none of that had been his fault, but suddenly he felt so guilty. He reached out to lay his hand over Robin's. "I'm really sorry I didn't know about you." Robin looked up at him with sad eyes. "Me, too." They stared at each other a moment before he shifted his gaze to Lois. She was wiping tears again. He smiled at her, still unable to believe a woman that really didn't have a connection to him at all would react this way to him. "Hey," Lois began after a moment. "You know what? Since Clark and I are going to be married, I guess you'll have to meet my parents. Or maybe not. They're so different from Clark's folks." She realized what she'd said with a start. Her head whipped around to face Clark. "Clark, we haven't told my parents; they're going to have a fit. Well, Mom will. You know how she gets. Daddy will... well, I'm not sure what Daddy will do, but we still have tell them about Robin. And of course, now we'll have to make accommodations where the wedding's concerned. Yet another thing Mother will freak out about." She stopped when Robin started to chuckle. "What?" "I bet you do that every time you're nervous." "Do what?" she asked. "Babble." Lois narrowed her eyes at the boy who seemed to be too smart for his own good. She figured he'd gotten a little wiser than most from being forced to grow up quickly over the last couple of years. She hoped she and Clark could give him back his childhood now. Clark chuckled softly at her expression. "Lois, you're in trouble." "It seems so." She reached across and ruffled Robin's hair. "Smarty pants." He laughed softly and looked back down at the photo again. "Do you have pictures of your parents?" he asked Lois without lifting his eyes. "Sure." Lois dug through her pocket book for her wallet and produced the items asked for. Robin took them into his other hand and held them side by side with those of the Kents. "Yesterday I didn't have anybody. Today I have a great big family." His eyes shot up to Clark. "It is okay for me to say that?" "Robin, you're home. You'll never have to move anywhere else again." Clark offered him another smile. He smiled back and continued his examination of the photographs. After a moment, he laid them on the table and looked up at Clark. "What should I call you?" "What do you want to call me?" "Well." He glanced back down at the images, then back to Clark. "I'm not sure." Clark smiled at the boy. He felt so many things for this precious child already. Robin had just met his father, one he never knew about, after being jostled from home to home for two years. Clark was amazed how extremely well adjusted the child seemed to be, but saw clearly the uncertainty and fear behind his blue-gray eyes. As much as he would like to hear the word 'Daddy' come from his son's lips, he knew that right now building trust was the most important step in their relationship from here. He'd allow Robin to decide when and *if* that was something he ever wanted to call him. "How about we start with Clark? Maybe you'll think of something later on." He added the last bit just make sure Robin understood that whatever name the child chose for him was perfectly okay with him. He added a soft smile for good measure. "You won't be disappointed that I don't call you Dad?" Clark reached over to grasp his hand. "Robin, I know you're scared. I am, too. So is Lois. This is really big. And I wouldn't dream of scaring you more. I want you to be comfortable, happy here. When you are, you may feel like calling me Dad. Until then, I'm just happy to be able to have you with me." Robin's eyes filled with tears as he stared at Clark. "I think... I think I'm glad the social workers found you," he said softly. Clark squeezed his hand, fighting tears himself. "I think I'm glad they did, too." Lois wiped her tear streaked face. Watching Clark deal with this initial meeting furthered the guilt she felt for having ever made him think that she'd want him to choose between her and Robin. The first chance she got she was going to offer up another apology and a hug. For the first time she understood the words 'wouldn't have missed it for the world'. "Hey, tell us about Robin Douglas." "What do you want to know?" He withdrew his hand from Clark's and took another drink from his can of soda. "What grade are you in? Do you like school? What kinds of foods do you like? Stuff like that." "I'm in second grade. Guess I'll have to switch schools again." Clark nodded sadly. "What school will I be going to?" Clark exchanged a glance with a startled Lois. "Oh, Clark. We haven't even thought of that. Should we send him to public school or a private one? There's a great school just a few blocks from the Planet. I had to do a mood piece on it for Perry once. If he went there, we could have lunch with him sometimes. Of course, there's another great school a block from my place. And what about after school? He'll have to have a sitter. Should we get a private sitter or put him in the Planet daycare? I don't really like the idea of him being there with all those kids. You know, germs and everything. Kids in daycare just seem to stay sick. But again, he'd be close and I think I really like that idea. What do you think?" "Wow!" Robin had to take a breath. She'd exhausted *him*. He looked over at an amused Clark. "She's amazing! She didn't take a breath the entire time!" Clark dissolved into laughter, causing Robin to join him a second later. Lois stared at them i