By Anna Botsakou <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Submitted: July 2004
Summary: In this elseworld story, Sydney AKA Lois Lane must marry Rakati, the king of the Hubatis, in order to become a goddess. However, everything changes when the man in blue suddenly appears.
This is a fic written in response to this challenge: http://www.lcficmbs.com/cgi- bin/boards/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=000216 Thanks to Mary and Emily for the challenge idea.
WARNING: This fic is, if not silly, at least weird. Be forewarned.
Disclaimer: Lois and Clark belong to whoever has their rights. Sydney Garner. well, consider this an Alias inside joke. (Who said I only watch L&C?) Some of the ideas belong to Queen of the Capes aka. Mary Potts, the rest is all mine. And, to my knowledge, there is no Hubati tribe and the name Rakati is made up.
Lois took a hot look at her cape in order to dry it. As she did, she made mental notes of her schedule for the rest of the day.
Fishing was done. Drying her cape, almost done. Cooking.
She grimaced. Rakati wasn't back yet. That meant that she'd have to cook the fish herself.
Okay, what was next? Oh yeah. Bring rain.
She grimaced again, and, for the zillionth time in four years, she wished she hadn't accepted to play the goddess for the Hubatis. If she hadn't, she wouldn't have to do things she found just completely boring, and she wouldn't have to marry Rakati — who was nothing more than a useless creature. She still hadn't understood why the Hubatis had chosen him as their king.
On the other hand, what was her other option?
Go back to Metropolis and keep pretending to be 'Lois Lane, a Daily Planet reporter' whose scoops were actually — although nobody knew that — reports of her latest CIA missions, which she managed to cope with due to her supernatural abilities.
No. Sydney the Goddess was better. Since Sydney Garner was out of the question.
She would really like to go back to Los Angeles someday, see her parents — well, the people that raised her — and tell them that she never died in that car accident, that she wasn't even in the car when it took place. That all the CIA wanted her for was to be fed that super serum — regardless of the fact that they then discovered she was an alien, and the 'Lois Lane' project had taken another turn.
But it was too late. Lois Lane had already taken away six years of her life. Plus four here in Africa, ten. Ten years she had never felt how it was to be yourself. Your real self.
Anyway. She had to go bring rain.
Darn! She had just dried her cape. It'd need drying again.
But, anyway, she didn't like flying with a wet cape.
She left the ground slowly and headed to the Atlantic Ocean to heat some water. It'd take hours, creating the clouds, bringing them above the village and crushing them together.
Yeah. Because, of all Hubati goddesses, she was perceived to be the rain goddess. The one that had left their village too many years ago and taken the rain with her. But now she was back, and she should bring the rain back too.
She grimaced. 'Now that I'm done with teaching them English, I should try teaching them some Physics,' she thought as she headed to the sea.
It was late in the night. She and Rakati were sleeping when she felt something on her back.
"Rakati, please, I've told you like a zillionth times that we goddesses are not allowed to mate with humans," she said sleepily.
No answer. But that something continued. Multiplied.
Had he grown extra hands?
She turned around, and opened her eyes. "Rak.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"What?" he asked, still half-asleep.
She immediately floated above the bed, supervisioning around the dark room in horror. It was full of small, square-shaped, green creatures with tiny hands, legs and an annoying face. She wasn't afraid of them, but they gave her the creeps. They were so. so. yuck.
Suddenly, the door opened. A man in a blue, red and yellow suit appeared. Lois almost lost her balance, but managed to land properly — unfortunately stepping on some of these awful, disgusting, icky. things.
"Are you all right?" the man asked.
"Yeah." she said, although she was almost sick from the view. She turned to take a look at Rakati, who hadn't really been bothered by the invasion.
Man, she was growing more tired of him day by day.
Then she suddenly became suspicious. "Who are you? How did you get here? This place is isolated, no one knows of its existence!"
"Umm." the man said. "See, I saw the zombies landing."
"You saw them?"
"Yeah. Was returning from India."
"And going where?"
"Home. Umm, to the United States," he added, realizing she probably knew nothing about him.
"And you had the plane land here."
"No, I was flying. Just like you were before."
"WHAT?!" She couldn't believe her own ears. He had seen her!
"Are you, by any chance, Kryptonian?" he asked timidly.
"Umm." She couldn't deny it. It would be pointless. "Yeah. You too?"
"Yeah. You know, you remind me of someone."
"May I turn the light on? It's too dark in here."
"There's no light to turn on, but." She heat-eyed the candles around the room in a blink, and the room got brighter.
She hesitated for a moment. "Yeah, you could say so. Do you know me?"
"Now, this is a weird story."
"Tell me. But. Yuck!" She became aware of a zombie walking on her leg. "Are they an endangered species, or can I kill them?"
"I." The man shrugged, not knowing the answer.
"Okay." That was enough for her. She started heat-eyeing every zombie in the room until they all melted. Then she stared at Rakati. How could he still be sleeping with all the noise and the rising temperature and the. eww. horrible smell of the burnt zombies?
Anyway. She stared back at the man. "So, do you know me?"
He hesitated for a second. "Now, I know that this is going to sound weird, but."
"I have met a woman from another dimension who looked just like you and whose name was Lois Lane."
"What do you mean by 'another dimension'?"
"I mean exactly that. I've met a guy with a dimensional- travelling machine."
She stared at him with clear interest.
"Do you believe me?" he asked distrustfully.
"Of course," she said naturally. "It's not like I haven't heard crazier things."
"Oh, that's good," he said in relief.
She realized that he meant that the fact that she believed her was the good one, so she didn't ask the question he expected 'Do you think it's good for me to have heard so many crazy things?'.
But she did ask something else.
"Oh. Clark. Clark Kent. Or Superman, if you prefer."
"Oh. You are Superman, and I am Sydney the Goddess. How nice."
"Sydney the Goddess?"
"Forget it. You can call me Lois if you prefer. Was just wondering, is it all Kryptonians' fate to be perceived as divine creatures?"
After a while, he spoke. "I don't know."
"Are there any more Kryptonians on Earth?"
"I don't know."
"What do you know?"
"Umm." He looked around, trying to find something to say, and his gaze fell on Rakati. "What's with him?"
She shook her head. "Don't ask."
"Are you married to him?"
"Sort of. Unfortunately."
His face turned serious. This wasn't supposed to have happened. "But why?"
"You know, they think I'm a goddess, and I was supposed to marry the tribe's king. And, of all people, he is their king. The worst they could find."
"I want to leave, but it wouldn't be fair to them. They're completely clueless."
Suddenly, her face lit up. "Will you take my place?"
"And marry this guy?"
"Not necessarily. Look, I've taught them English, it's not gonna be difficult. Just. teach them about the world. They're not gonna believe you at the beginning, but in the end."
"And what are you going to do until then?"
"Stay away. I've had enough of them."
"Can't you stay? With me?"
She shrugged in a 'sorry, but no' way.
"If I asked you to marry me?"
She became skeptical. "Yeah, that could work. If we tell them you're Brike, the god of the ocean, you know, I'm the goddess of the rain, and rain and ocean are both water." She smiled. "Why not?"
"No, I mean *really* marry me."
"What do you mean by 'really'?"
"I love you."
She sighed. "You hardly know me."
"Just seeing you was enough for me."
"You're very romantic, aren't you?" she smiled.
"Okay, I will," she finally answered.
His face shone like the sun.
"Just one thing." she remembered suddenly.
"Are you any good at Physics?"