The Lover After Me

By Saskia <saskiakooistra333@hotmail.com>

Rated: PG

Submitted: May 2004

Summary: As Lois prepares to walk down the aisle on her wedding day, she contemplates her choice of groom and wonders about her feelings for Clark Kent.

Author's Note: This story is dedicated to my dear friend Sara for her birthday. In the year we've known each other now, Sara and I have become very good friends and we discovered we have a lot of things in common. Like our tastes for fic. So this story should contain about everything she likes. I do like to point out she's usually the more *evil* person in this friendship, so it's all her fault. ;)

The title comes from a song by Savage Garden — Sara's favorite group and this is one of the songs she adores. The title just fits this little story.

A big thank you goes out to the Pelican. Not only did she help me brainstorm and encourage me to write down the silly ideas I put past her, she also agreed to read this for me and cheered me up with some of her remarks about Sara-specific things. I owe Shelley a lot for agreeing to be my BR once more, for acting as my spell check, shamelessly nagging me and listening to hours of my rants and questions. <g> And thanks also to Anne, who, despite her busy life, BR for me as well. You're wonderful! Finally, I'm grateful for all the help my GE, Lynn M, gave me as well.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, nor has this been written for profit. No copyright infringement has been intended. Several lines of the episode House of Luthor have been included and I do not claim any rights to them.

***

Bright sunlight shone through the window at the end of the hallway, illuminating the entire hall. The light walls reflected the sunlight, which made it look ever brighter. All the sunrays came together at one point in the middle of the hall.

A small figure stood there, waiting in front of the big doors. Any minute now, they would open and she would have to walk to the other end of it. Dressed in an overly expensive but very beautiful and flattering wedding gown that accented her in all the right places, she waited for the moment the music started to swell.

After a short engagement period, the wedding had come too soon for her. She wasn't ready yet to get married, to commit the rest of her life to another person, to act as a wife. She wasn't even sure if he was the right man for her. There were still doubts, but here she was, about to say 'I do' to him.

She knew she wanted to get married at some point in her life, but was this the right moment?

Every other man she had felt attracted to or had dated were either far below her standards, not worth her time, turned out to be bad guys, didn't live any more or had refused her. The only man who wanted her and didn't fall into any of those categories was standing in front of the altar right now. He was attractive, charming and she really liked him. She could picture an interesting life with him. But was that reason enough to marry him?

A wobbly Lois Lane was horribly confused on what should be the best day in her life. She had just spent hours to get in her dress, to get her make up done and to have her hair styled perfectly. She looked better than she could remember she had in a long time.

The wedding was also like a dream come true. This was what every girl dreamt of when they were standing in front of the mirror as 6-year olds, imagining their big day with their Prince. This was the sort of wedding every woman wanted, but most of them could never get. She should feel privileged and happy. What was wrong with her?

Maybe it was the fact she felt like a Barbie doll who would live in a fairy tale today.

Maybe she didn't want to be a princess.

Lois threw her hands in the air in despair. She had gone over this debate with herself zillions of times already, and she always came to the same conclusion. There was nothing left in her life to fight for, nothing else to live for. Everything she had now was this; this moment and this man. So why shouldn't she marry him?

Yes, she would marry him. If she didn't, she knew she would only live life wallowing and feeling sorry for herself up until the moment it would become too much and she simply stopped living all together. This was a far better prospect on her future. Besides, she truly liked him and cared for him.

By now, Lois started to get agitated. It was time the music played and the doors opened for her. It was time. Any more time would only make her suffer and think. She'd done enough of that the past weeks. It was time to enjoy herself and return to the beauty of life.

But the doors didn't open, and the soft tones of the wedding march didn't reach her ears yet. She was getting bored with just standing there and merely waiting. It would look weird if she started to pace, but she really needed something to do. So she hopped from one leg to the other, waiting.

She didn't allow herself to think about the subject again. Instead, her thoughts drifted to the day ahead of her. Her soon-to-be husband had made sure it was going to be the best day of her life.

After the ceremony was over, the party would move to a large room elsewhere. Where, she wasn't sure. There, a reception would be held in honor of the newly weds. It was open to everyone, so the people without an invitation would get a chance to congratulate them as well. Why that was necessary, she didn't know either.

Everyone she knew and cared for was here today, in the room on the other side of the doors that still didn't open. Her friends were there. At least, the ones that were left. And the ones that appreciated her decision and supported her. The counter would probably stop at zero.

Okay, so her family was there.

But Lois knew that wasn't true either. Her father had called earlier to wish her luck and to tell he couldn't make it. Something about being swamped at work, on the edge of a break-through and a new woman, if she had understood it right. She probably should just be happy he hadn't forgotten about her wedding day all together. Lucy wasn't here today, either. Her sister was in the middle of exams and just couldn't leave. This was probably the only time Lois regretted the huge distance between Metropolis and Los Angeles.

At least her mother was there. She had been very supportive, which Lois had found surprising at first. But now she didn't know what she would have done without her. Her mother had proven to be a true gem who had picked her up and talked a lot of sense into her. Ellen Lane had finally turned into the mother Lois needed and she was very grateful for it.

She knew her mother would have a great time today. She was part of the high society today. There would be a party later on, and Ellen would partly be in the middle of all the attention. She sighed, knowing that her mother at least deserved that.

The party would be grand. There would be about ten artists performing in quite a few different genres. He had told her who the artists were, but she didn't remember much of it. Some of the names she hadn't even known. There were only two names she distinctly could recall. Celine Dion and Luther Vandross. The last one she actually liked. But she could remember a duet those two artists once did and she really liked that song. She hoped they'd perform that one at least. For the rest, she didn't care much. As long as they all played some good music, she was okay with it. A nice variety of slow ballads and some more upbeat songs, so the people could dance. It was, after all, a wedding reception — part of her wedding even.

Right at that moment, the doors opened. Lois quickly replaced her doubtful look with a friendly one, complete with a huge smile. She hoped she looked genuinely happy.

Every head in the audience turned to look at her as she just stood there in the door opening. The room was completely packed with so many people that Lois idly wondered where they all came from and if she even knew them at all.

Quickly scanning the faces, she noticed President Garner along with some of his secretaries. There were also a few senators. Other faces looked very familiar to her as well. She could even swear there were some other presidents present today. And there were many more people she vaguely recognized but couldn't quite recall where she'd know them from or where she'd seen them before.

Finally, her attention wandered to the man waiting at the end of aisle. He stood there as his cleverly charming self in one of those majorly expensive designer black tux. Standing up, he looked very tall. His face was turned towards her. She could read the anticipation and desire in his eyes. An incredible smile was plastered on his face. That was how she knew her now-almost husband. Although… he did look a bit frightening.

The music started to play, and Lois had no time to think about that thought anymore. Slowly, she made her way down the aisle. She tried to focus on the music and to move her feet in the right rhythm. Her brown eyes were firmly fixed on the altar. That was where she had to end and that was where she would say those two scary words.

During that short walk that seemed to last forever, she let her mind wander over the year she knew him now.

<"You are a strange one, Clark Kent."

"Am I?"

"Yeah, but I think I've got you all figured out.">

Clark. She had fallen for him very soon. But she just had to deny that feeling, pushing it to the back of her mind. If only she hadn't, then maybe he'd still be alive today…

<"Claaaaark?"

"Just a second, Lois, I…">

She'd been so attracted to him. And the only time she'd reacted on it, very strongly even, was when she had been under the influence of a stupid pheromone. Clark just had to act as the boy scout and ignore his feelings while struggling terribly to push her away.

God, how she missed him!

<"Goodbye, Lois." >

Darn, and he could kiss too. There was that one time during the heat wave when he'd about given up on Metropolis. And she still remembered the kiss in the plane in his first few weeks and the kiss in the honeymoon suit in the Lexor. If only she could feel his wonderful lips on hers again…

Yeah, if only.

But that wasn't possible. That's why she was here today. That's why she was going to marry another man who'd dazzled her during the same time and had helped her with her grief over Clark.

How everything had happened she still didn't know. She didn't even want to know. The hurt and pain she'd felt after Perry had told her still lingered inside her.

That day, a little over two months ago now, Clark's apartment had been set on fire and burnt to the ground. How it had happened no one knew yet. A short circuit? Arson? A bomb? She didn't know. What she cared about more was that since that day, Clark had been missing. No one had seen him since. No one knew where he was during the fire. The police hadn't found evidence he had been inside his apartment. There were no signs of another crime or if he'd been taken hostage. No ransom had been demanded. Clark was just gone…

Gone!

After a few weeks without a clue and a sign of life, he'd been presumed dead. What else could be the cause?

Lois suspected he'd been killed and that his apartment had been destroyed to cover up the evidence. His body had been dumped somewhere where it wouldn't be found. Like on the bottom of the ocean…

Ever since, Superman hadn't showed up either. There was no logical explanation for his disappearance. Maybe he was overwhelmed by everything about Clark. The two were friends… And if even Superman couldn't find him…

The music ended and Lois stood next to Lex. He wasn't Clark, but he cared for her and wanted what was best for her. She figured she wouldn't get it any better if she couldn't have Clark.

The archbishop started his usual talk, and before she realized it, Lex had said 'I do' without a moment's hesitation. He gave her an encouraging smile.

"And do you, Lois, take this man to be your wedded husband, from this day forward, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" the archbishop asked.

She turned to look at Lex with a small smile that didn't even reach her eyes, then said, "I do."

The rings were exchanged and the bishop proclaimed them husband and wife.

That was it then, she figured. Lois Lane was now officially married to Lex Luthor.

Lois Luthor…

THE END… For Now.

(c) Saskia, May 2004