The Name

By Classicalla <>

Rated: G

Submitted: August 2006

Summary: Lois thinks she and Clark have agreed on the name of their sixth child. Little does she know…

Disclaimer: The familiar characters and settings belong to DC Comics, Warner Bros., December 3rd Productions and whoever else may have any legal right to claim them. I am not profiting by their use. The character of the baby is all mine


Lois Lane Kent loved being a mom. She reveled in it. Before she married Clark, she would never have thought she would love kids so much and she certainly never imagined wanting so many kids. Two days ago, she'd given birth once again, which meant the Kents now had six children.

There was just one little problem. They had not been able to settle on a name. Clark wanted one of their kids to be named Lois, but their baby daughter would need another name, too. It would be terribly confusing having two Loises in the house. She could just imagine Clark calling for Lois and both of them answering. She was ambivalent about naming her daughter Lois, but she had acquiesced because Clark wanted it so badly. Would Lois be her first name or her middle name?

Right now, though they just needed to come up with another name. Clark had suggested Lucy. But Lois Lucy or Lucy Lois sounded ridiculous.

They already had identical twin daughters named Chloe Martha and Claire Ellen. Their three-year-old daughter was named Jama Perri after Jimmy and Perry. Jon's name was Jonathan Samuel Clark so Jonna or Samantha were out, too. Their oldest — although biologically Clark's son (conceived without his knowledge) and technically adopted — was named Zared Hiram after his biological mother and Clark's grandfather so Sara was out. So what were they going to do?

She watched as Clark held their daughter and cooed at her. He was so good with the kids. She thought a moment more, then said, "Clark."

"Yes, Lois, honey." He tickled the baby under her chin. "Goo goo ga ga ga ga. Ooh, look at you. Aren't you just the cutest little baby?" He looked up at his wife. "She looks like your baby pictures, Lois."

"You think? I don't know. We'll have to see what mom thinks when she gets here." She paused. "How about Lois Bernette or Bernice after Bernie?"

"Bernette? Lois, pulleaase."

"Bernadette?" She paused. "Hazel? Henrietta? Hermione?"

"Hermione? Are you reading out of the baby names book again?"


"Lois, are you forgetting that I used to date a Lana? Lana Lang? Remember that she really wanted to marry me at one time?"

"It was a joke, you lunkhead."

Their daughter started crying and was chewing on her fist. "I think she's hungry, Lois. I think this one is going to be like you. She's going to let everyone know what she thinks about everything. Yes, I can see it now." He handed the baby to Lois.

He watched as Lois began to feed their newborn. He thought what a wonderful bonding experience between mother and child breast-feeding must be. He smiled. "Do you know how much I love you, Lois?" He beamed.

"I think so, handsome. I love you, too."

Ellen bustled in about that time with her arms loaded down with all sorts of baby stuff. Clothes, diapers, blankets, bows, rattles… "Oh, look how sweet. Another daughter. I really thought this one was going to be a boy. I guess I got it wrong. Oh, Lois. She looks like your baby pictures. Hurry up and finish feeding her so I can hold her." She started pulling out all her goodies and naming each item. She finished with, "Oh, and a gown and underwear for you, honey."

"Underwear, mom?" Lois said.

"Underwear, Ellen?" Clark said at the same time.

"Well, now, you just had a baby. You need to make sure you have lots of underwear. I even washed them. I'm always practical you know." She pulled them out and started showing them to Lois. They were labeled, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday… "Oh, and here, Clark. I didn't want to forget about you." She handed him a box of Twinkies.

"Thanks, Ellen."

"Have you decided on a name yet? They both shook their heads no. "How about Ellen?"

Clark answered, "You already have a granddaughter named after you. Remember?"

"Well, of course I do. I just thought it would be nice for one to actually be called Ellen." Lois was finished feeding the baby and handed her to Ellen. "Oh, she's so sweet." She held her a minute, then said, "Oh, shoot. Look what time it is. I've got to go." She handed the baby to Lois and sailed out.

Clark laughed. "I will never understand your mother."

"Me either, honey. When are your mom and dad going to get here?"

"I don't know. Maybe mom can help with a name."

"I've already given you her suggestions. You didn't like them. How about Gwendolyn, Glenda, Wilhelmina, Wisteria?"

"Wisteria? You want to name her Wisteria?"

"No! I'm just trying to throw names out there. How about Princess?" She giggled.

"Princess Lois. Oh, that's good, Lois." He just shook his head and said, "How about Lois Brook?" He cocked his head and got 'that' look. "I gotta go, honey." He made the flying motion with his hand. "There's a fire downtown and it's pretty big." He kissed her cheek and ran out.

She said, "But, Clark…" He was already gone. 'I *like* that name.' She was glad that at last they had agreed on a name. She smiled to herself. 'Yes, I like that name.'

The nurse walked in and said, "Mrs. Kent, we have the birth certificate all filled out. We are just waiting for a name. Have you picked one, yet? We need to get the paperwork done before you go home and you are going home this evening."

"It has to be done before I leave?"

The nurse nodded. "Yes, it does. Hospital regulations, you know. Also, the government doesn't like it if the baby doesn't have a name before discharge."

Lois smiled. "Well, my husband and I finally agreed on a name. Lois Brook. That's L-o-i-s then B-r-o-o-k. Her last name is Kent of course. K-e-n-t."

"Okay, then." The nurse finished filling in the birth certificate. "Are you ready to sign it?"

Lois flashed her a big smile and said, "Yes. Doesn't Clark need to sign this, too?"

"Oh, we got him to sign it earlier, declaring that he was the father. Only one of you has to give us the name. You did say you agreed on it, right?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely. I just wanted to make sure everything was in order. Reporter's instincts you know." She signed the bottom of the official birth certificate. "Yes, Lois Brook is just a fine name! Did my husband ever get around to autographing that book for you? Isn't he a good writer?"

"Yes, he did autograph the book. Tell him again that I said thank you."


The fire proved to be worse than Clark had thought it would be. It was an arson fire set in an apartment building. Fortunately, he and the firefighters had gotten everyone out and no one had died. The building, though, was a complete loss.

Now that it was over, he was a mess. Part of his cape was tattered, he smelled of smoke, and he had soot all over him. He went to the brownstone and took a quick shower.

As he was dressing, he paused to think about how they were probably going to have to remodel once again. The baby would be in their room for a while, but then, when she moved out, that would mean four girls in one room. They were already crowded — one more was going to be tough.

Zared and Jon had taken it upon themselves to divide their room into two rooms. Both rooms were *very* small, but they had assured their parents that that was okay as they wanted their own rooms. He supposed he could do that for the girls, too, but girls tended to need more room than boys and he didn't think a eight foot by four and a half foot rooms would do for the girls. He'd thought the boys were a little nutty. Their rooms were so small they were almost like prison cells. He thought that perhaps he could make a room downstairs, but Lois had thus far rejected that idea. He sighed and finally took off for the hospital.

He walked into Lois' room and said, "Hey, beautiful wife." He bent over and kissed her on the forehead.

"You didn't happen to bring the jeep did you? I can go home any time. I've signed my discharge papers and Brook is ready to go. I'm almost ready."

"Brook? Brooook?"

"Yes. I'm glad we finally agreed on a name. I like it. Lois Brook. That's a good name."

She was looking in the mirror putting on make-up and she didn't see the complete look of shock on his face. He thought to himself that the name Lois Brook had been a joke — as in his Lois babbled… like a brook. Babbling brook. And Lois had just officially named their child Lois Brook. She evidently hadn't gotten the joke. He wasn't about to tell her, either. She'd kill him. Lois' wrath could be almost as bad as a kryptonite exposure.

"You are awfully quiet, hon. Bad fire? I heard about it on the news. Can you gather up my flowers?"

"Umm… yeah. Arson." He began gathering up her flowers. "Fortunately, the jeep is in the parking lot. I've already got the safety seat in place."

Their daughter started crying. "Clark, honey. Don't just stand there. Pick Brook up. I just fed her so she shouldn't be hungry. She probably needs her diaper changed."

"Diaper. Yes." He proceeded to changed the baby's diaper.

Lois was done with her make-up and reached for their daughter. "Isn't Brook beautiful, Clark? Yes, I believe she does look like my baby pictures. Take some of this stuff out to the car. Okay?"

"Yes, Brook… is beautiful. Just like her mother." He swallowed hard and picked up several bunches of flowers. He had to walk out quickly before he burst out laughing. He was going to have to remember to never refer to Lois as a babbling brook ever again.


Two years later…

Clark and Lois had been on a stakeout for hours. She was in full babble mode. Clark loved it when Lois babbled. "Clark, I don't know why Bobby Bigmouth couldn't have helped us with this. I offered him Peking Duck for goodness sake. Now, I don't know why couldn't he have…"

"You stole one of his egg rolls last time."

"I did not. I most certainly did not. Did not.. did not…"

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Lois, I love it when you babble. My own babbling brook…" He murmured against her hair, "We've been here long enough and nothing has happened. Let's go home."

Lois yelled, "Why, Clark Jerome Kent, I should kill you! I'm going to kill you!!"

"Why?" He ducked as she threw her purse at him.

"Babbling brook? How could you? Why didn't you tell me? Claaarrkk!!"

Clark swallowed hard and thought he couldn't believe what he had just done. "Well, Lois, you liked the name and you… put it on the birth certificate… and… well, you still like the name. Brook *is* a nice name. And it fits her so well…"

She just looked at him with her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed. "Yes, I suppose it's a good thing I like the name. You are a rat. Yes, you are definitely a rat!"