By Mary Potts aka Queen of the Capes <queenofthecapes@gmail.com>
Rated: G
Submitted: January 2007
Summary: A documentary on those extraordinary and mysterious creatures known as "The FoLCs."
EIC's notes: You can find most examples of the FoLC species mentioned in Mary's story at the Fanfic Mbs [http://www.lcficmbs.com/index2.html].
WAFF = Warm And Fuzzy Feelings
PWP = Plot? What Plot?
WHAM = Wistful, Heartwrenching, Agonising Moment
FDK = feedback (comments on a story)
***
Spring…
The time of year when flowers bloom, and nature's creatures scamper out to bask in the glorious sunshine…
Creatures like the rare and elusive FoLC.
These fascinating beings are social creatures, and can often be found roaming the internet in various-sized groups. Many FoLCs occupy the mysterious and untamed NFic territory, but the habitat for most species of FoLC is the Gfic-MBs region.
Here we see a herd of FoLCs grazing on a fresh patch of angst. Angst is a main staple of the FoLCs' diet, though many are actually omnivorous, and will in fact devour large quantities of WAFF, PWP, Humor, and even the occasional WHAM. Many WHAM farmers have had trouble shooing FoLCs out of their gardens.
Sustenance is provided for the herd by types of FoLCs called "fanfic writers", although every FoLC contributes something to the group. Here we see a little FoLC-ling learning to type FDK.
FDKing is an important survival skill among FoLCs living in the wild. Without it, the fanfic writers become in danger of starvation, and the entire structure of the community collapses.
Another important job falls to a rare, specialized breed of FoLC called a "Beta". Betas consume large quantities of raw, unprocessed fanfiction produced by the fanfic writers, and regurgitate it as an enriched, higher quality substance that the FoLCs find much more satisfying.
Let's tag a Beta.
Here's a typical Beta, frolicking around with some raw fanfiction tucked under his arm. Note the red pen, a typical marking of this type of FoLC. Let's shoot him with a tranquilizer dart.
He's down.
This Beta, as we can see from the markings on his papers, is a grammar hound. Notice the frantic scribblings where there are ellipses instead of commas…the dramatic underlinings beneath letters that should be capitalized. Our experts will now tag his ear and release him back into the wild.
Ah! There's another Beta sniffing a patch of PWP nearby. Let's tranq her next.
What luck! This Beta is a rare find indeed. Notice the helpful commentaries written in the margins, next to the grammatical corrections. This Beta really knows plot. Of course, we can tell by deciphering the crude scribblings that this fanfiction's original creator will need all the help they can get!
Some fanfic writers allow their product to be processed by more than one Beta, resulting in very potent fanfiction. Let's shoot some more of them with tranquilizer darts.
This little fellow is not a fanfic writer at all. This is a "vid maker". This new breed of FoLC is highly prized among collectors; especially the elusive "trailer-back" FoLC. These creatures are listed as endangered; scientists guess over-hunting to be the cause. Let's shoot one with a…
Dang. We're out of tranquilizers.
And we're out of time.
That's all for today's show. Thank you for watching, and be sure to tune in to next week's special:
IRC: The Search for the Legendary "Lost Server of Gold".
THE END