By Vincent Pai <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Submitted February 2007
Summary: After Clark's secret is revealed to the world, the citizens of Metropolis must adjust when he decides to change his rescue attire. Or, they might just whine about it and appeal to a higher authority…
Notes: This story is pretty silly and pointless, even by my standards. This is set in the same storyline as Just a Normal (Super) Kid, but it's kind of separate, as it doesn't advance the main plot of that story, and you don't really need to have read that story to understand what is going on in this one.
I was going to call it Just a Normal (Super) Kid part 5.5 at first, but I decided that the different tone and relative lack of seriousness probably made it too different.
But, for those who might wonder, it starts right where Part 5 of that story ended.
"Well, at least we haven't voted in any elections since Jonathan was born," Lois remarked.
"Thank goodness for that, at least. It's going to be tough enough to downplay the fact that we supported Garner in '96 as it is," Clark replied as he grimaced, covering his forehead with his right hand.
After they had finished deliberating the possible economic impact of the world knowing that Superman was Clark Kent, the dinner discussion had turned to politics. Clark was worried about the prospect of one-party rule should it become common knowledge which party Superman had voted for in 1996.
Since Jonathan was in his last year of high school, politics were of special concern since he would be heading off to college soon. Clark had firmly decided that the family would not take a stance on any political issue. The Kents had their opinions on the issues just as everybody else did, but it was bad enough that the school board had just phoned in to notify Mr. Kent that all five of his pending PTA proposals had been accepted. Since everybody thought that Superman's opinion was obviously the right one, Jonathan would be staying out of campus activism.
Suddenly, Clark glanced at the clock. "Oh no, no, *no*, it's just about morning in Australia," he moaned.
"Oh, right. That children's hospital opening," Lois said cheerfully.
Clark sighed. "Well, I guess I'd better get it over with. I *really* don't want to do this, but the kids would just be crushed if *Superman* didn't show up. Since I already agreed to it before the secret came out, I guess I'll just have wear the suit one last time," he said, resigned to his fate.
"What? You really mean that? Oh, but honey, you look *so good* in the suit!" Lois whined.
"But it's *humiliating*! Lois, *honey* — I know you've always liked it, but the only reason that I was able to wear it before was because I *had* to, as a disguise! And because everyone thought that Superman was a different person, Clark Kent didn't have to feel embarrassed," Clark reasoned with his disappointed wife, trying to make her understand.
Jonathan winced for his father's sake. Nope, he couldn't imagine himself putting on anything like that either. <When my reflexes kick in, no way am I saving people dressed like that> he thought.
"Amidst growing panic among the citizens of Metropolis, one city councilman has suggested a new piece of legislation that would require all persons flying in city airspace without a plane to wear brightly colored spandex, citing safety reasons. However, it is unlikely to become law, as Mr. Kent does have the right to perform his life-saving rescue missions in the attire of his choosing. We now go to city hall, where…"
Clark changed the channel. This was ridiculous! Why did everyone want him to wear the suit, when he did a perfectly good job saving people in normal clothing? He groaned as the reason he was cooped up like a prisoner inside of his own house appeared on the screen.
"Here just outside of 348 Hyperion Avenue, the crowd of petitioners continues to maintain their vigil for the fourth day in a row. Please, Mr. Kent, we beg of you — show us the colors of hope again. We promise that we won't laugh," the television news reporter said while somehow managing to maintain a straight face.
People were waving picket signs that read things like "PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!" and "We'll be your best friends!!!" A number of tents had been pitched by the most dedicated fans of the red and blue suit.
The reporter's voice suddenly became excited. "Wait! Something's happening! The front door is opening!"
Clark jumped to his feet as he watched in shock as the television showed what was happening at his front door, just meters away from the living room he was in. Lois was stepping out of the doorway.
"LOIS! What are you doing?" he yelled after her, but she was already out of range.
Clark could only watch helplessly as his wife, the love of his life, the woman who had said that she loved him too but evidently hadn't meant it, sold him out on national television.
"Superman's wife is about to speak to the crowd!" exclaimed the reporter excitedly before Lois snatched the microphone out of his hand.
"OK, I would just like to say to everybody that I can understand your disappointment at the fact that my husband has not been wearing the suit lately. As a matter of fact, I miss it too. But, there's really no need for all of you to camp out here, so you can all go home — and *I'll* see if *I* can't convince him to put it on again," Lois stated simply before shoving the microphone back into the hands of the reporter and going back into the house.
Clark heard the door closing as he watched the now cheering crowd disperse in record time. He turned off the TV, knowing that the battle to come would require his full concentration.
"Claaaaarrrrrk?" he heard Lois call out predatorily from the next room.
Clark gulped. Life was so unfair.
Once again dressed in his red and blue Superman suit, Clark fervently tried not to blush as he withered under the gaze of multiple television cameras.
At least he didn't have to say anything. He was standing behind his wife silently in support as she received Metropolis's Person of the Year Award for "heroic actions above and beyond the normal call of duty."
Apparently, the jubilant citizens wanted to honor the great, compassionate, and generous Lois Lane for her sheer benevolence in restoring the hope that came with the Superman suit to the people of Metropolis.
Lois? Benevolent? Ha! If only they knew the truth.
As Lois turned to look at him smugly, Clark once again cursed his own weakness. Oh well, at least he would save money by not having his $400 business suits caught in gas explosions anymore.