The Early Snoop Gets the Scoop

By LaraMoon <>

Rated: G

Submitted: January 2008

Summary: Unexpected things happen when Lois and Clark are forced to spend an evening on a stakeout.

Author's Notes:

This is a ficathon story, written for Sue S.

Since she hadn't mentioned who -- apart from Bobby Bigmouth -- she wanted to see in the story, I immediately considered giving her Batman. But her request called for a nice, long kiss and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't convince Lois to kiss him and Clark just glared at me when I brought it up... *sighs* Characters! There's just no reasoning with them, sometimes!

This takes place after Chi of Steel and just before The Eyes Have It. That means, according to the series' timeline, the story would be set towards the end of January.

Huge thanks to Jessi, Jana, Jojo and Jenn for all their help and encouragement. (This sentence was brought to you by the letter J....) And thanks to Sue for... well... just for being Sue.

My pal, the original Bottom Dweller, has other notes, way down below, after November's two favorite words.


Lois came out of Perry's office and marched over to Clark's desk. She had a definite look of annoyance on her face and Clark braced himself for the storm he knew was about to hit.

"You'd better forget about whatever plans you'd made for tonight," she told him, handing him a piece of paper with a few notes scribbled on. "They're officially cancelled."

"Oh?" He took the paper from her and glanced at it. It didn't explain much, but from what he could make out of Lois's handwriting, she'd gotten a hot tip on the whereabouts of a rather shady businessman with possible links to Intergang.

"Yep. Instead of enjoying a nice, relaxing evening, doing, you know... whatever normal people do on a Friday night... you and I get to spend the evening in my Jeep, in the hopes of catching a -" she made air quotes with her fingers "- *criminal mastermind* coming out of what's apparently an illegal gambling club. Exciting, huh? I'm so thrilled!"

"Well, I could think of worse ways to spend an evening," Clark said after a moment's reflection.

"Oh yeah? Name one," Lois challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I don't know..." he said, a lopsided smile on his lips and a sparkle of amusement in his eyes. "How about being hung by your feet, several yards above the ground and--"

"Well, obviously, if you're going to cite examples where my life is in danger..."

"What are you two still doing here?" Perry called out to them, taking a couple of steps out of his office. "Go on, get out there." Seeing as though this wasn't causing any reaction, he added in a tone of urgency, "Today!"

"Going!" Lois replied, quickly heading to her desk and grabbing her coat, with Clark following closely behind. They got to the elevator just as its doors were opening into the newsroom.

"This is such a waste of a perfectly good evening," Lois complained as they got inside. "Perry got this tip and... I mean, why couldn't he have sent Jimmy there instead or... I don't know, anyone? Why does he need a team of two people for this? Honestly, all this involves is sitting there and waiting -- *hoping* -- to catch a glimpse of a supposed member of Intergang who may or may not be inside that bar we're going to be parked in front of all evening. A bar, which may or may not be illegal to begin with."

"I'm sure he had a perfectly good reason to want to send us," Clark suggested calmly. "It's not like Perry to assign just anything to anyone."

"I know." Lois leaned back against the elevator wall, sighing heavily. "It's just... I expected to be doing something else, tonight. You know?"

"A stakeout wouldn't exactly be my first choice of activity either," he offered. "But I'm sure we can turn it into something pleasant, if we try just a bit."

"Right." She let her head drop and sighed again, as though there was no possible way of salvaging what she'd hoped to be an enjoyable evening.

"Ah, come on." He took a step in her direction and tilted his head to the side so he could look her in the eyes. "I'll go out and get Chinese food from that place you like. How's that?"


"Sure." He graced her with one of his patented million dollar smiles as she looked up.

"I knew there had to be a reason why I keep you around," she said, smiling back at him.

"And all this time I thought it was so you could have someone to boss around." He chuckled.

"That, too."


"Do you think Manheim will ever get out of there?" Lois asked, lowering her binoculars. "That's if he's even in there to begin with."

They'd been sitting in the Jeep for over two hours. There wasn't any of the Chinese food left and nothing else to do now but wait. And exchange useless bits of trivia while staring at the entrance of a place that looked nothing like a place of business, let alone a club of any sort.

"He's in there," Clark replied, having subtly lowered his glasses a few times since they'd arrived and peered right through the wall.

"I know, I know. Perry's sources are always reliable. I'm just sick of sitting here," she told him. "I can think of a few things I'd rather--" She stopped cold and brought the binoculars back up to her face. "Oh no!"

"What do you see?" he asked, looking out in the shadows for any sign of movement.

"Oh, rats!"

"What? What is it?" Clark frowned. He didn't know what Lois had seen, having not had the opportunity yet to lower his glasses and be able to use his enhanced vision.

"Someone's coming this way," she explained, frantic, letting the binoculars drop to her lap. "They can't see us just sitting here. We need to... we should... um.... Oh, I know! Quick!"


Before Clark could formulate his question, Lois had grabbed him by the tie and pulled him sharply towards her. She threw an arm around his neck and, before he even knew what was going on at all, she was kissing him. Whatever reservations he might have had about being forced into the activity in this manner were forgotten just as quickly as they had arisen. He let himself be drawn in by the soft feel of her lips on his, the warm and silky brush of her tongue, willingly giving in to this particular form of diversion.

There was a soft sigh, and later, another. The Jeep windows slowly covered over with haze.

Then suddenly, unexpectedly, the clacking sound of metal on glass brought them back to the here and now.

Lois pulled away abruptly and turned to the driver's side window, eyes wide in surprise and panic. She squinted and brought a hand to shield her eyes from the blinding light shining in her face. With the touch of a finger, she brought the window down.

"Police," came an oddly familiar baritone voice. "You're not supposed to be here!" Lois fought the urge to roll her eyes at him. Of course they weren't supposed to be there. That was just precisely why she'd tried to hide what they were really doing; acting instead like a lovesick couple, parking there for a moment.

"Get that damned light out of my face!" she protested. She was certain she knew who this was, but she couldn't make out the man's features at all with the light pointed directly in her face.

The police officer lowered his flashlight slowly and cocked his head to the side in order to get a better look at her.

"Lane?" he asked, a touch of amusement in his voice. He bent down a bit further and moved the beam of his flashlight around, inside the Jeep.

"Detecti--" Lois started, but was cut off immediately.

"And Kent!" the man announced, holding the light in Clark's face. "Well, well, well! Isn't that nice!"

Lois tightened her jaw. Of all the people who could have been wandering around these parts, it just had to be a detective -- one they knew quite well, to boot. She was certain that by the next morning, the entire Metropolis police force would have heard about this particular incident. Police officers, she knew, were gossip-sharing champions.

"Look, Detective Wo--"

"So, you guys are *finally* going out together, huh?" he interrupted. If he had sounded amused a moment ago, he seemed downright giddy now.

"Oh. No, no. Uh huh," Lois protested, gesturing with both hands. "We're not. Definitely not."

The detective frowned. "Sure. And I was born yesterday."

"No, seriously." Lois sighed. "Look, we just saw someone coming at us and thought we'd be more likely to be ignored if we looked like we were engaged in... you know... something amorous."

"Really?" he asked dubiously, flashing the light in Clark's face again. But Clark just shrugged, having learned long ago that it was best to let Lois do all the talking in a case like this. "Gosh darn it. D'you know how much money some of us have riding on this?"

"You have- You- What? Money? What the- How dare-" Lois's voice reached up into the higher octaves as she became increasingly agitated.

"Look," he said, ignoring her protests completely, "I don't know what you guys are *really* doing out here, but I could venture a pretty good guess. If you don't mind just a small piece of advice: I wouldn't stick around here too long or you're going to end up in a body bag faster than you can call for Superman."

"Is there something you know that we don't?" Lois inquired, her interest piqued.

"There usually is, Lane." He chuckled. "There usually is."

"And you won't share?" Lois's question was met with a look of disbelief. "We would!" she quickly added, hoping to sway him into dropping a clue or two.

"Uh huh." The detective shook his head before walking away.

"Hey, wait!" Lois called out, but the detective just kept on walking. She let out a frustrated sigh and turned to Clark. "Well, I'm sure as heck not moving from here, now. Are you?"

"Well, since you're si--"

"Clark, do you think it's true?" she cut in abruptly.

"Do I think what's true?" he asked, uncertain what she was referring to so suddenly.

"Do you think they've got a pool going or something? Betting money on whether or not we're seeing each other?"

"I wouldn't exactly put it past them, but I--"

"Why would anybody do that?" she asked, frowning. "Putting money down on someone else's love life. What kind of a sick game is that? Couldn't they find anything better to amuse themselves?"

"We could put a stop to it easily enough, you know," he said, cautiously. "We could just tell them the truth. They'd be able to declare a winner and it would all be over..."

Lois frowned again and contemplated his suggestion for a moment. "I- I'm not sure..." she said, hesitantly. "Should we? I- I just don't know."

A gasp of surprise came from the backseat of the car. "Well, if you don't tell them, I sure will," came a man's voice.

Both Clark and Lois turned to look towards the intruder. "Bobby!" they exclaimed, almost simultaneously, having recognized one of their best informants.

"What?" he shrugged, taking a bite out of a messy meatball sub he held clutched in his hand. "You can't possibly expect me to keep a lid on this! It's the hottest piece of gossip since... since..." He snapped his fingers. "Since Congressman Fisher was caught doing the you-know-what with you-know-who."

"OK, how much is this going to cost?" Lois asked dejectedly.

"Cost?" Bobby echoed, puzzled.

"I know how much to make you talk," she explained, sighing heavily. "How much is it to keep your mouth shut?"

"Free." He opened the door and set one foot outside the Jeep. "This time. But just because I like you kids." A second later, he had disappeared.

"How likely to keep a secret would a snitch be, you think?" Lois asked Clark.

"This particular one?" He shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"We should probably let the secret out, then, I suppose." She sighed. "It's a wonder no one seems to have figured it out yet. I mean... it's been, what? Three weeks?"

Clark took a quick peek at his wristwatch. "Three weeks," he began, leaning in closer to Lois with each new word, "five days, three hours, forty-two minutes... "

Lois giggled softly, smoothing a hand on his arm. "I'd never have believed that people could be so easily fooled," she marveled. "Talk about being galactically stupid."


Bottom Dweller's Notes:

Sue's request was as follows:

1. One nice, long kiss

2. A stakeout

3. Bobby Bigmouth (if you can't work him into the story, just a passing mention will do)

When I watched Season's Greedings, a couple weeks ago, I found myself wondering how likely it might be that Lois and Clark had started dating right then and there. I mean, the ending.... come on! And then I found a couple of things in the two following episodes which could potentially support my theory: a) in the script (though it's not the actual episode) for Metallo, when they're at the hotdog stand, Clark tells the woman to hold the onions because he wants "his girlfriend to kiss him" -- well, I don't know about anyone else, but to me, this kind of implies he's got one. b) at the very end of Chi of Steel, Martha says about Lois, "she's family" -- not she *like* family... no, no, she *is* family. Kinda screams *girlfriend* to me, that.

Of course then they go and spoil it all with Mayson Drake in The Eyes Have It, but let's pretend she doesn't exist. I usually do.

Assuming that Lois and Clark starting dating on December 25th, this would mean that this story takes place ("Three weeks, five days, three hours, forty-two minutes" later) on January 20th, 1995. Perhaps not the most exciting date in the history of the world, but one I happen to like nevertheless.

BTW, Bruno Manheim, in the comics, is one of the leaders of Intergang. See here:

November's two favorite words, btw, are "the end" -- ask anyone who's done NaNoWriMo!