From the Beginning

By Sarah A. <mishmish.a@hotmail.com>

Rated PG

Submitted November 2008

Summary: Lois tells Clark when she fell in love with him.

HUUUUUGE thanks to Elisabeth for taking the time and looking this
over for me. You're a star!

Usual disclaimers apply, I don't own the characters and
yada-yada-yada.. Feedback much appreciated and the like. Now
let's get the show on the road!

Plus a 'Thank you' to LabRat for GE-ing this for me, much love
and appreciation.

***

I've never told you what made me fall in love with you. To be
honest it's the whole package.

I don't know why I fought it--why I was so against liking you.
It was probably because it would be too easy, so I made a huge
effort to hate you, and I couldn't. Nobody could hate you.
You're the sweetest, nicest, most caring person I've ever met,
and I was one of those people that couldn't help but like you,so
I settled for friendship. Thinking it was better than nothing.

Let's not bring Superman into this. He has nothing to do with
what I'm telling you. This is about us--about you and me...about
our future together.

I'll admit that I had a teeny tiny crush on the man, but it was
only because he was so good and he had all your qualities that
made you who you are. I'll admit I liked him for all the things
he stood for, and all the things he believed in, but I liked him
more because it was what you stood for, and what you believedin,
as well. You were so much alike! He reminded me of you so much...
but I knew deep down that nothing would ever happen. Could you
imagine how our life could've been? It would never work.

Lex.... Lex was a safety net. The only feelings I had for him
were admiration--but then everything he did got old and I was
tired of always saying, "Please" and "Thank you". That's the
only space the rat will get out of this.

And anybody else just doesn't matter and doesn't deserve the
space.

My point is that I want you. You're the person I want to spend
time with. You're the only person that I can't help but smile
back to when I see you smile. The person I love teasing and
sparring with. You're the only person who makes me enjoy it.
You're the only person who makes me feel good about myself. The
only person who made me feel like it's okay to be myself.

You're the only person who actually saw me for who I really am,
and didn't run in the opposite direction.

I realized when I started to acknowledge my feelings for you that
I was pulling away because of my past experiences with men, as
well as with my family. I've never seen that everlasting love in
my parents' eyes. I never thought that it actually existed. And
I didn't want to be like them. I didn't want to have their
future.

But I couldn't help it. I fell for you. I couldn't get you out
of my head. You were like a song stuck in my head. Even with the
way you ran off at the worst times. You're far from perfect, but
what made me keep going is the fact that you always came back.
You were always there when I needed you. And that just makes your
faults more bearable, as little as they are. You still had them.
And it's easy to tolerate them because you were always there
beside me when it really mattered.

And I realized when I look into your smiling eyes... I see home.

I never told you when I fell in love with you. Truthfully...from
the beginning.

THE END