GoldiLois and the Three Bears

By Lynn S. M. [ (Replace _at_with@)]

Rated G

Submitted March 2010

Summary: Can Lois find something that’s juuuuust right? A response to the Fairy Tales Fiction Challenge.

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Comments and constructive feedback welcome, but be gentle, please...

Semi-standard disclaimers apply: I don’t own Lois, Superman, or Goldilocks.

I apologize in advance for employing some negative stereotypes and characterizations of police officers -- They were necessary for the story line. In truth, I have nothing but respect for these RL heroes who risk their lives every day to help keep us safe.


Once upon a time, not such a long time ago, in the land of Metropolis...

“Whoa, Lois, you dyed your hair -- Smooth!"

“I’m fairly well known at the precinct, Jimmy; if I am to get to the bottom of the allegations, I have to change my appearance radically. I don’t want anyone to recognize me at a casual glance.”


Lois knew that Intergang was paying a police officer to help break Bill Church out of jail. Three of her sources had tried to tell her more about it. The first tipster was too hot: He had been caught in an arson fire before she could speak with him. The second tipster was too cold: Before their appointment, he had been found dead in a meat locker. But the appointment with Bobby Bigmouth was just right...he was able to help her narrow her suspect list down to three police officers. He also told her that he found out that Intergang communicated with the corrupt officer via e-mail. Lois just needed a few minutes alone with the suspects’ computers to determine the guilty party.

She enlisted Clark’s help to create a diversion. They had decided that they would make their move when most of the officers were either out on their beats or else making their morning “doughnut run". Superman would come in to discuss crime-related matters with the remaining staff. While the men and women in blue were talking with the Man in Blue Tights, she would sneak into the building to do some rapid investigating.

Everything went according to plan. When she checked the first computer, she was shocked to read the officer’s e-mails in which he bragged about how often he got stoned. His incoherent ramblings made it obvious that he wouldn’t be competent enough for Intergang to rely on him -- he was too high. The next officer’s e-mail was equally shocking, in a different way. Although not doing drugs, his writing showed him to be too stupid for Intergang to trust with this delicate part of their scheme -- His IQ was too low. But she struck pay dirt with the third officer’s e-mail: He was just right for the profile of someone whom Intergang would enlist. She was so engrossed with reading his incriminating e-mails that she was oblivious to the impending danger.

The three suspects returned from their doughnut run. The first one went to his desk and commented, “Someone has been using my computer!" Then the second one looked at his PC and stated, “And someone has been using my computer!" Finally the third one checked out his area and exclaimed, “And someone has been using my computer. And look! She’s still there!"

The third man growled so ferociously that Lois was startled back to an awareness of her surroundings once again. She looked up at the three angry “bears" and in less time it would take you to say, “Rumpelstiltskin," she ran out of the precinct building and all the way back to the Planet, as fast as her legs would carry her, where she wrote up the whole corruption story.

And Lois and Clark lived happily ever after.