I'm Superman

By Bek (superbek1984@gmail.com)

Rated: G

Submitted: May 2023

Summary: Clark has always seemed a little trigger-happy when it
comes to popping the question. He really needs to work on talking
himself out of it. A Seussian tale* in iambic tetrameter.

Story Size: 866 words (4Kb as text)

*Author's Note:* I have no idea how this happened, really. I
could say KSaraSara made me do it, and that would probably be the
truth. But I can't ignore that there was also too little sleep
involved and probably one too many
Clark-is-totally-ready-to-propose-already jokes... In any case,
um, enjoy?

***

I am him.
Him I am.
I'm Superman!
I'm Superman!
I must tell her I'm Superman!

*Will you ask her for her hand?*

I must tell her I'm Superman.
Before I ask her for her hand.

*Would you ask her here or there?*

I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere.
I cannot ask her for her hand
Until she knows I'm Superman.

*Would you ask her in a house?
Would you ask to be her spouse?*

I cannot ask her in a house.
I cannot ask to be her spouse.
I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere.
I cannot ask her for her hand.
Until she knows I'm Superman.

*Would you ask her with a box?
Would the ring have diamond rocks?*

Not with a box. Not diamond rocks.
Not in a house. To be her spouse.
I would not ask her here or there.
I would not ask her anywhere.
I would not ask her for her hand
Until she knows I'm Superman.

*Would you? Could you? In a car?
Ask her! Ask her! There you are.*

I would not, could not, in a car.

*You can ask her. You will see.
You can ask her in a tree!*

I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! She must know me.
I cannot ask her with a box.
I cannot ask with diamond rocks.
I cannot ask her in a house.
I cannot ask to be her spouse.
I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere.
I cannot ask her for her hand
Until she knows I'm Superman.

*A train! A train! A train! A train!
Could you, would you on a train?*

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! It's wrong you see!
I would not, could not with a box.
I would not, could not with those rocks.
I will not ask to be her spouse.
I will not ask her in a house.
I will not ask her here or there.
I will not ask her anywhere.
I will not ask her for her hand
Until she knows I'm Superman.

*Say! In the dark! Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?*

I would not, could not, in the dark.

*Would you, could you in the rain?*

   [there is a pause. Clark seems to consider this, then he
shakes his head]

I would not, could not in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I cannot ask, it's wrong, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
To be my spouse with diamond rocks.
I will not ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere!

*You cannot ask her for her hand?*

Not 'til she knows I'm Superman.

*Could you, would you, with a note?*

I would not, could not with a note!

*Would you, could you, on a boat?*

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not with a note.
I will not ask her in the rain.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! It's wrong you see!
I cannot ask her with a box.
I cannot ask with diamond rocks.
I will not ask her in a house.
I cannot ask to be her spouse.
I cannot ask her here or there.
I cannot ask her anywhere!
I cannot ask her for her hand!
Until she knows I'm Superman.

*You cannot ask her. So you say.
Tell her! Tell her! And you may.
Tell her and you may, I say.*

Fine! If she knows all of me,
I will ask her, you will see.

   [...and he tells her...]

Say! Now she knows I'm Superman!
And she still loves me as I am!
And I will ask her in a boat.
And I will ask her with a note...
And I will ask her in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
And she'll say yes, yes, yes, you see!

So I will ask her with a box.
And I will ask with diamond rocks.
And I will ask her in a house.
And I will ask to be her spouse.
And I will ask her here and there.
Say! I will ask her anywhere!
Now that she knows I'm Superman!
I can ask her for her hand.

THE END

*Story is based on *Green Eggs and Ham *by Dr. Suess, published
by Random House, 1960.